


Second Star to the Right

by SomePaperMoons



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Are James T. Kirk and Adora basically the same person? Probably, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, They're in Star Trek Now, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 88,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomePaperMoons/pseuds/SomePaperMoons
Summary: “I don’t know why you’re here or what complete failure of Starfleet bureaucracy meant that we’re back on the same ship, but I don’t care. We have a job to do here, and we’re going to do it well, and I don’t want you-“ she jabbed a finger into Catra’s chest –“messing it up because you think you’re smarter than the rest of us, or because you think you can get away with it because you know me.”“I don’t know you anymore,” Catra hissed, earning a flicker of shock and sadness from Adora that quickly flitted away. “Maybe I did, but-““Whatever previous relationship we had is over now, Commander. We’re going to be stuck together for a good while now, so either get with the programme or get out of here.”“I’m not going anywhere,” Catra said, bitterly. “It was you who left me, anyway.”Commanding a Starship is a hard enough job for Adora, but when the former friend you think hates you becomes your First officer, its' not exactly going to get easier. There's a lot to process between you, but when you're in Starfleet, the fate of the galaxy has a tendency to get in the way...
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 138
Kudos: 278





	1. The New Broom

**Captain’s Log Stardate 4514.4., Captain Adora Gray recording. The USS Alliance has arrived at Starbase 14 for resupply and to take on new crewmembers. Shore Leave has been granted the ship’s compliment for the duration of our stay. With the death of Lieutenant Commander Wilson and the departure of Lieutenant Sheridan, we will also be taking on two new members of the command staff. It is safe to say that I have....some reservations about our assigned first officer.**

_This can’t be happening_. _This really can't be happening._ The feeling of disbelief had been rolling around in her head for the last hour she’d spent pacing up and down the small annex outside of Commodore Brightmoon’s office, ignoring the bemused look from the Secretary. No, actually,that was wrong. It had actually been rolling around in her head since she’d received the date packet with the crew transfers and the details of her new command staff. She’d tried not to audibly scream when she’d read that Ca- _she’d_ been assigned to the Alliance, but both Bow and Glimmer had known her long enough to know that she was not exactly a-ok with something, and the rest of the Bridge crew were probably tipped off by how jumpy she was for the entire time she was sitting in the command chair. Her original plan, to pretend that everything was ok and that she wasn’t 30 seconds away from jumping out the nearest airlock had been scuppered when she’d come off watch to find the two of them in her Cabin.

“Spill,” Glimmer had said, arms folded as she sat on the bed. Bow had phrased the request more carefully, but he’d essentially asked the same.

“Have..” Adora remembered fumbling with the words at this point. She might be the Captain, and technically her superior officer, but she still sometimes withered under Glimmer’s stares. “Have you two seen the transfer list yet?”

“Not yet,” Bow said. “Why?”

“It’s-“ Adora sighed, grabbing the data slate on the table and shoving it to him. “Look.”

Bow and Glimmer crowded together to read down the list, then both looked up at the same time when they saw what their Captain was so stressed about.

“Oh.” Bow said quietly. Glimmer had looked back for a second to confirm she’d read it correctly, before giving Adora a sympathetic look and taking her hand.

"It'll be alright," she said, "We won't let her hurt you again. We promise." Adora hadn't corrected her, knowing that once Glimmer decided she needed to protect her friends there was no turning back.

"Thanks, guys but-" Adora groaned in exasperation. "What exactly *can* you do? She'll be here, on the bridge, all day, every day and..." she grasped for the correct words for a second. "...I don't think I could cope with that."

"Cope with what?" Bow asked.

_Seeing her every day,_ Adora thought, knowing she couldn't say that. "I couldn't cope with a first officer who hated me, that's what I couldn't cope with," she said, trying to convince herself that that was all that was wrong with this.

It had been Glimmer’s idea to see the Commodore when they arrived at the Starbase and request a change. It could be done discreetly, she insisted, but Adora couldn’t see what was discreet about marking a new hole in the Starbase’s carpet while puzzled staff officers hurried past her. She was about to give up when the office’s doors slid open to reveal their occupant.

Commodore Angella Brightmoon was as tall as Adora remembered her being back on the Renown, with the same severe face that hid kindness, her almost-ethereal silver hair framing it. She looked tired, her shoulders sagging underneath her Gold tunic. Then again, Adora had yet to meet a Starbase commander who didn’t look like they didn’t want to give up and move to Risa.

“I Apologise for the wait Captain Gray, I’ve been stuck in meetings with the Department of Agricultural Affairs all day.” She gestured into the office with one arm, rubbing her forehead with the other.,

“Agricultural Affairs?” Adora asked with a smirk as she entered. “What could they want with you, sir?”

“Don’t ask,” the Commodore replied. “Needless to say, I’ve made it someone else’s problem, which I’ll probably pay for some other day, but one takes victories when they come. Now,” she said, sitting down behind her desk, “how can I help you?”

Adora, who had been inspecting the list of ships in orbit _,_ jumped slightly at the directed question. “Oh! Well, it’s about the-“

“the Crew transfers,” Angella interrupted, with a hard look in her eyes.

Adora’s shoulders dropped. “Yes. You see-“ The Commodore’s hand went up to stop her.

“I’m going to have to deny that request Captain."

“But- you don’t even know what I was going to ask!” Adora replied, trying to keep herself from yelling at a superior officer.

“I cannot accept your request for an alternate First Officer,” Angella said firmly. Adora sighed, recovered herself then began.

“Why not? There must be plenty of Officers available for a position like this one!”

“Not on Starbase 14, Captain.”

“What about on the Alliance? Bow and Glimmer are up for promotions anyway and-“

“Mr. Sherwood has expressed no interest in the command track and as for Glimmer-“ Angella sighed and leaned back in the chair. “Let’s just say I’ve had enough accusations of nepotism for one career.”

“But-“

“Let me level with you Adora,” Angella said, leaning forward again and putting her hands on the table. “I have my own opinions about Lieutenant Commander Weaver, but the fact of the matter is she’s ideal for the position. She’s got experience in Light Cruisers and good knowledge of this sector of space. Despite previous complications-“ Adora resisted the urge to roll her eyes- “her last six years of service have been nothing but exemplary. The only blemish on her record is from Governor Weaver and we both know why that's not worth factoring in.” Adora huffed in response, but Angella ignored it. “She’s a good officer Captain. She may be brash, but so were you once too. You’ve matured since the Dryl incident, and frankly so has she.”

“What are you saying, sir?” Adora asked.

“Suck it up, Captain,” Angella said with a small smile. “Ship Captains have had worse to deal with than Officer’s they have a history with. Count yourself lucky you’re not dealing with a Rigellian fever outbreak. You’re both young- lord, you’re younger than Jim Kirk – but you’re ambitious and dedicated to Starfleet and what it stands for. You’ll get along well, and if you don’t – well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Adora sighed, knowing she’d lost this one. “Aye, sir.”

“Will that be all?” Angella asked.

“Yes sir,” Adora said, standing up.

“Good. Carry on,” The Commodore said, turning to the viewscreen on her desk. Adora paused for a second, then turned and began to leave. “Oh, Adora?”

“Yes sir?”

“It was good to see you again. Give Glimmer my love, will you?”

Adora smiled. “Yes sir.”

***

Adora stared at the drink in front of her, sighing. She’d called back up to the ship to tell Bow and Glimmer the bad news. Bow had reassured her that it’d work out-she’d needed that. Glimmer had merely blown up, announcing that she’d beam down herself to sort her mother out. It had taken some convincing to stop her from marching down to the Transporter room, but eventually, Adora had convinced her that she would be ok. Now, Adora sat at the bar in the Officer’s mess, trying to bore a hole through the whisky glass with her eyes.

She didn’t even like whisky. She’d drank it at the Academy because Catra drank it, and when they were at the academy they did everything together. She smiled slightly at specific whisky-related memory.

_“Catra! What the hell have are you doing!” Adora hissed as the Caitian climbing in through her dorm window._

_“Relax,” she said grinning as she walked across the dark dorm room,“I had to go out through another exit instead of the main doors.”_ _Her cadet’s uniform was ripped in several places, evidence of Catra's midnight escape through the bushes._

_“_ _You’re not meant to go on night outings if you’re confined to quarters,” Adora huffed. “They’ll catch you.”_

_“Calm down you dork, I’ve got Kyle covering for me.”_

_“Still you shouldn’t be here,” Adora said, sighing. “Why did you punch Octavia again.”_

_Catra shrugged “She was being stupid.”_

_“She was trying to pass a tactical test, Catra!”_

_“Yeah, but she was being stupid about it.”_

_“I- you know what, nevermind. Why are you here anyway.”_

_“Well,” she said, drawing a bottle of Whisky out from behind her, “I thought someone needed a congratulation gift for passing the Kobayashi Maru test.”_

_“Firstly, you can’t pass the Kobayashi Maru test-“_

_“Jim Kirk did,”_

_“Secondly, I didn’t pass it,” Adora said, distantly. “I couldn’t beat the odds. Five times I tried and still-”_

_“I know. This isn’t about passing it that way.” Catra climbed up onto the bed and sidled in next to Adora, who was hoping the lack of light in the room would hide the fact that her ears were now the same red tinge as the wallpaper. “You passed,” she said deliberately, “because you moved past beating it.” She paused, smiling slightly._

_“But- But I failed!”_

_“Adora!” Catra hissed, “You don’t need to save everyone to win. You just have to do the right thing.”_

_“What do you mean?” Adora said, quietly._

_“You do what the right thing is to you, whether that’s saving the freighter or your crew.”_

_“But why not both? Why isn’t that an option! Why must you-“ she was interrupted by Catra’s hands on either side of her face, soothing her and pulling her back from the spiraling. She looked up into the other girl’s blue and gold eyes and felt herself coming back to earth, calmed by the sight._

_“You- you can’t be everything to everyone Adora,” Catra said, smiling. “You have to know what you want, what **you** think is best before you can set yourself aside for others. And today, you learned to do that.”_

_“I gave up, Catra.”_

_“You gave up on being stupid, Adora,” she said, smirking as she opened the bottle, “and that is something worth drinking to.”_

_“I don’t like Whisky,” Adora said tentatively._

_“drink,” Catra said firmly. Adora took the bottle. It burned as it went down, and Catra cackled and the coughing that erupted from the blonde girl. “You’re such an idiot,” she said with a smile. Adora couldn’t help but smile back._

Adora clung onto the warmth of that memory, barely aware of her surroundings. She wanted to be back there-back at a point where her life was simpler, where she didn't have to worry about duty rosters and three shift rotations and whether she was going to get everyone killed or not. _It was simpler when it was just me and Catra against the world_ ,

“You know, when you drink away your sorrow’s, you’re actually meant to consume the drink.” Adora nearly fell out of the barstool at the interjection to her memory and spun around to see a Gold-shirted man grinning at her. "At least that's what Scotty tells me."

“Captain Kirk!” she said, slightly panicked.

“Still got that hair poof in?” he said with a smirk.

“What is it with people and my-never mind. It’s good to see you sir,” she said, absent-mindedly patting her hair down.

“Please, he said, gesturing to the ran on her sleeves, “We’re at the same pay grade now _Captain_ Gray.”

Adora snorted. “Still only a commander on the books, but thank you, _Jim._ ”

He smiled warmly at her. “Well done on getting the Alliance, by the way.”

“She’s no Constitution Class, but she’s got, you know, charms of her own.”

“I’m sure she does,” he said with a grin. “Ships with smaller crews form tighter bonds with each other. At least that’s what I’ve heard.”

“I’d say that's true,” Adora murmured, trying not to think about what she’d heard about Bow and Glimmer in the ship’s rumor mill. “But I like the informality.”

“It must be nice not to spend all day worrying about whether you got the Yeoman’s name right or not,” Kirk pondered. Adora chuckled, her nervousness receding as she remembered more of the Bookish Lieutenant who’d been her Academy instructor back when she’d been a bright-eyed cadet with little to worry about but grades and whether she’d get into the Academy Hockey team. Kirk had been hard on her for not keeping up with his classes, but they’d ended up with a grudging respect for each other after Gary Mitchell’s disastrous attempt to set the two of them up together (Gary had never had a good Gaydar, at the best of times.)

“I heard about Commander Wilson,” he said quietly. “Damn shame.”

“He was a good officer,” she mused, “I’m not sure if the replacement will stand up to him though.”

“Ah,” he said, with a sad smile. “I heard about that little development.”

Adora blanched for a second. “er, how?”

Kirk shrugged. “It’s a Starbase. You hear things.” Adora raised an eyebrow at him. “Dr. McCoy saw you ruining the Commodore’s carpet earlier. As did about half the base operations staff.”

Adora groaning, hiding her face. “Please don’t remind me.”

“I won’t”. He took a drink from his glass, then looked thoughtful for a second.

“Spit it out,” Adora said.

“Have you spoken to her since the Inquiry?”

Adora was caught out by the forwardness. “I-uh, haven’t. I thought about it, but with the transfer to the Renown I had new duties and I just threw myself into it all and-“

Kirk waved away the rest of the explanation. “That’s how it is for all of us. I’m sure it was the same for her.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, trying not to think about it.

“Do you still _think_ about her though?”

Adora sat upright, her ears (and probably the rest of her face) burning bright red. “James Tiberius Kirk! What are you-“ she was cut off by the light chuckle on his part. “Wha- what are you insinuating?”

“Oh please Adora,” he said, “ _everyone_ knew about you two at the Academy. You two were the worst kept secret in Archer House. I’m just glad you never canoodled at the back of my classes.”

“We-weren’t a thing.” She said quietly. "I think I'd remember if we had been, but- no, we weren't."

“Not for lack of wanting it to be a thing, though” he mused quietly. She didn’t answer. “I get that.”

“Is that about Carol or Spock?” Adora snarked, getting the satisfaction of an incredibly uncomfortable look from the Enterprise Captain, who looked down at the bartop for a second while his cheeks burned red.

“You’re as bad as Bones,” he said into his drink. Adora laughed at that, and he began to laugh as well. It felt good to laugh with someone today.

“I’m- I’m not worried about that,” she said. “It’s just- I don’t know where I stand with her. She’s going to be my executive Officer, and I- I don’t know where we stand!”

“Breaking in a new XO is hard enough when you don’t have a previous relationship,” Adora cringed internally at that word, “but when they’re- they were your friends, you need to set boundaries. You’re in command, Adora. She’s your ship, and Catra will be part of your crew. She can advise, speculate, call you out and remind you where you’re wrong-“

“She’ll definitely do that,” Adora murmured.

“-but in the end, you have the final word. Don’t forget that.” Kirk had a hand on her shoulder now, and he gave her a reassuring smile. “But remember to trust her, Adora. She’s probably as afraid of this as you are.”

“Thanks,” she said. Kirk went to say more but his communicator chirped behind him.

“Kirk here,” he said, giving Adora a _here we go again_ look.

“ _Incoming message from Admiral Fitzpatrick, sir_ ,” the Enterprise Communications officer said through the device.

“Understood, I’ll be up in a minute.” He closed the Communicator and stood up. “Duty calls,” he said with a shrug.

Adora stood up as well. “I should head back as well,” she said tugging her gold tunic down. “Hopefully Entrapta hasn’t disassembled the warp drive as part of an R and R project again.”

Kirk raised an eyebrow at that. “One day she and Scotty will end up in a room together and they’ll be hell to pay.”

Adora shuddered at the thought. “Don’t tempt fate, Jim.” He smiled.

“I’ll be seeing you around,” he said, pulling her into a quick hug.

“Thanks for the pep talk,” she said quietly.

“You looked like you needed it,” he said. “Remember Adora, you need to trust her.”

“Yes sir,” she said with a mock salute. He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t forget to trust yourself as well,” he said.

Adora gave him a confused look, but then he was through the doors and gone. She sighed. _I'm not sure who's going to be easier to trust here, me, or Catra._


	2. Dawns and Departures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for your Reference: The Pioneer Class features in Star Trek Online, and looks like so: https://memory-beta.fandom.com/wiki/Pioneer_class

Catra’s walk from her quarters to the Transporter room was longer than she remembered it being when she arrived. She shrugged it off, instead mentally ticking off the uniforms and personal possessions she had packed into her Starfleet Issue carry-on. It was pointless – she knew that. She had only packed the bag ten minutes ago and she’d already checked off everything at least three times now. It was just-

It took a lot for Catra to admit she was nervous. She wasn’t someone who liked people to know that she was anything but confident, calm and that she was always in control. Especially when she wasn’t in control at all. She tried to forget how many times she’d adjusted herself in the mirror, how many times she’d checked the rank slides and mission patch (Catra would never get used to this stupid flower thing, or the gold tunic) before stepping out of the room and heading to the Transporter room. She felt herself tug at the sleeves, ignoring how uncomfortable it felt. Normally, she’d have worn her old red Tunic with the sleeves rolled up for comfort and ease, but when she’d gone to do so this morning in the mirror, she’d caught the eyes of the stranger in the mirror, with her short haircut and her strange Gold tunic and the ranks of a Lieutenant Commander. This wasn’t the brash, unpromotable Security Officer she sees- _used_ to see herself as. She had told herself she was going to be a different person to that now, and that meant changes. She had left the sleeves down, but they still felt wrong. It was another addition to the list of things that were telling her that this was wrong and that she needed to run, and hide, and not have to face this day and all it meant.

She knew that this day would happen eventually- hell, she’d even had some say in the timing and location of it, but she still felt that same feeling of dread. Was it dread? It certainly felt like dread. She wasn’t sure whether there was any hate mixed in with it as well, but- we’ll she’d only know when she was in the room with Ado-the Captain again.

They had been – well Catra didn’t know the exact words, but they had been close. It wasn’t like people didn’t have Academy flings, but whatever they had had together been different from what other cadets had done. They’d never been physically close, but people knew better than to mess with them or to hit on either of them. It wasn’t like they hadn't dated (or at least tried dating), but the fact was there had never been anyone else in the world Catra would trust but Adora, and she'd thrown that all away. Did Adora hate her? Probably. Did she hate Adora? definitely not, but was she going to let Adora know that?

She didn't know.

She was barely aware of herself rehearsing her words to her, the first words after six years of complete silence. Six years of separation that had begun with a screaming match outside a courtroom and a big red stain on Catra’s career that had hung over her since- at least until today.

 _Maybe I’ll finally turn a corner here_ , she mused. The Transport room appeared round the next corner. She paused for a second, breathed in, then stepped through the doors.

“Lieutenant Commander Weaver requesting transport to-“ Catra was suddenly swept up in a vice-like hug that reminded her of only one other person in the Quadrant. She struggled to breathe for a second, gasping for air and trying to see who the hell was-

“Wildcat!”

_Oh._

“Scorpia! Can’t breathe!” she said with a rattle before she was swiftly dropped by the large, Silver hair woman, who was grinning at her wildly.

“Oh my gosh! It’s you! Catra! Here! In this room! How long has it been!

“Six months,” Catra said, rubbing her bruised ribs. It hadn’t been that long since both her and Scorpia had finished their tours on Starbase 6- a mission that had begun six years ago as an ordeal of misery and dejection for Catra. Scorpia had been her only friend for a while, even if Catra at the time hadn’t been able to admit that for herself. She’d been there when Catra had needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to back her corner. Despite her forwardness and exuberance, Scorpia was a for a long time the only person in the Galaxy who Catra knew cared about her, apart from-well that was the past. Scorpia had cared, and she’d stuck around even when she’d found out why Catra had been dumped on Ground Duty. It was nice knowing that someone would always have your back, and as much as Catra spent her time griping at her kookiness and overenthusiastic hugging, she felt like she’d missed Scorpia when they’d been apart. Catra honestly hadn’t expected the feeling of relief that had washed over her when she read that Scorpia would be transferred to the _Alliance_ with her, and could help but smile when she saw how much her half-scorpion friend was beaming at the sight of her.

“Six months! I thought longer! It felt like forever! You know where I ended up before here?”

“I-“, Catra began before Scorpia pushed onwards.

“K-7! Imagine that! So close to the Klingon’s! It was so dangerous and so fun! But then I got this transfer and now I’m here! With you!” The half-Scorpian’s grin was so wide Catra was afraid it might cause lockjaw, but she couldn’t help but keep smiling back.

“It’s good to see you too, Scorpia.” She said. “I’ve-“ she rubbed her arm, averting her eyes. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too , buddy,” Scorpia said, lunging in for another hug before she was Interrupted by the Transporter chief.

“Sir?” The small Vulcan behind the console said. Catra looked at them, remembering suddenly why she was here.

“Oh- err, Two to beam up to the Alliance.”

“Aye, sir,” he said.

“You’re going to the Alliance!” Scorpia said, looking like she’d just died and gone to heaven.

“Yeah,” Catra said, trying not to betray her own emotions about the fact. “Did you not check the transfer list?”

“I didn’t have the chance, but I’m glad I didn’t because this is the best surprise I’ve had all week!” Scorpia squealed with excitement. “This is going to be so great!”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Scorpia, get on the transporter pad.”

“Oh!” the woman jogged up to the platform with her bag, still grinning ear to ear. “This is going to be the best assignment we’ve ever had! You know Entrapta’s on the Alliance?”

“I heard,” Catra said through gritted teeth, mentally preparing herself for the ordeal of beaming up.

“Oooh, and we’ve got a brand new first officer as well! Isn’t that exciting! I wonder what they’re like? If they’ll-”

Catra turned to Scorpia, her ears standing up. “Scorpia, I’m the new First Officer.”

“What? But you’re in tactical.”

“Scorpia?” Catra tugged on her Gold shirt and the rank tabs on her sleeves. The tall girl looked down at her own Red shirt, then at Catra, then at her shirt again, before squeeing and lurching forward for a hug.

“Energizing,” the Transporter officer said.

 _Oh thank God,_ Catra thought, as Scorpia faded in the yellow light of the transporter beam. Then, the nausea began.

***

Catra _hated_ transporters. She avoided them where she could, but in Starfleet, that was…hard. Scorpia caught her when she stumbled upon materialization. The Alliance’s transport chief cocked an eyebrow at this.

“Are you ok Wildcat?” Scorpia asked.

“I’m fine,” she hissed. “And it’s sir,” she added, standing up.

“Oh! Sorry, Catra, sir!” she said, standing bolt upright. Catra waved it off, then turned to the Transporter chief, who stared at them amusedly from behind the console.

“Lieutenant Commander Weaver and Lieutenant de Garnet, I presume,” they said with a smirk.

“And you are, chief?” Catra snapped.

“Chief Petty Officer Netossa, sir.” She said, standing slightly more stiffly. “The Captain’s expecting you in the conference room.”

Catra nodded, filing it away. “Thank you, Lieutenant. Could you let her know we’re on our way?”

The chief shook her head, “Sorry sir, but _someone_ has managed to take out internal ship communications for the time being. If you wait for a second, I can get someone to show you the way-“

“No, we’ll find our way ourselves,” she said cutting the Lieutenant off and dragging Scorpia out the room into the corridor. The Alliance was a Pioneer Class Light Cruisier - not exactly a ship a of the Line – but while she was small, she didn’t seem as cramped as one would expect. It was not exactly a Constitution Class, but the curved grey corridor outside the transporter room was wide and the ceilings high enough to avoid the claustrophobia that Catra had felt aboard smaller ships. Officers and crew shuffled past them as they made their way along the hallways, ignoring the look of wonder on Scorpia’s face. Catra scanned the signs on the wall for a second before pulling Scorpia along with her. “C’mon,” she said excitedly.

“But-that sign said the conference room was-“

“We’re not going to the conference room.” The turbolift doors opened and the two stepped in.

“But-where are we going?” Scorpia said, nervously. “Regulations say we need to report to the captain before we do anything else.”

“I have something better in mind,” Catra said, grinning as she grabbed the control handle. “Bridge,” she said, and the turbolift began to move at speed.

“Catra-“

“Sir-“ she hissed.

“Sir, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean we just got here-“

“Relax,” Catra said, as the turbolift halted. “We might as well see where we’ll be spending all our time.” She flashed the security officer a grin, then stepped onto the bridge.

The Stevenson class bridge was also (thankfully) not as cramped as Catra was expecting. It was laid out similarly to a Constitution-class in both function and style. Black consoles with red trimming surrounding a central well separated by Red railings. In the well sat the Captain’s chair was, along with the Navigation and Helm stations in front of the position -only the helm position was filled at the moment, by a tall man with a large moustache who had his regulation boots pulled over his trousers. Looking around, Catra sounded off in her head the positions clockwise – Engineering, then Damage Control, Tactical, then the viewscreen (currently showing the USS Hood in drydock and the other berthed Ships in orbit, and Blue hue of the planet below). Then came Environmental, Science Stations One and Two, and finally Communications. At the communications station, a short blue-shirted woman with bright pink hair (that seemed to sparkle in the light somehow) tinkered with the controls impatiently, while another crewman was underneath fixing something, with the odd grunt of exertion as they fiddled with the wires.

It was a familiar layout – familiar enough that Catra would’ve been able to find her way around it if she hadn’t been up all night poring over the ship’s schematics. It was exhilarating to finally see it, and if Catra wasn’t such a guarded person she suspected she’d have already started stroking some consoles and buttons like a madman. This was the hive of the ship-her new workplace and home, and it felt good to see it finally, to hear the ambient hum and other light noises that felt eerily like being back at home. Catra had missed being onboard ships. Starbase work had been monotonous, beyond the odd trip in a shuttle, and she wasn’t made for that. She was made for this, and she knew it. It was one of the few things she felt actually sure of.

“Wow,” Scorpia breathed, earning a curious look from the Ensign at the Engineering Station.

Catra chuckled. “You’ve never served long on a Starship, have you.”

“No, mainly starbases. This- this is amazing!” she squealed. The crewman under the console jolted suddenly, banging his head on the underside of the communications console.

“Bow!” the blue-shirted Lieutenant dropped to pull him out. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine Glimmer,” the crewman (a tall, redshirted Lieutenant with dark skin and a purple tinge in his hair) said as he stood up, rubbing his forehead. He turned to look at Scorpia, who was standing sheepishly by the turbolift.

“Sorry!” she said, waving a pincer.

“Oh! Don’t worry about it,” The Lieutenant called Bow said. The other lieutenant eyed Catra up, ignoring Scorpia. Catra didn’t like it and felt her tail swishing restlessly behind her. The was an unspoken assault in that stare, and Catra wasn’t one just letting that sit.

She crooked an eyebrow and putting one hand or her hip. “Is there some way I can help you, Lieutenant…”

“Lieutenant Brightmoon, sir, Science Officer”, the pink-haired woman said, practically spitting out the word ‘sir’. Catra recognized the malice in it – the bitterness of disrespect. She’d dished it out herself many times, and she went to throw something back and caught herself. _Not the time to make new enemies_ , she thought. “We’re just conducting repairs, nothing for _you_ to worry about, _sir_.”

“Well,” Catra said, making sure she sounded sincere instead of sarcastic. “What’s the problem with Communications?”

“Well-“the tall redshirt said, before glancing at the short woman. A silent argument then took place between them, which it _seemed_ like the redshirt one. “We’re trying to integrate the new relays for the long-range subspace system into the main communications network, but it’s shorted out internal ships comms instead of integrating properly.”

“Have you tried rerouting it through the main computer?” Catra asked, already knowing what answer she would get.

“That’s the first thing we tried,” Lieutenant Brightmoon-Glimmer-whatever her name was said with a huff. “It’s textbook stuff.”

Catra hummed for a second, thinking, then dropped her carry on and began to fiddle with the buttons for a second. “Bow, isn’t it?”

“Lieutenant Sherwood, sir,” he volunteered.

Catra turned around “Your name is Bow Sherwood? Is your dad called Robin Hood or something?”

The Pink Haired Blueshirt snickered at that. Lt. Sherwood - _Bow_ went red but shrugged. “Something like that, sir.”

Catra smiled. “I like you,” she said pointing at him. “Could you get down their can try reconnecting the relay now?”

“Aye, sir!” he said, dropping down and into the crawl space. He fiddled for a second. “Try now!”

Catra activated the internal system. Nothing. She thought, then- “Try routing it through the main computer then into the comms system.” There was silence as Bow fiddled with the wires. Catra was aware that the entire bridge crew was watching her, assessing her silently. She shrugged off the dozen or so eyes (including the extremely judgemental ones from the Science Officer) watching her.

“Ready sir,” Catra flipped the switch. There was nothing. _Dammit! All that flair and concentration just to look like a complete fucking fool before I’ve even had my first day. Of course I couldn’t do it._ Catra sighed and turned to help the Comms officer up when suddenly an ear-splitting noise came through the bridge speakers.

 ** _“Captain to Bridge! For the love of God Glimmer have you fixed everything yet? You know how hard it is to co-ordinate resupply when you’re getting messages by hand! Jesus Christ-“Adora’s_** voice came booming through the bridge speakers, deafening everyone before Catra could switch it to the localized speakers **. “ _Can you hurry it the fuck up?”_** Hearing Adora’s voice again after all these years was always going to stir up strong emotions but hearing her now- _swearing_ \- nearly broke Catra. It felt like they were back in the academy, tearing their hair out over exams and practices and drills, like they were those two crazy orphans from Etheria who’d beaten it all and made it to the top together. She knew that life was gone, but it still took all her effort not to burst out laughing and let go a cackle that would have left her in tears. Glimmer gave her an odd look as she struggled to hold it all in, but she shrugged it off.

“Bridge here, Captain”, Bow said before Catra could open her mouth. “Internal comms should function as normal now.”

An exasperated sigh of relief came from the speaker. **“ _Thank god, you people are lifesavers_.” **

“It wasn’t us sir!” Bow said chipperly, grinning at Catra. _Oh no_ , she thought. “We had some help from Lieutenant Commander….” He trailed off for a second.

“Weaver,” Catra volunteered silently. There was no response from the speaker for a second, and Glimmer glanced nervously at Bow, who looked a little worried. The rest of the Bridge crew were all looking at Catra still.

“Are you there, Captain?” Bow said, his voice breaking slightly.

 **“ _Yes.”_** Adora hissed **. “ _Is – is the new security chief up there as well?”_** she sounded less angry now. More sheepish.

“Y-Yes, sir!” Scorpia volunteered, and Catra had to put an arm out to stop her from going and having a full conversation through the communications panel.

“ ** _Good. Could you have them sent down to the conference room please?”_**

“Aye sir,” Bow said, before closing the channel and picking his earpiece up. “If you’ll follow me, he said, gesturing to the turbolift.

***

Bow had told Scorpia to wait until Catra had finished with Captain before entering, then left to attend some other business. Catra had been standing in front of the door for a minute or so before she finally pressed the door chime. There was a second, then the command “Enter!” came from behind the door. She took another deep breath, then stepped forward and entered the conference room.

The conference room was designed to seat the entire senior staff, but right now every inch of it was covered in thick black Data slates of all shapes and sizes, even a few paper readouts, all listing equipment and storage space, as well as requests from various departments for stores space and supplies. Catra took it all in, then looked behind the desk, feeling her heart race as she looked up.

Adora hadn’t changed much. She still wore that stupid hair poof. She still fiddled with pens by tapping them on data slates to some hidden rhythm, then sliding one or two up her shirt cuff. She still bit her right cheek when she was concentrating. But she also looked older. Her jawline was more chiseled, her hands less calloused now that she wasn’t out playing for the Academy Hockey team every weekend, and she looked _tired._ The bags under her eyes looked almost permanent, and her eyes themselves looked very wearing, and even though Catra could still see that glint of wonder behind them, they still looked vacant and hollow. Catra knew that command was a burden one faced alone, but Adora looked physically drained. _Was she always like this_ , she pondered or had the knowledge that she was coming back into her life caused that stress.

Catra thought about all the lines she’d rehearsed on the shuttle to Starbase 14, and the script she’d scribbled out on a placement in the Starbase Canteen, but all she wanted to do right now was hug the friend she’d hated for six months then missed for the other 66 they’d been separated. But she could not do that, could she? She was the Captain now. She wasn’t her friend anymore. So, she said the only thing she could think to say.

“Hey, Adora,”

The Captain- _Adora_ looked up at her briefly. Catra knew how much that phrase- that mere phrase – could pull Adora out of a stupor of stress, or spiraling, and felt glad it could still do that a bit. Catching the deep blue-grey eyes for a second, Catra suddenly felt her heart race briefly. _Why was it doing that? Stop It!_ She told herself, her tail flicking in frustration.

“It is customary,” Adora said, looking back at her data slate, “for new members of the senior staff to see the captain _immediately_ upon arrival on a new ship.”

“Sorry.”

“And for the record,” she said through gritted teeth. “It’s Captain or sir.”

 _Oh. We’re having it that way then_. Catra stiffened her posture like an academy Cadet and picked a spot on the blue-gray wall to stare at. “Permission to come aboard sir!”

Adora didn’t lookup. “Permission granted.” She put the data slate down and picked up another one. “Lieutenant Commander Catra A. Weaver, Serial Number SC945-0188EC. Previous Assignments: USS Reed,USS Montreal, USS Loire, USS Mikasa”- she paused for a second, probably for the same reason that Catra winced internally and her tail flicked with agitation- “Starbase 6. Two commendations for Valour and two-“ Catra winced again- “official reprimands.” Adora put the slate down and stood up, meeting Catra’s eyes for a second. “Tell me about the incident on Thaymor IV.”

 _Shit._ Catra’s eyes flicked down to Adora, who somehow managed to betray no emotion. _Where did she learn to do that?_ “I was leading a security team protecting Ambassador Castaspella. The local leaders were raising trouble with the Federation traders, and she was sent to renegotiate their trade privileges. Things got-“ she looked down at Adora- “a little hairy.”

Adora raised an eyebrow. “You stunned a Federation Ambassador.” _Oh, here we go,_ Catra thought, he tail fuzzing up.

“She wasn’t co-operating, sir! The rioters were armed and about the break down the doors and she wanted to _talk_ to them. What was I meant to do? Let them string her up? Yes sir, I stunned her, then I carried her back to the shuttle before evacuating the rest of the Federation personnel in the city. And I’d do it again with no reservations. It was the right thing to do.”

Adora looked at her for a second, then a smile began to creep across her mouth. “Good work.”

“…thank you, sir?” Catra said, daring to look back down from the spot on the wall.

Adora picked up another data slate and held it out in front of her. Catra looked at it, then at her. “Are you going to take it, Commander?”

“Oh!” Catra said, taking it from her hands. “Sorry, sir.”

“The Hotspur has come up alongside to deliver engineering equipment and parts. However, whatever idiot“ Catra suppressed another laugh. “organized the transfer did such a hack job that half the equipment we need is still on the Hotspur, and half the cargo we do have _they_ want back.”

“You want this sorted now, sir?” Catra said.

“Please. Bow- _Mr Sherwood_ will see you to your quarters, then proceed.” Catra blinked at Adora for a second, as she leaned over the table and reached for the console to call for Bow. She tried not to look at the blonde’s arms for too long, then look hurriedly down at the slate when she turned around again. “report back to me when you’re finished.”

“Aye, sir.” _Was that it?_ She thought. _No shouting match? No screaming? No confessions or wailing or hugging? Just formalities?_ The door behind her slid open. Catra turned to see Bow standing in the corridor. She looked back, but Adora had gone back to the paperwork in front of her. Catra sighed, hitched her bag upon her shoulders, and turned to leave. She got to the door before turning. Adora looked up suddenly. Catra thought about saying something, but she felt her herself freeze up. _Get a grip Catra, you can't fall apart before you've even_ _started._ She turned and left quickly through the sliding doors, pushing the thoughts of what she could have said away.

She swore she heard Adora say “It’s good to see you Catra,” behind her, but she ignored it.


	3. Reopened Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Senior Staff, USS Alliance (From Stardate 4515.3)
> 
> Captain: Adora Gray  
> First Officer: Lieutenant Commander Catra Weaver  
> Science Officer: Lieutenant Glimmer Brightmoon  
> Chief Engineer: Lieutenant Commander Entrapta  
> CMO: Dr. Helena Mermista  
> Security Chief: Lieutenant Scorpia D'Ream  
> Operations/Communications: Lieutenant Bow Sherwood  
> Helm: Lieutenant Samuel H Hawk  
> Navigation: Lieutenant Lonnie LaForge  
> Relief Navigation/Chief Botanist: Lieutenant Perfuma Flowers

**Stardate 4515.5 1600 Hours Ship Time.**

Bow had talked a lot on the way to her quarters. He talked about his job - beyond being the communications officer, he was also tasked with acting as operations officer for the ship, which meant he spent a large amount of time trying to organize the shipping routes and convoy duties assigned to the _Alliance._ "Or at least I would," he complained, "if the Captain didn't insist on doing it all herself." Catra snorted at that, remembering the piles of work Adora had built up for herself in the past.

He had told her about their patrols along the Klingon border, chasing pirates and escorting convoys. Then he’d moved told her about the rest of the senior staff – the sarcastic but effective Chief Medical Officer Dr. Helena Mermista, the curt but effective Yeoman Frosta Shackleton, and the incredibly insane sounding Helmsman Lt. Samuel Hawk, or ‘Seahawk’, as he apparently insisted on being called.

“He set a shuttle on fire?” Catra said in shock.

“Well-technically he set three shuttles on fire,” Bow shrugged as if it were nothing. “We’re taking delivery of the _Dragon’s Daughter IV_ tomorrow. It's no biggie.”

“If he so much as lights a match when I’m in the room I’ll chuck him in the brig.” Bow merely chuckled, before stopping at a door.

“This is you, sir.” He said. She glanced at him, then gave me a quick smile.

“Call me Catra, Bow.” she flashed him the quickest of smirks, before stepping through the door into her new home. “Computer, lights,” she said, at the light level came up to reveal a far larger space than she’d ever expected to be living in. The quarters were portioned into a lounge area, with a desk and a viewscreen, and a sleeping area. Catra gave a quiet whistle, before putting her carry-on on the table. “Nice space,” she mused.

“The Sonic shower’s through there,” he said, pointing to another door. "No food dispenser, but we can't all live like Admirals."

“No communal showers?” Bow snorted.

“What is this, a Klingon ship?” Catra raised an eyebrow at that.

“You’d be surprised how basic a Starbase can get on the crew-side.” Bow went quiet, and Catra then began to unpack her belongings. She had packed away all her clothes (just her Dress uniform and a few sets of Civilian and loungewear – ships’ stores would cover the rest) when she noticed that the Lieutenant was still standing in her quarters. “Don’t you have anything to do?”

He shrugged. “I’m supposed to wait for you then assist with the transfer from the Hotspur.”

“Doesn’t Sparkles need more help breaking the computer?” she teased. Bow looked confused for a second, then smiled.

“Glimmer will be fine. She’s a good scientist, but she’s a menace around computers and I don’t want to get in the way of that. Now Entrapta-“

“God, don’t remind me.”

“You know Entrapta!” his eyes lit up with excitement.

“Yeah, when she was on Starbase 6. She reprogrammed my tricorder to tell me off every time I broke a regulation.” Catra shuddered at the memory of the machine telling her that her hair was in violation *every* morning for a week before she smashed it to pieces. She had cut it all off a month later, but still. It had been cathartic. She smiled at the memory before pulling the last remaining items out of the bag- a few books, a couple of good luck charms and-

“is that the Captain?” Bow asked from over her shoulder, making Catra jump.

“Hey! That’s private!” she said, her fur bristling as she leaped away from him, cradling the frame to her chest.

“Sorry, sir.” Bow said, looking ashamed of himself. Catra softened, then held the frame out for him to look at. It was a picture of her on graduation. They were grinning ear to ear, waving the stupid ceremonial caps around like mad. Behind them, the Golden Gate Bridge gleamed in the California sunshine. It was a good memory. A happy one.

_“Catra!” Adora’s yell caught her by surprise. She’d been staring out at San Franciso Bay, thinking about-well she wasn’t quite sure what she was thinking of, except relief. It was over. She’d done it. The sleepness nights, the panic attacks, the endless sounds of her bitch of the mother calling her a failure rolling around in her head, they’d all been worth it. She was a Starfleet Officer now. The best of the best. It was a good feeling but not as good as the other one._

_“Come here, you big dummy!” she turned to see her friend grinning wildly, her Dress uniform gleaming in the sunshine. Catra felt her breath catch slightly as she saw her. Adora seemed to glow, her elation emanating from her. It felt comforting to look at, and as much as it made her stomach knot and her brain stop working she knew she couldn’t look away._

_“ **Ensign** Gray,” she said, mockingly._

_“ **Ensign** Weaver,” Adora said back, grinning. There was a second where they both stood there, grinning wildly before Catra felt herself (It’d be too much to say she remembered thinking about it) jump into the Blonde girl’s arms, pulling her into a tight hug._

_“We did it,” Adora whispered into her ear. Catra could tell she was crying tears of happiness even from within the bounds of the hug. She was as well. They had done it. Part of her wanted to find Weaver, wherever she was in the Galaxy, just to show her how wrong she was. Catra settled for the warmth of this hug._

_“I told you we would,” she whispered back, and Adora pulled her tighter into the embrace. Catra drank it in, the feeling of closeness, catching the smell of Adora’s hair, the grip of her hands as they held each other. Part of Catra wished they could stay like this forever, but this was a very public place. She felt Adora release her, and she turned slightly to hide how red her cheeks were. Adora wasn’t looking (thank god), but instead she scanned the crowds for a second with one hand as a visor. The other still clung to Catra’s right hand._

_“Kyle!” Adora was waving her free hand wildly. Catra saw the gangly white boy (he might be an officer like them now, but he still looked 17) try and make his way to them, holding a holocamera. “Come that a photo!” Suddenly Catra was being pulled by the blonde woman through the crowd to a spot below the bridge. “C’mon Catra, Smile!” she said, her deep blue-gray eyes filling Catra’s vision. Then she turned to Kyle, who was fumbling with his camera. “We’re Starfleet Officers now. The skies, the limit! We can do anything together.”_

**_We can do anything together._ **

“Wow,” Bow’s reaction pulled the brunette from her memory, and she shook off the myriad of feelings that had come with it with some effort.

“Yeah,” Catra said. “Class of 56. It was a good four years. Not easy, but I enjoyed it.”

“I can imagine,” Bow said with a sad smile.

“You didn’t come through the academy?”

Bow shook his head. “Glimmer and I came through the regional centre in Mystacor. It was alright, but there’s nothing like San-Fran.”

Catra nodded, “Then you two went together to the Victory and then the Renown, correct? Not bad postings. Better than trying to eke an existence out on the Tholian Border,” Catra said, stowing her bag before straightening her uniform. Bow gave her a slightly puzzled look. “I read your files on the way here from Starbase 6.”

“How’d you manage that?”

“Commodore Brightmoon…is a friend of mine.” She winced that she’d actually admitted that. “But if you tell Glimmer that I’ll bust you down to crewman and have you cleaning Jeffries’ tubes, understood?” the look of fear in his eyes was enough confirmation.

“Wait,” he said, with an odd look on his face. “If you had access to the files, then why did you ask about the crew?”

“There are a lot of things a file doesn’t tell you, Arrow Boy,” she said with a smile. “It might be able to tell me you’re a Starfleet champion archer, or that Glimmer can work a transporter like a musical instrument, but it doesn’t tell me our helmsman is a pyromaniac who's madly in love with the CMO.”

Bow gave an accepting nod, “I suppose it doesn’t.”

“Glad you understand,” she said, clapping the taller man on the shoulder. “Now, let’s see what chaos they’ve left us in the Hangar.”

Chaos might’ve been an understatement. The Hotspur’s crew had more or less dumped their cargo all across the Hangar, bay, blocking cargo lifts and Shuttles and stacking items precariously, then haphazardly shoving the ones they’d accidentally brought across back into their craft with little care for their contents. The Lieutenant in charge of loading the new equipment was still trying to work out what exactly they had, let alone have it sent to the correct department. Catra left him to his work, grabbing a few ensigns and some non-coms to organise the equipment into more manageable stacks. Their work wasn’t helped by the Hotspur’s, who kept weaving through them to grab something they’d brought by accident or dump engineering drills amongst the Soil analysis equipment. Catra was beginning to understand why Adora had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown earlier.

“Who’s in charge here!” A Tellarite yelled from across the Hangar.

Catra sighed. “That’d be me.” The Tellarite turned to her, then began to storm across the wide room, sliding past crates and containers, at one point barging his way through a shuttle to get to Catra. _Here we go then_ , she thought, her tail flicking from side to side behind her. “How can I help, Commander.”

“Where are the impulse Manifolds?”

“What?”

“The Impulse Manifolds! We sent over 25 Impluse Manifolds but you only requested 5. So where are they?”

“Bow?” she said, glancing at the Communications Officer who was hurriedly scanning through the Data padd in his hands.

“They…were never delivered.”

“Well, they’re not on the Hotspur!”

“Did you check?” Catra asked, trying to hold her anger in.

“I don’t have to! I know they’re not there!” the Hotspur officer was getting up in her face now. Tellarites always got in people's faces. It was probably impolite on Tellar not to get in people's faces.

“Listen,” she hissed, her face now mere inches from the Tellarite’s snout. “It’s not my fault that the cargo your men brought across was basically thrown out the back of a shuttle when you docked, or that your quartermasters couldn’t keep track of what was yours and what was ours. So don’t blame me because you guys can’t read your own stock lists!”

“How dare you!” the Tellarite began, but Catra cut him off

“If you’re quite finished deliberately sabotaging my efforts to organise _your_ mess, the Manifolds you’re looking for are right there,” she said, pointing to a crate a few meters from them, “So take them and get out of my hair!”. The fur on he tail stuck up its end then. The Tellarite looked at the crate, then huffed a thank you before calling three crewmen over to carry it to a shuttle.

“What. Was. What!” Bow said.

“Wha-what do you mean?” Catra said, nervously.

“You just argued with a superior officer. And won!”

“He’s a Tellarite Bow. It’s insulting to them if you don’t argue with them.” He looked unconvinced, but Catra was already moving onto the next crisis. “Bow?”

“Yes?”

“Why are there two Shuttles being welded together over there?”

“Over where?”

Catra pointed to where two standard shuttles were being put together end-to-end in a haphazard fashion, like some child's drawing.

“Oh…” Bow looked confused, then sighed. “Entrapta!” he yelled as he began to jog over.

“Yes?” a voice shouted from beneath the…whatever it was. “Oh, hi Bow! What’s wrong? Did a Nacelle fall off again, because I thought that my adjustments were enough that the odds of a structural failure had only fallen to-“

“No! It’s not that!” Bow said hurriedly, jogging over to the two feet that stuck out from underneath the shuttle. “We have work to do!” he hissed, glancing urgently at the Brunette Caitian, who merely tapped her foot impatiently.

“What work?” Entrapta said, rolling herself out from underneath the ship. Catra snorted. The Engineer hadn’t changed a bit since they’d last met. Clad in oil-stained red Starfleet Overalls and an antique welding mask, her long hair tied into two long tails that came down as far as her legs, Entrapta was still looked as downright insane as she had when Catra had found her using Starbase 6's power relays to run an experimental fusion reactor in the Waste Disposal center. To say that she and Catra bonded- well they less bonded than a combination of Scorpia's encouragement and the crazy woman's inability to take no for an answer wore Catra down enough that she considered Entrapta something close to a friend. The Engineer now lifted her mask and peered at Bow in confusion for a second, before- “Oh! The new Impulse engine parts! That work! Don’t worry, I’ll get that done when I’ve connected this capacitor-“

“Entrapta,” Catra said deliberately. The Engineered looked at her and her eyes lit up.

“Catra! I didn’t know you were here? What brings you to my ship! She's **amazing** , isn't she?”

“Your-“ Catra resisted the urge to rant. “I’m the new First Officer. Y’know, you’re superior.”

“Oh! That’s nice!” Entrapta said, dropping her mask again and crawling back under the Shuttle, clicking on her recording device. " _Alliance_ log, Day 204 part 3. It turns out that my former Lab partner Catra has come to join us! This is-"

“Entrapta,” Catra said firmly.

“Yes?” the Engineer slid back out from under the Shuttle-thing.

“Remember the deal we had on the Starbase?”

“That if I got all my official work done early, I could do whatever I wanted with the rest of my time?"

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand,” Entrapta said, looking at the Caitian curiously.

Catra rolled her eyes. “Get the stores for Engineering sorted and you can mess around with the Shuttles as much as you want.” The Engineer looked cautiously between her and the Shuttle, weighing her options. “I’ll get Scorpia to make those tiny muffins as well.” Entrapta’s eyes lit up suddenly.

“Scorpia’s here! With Tiny Food!” She had now abandoned the shuttle and was circling Catra with glee in her eyes. “The food dispensers on these ships won’t get anything the right size, always too tiny or too large, but when I suggested to the last XO that I should be allowed to reprogram them he refused! I mean my calculations did show a 20% chance that I might overload the power system but I could have managed that. But now I don’t! Does Scorpia have tiny food waiting? Can I have it?”

“At some point,” Catra said, “but you won’t get any until this Hangar’s clear. Understood?” Entrapta was already hassling some crewmen to move equipment onto the cargo elevators before she’d even finished talking. _Ah, victory,_ she thought, turning to Bow, who was currently looking at her with a rather disturbing look of doe-eyed admiration.

“That. Was. Amazing!” he said, picking her up in a bear hug. Catra thought about reprimanding him for it, but- another time, maybe. “How did you do that?”

Catra jerked a thumb at the Engineer, who was currently lifting a crate of Stem Bolts with he prehensile hair while running across the deck- “The only motivator that crazy woman has is ‘Science’ and Tiny food. It’s not exactly rocket science Arrow Boy.”

“Still!” he said, gleaming. She rolled her eyes.

“C’mon. This shouldn’t take too long now, should it.”

****

**Stardate 2515.7. 1930 Hours Ship Time.**

Adora was still buried underneath paperwork when Catra reported back in. The Captain looked surprised to see her, though, blinking for a second before correcting herself and locking Catra in a commanding stare. her hand was still fiddling with her right cuff, though. _She's still as nervous as I am,_ the Caitian thought.

“All equipment has been stowed and secured sir,” Catra said, picking the same spot on the wall as before. “Entr-the Chief Engineer has reported that we’ll ready to depart by 8:00 hours tomorrow.”

Adora sighed in relief, flopping herself back in the chair. “How did you manage that?”

“Sir?”

“How did you manage to get Entrapta to _actually_ do her work?” Adora huffed. “I’m surprised she hasn’t rigged the Warp Drive to tap dance or something but this point.”

“Tiny food, sir.”

Adora looked at Catra for a second. “Tiny food?”

“Yes sir.”

“As in miniaturised food? Like, tiny burgers and cupcakes.”

Catra nodded.

“So instead of filing 100 reprimands and threatening to discharge her, I could’ve just had the food dispenser make tiny Calzones or something?”

Catra shrugged. “Tacos would probably be a better choice, sir.”

“You’re joking,” Adora said, quirking an eyebrow upwards. There was a second of silence, then both women burst out laughing. Adora was giggling maniacally, and Catra couldn’t help but cackle loudly, tears or laughter rolling down her cheeks. “That’s-that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Adora said, propping herself up on the desk.”

“If it’s stupid but it works sir, it isn’t stupid,” Catra said with a smile. For a second, she saw the familiar shine in Adora’s eyes – recognition, a connection, but then it was gone again between the well learnt, distant warmth that everyone in command learns to emanate. _Damn,_ she thought.

“We’ll be departing for the Eternia sector in the morning,” She said, without a hint of familiarity. “You’ll be in command for the departure. I’d like you to take her out manually, Commander. Will that be a problem?”

“No, sir!” Catra said. The feeling of coldness compared to the laughter of mere minutes ago felt like Whiplash, and her tail whipped around behind her, betraying her agitation.

“Something to say?” Catra saw the tedious look in Adora’s eye. _Shit_ , she thought. She considered getting this all over with now. _No,_ she thought, _don’t give her the satisfaction. If she doesn’t want us to act like normal people then I’m ok with that_.

“Nothing at all,” she said, latching onto that same spot on the wall.

“Spit it out Commander,” Adora said. _Fine, have it your way._

“Permission to speak freely?” Catra said, glancing down from the spot on the wall.

Adora snorted. “Since when have you needed permission?”

“Sir?”

“Permission granted.”

“When are you going to stop pretending you don’t know me, Adora?” Catra's tail swished behind her in agitation. “Why are you- why are you hiding behind rank and regulation? Are you that keen to keep me out of your life?”

“I’m trying to command a ship here _Catra_ ,” Adora shot back bitterly, “I don’t have time to dwell on the past. You’re just another part of the crew now, and I’ll treat you the same way I treat them.”

“Bullshit,” Catra spat out before she could catch herself.

“You’re out of line, Commander,” Adora said, raising her voice.

“So are you!” Catra said, “You can’t act like you’re better than me just because you’ve got a couple of tabs on your sleeves and a nice little office. We're going to have to work together properly and you're not even trying!”

“That’s enough.”

“You can’t just shut me down like that! We could talk before! What the hell is this!“

“I said **that’s enough!** ” Adora yelled, stunning Catra into silence, her ears dropping and her tail curling in reaction to the sudden outburst. “I don’t know why you’re here or what complete failure of Starfleet bureaucracy meant that we’re back on the same ship, but I don’t **care** about that past. We have a job to do here, and we’re going to do it well, and I don’t want **you** -“ she jabbed a finger into Catra’s chest –“messing it up because you think you’re smarter than the rest of us, or because you think you can get away with it because you know me.”

“I don’t know you anymore, you've made that very clear.” Catra earned a flicker of shock and sadness from Adora that quickly flitted away. “Maybe I did, but-“

“Whatever previous relationship we had is over now, Commander. “ Catra felt her earns burn slightly at the r-word. “I-“ Adora stepped away from her, and looked at the large screen on the wall instead. Catra watched her right-hand fiddle with the cuff for a second, then her fist clenched. “We’re going to be stuck together for a good while now, so either get with the program or get out of here.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Catra said, bitterly. “It was you who left me, anyway.” Part of Catra hoped Adora would take the bait. She saw the Blonde woman’s fists ball for a second, but then her palms opened, and she turned around. She looked- well she looked defeated, for a start, but beyond the sadness, in her eyes (Catra had to catch herself from staring into the deep blue-grey Iris’s for too long) she couldn’t read the other girl’s emotional state at all – I mean the sadness was a giveaway that Catra’s jab had hit home, but apart from that, she had _no_ idea.

“We’ll depart at 9:30 hours tomorrow. I except a smooth departure from the Starbase, understood?” Catra nodded, accepting that they had returned to the coldness of Captain Grey over the warmth of Adora.

“Yes sir.” She said, eyes back on her wall spot.

“Dismissed.” The Captain said quietly.

***

After Catra left, it took a lot of effort on Adora’s part not to crumple herself against a wall and cry. _I’m the Captain,_ she told herself as she felt her body shake, _I don’t break down, I don’t let myself get taken over by my fears and emotions, and by how goddamn pretty her eyes still are. 168 people here’s lives lie in my hands and if I can’t handle my oldest friend being back here yelling at me then how can I look after them?”_ she forced herself to sit back down and picked up one of the data slates in front of her, but all she could see was the hurt in her fr- _former_ friend’s eyes when she’d spoken to her. _I was too strong too-Captain like,_ she thought, but then- _that’s because I am the Captain. I can’t let how I feel about this control me! There are lines here and she crossed them. I can’t let my feelings change that fact._ She felt herself slipping from the chair and grasped the table to steady herself. _I have to remain above that,_ she told herself.

_But you can’t just bottle it all up?_

_Watch me,_ she thought, gripping the table tightly and forcing herself to read the list of convoys they would be looking after in the next few weeks. It didn’t work. Her head was still full of the bitterness in Catra’s voice, the look of disappointment in her blue and gold eyes, her tail swishing in anger. It made her feel nauseous- even now, making Catra mad made her feel like she’d kicked a puppy. She groaned out loud.

“Adora?” the blonde woman nearly fell out of her chair at the sudden voice. A tall body stood in the doorway, holding a tray of food, with a nervous smile on his face.

“Hi, Bow,” she said with a sad smile.

“Glimmer said you hadn’t eaten.”

“I-I wasn’t hungry.” Bow rolled her eyes, shoving the data slates aside and putting the tray down.

“Eat the damn chicken Sandwich Captain,” he said with a devious smile. Adora looked up at her for a second. “Eat!” she insisted. The blonde woman sighed and picked up the Sandwich and began to eat. _God, was I this hungry?_ She thought as she devoured it while the Communications Officer watched her. Adora recognized the look on her eyes. _Oh brother._

“Just say it, Bow.”

“I saw Catra leave.”

Adora groaned. “Did you hear the yelling as well?” He nodded reluctantly. “God! Who made these bulkheads so thin?” she wailed, hiding her head behind her arms. She heard Bow step around the table and then felt his arms hug her tightly.

“It’s alright Adora,” Bow said softly.

“Is it?” Adora asked.

“Listen, I know you won’t-“he began,

“Can’t,” Adora corrected,

“Can’t tell us what she did,” he continued, “but if it does this to you when you see her, why are you trying to cope with it?”

“What do you mean,'cope with it'?”

“What I mean is,” he said, straightening up and boosting himself to sit on the conference room desk, “why are you trying to just act like she’s just some random officer as opposed to, y’know…” Bow trailed off. “your former friend?” he said, hesitantly.

Adora raised an eyebrow. “You mean the former friend I’ve known since I was 8, survived several traumatic experiences with, grew up with, attended and graduated Starfleet Academy with, served alongside for years whose friendship I may or may not have thrown away for reasons which I can’t tell you because _technically_ they’ll be classified until the end of the century, who I still sometimes lie awake and think about at 1 or 2 in the morning because I’m trying to figure out if there was a way to come out of that that didn’t destroy one of us or at the very least hurt both of us?” she realized her hands were gripping the chair so hard her knuckles had gone white. Releasing her grip, she saw the wide-eyed, completely overwhelmed look in Bow’s eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have dumped that on you,” she said sheepishly. There were a few other feelings she'd left off the listen but-maybe another time.

“I’ll be alright,” he said warmly. “But yeah, that’s-“ he rubbed the back of his head, “that’s a lot.”

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“But you can’t let that define how you act now,” he said gently.

“I’m not!” Adora insisted, meeting bows eye level. “I’m just trying to remain distant. In command. Clarify that I’m the superior officer here, and that’s how it’s gonna stay.”

Bow raised an eyebrow. “Did Glimmer tell you that the best way to handle this?”

“Jim Kirk, actually.” Bow didn’t look convinced. “But yeah, mainly Glimmer.”

“Glimmer’s…well, Glimmer is Glimmer,” he said with a chuckle. “She loves you a lot, and she’d throw herself in front of a Klingon Battlegroup to protect you. But that means she sees everything that has ever hurt you as a threat. She’s overprotective like that. You know she’ll do anything for her friends. And if Catra’s hurt you, she wants to make sure you’re never hurt back.”

“What does Glimmer’s tendencies towards being a mother hen have to do with Catra,” Adora asked, already sort of knowing the answer.

Bow gave her a look. “She thinks if you act like you don’t know Catra, Catra can’t get under your skin.”

“She’s already under my skin though,” Adora hissed.

“But it’ll be worse if you don’t let her know you that you-“ Bow paused, clearly thinking about how to say the next bit.

Adora gave him a tedious look. “That I don’t hate her guts?"

"Do you?"

"Glimmer thinks I do."

"That's not what I asked."

"I...don't _think_ I hate her. I think she might hate me."

Bow looked doubtful but moved past it as soon as Adora spotted it. “As far as I can tell Catra definitely thinks you hate her.” Adora groaned. "You should probably fix that."

“But how can I do that, and still maintain a professional relationship?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I’m the Captain of this ship. I have a duty. I have a job to do, and over 150 people are relying on me doing that job properly. And I can’t do that job if I’ve got a distraction like- like her on my ship.” She cringed immediately, then saw the devious smirk on the Tall man’s face. “Shut up,” she said. He threw his hands up in surrender.

“Alright!” 

“You think I’m wrong?” she shot at him.

“I think you can’t do your job properly if you don’t have a healthy working relationship with your First Officer,” he said warmly, but authoritatively. “You can’t get that by just treating them like any other crewman. They’re you’re sounding board, your second thought, you’re conscience on the bridge. You need them.”

“God, Catra as my conscience sounds like a nightmare.”

“It’ll only be a nightmare if you two are at each other’s throats the whole time,” Bow said, “And if you do that I’ll get Mermista to confine you to quarters on medical grounds.”

“You’d never,” Adora said with a playful shove.

“I’ve done it before,” he said with a shove back. Adora grinned at him. Sometimes she questioned whether having her two best friends on her command staff, but ever since her first lonely days on the Renown they had been nothing but supportive, earnest and caring. They’d brought her out of a shell she’d hidden in after the Dryl Incident, reminded her that there was a world beyond that disaster-beyond Catra. Now she couldn’t imagine being on a starship without them.

“Thank you Bow,” she said earnestly.

“No problem, Captain,” he said, standing back up. “Listen, I have to head back to the bridge, but if you need anything?”

“I’ll buzz you, I promise.”

“Thank you,” he said, turning to leave. He stopped at the door for a second. “And Adora?”

“Yes?”

“Trust her, and she’ll trust you.” He said, before passing through the automatic door and into the corridor.

Adora sighed. _Just trust her,_ she thought despondently. _Piece of Cake._


	4. Raised Shields

“Ad-The Captain wants _you_ to command our departure?” Glimmer peered at the Caitian suspiciously from the Captain’s chair.

Catra rolled her eyes. “Yes, she does.”

“And she said she wanted it done manually.”

“Yes sir,”

“Are you sure that’s what the Captain said?”

“I am, Lieutenant Brightmoon.”

“As in, no guidance, helm adjustments, risk crashing into another starship manually?”

“I believe that’s how it works.”

“And that’s what she wants _you_ to do.” Glimmer said pointedly. "Right now."

“Yes.”

"On this ship."

"That's correct."

“Are you sure?” the pink-haired officer seemed convinced of some plot or other going on.

“Yes, I am,” Catra hissed. “You can ask her if you, _Lieutenant,_ but we do have to depart at some point in the next ten minutes so if you’d like to explain to the Dockmaster why we’re still here when the _Yamato_ turns up you can stay in the chair. Otherwise, can I get on with my job please?” The Science Officer stared defiantly at her for a final second, then stood up and walked to the science station, glaring at Catra as she did so. Catra sighed, then looked at the vacant chair.

Catra had never sat in the Captain’s chair on a starship before. She had sat in one in simulators, but that’s different. Actually sitting in the chair was another thing completely. It was a humble-looking thing to be honest - an angular grey body with wood trimming, black cushioning, and an array of buttons on each side – but it also carried immense power, and an immense burden even for a simple operation such as departing a Starbase. Catra let go of a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding, steadied herself, and sat in the chair.

It was- well it was comfortable, which Catra reminded herself wasn’t too surprising. She ran her hands along the wood trimming and across the buttons, then looked up. Most of the bridge crew was making the odd furtive glance at her from their workstations. Bow was giving her a supportive grin in the reflection of the screen in front of him. Glimmer sat at her duty station staring straight at Catra with her arms crossed. Catra looked back, and with a smirk crossed her legs. “Mr Sherwood,” she said without breaking eye contact with Glimmer, “Signal the Dockmaster that we’re ready to depart, and inform them we’ll be conducting a manual departure.”

“Aye sir,” he said, sounding elated for some reason. Glimmer continued to glower at her.

“Haven’t you got work to do, Lieutenant Sparkles?” Catra said, grinning. Bow snorted, attracting a severe look from Glimmer. “Well?” Catra continued, teasing.

“Yes sir,” Glimmer said, shooting the Caitian a final death stare before turning back to her console. Catra continued to look at her for a second, before turning back to look out of the bridge viewscreen.

“Dockmaster has cleared us for departure, sir,” Bow said from behind her.

“Very Good,” Catra said, “let’s get underway then.”

She heard the turbolift doors behind her open, and she twisted to see Adora standing behind her on the main deck. She looked around the room, then to Catra, who felt her heart drop. _Sparkles, I swear to god if you-_

“Carry on, Commander,” she said, strolling past the captain’s chair to stand beside the Helm position, facing away from Catra.

Catra let out a silent sigh of relief. _Alright then,_ she thought. “Lieutenant Hawk, isn’t it?” she said to the mustached Helmsman, who turned around with a flourish of his arm.

“Mr. Seahawk, at your service, sir!” he said. Catra rolled her eyes. _Oh for the love of God._

“Mr. Hawk, take us out, One-quarter Impluse speed, heading oh-one-four mark oh-one-five.” She saw his eyes light up for a second.

“Commander!” Glimmer’s voice whined from her right. “Regulations state that only maneuvering thrusters can be used within Starbase parking orbit.” Catra glanced at Adora, who made no move to intercede.

“I’m aware of the regulations, Sparkles,” she said with a smirk. “One-quarter Impulse, Mr Hawk.”

“But-“Glimmer whined. _Who whines on the bridge of a starship?_

“Aye-Aye sir!” the helmsman said. Catra felt the hum of the engines pick up as they began to move out of their parking position. She watched the screen and the sensors on Seahawk’s console carefully, aware that the regulations for thrusters only existed for reason. _Still, nothing like a little danger to get the day started_.

“Adjust course to two-oh-one mark zero,” she called, watching the ships around them shift slightly on the screen. “Now by oh-oh-three,” she called again, counting the seconds it took for Seahawk’s adjusts to change the ships’s heading.

“Mr. Hawk,” Adora said without looking back, “Make sure to keep your distance, we’re only 6 kilometers from the Enterprise-“

“Five-“ the navigator corrected.

“Mr. Hawk change course to three-oh-three mark two. Quickly, if you please,” Catra hissed. Was she trying to impress Adora? Probably. Was this moron messing it up? Definitely.

“Changing course sir!” Seahawk said hurriedly, and thankfully the silver Hull to the right of the viewscreen receded from view.

“Message from the Enterprise, Captain,” Bow said. “She says ‘to mind the paintwork’.” Adora chuckled. Catra rolled her eyes but felt her cheeks redden.

“Tell Enterprise to blame Commander Weaver,” Adora said, her eyes still on the viewscreen. “She’s a little rusty with Starship maneuvers.” Catra tried not to notice the smirk on either Glimmer or Bow’s faces at that. 

“We’re clear of the Starbase sir,” the Navigator said. Catra nodded, standing up from the chair.

“Set course for the Eternia Sector, Warp Factor 4.”

“Aye sir,” the helmsman said, pressing each button with a flourish.

“And Seahawk?”

“Yes sir?”

“Try to get us there without setting the ship on fire,” Catra snarked, earning a snort from Adora.

“Aye Aye, Sir!” he said with a grin.

Catra smiled. “Engage.” She felt the hum of the engines kick into a new level, then the stars began to stretch on the viewscreen, and then in a flash, they were at warp and the stars were speeding past them. _That wasn’t too bad, was it,_ she thought to herself. She grasped the armrests of the Captain's chair, feeling the energy of the Warp reactor vibrate through the deck plating. It was a brilliant feeling really, and she hadn't realised how much she'd missed it hidden away on the Starbase for so long. Hearing steps to her left, she looked around and saw Adora standing by the Command Chair. Catra went to jump up from the chair but Adora dismissed her with a wave.

“No, please,” Adora said with a light smile. “I’ve still got paperwork to finish. You have the bridge commander. I’ll relieve you at-“ she glanced down at the ship’s chronometer –“1300 hours.”

“Yes sir,” Catra said, relaxing into the seat again. The blonde woman nodded and stepped up towards the turbo-lift.

“And Commander?”

Catra turned in the chair to face her. “Yes sir?”

Adora flashed her another quick smile. “Welcome to the Alliance.”

***

**_One Month Later_ : Stardate 4534.4**

“Klingon Cruiser still closing, sir!” Seahawk said, not even trying not to hide his panic.

Catra gripped the arms of the command chair. _This isn’t going well_. Twelve minutes into the attack and the _Alliance_ had taken enough hits to blow out two shield generators and disable the Warp Drive, in exchange for very little Damage inflicted on the D6 Battlecruiser that circled them menacingly. The Torpedo tubes were offline, and fires were spreading below decks fast. If the Klingosn got another clean hit in then they'd be space dust. “Back us off, full reverse! Entrapta, what’s the status of the number two shield?”

 ** _“Errr-“_** there was a squawking sound from the speakers, then – **“I’ve nearly got it-“**

 **“** She’s firing!” The viewscreen light up with a red flash, then the whole bridge shuddered with the impact. "Glancing hit - damaged to the Number 1 shield sir. It's down to 50 percent."

 **“Ok, maybe not got it. Give me two minutes!”** the Engineer sounded far too excited.

“We don’t have two minutes, get it done now!” Catra punched the close channel button and spun in the chair. “Bow, Get the damage control parties moving, now!”

“I-“the communication officer was sweating under the stress, his eyes wide with muted panic. “I’m on it, sir.”

“Get on it _faster_!” Catra said. “Phasers one and two, fire for full effect!” Lonnie LaForge, the relief navigator (who, just as she had been back at the Academy, was the only person in the room who seemed to actually seemed to be in control.) cooly pressed the switches, ignorant of the panic in Seahawk’s eyes. Two azure blue beams lanced out from the bottom of the Viewscreen, one catching the port nacelle of the Battlecruiser as it took evasive action. _Damn you Phaser control,_ Catra cursed.

“Torpedoes?”

“Damage Control can’t get them online yet,” Bow yelled.

“If they don’t, they’ll be dead in a few minutes!” Catra yelled back, her eye still on the maneuvering Klingon ship.

“She’s making another run!” The Helmsman yelled. On the viewscreen, the menacing shape of the Battlecruiser turned towards them, it's forward torpedo laucher beginning to glow.

 _Shit._ “She’s going for the number 2 shield. Seahawk, don’t let them slip under us!”

“Trying, sir!” His hands moved across the console in a panic, Catra trying to ignore the flustered movements. _Not fast enough dammit, not fast enough!_ The Alliance began to pull upwards and to the right of the Klingon ship, but she was moving faster.

“Glimmer, are their shields still under 50 percent?” The pink-haired officer jumped at the barking command, looking up from her viewscreen with a panic.

“I-er”

“Glimmer!”

“I- yes, they’re at 35 percent!”

Catra spun back to the front. “Target their-“

“She’s firing again!” The viewscreen was lit up red, then the was an almighty crash and-

 **“Simulation ended,”** called the ship’s computer in its’ level tone. The Klingon ship faded from the Viewscreen, and after a second the warning lights on the bridge consoles disappeared, returning to their normal standby settings.

Glimmer groaned. “Thanks **again** , Seahawk.”

“Keep it to yourself Lieutenant,” Catra snapped. “If you hadn’t been so busy watching your colleagues, you might’ve been able to do your job properly.”

“What job?” she shot back. “I’m a science officer, not a redshirt.”

“You have access to one of the most powerful sets of sensors on this ship, Lieutenant. Being able to see everything about your enemy is vital to winning, and you should know that. Everyone has a role to play on this bridge in combat.”

Catra had not intended this drill to end with a speech, but once again she was giving them all a dressing down, and one they deserved. She turned back to the communications panel on the chair and opened a channel to the whole ship. “This is the sixth time we’ve run surprise drills and you people are just not getting it.” She turned to the Helmsman, who looked like he was about to cry. “Mr Hawk, you need to stop flying the Alliance like he’s a shuttlecraft. You must think two, three steps ahead instead of just throwing her around like a worker bee and expecting her to co-operate. Entrapta – you have _dozens_ of qualified Starfleet engineers down there working for you. You can’t do every job yourself.”

 **“But they don’t work how I want them to!”** she whined.

“Teach them to, then.” Catra turned to sweep the entire bridge crew, who were watching her with weary eyes. (Except Glimmer, who was just glowering at her. Or Seahawk, who was holding his tears in. And Lonnie, who looked a bit bored.) She thought about running it again, but she felt her own weariness rush over her for a second. She sighed.

“Listen. You are all exceptional officers in your own rights. but when it comes down to a combat situation you are just not clicking together. There is too much improvising and muddling through on this bridge where it should be clockwork. This was an improvement for last time- “Bow let about a sigh of relief that he didn’t think anyone heard – “so be glad of that. I want reports from department heads by 1600. Return to standard duties.” She clicked the channel closed, and ran her palm over her head, ignoring the low murmurs as the bridge crew huddled in groups to talk about- well, presumably to talk about her. She thought about calling Glimmer out for it (she kept pointing at her – not even trying to hide it) when the turbolift doors opened behind her.

“Captain on the Bridge!” Bow said with a squeak. Catra stood up from the chair to see Adora standing by the Turbolift with a Data slate in hand while the next watch took their positions.

“Anything to report? Apart from the result of the drill, Commander.” She said without looking up.

“The _Sultan_ and the _Accra_ are still on course for Sherman’s planet. They passed out of our sensor range at 1030 hours. Astrobiology says they’ll have the results from those tests on those plants before the end of the day, and Dr. Mermista says that Ensign Carter should be out of surgery by-“ Catra checked the chronometer, noting that Adora had still not made any eye contact with her. “half an hour ago.”

“Very good,” The Captain said, stepping past Catra and sitting in the command chair. “I have the bridge, commander.” Adora stared past her towards the viewscreen with much deliberate effort. Catra stared at her for a fleeting second, then nodded, then filed into the turbo-lift. She’d given up on getting anything more from the Captain than regulation formalities after about a week of stilted small talk. She’d noticed the cracks in Adora’s shield- the small smiles, the nervous looks when Catra was on the bridge alongside her, the way she’d do an entire hour-long briefing and only lose her train of thought when she looked at Catra or when Catra said something. Catra thought about doing something about it, but instead, she had just thrown herself into trying to whip the crew into shape. _God, they need it_ , she thought, walking into the lift while thinking about the list of things that were just not up to scratch on this ship. The combat drills were one thing, but it was increasingly clear that Adora ran a very informal crew. Everything worked and everyone got their job done, but it was an exercise in organized chaos as opposed to an efficient Starship.

It wasn’t that the crew was incompetent, but they were just very _relaxed_ about their level of unpreparedness for danger. There had been some improvements since the first _disaster_ of a drill (the Klingon Cruisier had blown the _Alliance_ to pieces before the crew had even come to Battlestations, that’s how bad it had been) but they were still a good way from standing up to a real enemy. They relied too much on improvisation, and it could get them all killed. Catra knew there a long hill to climb to get this right, but right now she just needed to eat. She sighed and grabbed the lift controls.

“Deck 6.” She said. Someone snorted in the left, and she whipped round to see Glimmer and Bow standing awkwardly on the other side of the lift.

“Catra.” Glimmer said, not even bothering to respect rank. The other thing that was beginning to grow on her (whether she liked it or not) was the informality on the ship. People only ever called Catra ‘Commander Weaver’ if they didn’t know her now. She didn’t mind not being associated with _her_ surname, but it was still grating. However, she didn’t mind the chance to use it to her own advantage

“Sparkles,” she shot back, earning a look of disgust from the Science Officer. They both glowered at each other, waiting for someone to open up the latest barrage in a month-long run of sniping and passive-aggression that Catra seemed to only be winning because if Glimmer pushed it too far she risked a reprimand. It was-

Well, Catra would not exactly call it fun, but it was a pastime of sorts.

“So….” Bow said, in deliberate ignorance of the tension in the air. “On the way to the mess?”

“It’s lunchtime, isn’t it?” Catra snarked. “Where else would I be going?”

“Well yeah, I suppose, but we never see you in the mess though.” He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing slightly with embarrassment.

Arrow Boy did have a point. Since her first day, Catra had avoided spending much time in the ship’s communal areas, deigning only to slip into the mess hall to grab her meals from the food dispensers and scurry back to her quarters (or Scorpia’s if she was dragged there). It wasn’t that she was hiding – Catra didn’t hide from anyone, she told herself every time she ate in the dim light of her empty room – but there were risks with being around the crew. They were clearly aware that she and Captain had a history of some kind, but frankly, she wasn’t going to give away any more gossip by making idle chit chat in the mess.

“…would you like to eat with us? Mermista and Perfuma usually eat around this time, so it’ll be like a Senior Staff get together!” he said, with enthusiasm, unaware of the look of absolute horror on Sparkle’s face. The short girl looked apoplectic.

“Bow!” she hissed.

“What?”

“You can’t-“ Glimmer looked fiercely at Catra. “She can’t come to lunch?”

Bow looked a little hurt “Why?”

“Yeah, Sparkles, why not?”

“Well-“she huffed, “It’s not like you hang around in the mess anyway. It’d cramp your style to be seen with us wouldn’t it.”

 _Oh, I see how it is._ “I think I’ll take that offer, Mr. Sherwood,” Catra said, beaming at him while Glimmer groaned.

 _This will be fun,_ Catra thought.

***

“Wildcat!” Scorpia called as from beside Perfuma, waving a pincer in the air. _Oh, joy,_ Catra thought, as every head in the room swivelled to look at the first officer standing by the food dispensers between bow and Glimmer. The Security chief kept waving from her table, where she sat with Perfuma (one of the relief navigators, whose main duties were as the ship’s Botanist) and Dr. Mermista, who merely gave her a raised eyebrow before going back to her food. Catra looked down at the floor for a second, willing it to swallow her up, but she was jostled forward by Bow towards the table on the other side of the room. Ignoring the curious looks of the crew, Catra followed his lead and sat down at the table, eyeing Scorpia with a looked of malice that the taller woman absolutely did not pick up on. “I’ve not seen you eat in here before! You hanging with all of us now? That’s awesome!”

“Is it?” Glimmer said as she sat down next to Bow. Catra ignored it.

“I wanted a change of pace.”

“Well, we can definitely provide a different energy to that of the bridge,” Perfuma said, beaming at Catra. It was sort of unnerving. Catra tried not to make eye contact with her. The tall blonde woman was nice – very nice – perhaps too nice for Catra’s liking, but there was little dangerous about her, and the Caitian was pretty sure she’d come round to Perfuma at some point. Scorpia, as one could tell from the way that she beamed at the Botanist, was already besotten, but that was beside the point. “It’s good to let go of your duties and relax for a while.”

“S-sure,” she said, poking the chicken salad in front of her. Perfuma hummed, and Catra took that as an accepting response. Glimmer still glared at her. Bow glanced at his friend, then back to Catra nervously.

“So, you two have been here a month now,” Bow said to Scorpia and Catra. “What do you think of our humble ship?”

“She’s amazing!” Scorpia gushed. “I’ve never really served on a Starship- well only for weeks at a time, I mainly worked planetside – so everything about this is new to me and I love it! There’s so much going on, and everyone’s so friendly and you guys have all been so great!” Bow beamed at the answer, then turned to Catra.

She shrugged. “I like it here. Different to Starbase.”

“How so?” Perfuma asked sweetly.

“Less coming and going. It’s nice to get to work without someone who isn’t about to head off somewhere else in a week.” She picked at the chicken in front of her with muted disgust. “Then again, the food was better.”

“You should use the mess Kitchen then,” Bow suggested.

“We have a kitchen?”

Bow nodded eagerly. “We converted a storeroom on Deck 5 a few months ago. it’s not large, but we have fresh food from the Arboretum and what we gather during shore leave and Resupply.”

“It’s really nice Catra!” Scorpia added. “Perfuma showed me it all when I first arrived! They’ve got a huge range of vegetables and-“

“Alright, I get it, I’ll use the kitchen,” Catra said with mock agitation that only Scorpia seemed to pick up on. “Fresh food does sound pretty good every once in a while, though it doesn’t exactly sound like regulation usage of space.”

“Well-“

“I’m messing with you,” Catra said, and Bow chuckled nervously. “Do I look like I care that much about regulation?”

“No, that’s true.”

“I don’t have the energy to be high and mighty when I’m at lunch,” she said, shoveling the chicken into her mouth to avoid tasting it. “I barely want to think about work, let alone talk about it.”

“Thank god,” said Perfuma, with a lot more frustration than Catra expected. “That’s so much better than when Adora comes down here, all she talks about is work.”

Mermista rolled her eyes. “Ugh, when has that _ever_ happened.” Catra raised an eyebrow.

“Adora doesn’t eat in the mess room, really,” Bow sounded a bit concerned.

“Ugh, she doesn’t eat at all,” Mermista popped a fry in her mouth in disgust. “I’d put her on report, but she’s learned to stay away from sickbay so I can’t actually put anything on record.” Catra liked the Doctor, even if she didn’t think the doctor liked her back. When she had gone to get her Physical done, the Blue-haired woman had merely looked Catra up and down before saying “You’re good,” and sending her on her way. (She had then tricked Catra into getting a proper examination a week later, but Catra admired the move.)

“Huh.” Catra filed that information away. “So, she hasn’t changed then,” she noted, under her breath. Mermista crooked an eyebrow at her. “When Adora was stressed at the Academy, she’d do as much work as possible to cope with it instead of socializing, eating or, ya know, going outside.”

“What you mean, at the Academy?” Perfuma asked sweetly. _Dammit,_ Catra cringed.

“You knew the Captain then?” Scorpia looked shocked. “You never mentioned that back on the Starbase.”

 _Kill me,_ Catra thought. “It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Oh, really?” Glimmer didn’t look up from her food, but she didn’t need to show Catra how unimpressed she was. “Or did you just not want anyone to know?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno, _Commander,_ ” Sparkles spat.

“It’s not exactly top-secret knowledge is it?” Catra shoved some more food into her mouth, ending the conversation by depriving Glimmer of anyone to argue with. The Pink haired officer glowered at her for a second, then leaned back and sipped her Coffee. The table slipped into an awkward silence, and Catra wondered if she could take this opportunity to slip out and hide in her quarters for a bit before she had to go back to duty.

“Well, I certainly didn’t know,” Perfuma said.

“Me neither!” Scorpia added.

“Well,” Catra said, running out of food to shovel into her mouth. “We were roommates at the academy. And we sort of knew each other before that.” Catra winced at her own words. _Sort of? What does sort of mean you moron? You grew up with her for fucks' sake._

“I didn’t know you and Adora were, like, friends,” Mermista said, quirking an eyebrow at her. “She’s not exactly all buddy-buddy with you is she.”

Catra grimaced. “It’s been a long time since the academy,” she said, not looking up from her empty plate. “Things are different. People change.”

“Do they now,” Glimmer was still glaring at her. “I find that people only change when something happens to them.” Catra looked up into Sparkle’s steely gaze.

 _What’s your deal,_ Catra wondered. _I mean are you just being protective because you’re Adora’s friend, or do you know what happened?_

_Or are you just an asshole who’s already made every assumption about me possible?_

There was a heavy silence at the table, punctured only by background conversation and the sound of Glimmer rapping her fingers impatiently on the table. Bow glanced from her to Catra (neither of them had stopped glaring at each other yet), with a look of panic in his eyes. “So….those drills, huh?” he said, his voice breaking.

Mermista snorted. “Are you, like, gonna give these guys a break at any point?”

“Eventually,” Catra shot back. “When I’m confident they’re not gonna get us all killed.”

“Are they ever gonna be good enough though,” she said, half-seriously. “I mean, you guys are like, my friends and all, but you’re the **worst** at combat drills.” Bow went red, and Glimmer was now splitting her fury between the Doctor and Catra. “Come on Glimmer, I’ve seen you on the simulators.”

Perfuma gave Catra a look that seemed closer to endearment than earnestness. “Pushing everyone so hard so early on is one way to make your mark on the ship, and it takes some dedication.”

“I’m riding the crew hard, I know that” Catra replied evenly.

Mermista rolled her eyes. “Dude, you brought Seahawk to tears, I have to respect that.”

“Aren’t you two a thing?” Bow asked. Mermista groaned.

“Ughhhh, what’s he saying now?”

“Nothing!” Bow said. “Not to me at least!”

“Still. Tears on the bridge? That’s one helluva move there,” Mermista said, still not actively betraying any emotion but boredom. Glimmer, however, leaned forward across the table with something a bit less neutral clear in her voice.

“Did you have to bring him to tears though, or were you just doing it for fun or something?”

Catra looked up at her, seeing the fight in Glimmer’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Is there a reason for us to do all these drills, or are you just messing with us to show us who’s boss?”

_Ah, so you are just an asshole then._

“I’m doing the drills because you’re not ready for combat,” Catra didn’t look up from her lunch, but she saw Scorpia give Glimmer a _cool it_ look from the corner of her eye.

“Oh really? We’ve seen action on this ship. More than you’ve seen sitting on your ass in a Starbase for the last six years buttering up Ambassadors and Admirals. And what action you have seen seems to involve firing on your own side more that any hostiles.”

 _Definitely just an asshole then_.

“Woah, there Glimmer, that’s not really necessary,” Bow put a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder, “Catra knows what she’s doing.”

“Does she now? Because Captain Gray-“ Glimmer pushed the formality of Adora’s titled into Catra’s face- “says we’re up to standard. It’s just you saying we’re shit at this.”

“I never said that,” Catra met her glare with neutral eyes.

“We’ve been out here keeping the peace on our own here. You don’t get to turn up and push us around just because you and the Captain have _history_.”

 _Oh, so she does know then. Great._ Glimmer was clearly out for a fight here. Behind her, Catra could hear the background conversations hush slightly, as people listened in. There was a part of her that relished the fight, the put-downs, the humbling of this indignant woman who seemed to think she knew how to run this ship better than she did. It would probably be a very loud, very vicious fight, with about a 50/50 odds of it ending with one of them being restrained after the other one said something _very_ stupid.

As much as Catra did like the idea of watching Sparkles being carried away, kicking and screaming by Arrow Boy, she just didn’t have the energy for that right now. There were two things she could do now. First, she could pull rank, order Glimmer to shut up, and end it that way, which would be quick but would probably kill the conversation and make her very unpopular. Which, of course, Catra didn’t mind.

However, she could actually explain why she was doing all the combat drills. That option also wouldn’t piss Adora off as much, which was a consideration she liked to believe didn’t factor in, but definitely did.

“I wasn’t lying earlier.”

“About what?”

“When I said that you are all exceptional officers. I wasn’t being kind. I don’t do kind; I do the truth.” She could feel the rest of the room listening to her now. “You all know what you’re doing, but there’s a difference between scaring off a few Pirates and facing down the Klingons, _Lieutenant._ I’ve faced Klingons on a ship and on the ground. I’ve beaten them, but I barely lived to tell the tale. Ask the Captain, she’ll tell you. She barely survived as well. I’m doing these drills because you need to learn to act as a crew in a battle situation.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “We _know_ how to do that. I didn’t spend three years as a cadet for nothing.”

“There’s a difference between a simulation and actually Starship combat and you know it.”

“We’ll be ready.”

“Yes, you will,” Catra said evenly. “But you’re not going to get any better if you spend your lunchtimes picking fights, are you.”

Glimmer pouted for a second, then steeled herself. “You don’t need to ruin our lives just because you hate the Captain, because she destroyed your career. Frankly, I think you deserved worse than a criminal negligence charge, but I guess you’re just lucky.”

Scorpia and Bow gasped, the communication officer shooting Glimmer an appalled look, but the Pink haired woman merely stared defiantly at Catra. It was a challenge and a statement of intent from Glimmer. _You messed with my friend and I’m gonna make you regret it._

 _Criminal negligence?_ Catra thought, confused for a second, before realising what the hell was going on, at which point she let out a silent sigh of relief.The accusation of criminal negligence implied that Glimmer didn’t know the whole story. I mean, she’d have preferred it if she knew **none** of the story, but if she didn’t know the whole truth-

Well, the less said about the whole truth the better.

That revelation did, somewhat dampen the boiling anger in Catra’s chest. Six years had done a lot to change how she dealt with Antagonism like this. If she had been on the Mikasa, or even in the early days on the Starbase, she’d probably have launched herself over the table at Glimmer and started beating her to a pulp. Part of her was tempted to do it anyway, but instead, she took a long breath in, ignoring the look of horror on Scorpia’s eyes.

“For your sake, _Lieutenant Brightmoon,_ I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear the second half of that. Any of it, because if I did, you’d be in the brig for a very long time, understood?”

Glimmer held her gaze for a little longer, but then her face softened as the double blow of Catra not taking the bait and the fact she’d just antagonized a Superior officer. “Sorry, Sir,” she mumbled before sitting back down,

“And for the record, when we’re facing off with a real Klingon Battlecruiser, you’ll be glad I spent hours teaching you how to get the most out of a Starship.” Catra stood up sharply, her chair sliding backward with a squeak across the floor. “Next time you want to start fights with me, try coming down the gymnasium when I’m sparring, it’ll probably be easier.” She turned on her heels stormed off before Glimmer could say anything that would really get under her skin, ignoring the stares from the rest of the crew as she dumped her half-eaten lunch in the waste shoot and stalked out of the Mess Hall.

Part of her wanted to be mad that Adora had told Glimmer about it. Even if they were best friends, she hadn’t told Scorpia. It had never occurred to her to tell Scorpia. But then again, they were different people. They always had been, even when they had gelled together and been completely inseparable. She couldn’t blame Adora for letting go of some of her burdens, could she?

 _If I did, I’d be as bad a friend as I was six years ago._ She caught herself for a second, realizing she had slipped into calling Adora a friend.

 _She’s not my friend now._ Then what was Adora? She was more than just a superior officer now, just as they had always had something just beyond friendship back then. But this wasn’t the Mikasa, or the Academy, or the heady days in Halfmoon Settlement when they were two stupid 14-year-olds. This was now, and she didn’t know what they were now. Did she hate Catra? Did it matter if she did now?

It wasn’t like Adore was alone now. She had other friends – new friends, most likely better friends than she’d ever been to her in the first place. That notion made Catra feel ill.

Was she jealous? She would have denied it, but she knew she was. It didn’t feel like malicious jealousy, more like guilt. Guilt that she wasn’t the one standing up for Adora in the mess hall anymore, the one who knew all the secrets, who brought her food in the dead of night and held her when she had panic attacks and told her everything was going to be alright. That wasn’t Catra anymore, and at the end of the day, she only had herself to blame for that.

 _I can’t go back to that._ Six years is a long time in space. People change. You can’t turn the clock back.

“Wildcat!” Catra turned round to see Scorpia bounding down the corridor towards her, waving a pincer. She stopped in front of the Caitian, panting. “I, I just wanted to see if you were ok.”

Catra bristled slightly but also felt a warmth at the Tall woman’s affection. “I’m fine, thanks Scorpia.”

“Glimmer was out of order there, and we all think it. You don’t deserve to be talked about like that.”

 _Not even a little?_ Catra thought, then suppressed. “She’s got her reasons,” she shrugged.

“Still, what was she doing accusing you of hating Captain Gray!” Scorpia was indignant. “You’re the perfect First Officer! You’ve done everything right! You know I’m tempted to go back in there and give her a piece of my mind!”

“Calm down Scorpia,” Catra chuckled. “Don’t fight her on my part. Besides, if you go and start brawling with her Perfuma won’t be very impressed.” The Security chief blushed at the mention of the Botanist.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true.”

“Have you asked her out yet or not?” Catra asked, changing the subject.

“It’s hard! You know I’m not good at this,” Catra winced, remembering how awkward it had been when Scorpia had asked her out back on Starbase 6.

Catra gave her a friendly shove. “You’ll do fine. If you can’t woo her with you’re muscles, you can at least woo her with you’re cooking.”

“You’re right Wildcat!” Catra was swept up in another (they were almost inevitable). “I am a great cook! And I have you to thank for that!”

“Agh-You’re welcome!” Catra gasped before disentangling herself from the hug. She smiled bashfully at her friends' praise before an idea popped into her head. “Hey Scorpia, can you show me around the mess kitchen?”

“Sure! Why?”

“Well-“ Catra’s heart fluttered slightly. “I thought I’d make something for a friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say slow burn, didn't I. Yeah.
> 
> We're getting there.


	5. Cleaning Wounds

**Stardate 4534.9: 2350 Hours Ship time**

Adora tried one more time to read the maintenance report in front of her.

It was still gibberish. Once again, the words failed to enter her brain and merely sat on the page, mocking her for another failed attempt to do her work properly. She thought about throwing the padd at the wall but settled for chucking it lightly into a pile with the other ones she’d set aside, and picked up the next one, ignoring the groaning from her own stomach as she leaned forward. She winced as she read the request from the Earth Cargo Service’s local office for a threat assessment. The Alliance’s assignment to ‘Stellar patrol’ – the catch-all term for a ship on Convoy duties, Border Patrol, and some routine surveys wasn’t meant to be a slog. It wasn’t exactly a Five Year Mission, but it *usually* wasn’t as mind-numbing dull as this. People seemed to imagine that people the Captain of a Starship was a swashbuckling adventure – it was, sometimes, but most of the time it was paperwork.

Adora was painfully aware that a large amount of the pile of Padds on her desk was of her own creation. She was a generous person, she told herself. The sort of person who wouldn’t turn down a call, or a request for assistance, or delegate tasks to juniors who she didn’t think were competent enough or had too much on her plate just because she’d only had four hours of sleep and hadn’t in twelve hours. People relied on her. And besides, she’d work through it. She always had. She didn’t need to eat. If she ate she’d be alone with her thoughts and- well we weren’t about to have that, were we?

Adora would like to believe that she had the burnout under control this time and that this time it would not be burnout, but the look of concern on Dr. Mermista’s face when she’d seen her on the bridge told that maybe it wasn’t going to work this time. Bow and Glimmer usually helped her come back from the brink usually, but this was a little different. Bow was _trying_. He was always trying, bless his giant heart, but there was only so much one man could do, and he really didn’t have the willpower to drag Adora away from her work the same way Glimmer did. And Glimmer was being _difficult._

Was difficult the right way to describe it? Probably. Either way, it was hard for Glimmer to tell Adora to stop when the whole “act super-professional and distant and throw yourself into your work so Catra can’t use your relationship to break you down and destroy you” thing was her idea. And it was a good idea, right? She’d kept Catra out, and she was still in control of herself. And her ship. And her crew.

But then again, what was she defending her control against? Glimmer insisted Catra was out for revenge for you-know-what, but if she was, she wasn’t exactly doing much revenge-wise. So what was Catra doing?

Well she was doing her job. Performing her duties as a first officer on a Starship, to a high standard. Sure, there were complaints (most of them from Glimmer about drills and crankiness and Catra not seeing them as anything more than cannon fodder) but honestly? Catra was doing an exemplary job. Adora was sure if she looked on the ones of the Padds (maybe the one that was half off the table, under the one with the duty rosters?) she’d find a report that said that productivity was up 10% across the board. She had done everything she needed to do and hadn’t once complained about the cold shoulder Adora was giving her or made a snarky comment, or question anything without good reason.

 _Not exactly how someone undermines someone._ So why was Adora so stressed? Why was she hiding from Catra, both physically (like she had been all day, in staff meetings and in her quarters) or emotionally, by treating her like she was a brick wall? She certainly didn’t like doing it. So why was she here?

 _I’m afraid of her, aren’t I?_ Adora groaned and slumped on the desk. _Of what I might say to her. Of what she might say to me._

 _God, I hate this._ She suddenly felt very sick, and she didn’t know whether it was the dread or the fact she hadn’t eaten since 8 am. She put her heads in her arms and listened quietly to the hum of the engines in the background. It was a trick she’d learned on the _Renown_ when she’d had her first panic attack without Catra to calm her down, and before she’d gotten close enough to Bow and Glimmer to let them in about how- how she needed some time out sometimes. She thought about calling for one of them, but then the door chime buzzed.

 _Thank god they’re telepathic._ “Come in!” Adora looked up, her eyes going wide when she saw the tail flick slightly between the legs of her guest, who held a tray with food in front of her tentatively.

“Cat- Commander Weaver,” she said, sitting up straight and looking her in the eyes with a well-learned neutral expression. “How can I help you?”

“I…thought you’d like something to eat.” Catra had stopped just inside the threshold, and she winced slightly when the door squeaked shut behind you. “The Doctor said that you don’t eat unless someone brings something to you these days.”

Adora blinked. Part of her fight or flight response saw some trap here – some opportunity for Catra to get her with her guard down, disarm her, get into her mind. But she also looked so genuine. Her gaze was pointedly not quite at Adora’s eye level, instead looking at the Padds on the desk. She looked- she looked nervous, of all things.

“Thank you, Commander,” Adora said, delicately.

“Please call me Catra, I’m off duty.”

Adora huffed. “I’m not.” Catra stiffened slightly, but then she rolled her eyes and smiled.

“It’s midnight. You’re officially off duty whether you like it or not.”

“Fine.”

“…Are you going to clear some space or-“ Catra gestured to the mess of Padds on her desk.

“Wha-oh!” Adora began to grab the slates and pile them up in a corner haphazardly, earning a chuckle from the Caitian. The blonde woman resisted the urge to chuckle with her. _I’ve got stay in control_ , she reminded herself, ignoring how much her stomach twisted in reaction to that thought. For her part, Catra was merely looking curiously at the stack of Data slates in front of her.

“You know, you could just put it all on the Computer viewscreen,” Catra chided, as she put down the tray of food in Adora.

“I like to see everything in front of me,” the blonde insisted. “It’s much easier to figure out what’s important and- wait, is this mac and cheese?”

“Yeah, why?” Catra gave her a nonchalant look. Adora looked down, and then back up at her.

“I can’t eat this!”

“Why not?”

“I have a form to keep!”

“I take it you’re still living on glorified protein supplements and kale, captain?” Catra gave her a disapproving look.

“I have to maintain a healthy physique. We all do.”

“Adora, Mermista says you registered as underweight on your last physical anyway.” Adora still stared at the plate of _incredibly_ good smelling food with suspicion. “Please?” Catra insisted. “I..I know what happens when you get stressed. And I know this helps, even if you don’t – didn’t think it does.”

Adora picked at it with her fork, trying to balance her own self-restraint with the fact her mouth was currently watering at the smell. “The food dispenser can’t make the cheese taste right anyway,” she muttered.

“Good thing I made it myself, then” Catra hummed, picking up of the padds and reading it while Adora stared at her in shock.

“Wha-why?”

“Well it always calmed you down at the Academy,” the Caitian said dismissively. Adora looked back at the food. It did smell good. She tentatively took a small bite.

“Oh my God,” she said, not realizing how hungry she was. “This. Is. Amazing.” Catra let out a quiet, high laugh.

“Nice to know I still have the magic touch after six years,” Catra said sadly.

Adora stopped shoveling it into her mouth for a second. “What do you mean?”

“Oh-er,” Catra rubbed her arms, trying to hide the blushing Adora had already seen. “I haven’t really made it in a while.”

“Why?”

“It didn’t feel right.” _It reminded you of me, didn’t it?_ Adora grimaced.

“Well,” Adora said brightly, “It’s still as good as I remember.” She tried to eat it with some composure, but the moment Catra picked up and began to read one of the Padds she took the chance to shovel it messily into her mouth as quickly as she could. _Oh my god, I had no idea I was this hungry._ She looked up, realizing that Catra was still here. In her quarters. _Wait._

“Why are you still here?” She blurted out. Catra flinched at the sharp sound, then shrugged.

“I dunno.”

“Don’t you have any work to do yourself?”

“It’s midnight.”

“Is that a no?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Ok. But why are you here, specifically.” Adora felt weird asking it.

“It’s weird sitting in my quarters alone. I..haven’t had a room to myself in a long time.” Catra wasn’t looking at Adora. Instead, she was reading another slate she’d picked up. Adora caught herself watching her First Officer properly, for the first time since she had first arrived. It was strange, looking her up and down again. Her tail still moved to its’ own enigmatic rhythm as she read, and as she sat on the table (Catra never sat in chairs normally unless she had to) Adora caught herself staring at the curves of her body, the shape of her toned arms beneath her tunic, the three freckles on her right cheek, the small scar on her left ear that she’d got when they were kids. It was still Catra, but it also wasn’t the same Catra she’d known. She was less lean, less jumpy, more collected. She perched on the table in a relaxed fashion, instead of in the apprehensive way she used to where she’d be ready to leap away at any second. She seemed more in control of herself, but also exactly same, still chewing her lip slightly with one large canine while she thought in a fashion that made the Blonde Woman's heart flutter. Adora smiled slightly, then noticed Catra looking back at her

“Can I help you?” Catra said evenly. Adora reddened.

“Oh-er”, the blonde averted her gave. “it’s nothing.” Catra raised an eyebrow at that.

“Ok.” There was a moment of silence, then Adora noticed Catra squinting at the Padd.

“What is it?”

“Adora, are you away at this is the duty roster for Engineering?”

“Is it?”

Catra rolled her eyes, then held it up to her. “Yeah, it is.”

“Ok.” Adora looked at her blankly. “Is there a problem?”

“This isn’t your job.”

“Entrapta never did it properly,” she insisted.

Catra gave her a _really?_ look. “Then she should learn.”

“It’s easier this way,” Adora said, reaching for the Padd, but Catra snatched it away and plopped it on the floor before picking another one up.

“Astrometrics reorganization planning,” she read before picking up the third padd. “Incident Report on the fire in Cargo Bay Two.” Another Padd “Anthropology Department Annual Review.” She looked up at Adora. “How much of all of this-“she said, gesturing to the pile of Padds –“is actually _your_ work?”

“…. all of it?” Catra gave her a pleading look.

“ **Captain.** ” Catra held up the Padd. “This Padd literally has my name on it.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“’ For the attention of the First Officer: Review of Piracy activity in Sub Sector 183, dates-“

“I get it, I get it.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this.”

“It’s fine,” she insisted. “I can handle this.”

“Are you though?” Adora glared at the Caitian.

“I am, _Commander_. How I handle the duties of my ship is _my_ business, not yours.”

“You’re not handling them well, though.”

“Yes, I am,” Adora shot at her. Catra held her gaze for a second.

“Listen, do you want me to help you here or would you prefer I got the Doctor to write you down for nervous exhaustion?”

“Nervous exhaustion?” Adora shot back, questioningly. Catra didn’t roll her eyes, or huff, or make a snarky comment, instead, she held her gaze and nodded.

“As the first officer, it is my duty to make sure that this crew can function properly, Captain included, and it is my professional opinion that you are close to a dangerous level of exhaustion.”

Adora blinked at her. “Do you have any evidence for this?” She tried to sound unconvinced, but it came out closer to defeated than anything.

Catra began to list of her fingers. “You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, you avoid interactions with your crew, you’re prioritizing work over downtime and just harming your ability to perform your duties,”- she looked up at Adora, no emotion on her face. “Do I need to go on?”

“No, you don’t, _Commander,_ ” Adora spat out, but she felt unconvinced by her anger. Catra was right- she’d had this exact conversation with Bow and Glimmer dozens of times. She knew she worked herself so hard that she’d end up in a closet hugging her legs to her chest while her heart burst out of her chest and her head span. But that hadn’t happened since she had first sat in the Captain’s chair. She was different now. She was in control. She could do this. She was better now, she had scheduled and she delegated work and she wasn’t letting everything pile up like this often, was she?

Where this pile of work come from? She knew the answer to that. Adora didn’t want to acknowledge what the answer was because if she did, she would have to acknowledge her fear. Adora didn’t do acknowledging fear. She locked her gaze with Catra’s. “If you think I need an official medical intervention then get the good Doctor down here. But otherwise, this is just an act of insubordination.”

“It isn’t insubordination,” Catra said with a level of malice- no, actually it was closer to frustration now Adora thought about it – “to point out to the Captain that instead of focusing on the duties of Commanding her ship, she is instead taking on the duties of the first officer on top of her own.”

 _Oh, shit,_ Adora thought. She knew she had gone bright red, less with anger than with embarrassment at being caught out. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it when she saw Catra giving her a _go on, I dare you_ look.

“Shift rotas, duty rosters, incident reports, promotion suggestions, maintenance schedules, -“ Catra was still locked in a stare with her, boring into Adora’s mind. “ they’re the job of the first officer on a starship. We do them, so you can get on with Command. So why-“ Catra waved a Padd in Adora’s face angrily – “is all of my fucking work in your quarters?”

“I-“

“You know what I’ve been doing for the last month? Writing fucking training programs. Why? Because every time I went to go and do any of the work the Command training manual says I’m meant to do, the computer tells me it’s already been completed, or that it is currently being conducted by a senior officer.”

Adora blinked at her. “Are you complained because you _didn’t have enough work to do?_ ”

“Seriously?”

“I mean it’s not like you were a fan of doing any work ever beforehand,” Adora snarked. “What changed.”

“I got court-martialed, what do you want me to say.” Catra glared at her. “Some of us spent the last six years getting our act together and sorting out _some_ of our toxic behavior.”

“Did you now.”

“We’re not here to focus on the last six years here _Captain_.”

“Then what are we discussing, _Commander?”_

“The fact that you don’t actually trust me.” Adora blinked in shock. “Don’t deny it.”

Adora had always had a gut feeling about Catra being a good person. Ever since they had first met as boisterous kids on that faraway colony, it had been the same feeling of togetherness and determination – that she would be there for Catra, and that Catra would be there for her. It was them against the world, no questions asked, no promises broken. And until that day six years ago when- well, when that wasn’t true anymore, nothing would have ever made her change that opinion. Even when Catra had been ripped from her life, the memory of her had always been associated with comfort, with ease, with being relaxed, with existing without the wall that Adora threw up to protect herself from the rest of the universe. But that was less the actual Catra, and more the imagined Catra she had created in her head to assure herself that she hadn’t always been this lonely. The Catra who’d made her bunk off school to watch Ships at the spaceport, the Catra who’d held her when she’d had her first panic attack at the Academy, the Catra who’d whooped and cheered for her at every sports game from Freshman year at high school to Senior Year at the Academy. Not the Catra who’d used her, the Catra who’d lied to her, the Catra who’d nearly destroyed both of them. The liar, the coward, the traitor. That was not the Catra she wanted to remember, but it was still a person. The scars were still here.

The only way she’d been able to function for six years was to pretend that they were two different people: the friend and the enemy, separate, barely related. But now she was here, and Adora didn’t know which Catra was in front of her now. She wanted to believe it was _her_ Catra, with quick, dry wit, a whip-smart mind and devotion to her friends. But that wasn’t the woman she’d last seen six years ago. She’d been bitter, and angry, and vengeful, and out to destroy Adora. Adora wanted to forgive, to trust, but she couldn’t- not yet. There was too much at stake

But she also couldn’t admit to herself (or anyone else) any of this.

“Of course I trust you,” she said measuredly.

“You’d have a good reason not to,” Catra replied snappily. “Don’t try to protect me. I understand.”

“Wha-what do you mean? You’re a capable officer and-“

“Cut the crap Adora, you know exactly what I mean.” Catra’s steeled look broke for a second. “If you don’t trust me enough to let me in, that’s fine, but I won’t’ let you destroy your own mental health because you or your little pink haired friend don’t think I can draw up a duty roster without handing state secrets to the Klingons. I get that you’re not going to let me in immediately but for fuck’s sake it’s been a month and you’re still hiding some of the most mundane of official duties from me, for what reason?”

Adora swallowed, then nodded. “I get it. But I can’t have you just coming in here and doing-“she waved a hand about vaguely- “doing whatever this is. It isn’t good for the chain of command.”

“Fine,” Catra said, almost calmly. “We’ll make a deal. You let me do the work I’m meant to do, and I won’t undermine the chain of command. Not like I was doing that anyway.”

“Shitting on my bridge crew for not passing your esteemed Combat drills feels a little like I’m being undermined.”

Catra groaned. “Can we save that argument for another day, please? You need to sleep.”

“No, I don’t,” Adora said. Catra chuckled lightly, earning a look of confusion from the blonde woman.

“Please, Adora. You’ve got more bags under your eyes than a Tellarite, and besides, you’ve signed the same Requisition order five times while we’ve been talking.” Adora glanced down to see the mess of signatures on the padd, and felt her cheeks light up red. She threw it on the table in disgust.

“Fine.” Adora stood up, and Catra gave a muted sigh of relief before standing up herself.

“Thank you, sir,” Catra said softly. “I-“ she suddenly looked very unsure in herself. “I’m sorry for that outburst. It wasn’t proper.”

“What outburst?” Adora said, genuinely confused.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It’s not how we should interact with each other. It’s not right for officers.”

Adora blinked for a second, then smirked. “It never stopped you in the past, especially when I deserved a wake-up call.”

Catra gave her a sad look. “This isn’t the past. I-I don’t want to be that person. They’re not me anymore. You need to remember that.” She took Adora’s hand, clutching it between both of hers, the sensation of touch burning Adora’s skin, but she couldn’t pull herself away from it. “I can’t make you think what I want you to think of me. If you don’t want to trust me as a person, as a friend – you don’t have to. I- I haven’t earned that. But please trust me as an officer. I-“ she withdrew one hand to rub the back of her neck –“ I think I deserve that at least.” Adora could see the fear in her eyes, the slight twitch of her tail, the tells of nervousness and anxiety that she never knew she’d learnt by heart. Catra took a deep breath.

“I’m not the same person I was. Please remember that.” She squeezed Adora’s hand for a second. They were very close now, and before Adora realised what she was doing she was drawing her eyes across her body again, taking in the up-close differences between the sallow young woman she had in her mind, and the older one in front of her, her hands more calloused and scarred, mementos from battles Adora hadn’t been there to see.

She forced herself to look up into those deep multicolored eyes and suddenly she felt herself being back- back helping Catra sneak back into Weaver’s, hiding in storerooms so they could sneak onto runabouts, holding each other close on winter nights at the academy when the pressure had been to much, then the sharp memory of bared teeth and hissing breath and the salt of tears and the raw feeling of betrayal. It all came at once like a tidal wave, and Adora felt her free hand shake as it washed over her. It hurt to have her here. But she didn’t want to let go of her either. She didn’t want to scare her away. Why had she been so cruel? Did she need to keep being cruel, just because Catra had once been cruel to her?

No, she didn’t.

“I-I’ll try, C-Catra,” she said, trying to say the name as warmly as she could. She felt Catra flinch slightly as she did, but the Caitian also looked relieved. She smiled, then withdrew her hand.

“Sleep well, sir. I- I think you need it.” She stood there for a second, almost looking through Adora instead of at her.

“Thank you, and – “Adora sighed, closing her eyes. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry to.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Adora,” Catra said, without meeting her gaze. “I can promise you that.”

“But-“

“How about that deal?”

“What deal?”

“That you’d let me do my work?” Catra said, with a hint of snark.

“Oh- err- “Adora looking back at the pile of Padds, and felt her knees sag a little and her shoulders sag at the mere sight of them. “Ok.” Catra stared at her for a second, before Adora realized she was standing between her and the Padds.

Catra gestured to her for a second. “Do you mind?” She slid past adora, their bodies touching briefly. Adora jumped back, blushing, but Catra didn’t seem to notice as she scooped up a pile of Padds on the desk. She turned to Adora, who was wringing her hands slightly. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Adora suppressed a smile (she had no idea why), and merely nodded. Catra raised an eyebrow at her, but then seemed satisfied and turned to leave.

“Catra, listen, I’m-“ she faltered. _I’m sorry for everything_ , she wanted to say, but the words refused to form in her mouth. “I’m grateful for this,” she said, cringing at how stilted it felt.

“Save it, Adora,” she said without turning around. “I’m doing this because I want this ship to function well, not because I want you to suddenly like me again.”

Adora, swallowed and nodded, and even though Catra was facing away, she acknowledged the reply with a nod of her own. “I’ll see you in tomorrow’s briefing,” she said, before passing out into the corridor without another word.

Even an hour after she had left, Adora was still holding herself in her arms, lying in bed contemplating the fact that was the first time they’d touched each other in six years. It felt electric – the touch of someone who’s hand had dragged you across playgrounds, weaving through crowds at fairgrounds and hallways, who’d guided hers when she’d tried and failed to teach Adora the guitar all those times. It was –

It was like falling through a wormhole through time, and it scared Adora. She wanted so much to go back to that, but she knew she couldn’t. Catra was not that person anymore. And neither was she.

And for the first time in a long time, she cried.

***

The pinging of the deflector function lights was beginning to irritate Adora today, but only because she felt particularly prickly right now. To be honest, she’d been feeling rather prickly (was prickly the right word? She wasn’t really sure) since Catra had visited her quarters that night with a peace offering (that seemed to be the only word for it). It had felt rather anti-climactic. There had been no blowout argument, not even on the level of the one they’d had on the first day she’d been aboard, just some raised voices and an unexpected apology. The moment the experience had stopped making her feel raw, it had just begun to bug her. Her brain had a set of ways to deal with Catra – the right tics, the right snarky replies, the correct level of dorkiness and aloof optimism to set her off, and as much as she knew that she wasn’t able to go back there, a part of her had wanted to try, and- there’d be nothing there. Catra didn’t want to be like that. She was cold, she was professional, she was everything you wanted from a first officer- except a friend. She’d made it very clear that night that she didn’t want to be Adora’s friend, at least not like before.

Realistically she only had herself to blame, didn’t she? She’d been the one who’d been so cold to Catra when she’d first came aboard. Maybe if she’d been warmer, more familiar, more-

No, that wouldn’t have worked. That dynamic was more bitter than professionalism. It may have been warm once- still feel warm to think about – but it was one step away from throwing them back into the uncontrolled fear and anger that had nearly destroyed Adora six years ago. She couldn’t go back to that. Nothing was worth dragging through all of that again. She would have to re-establish her relationship with Catra. Was that such a bad thing, to start from the beginning? Was it even possible? She didn’t know.

She’d tried to talk to Bow and Glimmer about the encounter with Catra, but they weren’t exactly listening. It seemed like the conversation was just another chance for the two of them to continue some muted, backhanded eternal argument that had been brewing about as long as Adora had been mulling over the Catra situation, and as much as she despised being selfish, it would have been really great if they hadn’t just used her as a place to bicker with each other.

On the plus side, with Catra doing some of her- _her correct share of the workload_ , Adora had been able to get the downtime she so dearly needed. Not that she was sleeping at all. Her brain couldn’t slow down enough for that. She’d done a lot of reading – not just from the ship’s computer, but through the list of reports that were usually swept under the rug or just summarised in daily briefings. Most were fluff and minutiae, but a few (especially those referencing the possibility of landing parties or EVA missions) always caught her eye. They were the sort of trips that she and Catra had spent a lot of time on as junior security officers on the _Reed_ and the _Loire,_ scouring new planets for life, stomping across lifeless asteroids, just them talking about everything and nothing together.

They were some of her happiest memories, and even just reading the bone dry reports from the ship’s scientists about these planets conjured images of her and Catra (back as brash Junior Lieutenants of course) galivanting across alien prairies or through lush jungle. They were intimate memories, of friendship and comradery on hostile worlds. She had always missed it, the knowledge that sometimes it was literally her and Catra against the world. It was uncomplicated. She missed uncomplicated. Could she bring that back? Absolutely not. But maybe she could remind Catra that there was happiness in their past, not just anger. She mulled over the various options in her head as the stars zipped past them, then-

“Bow?”

“Yes, Captain?” Adora saw the dark-skinned officer turn her way in her peripheral vision, but didn’t turn to look his way. She was beginning to get a plan in her head.

“Is the rendezvous with the _Pollux_ on Stardate 4544 or 4594?” There was a pause while Bow scanned across his workstation.

“It’s on Stardate 4594,” he said, before looking up. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh,” Adora hummed, keeping her on the viewscreen while she idly played with two yellow recorder tapes. “It’s just that I remember seeing in Glimmer’s brief that there’s an M-Class planet only a Star system away that needs to be surveyed.”

“Is there?” Glimmer said, turning in her chair, not even pretending she hadn’t been eavesdropping. “I don’t remember that.”

“Oh it was from Lt. Randall’s section,” Adora said off-handedly.

“You read that? I didn’t even read that!” Glimmer huffed. “How did you find the time to do that.”

“Oh, I moved some work around,” Adora said offhandedly. “It’s really interesting stuff. Apparently, this planet, 74 Cygni III, has signs of mammal life without any aquarian lifeforms above the bacterial level.” She turned and smiled at Glimmer, who was giving her a suspicious look. “What?”

“Adora, you can’t just read the cool stuff you get.”

“I am not just reading the cool stuff!” Adora snorted. “It was just the next thing on the pile.”

“Please,” Glimmer said, rolling her eyes, “last time I was in your quarters that report was underneath a dozen slates _and_ your dinner. You’re cheating.”

“Cheating?” Adora raised an eyebrow playfully. “I’m the Captain, I set the rules, don’t I?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Glimmer said firmly. “I don’t want you, y’know-“ she made a gesture which Adora knew meant _having a massive burnout and breaking down on the bridge like we’ve been trying to avoid for the last eight months_.

“I won’t, I promise.” She said firmly.

“Oh?, And why’s that?” Glimmer pushed. “Did you-“ she stopped talking suddenly as the turbolift doors squeaked open. Adora turned in the chair to see Catra pacing onto the bridge holding two padds, humming some tune as she did. She glanced down at Adora in the chair, giving her a polite, if sharp nod.

“Morning, Captain,” she said, before turning to Bow. “Here’s the departmental transfer list,” she said, handing the slate to the surprised Communications officer, before walking up to Glimmer, who was trying her best not to look too confused. “Your Requisitions list, Lieutenant. I’ve scoured up a spare analytical computer from Engineering, but I think the rest of the parts for that new Lab will have to wait until we’re next at Starbase. I did speak to Astrobiology, and they’re willing to let you use their lab for these tests.” Glimmer blinked at the Slate held out in front of her. “Lieutenant?” Catra betrayed no smugness in her tone, and her facial expression held a professional smile.

Glimmer glanced between her face and the slate, before snatching the slate from her hand with a grimace. Catra nodded, then stepped into the Well to stand beside the Captain’s chair, staring out at the viewscreen. Adora glanced behind her (she knew Catra could see her do it) and saw Bow and Glimmer staring at each other in shock. Glimmer turned to her and mouthed _What the fuck?_

 _Language!_ Bow mouthed back.

 _Oh shove it, this is more important._ Glimmer mouthed back.

“Is there a problem, Lieutenant?” Catra said innocently, and Adora had to stifle a laugh as Glimmer went bright red.

“No, sir,” Glimmer hissed, steam practically billowing from her ears. Bow just looked shell-shocked. Catra nodded, then turned back to face away from them, hands clenched behind her back.

“Did you see Mr. Randall’s report?” Adora asked. Catra nodded.

“Yes, interesting stuff.”

“His suggestions for a full survey of 74 Cygni IIIwere certainly eye-catching.”

“I’ll say. The flora reminds me of that Jungle planet near Capella we visited with the Reed.”

“Gordon’s World?” Adora offered. It was the first time either of them had mentioned any of their previous experiences together, and as cool as Adora sounded she could hear her heart thumping in her chest.

“That’s the one with the six-legged trunked Equestrians, isn’t it?”

“The elephant horses? That you accidentally stampeded and nearly got me buried under?”

“That’s the one,” Catra said grinning, still not looking at her. Glimmer, despite her attempts to hide behind her Data Slate, was watching the conversation with an extremely concerned eye. “What do you think sir, worth the detour? We do have the time, and from what I can see there’s no chance of being stampeded by anything larger than a Squirrel.”

Adora chuckled politely. “We are overdue a full planetary survey. I don’t think we’ve conducted one since last year.”

“It’d certainly be a useful chance for the Sciences Department to stretch their legs, would it not Mr Brightmoon?” Catra said, and although it was barely noticeable, Adora could tell that underneath the professionalism Catra was enjoying this exchange immeasurably, bobbing slightly on her heels as she stood next to the chair.

Glimmer, however, was not. She glanced at Bow, then Adora for aid. Adora merely gave her a _you’re a science officer_ look then turned back to the front of the bridge.

“I suppose it would, sir,” she grumbled. “As you’ve been so proactive, _sir,_ I presume you will not need any assistance preparing the survey plan, sir?”

“To be fair, Lieutenant, I wouldn’t want to step on your toes.” The Caitan was still bobbing on her heels slightly, her tail flicking as she did. “What do you think, Captain?” Adora blinked for a second, the sat up straight in the chair (she hadn’t even noticed herself slouching.)

“Well-“she looked from Glimmer to Catra, the former glaring at her and the latter giving her a collected, almost Vulcan look. “You are the Science officer Glimmer.” Glimmer’s glare intensified, but she was interrupted by Bow.

“Commander, you’re wanted in Engineering. Entrapa said something about a lab partner being needed for an experiment?” Catra groaned.

“She’s conducting some tests on upping the power to the shield regenerators, and I’m supervising to make sure that there’s still a ship afterward.” She stepped out of the well, her hands still held behind her. “Can you put a damage control party on standby, Lieutenant?”

“Is that necessary?” Bow squeaked.

“God I hope not,” Catra snarked. “Oh, and I’d like that Survey plan by Thursday if that’s alright with you, Lieutenant?” Glimmer growled in response. “Very good,” Catra said, before stepping back into the turbo lift. There was a moment of silence after the doors slide closed, then suddenly Glimmer standing next to Adora with her furious face mere inches from the Captain’s own.

“What the fuck is going on!” she hissed. Adora jumped in the chair, but on the other side Bow also leaned into her, with a less agitated but still confused look.

“Yeah, that was...weird.”

“How was that weird?”

“You know exactly what we’re talking about _Adora_ ,” Glimmer hissed.

“No, I don’t!” Adora did, in fact, know what they were talking about.

“Since when did-“Glimmer pinched her nose for a second. “-did she do your work?”

“What do you mean my work? She’s not exactly sitting in the chair, is she?”

“No, but those requests and transfers were _your_ jobs. And since when did we do Planetary surveys voluntarily?”

“I mean, they weren’t technically my jobs,” Adora said with a nervous chuckle. “And I like Planetary surveys!”

“Yes, they are!” Glimmer shot back. “And no, you don’t!” To be fair, Adora had told them she hated surveys, but that was mainly true because they had reminded her too much of Catra.

“I mean she is right Glimmer,” Bow said thoughtfully. “Those tasks are technically part of the duties of the first officer.”

“Well until we get a capable and trustworthy first officer, she shouldn’t be doing that work, should she **Bow.** ”

“She’s not exactly going to give Perfuma’s plans for the Arboretum to the Gorn is she.”

“You never know,” Glimmer said far too earnestly.

“Please can we not have this argument again,” Bow groaned. “Especially not on the bridge.”

“Again?” Adora asked uneasily, aware that the nature of this conversation had suddenly moved very far away from her and Catra.

“What?” Bow said hurriedly. “I didn’t say ‘again’!”

“Firstly, what argument is this, and secondly, how many times have you had this argument.” She gave bow a stern look (mainly because he was more likely to crack than Glimmer).

“Well-“

“I know it’s about me, so get past that part.”

“It's…complicated?” he squeaked.

“No, it fucking isn’t,” Glimmer hissed. “Bow thinks Catra should be trusted because she made you Mac and Cheese once-“

“And Glimmer thinks that Catra is a salt monster who’s going to suck the lifeblood out of you and then sell your lifeless husk to the Klingons.”

Adora cringed. “Jesus.”

“I never said that!”

Bow gave Glimmer a tedious look. “You said those direct words to me in the turbo lift three hours ago.”

“I did not!”

“I’m afraid you did,” Seahawk said from the helm without looking back. “You then called Bow ‘a fool for trusting her’ and said, ‘when she sucks all the salt out of your body don’t come to me to cry’.” Bow snorted in triumph.

“Oh, way to pick a side _Sean_ ,” Glimmer groaned.

“Anyway,” Adora said, “what’s your deal here Glimmer.”

“What do mean what’s my deal? My deal is looking after my friends!” she sounded very proud of that.

“And by ‘looking after your friends’” Glimmer rolled her eyes at the air-quotes, “She means to have a fight with Catra whenever they’re in the same room, preferably in front of someone else, in order to prove she's your best friend in the world.”

“Oh for the love of-“Adora spun in the chair to face Glimmer – “Did you yell at Catra in a public area?”

Glimmer recoiled. “No!”, she insisted. Adora raised an eyebrow. “Ok, maybe. But she had it coming.” Adora groaned and hid her face in her hands.

“Did you have to do that?”

“I have to look after my friends!” Glimmer huffed. “I don’t see Bow standing up for you!”

“I don’t see Bow committing public acts of insubordination,” Adora growled.

“…thank you?” Bow said.

“I was standing up for you! You can’t let her push you around and send you flying off to random planets just because she wants to go there. It’s wrong!”

Bow raised an eyebrow at her. “That’s not just it is it? I know you're trying to be the best friend Adora could ever have, but that's not just it is it Glimmer.”

“It is!” Glimmer insisted a little too enthusiastically. "I promise!"

“Glimmer,” Adora said measuredly,” as much as I am grateful to have as a friend like you, I don’t need you slinging insults in the hallways on my behalf. This isn’t the Renown. I’ve grown since then, thanks to you two.” Glimmer’s mask of determination broke a little, and her expression softened. “But I can – I _need_ to figure out where I and Catra stand right now myself. And as much as I understand your concerns,” – Glimmer smiled slightly – “can you cut it the fuck out? Please?” Glimmer blinked at the bluntness of her friend. “There’s a lot of history between us and I am _trying_ to move past that, and the last thing I need is you two trading blows on the bridge, let alone you and Bow bickering like an old married couple.”

“We’re not a couple!” they said at the same time, earning a snort from Seahawk.

“Whatever,” Adora groaned. “But do you understand what I’m saying Glimmer, right? I am trying to make sure we can operate as a function command team, and beyond the basic level of talking to her like a human being, I need here to be able to do her work without being under fire.”

“You want me to back off, right?” She sounded disappointed.

“ **Yes.”**

“Ok, I will!” she said, throwing her hands up in surrender.

“Will you though?” Bow sounded skeptical.

“I’ll try, does that count?”

Adora rolled her eyes. “Just-put whatever grudge you have against her- as my friend or your own personal one away. Permanently.”

“Fine,” Glimmer said, stalking back to her station and plonking herself down in her chair. “But you better know what you’re doing. Especially with this planetary survey nonsense. I don’t want you to get broken by her again.”

“Of course, I know what I’m doing,” Adora said, in the full knowledge that she had no idea what she was doing. “This is Starfleet. We always know what we are doing.”


	6. The Flowers of Etheria, Pt. 1

**Captain's Log, Stardate 4564.8: The USS Alliance is currently in orbit over 74 Cygni III conducting a full planetary survey. The planet is a lush, fertile world on the edge of the Eternia Sector, and while it has been charted before by unnmaned probes, this is the first time anyone from Starfleet has beamed down to the planet. Preliminary reports suggest a planet full of botanical wonders and marvels, as well as much animal life. Shore leave has been given to all personnel to begin once the first section of the survey is complete.**

“Is there anything else to cover?” Adora asked, tapping her Padd stylus on the table. Catra studied her curiously. She seemed impatient if anything. It wasn’t surprising. Adora had been practically buzzing since she’d made the decision to make the survey, and as much as it had been _incredibly_ annoying to deal with, it also been extremely cute to see the blonde woman gush so much about something as dorky as a planetary survey. Not that Catra was any less excited, but she was so much better at pretending to be nonchalant about it all than Adora was. On top of that, she was amused at how much the Captain’s excitement was driving the Sparkles completely crazy. The Pink haired officer had been run ragged preparing for this (Catra had kept her word and left her to suffer alone) and the Caitian noticed the way her right eye twitched when Adora asked yet _another_ question.

She did, however, managed to recover, and shook her head. “Nothing else, sir. Botany and Exobiology’s initial teams have already beamed down. Lt. Flowers, Garnet, and I will join them after the briefing.”

“I’m rather looking forward to the chance to do some field study,” Perfuma said brightly. “What about you, Scorpia?”

The security officer, who had been rather caught up in staring dreamily at the Botanist all briefing, as she had been at every brief for _Two months_ , suddenly jolted upright. “Oh! Er- of course! I’m always excited to go down to planets! Seeing new plants, cuddly animals, breath the fresh air on a brave new world. And I certainly do like the sound of this place.”

“Scorpia?” Catra said.

“Yes?”

“You’re babbling.”

“Sorry, sir.” Scorpia gave her a sheepish look, oblivious herself to the dreamy look the botanist was giving her. Catra felt like she was going to be sick.

“Aren’t you beaming down now as well, Commander?” Adora said, without looking away from Glimmer’s presentation.

“Am I?” Catra said, glancing at Glimmer. “It wasn’t in the brief, but if you want me to go down Captain, I can certainly do that for you." Adora blinked at her, and she kicked herself inwardly for such a blatantly bad run of innuendo. But instead of flinching, Adora leaned forward with a cocky grin.

"Oh please _Commander_ , It's always my pleasure to give anyone the chance to do any exploring."

"Oh really?"

"Absolutely. There's plenty of strange new worlds out there to be explored, wouldn't you say?" Adora was still smirking. Catra couldn't help but smirk back, and even though she was fairly sure no one else was paying attention (Scorpia and Perfuma were now babbling to each other, and Glimmer was barking at some junior from Exobiology) it still felt like something a little bit too far from banter for the briefing room.

Still, it was also incredibly enjoyable. "I couldn't agree more, _Captain"_ Adora gave her a little, dorky grin, then turned to Glimmer.

“What do you say, Lieutenant? Some Command presence won’t get in your hair too much?” the pink-haired officer twitched again, and Catra resisted the urge to cackle.

“…I thought you might come down instead, Captain?” Glimmer said brightly, but almost pleadingly.

“Maybe later on. Mr. Weaver can handle organization planetside, right?” Catra nodded and gave Glimmer a sickening smile.

“I’d be delighted to.”

“But-“ Glimmer whined.

“Excellent. I know I could count you _Catra._ That’s all,” Adora said, standing up and shutting the pouting Science Officer down. “I’ll check in in a few hours.”

“You’ll join us then, right?” Glimmer pleaded.

“You betcha,” Adora snorted, making finger guns at her before sauntering out of the conference room. Catra groaned.

“I can’t believe they made that doofus Captain of a ship.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe they made you first officer.”

“You can blame your mother for that one, Sparkles,” Catra shot back, ignoring her apoplectic look as she stood up. “C’mon, they’re waiting for us in the transporter room.” Scorpia and Perfuma had already left the room, babbling to each other while both being completely ignorant of how much the other one was smitten with them. Glitter groaned, then stood up with her, slinging her Tricorder over her shoulder.

“The Captain knows how I feel about the Commodore on this. Not that she’d talk to you about that sort of thing.” Glimmer pushed past her and stomped away down the corridor. Catra felt a surge of anger, but shoved it down and merely shrugged to herself, then followed her.

Scorpia and Perfuma were still babbling by the time she reached the transporter room, and Glimmer stood beside them fiddling with her tricorder. Catra turned to chief Netossa, who gave her a slightly bored nod.

“All good so far?” she nodded.

“Haven’t beamed anyone down without their legs yet.” She glanced at the two lovestruck morons on the transporter pad. “Though I might beam those two down without their vocal cords just to shut them up.”

“Don’t tempt me to make that official, Chief,” Netossa smirked.

“Get on the Padd, sir.” Catra gave her a mock saluted, then made a small leap onto the pad, startling Glimmer.

“Dammit, Catra! Now I have to reconfigure this again.”

“That seems like a you problem, lieutenant.” Glimmer pouted, but Catra had already turned again from us. “Energize.”

****

Catra was beginning to wish she’d let Netossa keep the vocal cords. Immediately upon beaming down, Glimmer had dragged Perfuma away to organise the Science Department’s teams, leaving Scorpia and Catra to divvy out the security teams and organise the check-ins. By the time they’d done, Glimmer and Perfuma had disappeared, leaving Catra alone on this beautiful verdant planet with the most annoying lovestruck moron she could think of. They were currently walking along an animal track lined with bank upon bank of bright flowers that rolled up the hillside to their right and disappeared into the woodland to their left. It made Catra’s nose twitch, but Scorpia was loving it.

“I wonder if we’ll run into Perfuma again?” the tall woman mused as they strolled along, her tricorder forgotten at her hip.

“I’m sure of it,” Catra replied, actually using her Tricorder to do some work.

“Maybe I should try and find something to give her?”

“Such as?”

Scorpia glanced around. “Flowers?”

“Scorpia, this place is like 40% flowers.”

“I know I know, but if I can pick the right ones-“she turned to Catra. “Do you know what Perfuma’s favorite flower is?”

Catra snorted. “She’s a botanist. Every flower is her favorite flower.”

“Yeah, but there must be something she vibes with more than other ones.” Scorpia was stopping intermittently to pick up random flowers, tossing others aside. “Maybe something that compliments her hair? Or her eyes – or her uniform!”

Catra groaned and focused on the readings from her tricorder, which showed nothing beyond the odd animals and a stream further ahead near a clearing.

“What about a picnic?” Scorpia said as she jogged to catch up with her.

“A what?”

“A picnic! I could get Bow to have one made up and beam it down! We could sit in that clearing and have and-“

“I am **not** going to third wheel you and flower-girl all afternoon,” Catra hissed, in full knowledge, the threat would go over her head.

“It wouldn’t be third-wheeling! Glimmer would be there.”

“That’s worse.”

“Anyway,” Scorpia said, sneaking Catra a devious look. “The Captain will be there as well, won’t she?”

Catra bristled. “What makes you say that?”

“She said she’d beam down later,” Scorpia said, and there was something in her tone Catra didn’t quite catch but also didn’t really like.

“What are you trying to say, Scorpia?” she demanded, stepping in front of the Security chief, her hands on her hips.

“Well – you and Captain Gray are getting on a lot better now, and it’s always great to hand out with friends, old and new, and especially if you two are getting along, it’d be nice to get closer, right?” Scorpia wiggled her eyebrows.

“Yeah. It’s nice to be able to have a conversation with her. What are you getting at?”

“C’mon, Wildcat, its’ more than that, and you know it.”

Catra gave her a tedious look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well, you and her are doing a little more than just getting on right now.”

""What are you talking about?"

Scorpia smirked at her."C'mon, I was in the briefing. I might call that flirting." 

Catra bristled at that and went to cut back immediately, but Scorpia was right, as much as she would like to pretend she wasn’t. Since their ‘chat’ – more specifically, now she thought about it since she’d decide to ruin Sparkle’s week by proposing the survey – Adora had been a lot less cold to her. Which was good. But she was also doing certain things – acting in certain ways that were definitely…unexpected.

It started as the odd few things – mentioning events in their past (something that had always been an unspoken no go area), making small jokes about the academy or other references. Then she was dropping the whole ‘commander’ and ‘Mr Weaver’ act and seemed perfectly happy with just referring by her first name- at least not in front of Glimmer, who still glowered at Catra whenever they were in the same room. She knew Adora was just probing the ground, seeing what old, comfortable routines of quips and banter still worked, and what ones didn’t. There were some that couldn’t – Catra was no longer the one leading Adora around, dragging her by the hand or wrist into danger and adventure. That was that impossible now – for a start, First Officers are meant to stop their captain’s from going on stupid adventures, but more importantly, that wasn’t who Catra was anymore. There were a lot of memories from back then, of stupid dares, of leaping from windows and climbing across rooftops and sneaking through Jeffries tubes and many many things that she would never do now. She was better than all that now. Smarter. More thoughtful, less skittish. She’d learned to think before her instincts made her jump forward or backward. She’d overcome – well, tried to overcome the imprints feelings of self-loathing and inadequacy Weaver had drilled into her. She was a new person now – six years a self-made officer.

Watching her and Adora slot back into how they were before she had rebuilt herself made her anxious. She had to admit – she was scared. Some moments felt so much like before that she could feel her old anxieties and fears returning, her old fight or flight response to life bubbling to the surface. She’d nearly lashed out at Glimmer earlier for what was essentially a justifiable defense of her friend, and she shamed herself now for getting carried away by old jealously. But having Adora warm up to her made her heart feel full in a way it just _hadn’t_ in a very long time.

Was Catra ok with it? She didn't really know. It was…scary. She thought Adora would hate her still, and now she was here, Adora seemed…fine? But Catra could hear the voice at the back of her head telling her that if they pushed it too far, Adora would get hurt again. Hurt because she trusted Catra and Catra couldn’t keep anyone’s trust, but- _no,_ she told herself. _I am not that person. I am free from who that was now._

“You ok there, Wildcat?” Catra shook herself from her thoughts and stared at Scorpia. “Sorta lost you there.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” Catra said with a dismissing wave.

“What about, cute Blondes in Command Gold,” Scorpia said in what Catra assumed was meant to be a smug voice.

“Shut up,” she replied, earning a smirk from the Security chief. “What do you-“ Catra was cut off by a chirp from her communicator. “I’ll deal with you later.” She flipped it open. “Weaver here, go ahead.”

“ _Captain here. Can you and G-Lieutenant Brightmoon meet me at the clearing by that stream about half a mile ahead of you? I want to discuss the afternoon’s survey plans.”_

“Understood. I’ll let Sparkles know.”

“ _What’s it like down there?_ ”

“Rather beautiful. Lots of flowers. I’m glad the Doctor gave me that Hay Fever shot.”

“ _You still get hay fever?”_ Adora chuckled. Catra snorted.

"Of course I do. Don't you."

_"Yes, I do. I'll make sure to drop in to see the good doctor then."_

"Good, and you better be ready to relax."

" _Relax?"_ Catra could hear her smirk. " _I'll relax when the work's done, Commander._ "

"Hey, you're the one who ordered Shore leave."

" _Fiiiiine."_

“I’ll let you know when we’re at the clearing.” She went to end the call, then. “And Captain?”

“ _Yes?_ ”

“Make sure to bring a picnic basket with you.” She could practically see the baffled look on Adora’s face from here.

“ _….will do.”_

“See you in a few, Captain. Weaver out.” She turned to Scorpia and saw her crouching to gather even more flowers in her pincers and rolled her eyes. “Weaver to Brightmoon.”

“ _Brightmoon here,_ ” came a grumbling voice.

“The Captain wants us to meet at the clearing at 877-443.”

“ _Which one is that?”_ Catra rolled her eyes.

“The one with the stream through the middle.”

 _“Ohhhhh. Ok.”_ Catra heard grunting and groans of exertion.

“You ok there Lieutenant?”

“ _Yeah- just- Lt. Flowers is after some specific kind of fern and it’s -aghhh- not exactly easy to get to.”_

“Well, don’t get yourself killed.”

“ _Good to know I have your vote of confidence.”_

“Whatever Sparkles. See you at the rendezvous point. Weaver out.” Catra snapped the communicator shut and put it away. “C’mon Scorpia,”

“What’s going on?”

“We’re having a picnic.”

“Are we?”

“..were you not listening?”

“….”

“Of course, you weren’t.”

****

Scorpia, thankfully, stayed off the topic of her and Adora for the rest of the walk to the clearing, too focused on how wonderful Perfuma was. As much as it made her want to put a phaser to her head, it was actually nice to see her friend so excited about someone else, especially someone who was so clearly also into them. Scorpia had her head so high in the clouds she barely noticed entering the clearing, and Catra had to grab her to stop the woman from falling face-first into the hidden stream, which cut so indistinctly through the grassy field that even she hadn’t noticed it before the last minute. She’d merely shrugged it off with a chuckled and leaped to the other bank casually, while Catra had to balance her way across rocks to cross. The big woman grinned as she pulled her up onto the other Bank, and the Caitian had to resist the urge to wipe the smile off her face.

“C’mon Wildcat!” she grinned. “They’re already here!” she gestured over towards Glimmer and Perfuma, who stood next to a tall, thin ancient spire made of Purple-Grey rock that stood tall in the middle of the clearing. Glimmer was studying it curiously, by the Botanist had seen them and gave them a friendly wave.

“Scorpia!” she said cheerily. Glimmer glanced up indifferently, then went back to staring at her tricorder. The Security Chief wave an enthusiastic wave (nearly knocking Catra over) and bounded over to Scorpia, the flower flying as she ran.

“Perfuma! Look at all these flowers I found – oh, lemme just grab these ones I dropped – aren’t they so pretty! They were all along the track me and Catra were walking along! Hundreds of them!” They were both beaming at each other so much Catra could’ve used them as torches.

“They’re wonderful, Scorpia. They have such a lovely aura, and-“ Perfuma picked one of the flowers out of the Security Officer’s hands and slotted it into her hair. “I think they’re perfect for you.” Catra rolled her eyes, and strolled over to the spire, ignoring the agonizingly cute couple and walking up to Glimmer, who didn’t look up from her tricorder.

“Whatcha ‘doin, Sparkles?” she asked. Glimmer flicked her eyes to Catra in irritation then looked back down.

“I’m trying to- “she groaned in frustration. “I’m trying to figure out why exactly why this spire is giving off residual energy readings.

“…. residual readings? From a rock?” Catra raised her eyebrow.

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “What, you don’t believe me?”

“I never said that,” Catra hissed. “I’m just interested. Jesus Glimmer, why do you think I’m out to fuck with you?”

“Because you are?” she shot back.

“Oh please. If I wanted to fuck with you there are better and more efficient ways than this.”

“Uh-huh?”

“I could question your work. I could debate every decision you made. I could you on stick on the Nightwatch every night for a month. I could stop you and Mr. Sherwood working together-“Glimmer blushed at that – “or bring you up on the insubordination charges you rightly deserve.” Glimmer stared in shock. “But I won’t. Because you are an incredibly talented Scientist and a dedicated Officer. So no, I am not fucking with you.”

Glimmer gave her a weak look. “If you insist.”

Catra groaned. “Just let me look at the tricorder.” Glimmer blinked at her, then shoved the machine into her hands.

“It seemed to have powered up when we first arrived, then shut down again when we got closer,” Glimmer said, pacing around the round stone base that peeked up between the grassy meadow.

Catra studied the data with interest, while the Science Officer appeared to be studying her instead. “Thoughts on the Power source?” She asked. Glimmer didn’t say anything. “ _Lieutenant.”_

“Oh!- It looks like something underground. Part of a larger power relay system, by the look of it. Some of the other survey parties have picked up similar readings, though none have found anything like this.”

“Why didn’t we pick this up before?” Catra watched Glimmer think, her face contorted in thoughtfulness as opposed to the malice it had when she looked at Catra. She could easily imagine being friends with this abrasive, sharp, clever woman if she didn’t hate her guts.

“….it might only be activated if we are in a certain range of the device.”

“so what is it? A defense mechanism? A forcefield? Some form of a public medical scanner?” And why is it here, in the middle of this field?”

Glimmer snorted. “Who do I look like, a historian? All I know is it’s old, and powerful, and its’ here.” She ran a hand across the surface of the stone, where runes ran in lines and circles in patterns. “God, I’ve never seen a language like this before.” Catra stared at it. It seemed familiar in some way or another.

“Maybe Bow would know?” she suggested. Glimmer shrugged.

“Maybe, but-“They were interrupted by the hum of the transporter, and turned to see Adora and Bow materializing on the other side of the stream. Bow was holding a basket, which made Catra chuckle. Glimmer gave her a confused look. Adora took a step forward, spotted them, then made what Catra would now consider for time immemorial the biggest, dorkiest wave she’d ever seen from a Starship captain, jumping up and waving both arms in the air.

“Catra! Glimmer!” she yelled, then began to leap her way across the field, in much a similar way to how Catra’s heart was currently leaping as she watched the Blonde woman run towards her, her hair waving in the light breeze, beaming from ear to ear as she came towards them. “Look at that!” she yelled back at Bow, pointing as she ran at the big spire. _God, I'm so screwed,_ Catra thought to herself as she knew she was unable to take eyes off of Adora.

“What a dork,” Catra murmured to herself. She was so enraptured in watching Adora that she barely noticed what she was running towards without much of a care in the world. Suddenly Adora stumbled, and Catra yelled in panic as the Captain disappeared from view with a muffled yelp. She sprinted across the field, her mind full of panicked images of Adora crashing into rocks or slipping downstream in the fast-flowing water. She skilled to a halt on the hidden bank and was confronted with a giggling Adora behind hauled out by an equally mirthful Bow. “Ador-Captain!” she said, her tone filled more with irritation instead of fear or anger. The Captain, who had quite clearly gone into the stream headfirst and was thus soaked head to toe, grinned at her as water dripped off of her hair, tunic, pants and boots while Bow glanced around fruitlessly for something to use to dry himself off.

“I’m ok, _Commander_ ,” she said with a grin. “It’s just a bit of water, no harm done.” Catra felt herself relax, then blinked as she saw Adora stumble for a second. Adora caught her eye. “It’s just a sprain, no need to call the Doctor.”

Catra grinned. “I’ll give you a hand.” She took Adora’s arm, ignoring how much her skin burned at the touch, then began to walk with Adora, how seemed to be rather content with herself about the whole thing. “Why are you so pleased with yourself?”

She shrugged. “It’s kinda nice to be all gung-ho, even if it was kinda by accident.”

Catra snorted. “What, because you got too excited about a big old lump of rock?”

“No,” she said, still smiling, “because I get to hang out down here with you and all my other friends.” Catra felt her face burn up like a supernova.

“…huh.” Adora was still grinning. _Quick Catra, change the subject._ “You know, this is a big improvement from the last time you feel in a river.”

Adora blinked. “What are you…” she suddenly flinched. “Oh, no no no no….”

“What other time The Captain fell in a river, “Bow asked curiously, but with more than a hint of deviousness. Catra laughed.

“You haven’t told them about your Blind date with Jim Kirk.”

“WHAT?” Glimmer shrieked. They were now within earshot of the others, and Catra watched Adora cringe as she untangled herself from her and stumbled away, with a look of mild betrayal in her eyes. Scorpia and Perfuma sat on the grass _very_ close to each other and stared curiously at the unfolding scene.

“Seriously? You didn’t tell them?”

“Wha-What was I meant to tell them?”

“THAT YOU NEARLY DATED JIM KIRK!” Sparkles screamed again.

“I did not!” Adora yelled back. “It wasn’t like that! I don’t even like men!”

“I KNOW, THAT’S WHY IT’S CRAZY!”

“What was it like then?” Bow asked, trying not to sound too excited.

“I’m—I’m not telling,” Adora said with a Huff.

“Why not!”

“Uh, because it was genuinely the worst day of my life and if I could remove it from my mind I would?”

“Fine then,” Glimmer huffed, then she spun round to face the Caitian. “Catra! You tell us.”

“Lieutenant Commander Weaver if you so much as utter a single word on the matter-“

“What do you wanna know, Sparkles?” Catra smirked. Adora groaned, then slumped to the floor and sat on the grass in defeat, her head hidden between her arms and knees.

“Everything you remember!” she said, as she and Bow sat down and leaned back against the Stone base of the Spire.

“Please don’t, “Adora murmured.

“C’mon, Captain, it’s a fun story,” Bow ventured. Catra glanced at them, then crouched next to Adora.

“You know, if you don’t want me to tell them I won’t,” she said softly. Adora looked up at her from between her arms. “I promise.”

Adora looked up at her, and Catra recognized the gratefulness in her eyes. “…thank you,” she whispered, “but I’ll be alright. Just-“she smiled weakly for a second, and Catra’s heart tumbled – “try not to make me sound too stupid.”

“S-sure,” she replied, before sitting properly. The Picnic basket (which bow had packet rather well) had been opened, and Catra found herself being handed a rather crisp looking egg and cress sandwich by Perfuma. She glanced at it, then to Adora, who behind a mask of mock betrayal seemed to Catra to be anticipating the story. Filing that information away, she leant back and propped herself on one arm with a smile.

“Don’t worry about missing any details Sparkles, I remember it like it was yesterday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you want that Kirk story, huh?
> 
> leave me Kudos and Comments and you might get it.
> 
> Also I know it's Chapter six but p l o t will finally be occuring next chapter, I promise


	7. The Flowers of Etheria, Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Kirk Scene Kirk Scene  
> You: Kirk Scene Kirk Scene  
> Me: KIRK SCENE KIRK SCENE  
> You: KIRK SCENE KIRK SCENE

**Spring 2254**

Catra wasn’t sulking. Catra didn’t sulk. She especially didn’t sulk by playing Life on Mars on repeat for thirty minutes. And she especially didn’t sulk because her best friend was on a date right now. Of course not. None of that could be true, because Catra didn’t sulk. She just stared at the ceiling, trying not to think about the fact that all week Adora had been talking about this stupid blind date. When Gary _fucking_ Mitchell, the cocky asshole had strolled up to the in the cafeteria and asked Adora if she was still up for that blind date he’d offered her.

Catra thought he was joking, but then she saw the defiant smirk in her friend’s eye when she said yes, and watch in muted horror as Mitchell then gave her details for the meeting place. Part of her had wanted to scream, to tell Adora it was all a stupid idea and that she was insane, but the look of excitement – yes, excitement, on her dorky blonde friends’ face as they’d walked to their Interstellar Politics seminar had shut her up. _I’m a good friend_ , she told herself, _so I’ll support her_.

So Catra was a supportive best friend, even while she gritted her teeth and swallowed her snide comments. She listened all week while Adora fretting over crazy details and dragged herself away from her Tellarite Sociology paper to help Adora get ready for this date. She’d shut down the red dress she’d pulled out, instead of handing over her grey pants and white compression shirt, before finishing it with the stupid red bomber jacket Adora kept from High School. She looked hot, even standing there, nervously fiddling with her hair poof in the mirror in her dorm’s bathroom, and Catra tried to suppress that ache that swayed up and down through her heart as she watched Adora pace up and down the room in the late afternoon light. She had felt that way this week, watching her friend get excited about this _other person_. Why exactly she’d agreed to a blind date of all things confused Catra. She knew how much Adora liked to have a plan, and how could she plan for someone she had no knowledge of? The idiot had just waved it off and said that she “wanted to live a little.”

I mean what was wrong with it, really? Catra had dated around a bit in her time at the academy. None of it had lasted very long, and could barely remember their faces, let alone their names. She probably remembered her casual hookups better than she remembered then. It didn’t really matter to her, or to Adora, who always just seemed happy to know that Catra was happy. So why didn’t Catra feel the same way back? _I do,_ she told herself.

_Then why am I still lying on our bed listening to Bowie?_

Catra groaned, and turned around, shoving her face into the cool darkness of the pillow, and listened to muffled sounds from her speaker.

Catra was being a good friend. She was just…worried for Adora. Worried about what other people could do to her, hurt her, leave her vulnerable, and break her down as others had in the past. She didn’t deserve that, never, and Catra, a long time ago, had promised to protect her friend from all that. Adora was a bit of an idiot, but she was Catra’s idiot. Kind, funny, delightfully dorky in her obsessions with horses and swords and the way she’d prance about to Catra’s music in some pretension towards she would never let anyone get away with messing with her heart. That was what this was, Catra being protective, like a good friend. Nothing more to it than that. Honest.

She rolled back over to stare at the ceiling, focusing on the dark stain where the bottle of cider she’d brought in here after Adora’s fight Hockey game had exploded and smashed into the ceiling. There was a warmth to that memory as it flowed through her, and it made her feel a little better. _It’s just one date,_ she thought. _And hell, as long as that dork is happy, I’m happy, right?_ The Brunette thought about Adora’s goofy smile and basked in the glow it gave her. _It’s worth it for that, right?_

Catra was about to sit up and start doing some work when she heard her door chime. She paused for a second, not quite sure what to do (Catra did _not_ get visitors who were not the Warden or Adora, and she hadn’t done anything to warrant the warden’s visit _yet_ ). The chime sounded again, then she jolted as a fist began pounding on the door. She hopped up and opened the door. She opened her mouth to make a snide comment but was knocked aside by a large, blonde, soaking wet mass that shoved past her and disappeared into the bathroom. As Catra picked herself up, she heard the Bathroom door clicking shut, then the sound of quiet sobs from the other side. What the hell had happened? It took 15 minutes to get from here to the Quad and back, so what exactly had happened that means that Adora had left and _immediately_ come back, soaking wet?

Tentatively, she crossed the room to the door. She paused, then knocked, and there was a whimper from the other side.

“Adora?” she asked. There was another quiet sob. “Can I come in?” No reply. Catra sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m just gonna sit here, ok?” She slid down the door and sat on the floor against it, listening to the sounds that echoed in the small bathroom. She listened to the sounds from the other side of the door, counting the breaths as Adora followed the calming exercises they had both learned together when they had been rescued from the Straczynski Colony, her breaths getting longer and deeper every time she exhaled. Finally, Catra heard her getting up and stood up as well. Adora opened the door. She was – well she was soaking. All of her clothes were waterlogged, and Catra could see a puddle at her feet where she’d obviously sat in it. She looked so fearful, and Catra immediately reached out and pulled her into a hug, and which point Adora started sobbing again.

“It’s ok, Adora, it’s ok.” Catra soothed, patting her friend on her back. She felt Adora nod, then the blonde woman untangled herself.

“I-I should change,” she said, and for the first time, Catra noticed that she was shivering a little.

“You should probably have a shower,” Catra suggested with a smirk. Adora gave her a weak laugh back.

“Y-Yeah.” She smiled, then stepped past Catra to open her wardrobe, grabbing the spare clothes that she kept in Catra’s dorm room, before walking back into the bathroom. Catra heard the sound of the shower start, then went and sat down on the edge of her bed. She grabbed her guitar from where it leaned against the wall and began to strum slowly, trying not to overthink what she’d say to Adora when she came out of the show, trying not to get angry at whoever exactly had hurt her friend.

She barely noticed the sound of the shower stopping, or the feeling of the bed sagging as the Blonde Girl sat next to her. She flinched when Adora leaned her head on her shoulder, but she kept strumming, know that the mellow tune would help to bring her friend down from whatever spiral she was heading into.

“Can you sing, please,” Adora asked, softly, but Catra detected the pleading note in her voice easily. The tension in her shoulders could be felt even from here, and Catra could hear her heart thumping loudly. Catra nodded and began to murmur the words quietly so that only Adora could hear her.

_“Didn't know what time it was, the lights were low_

_I leaned back on my radio_

_Some cat was layin down some rock 'n' roll_

_"Lotta soul," he said_

_Then the loud sound did seem to fade_

_Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase_

_That weren't no DJ, that was hazy cosmic jive”_

She strummed chorus chords with enthusiasm and felt Adora sway with them as she played with Catra's long mane of hair.

_“There's a starman waiting in the sky_

_He'd like to come and meet us_

_But he thinks he'd blow our minds_

_There's a starman waiting in the sky_

_He's told us not to blow it_

_'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile_

_He told me_

_Let the children lose it_

_Let the children use it_

_Let all the children boogie”_

Even now she could feel the tension easing from Adora’s body as she swayed side to side with the music, and she glanced up to see the girl smiling, her eyes closed as she began to tap her fingers along – on Catra’s thigh, mind you – to the music. Catra would’ve flinched if she hadn’t been so enraptured in the music, and her friend, her hair still wet from the shower and sticking to the back of her shirt.

_“He told me_

_Let the children lose it_

_Let the children use it_

_Let all the children boogie”_

As she played the outro, Adora hummed along idly, her mind somewhere else, and Catra tried not to watch her pretty friend as she played the final chords, and delicately place the guitar down.

“Thank you,” Adora said, pulling her friend in for a hug. Catra flinched slightly at the sudden intimacy, and from contact with her damp friend, but then she eased into it.

“It’s alright,” Catra said. “I know how much you like that song.” Adora smiled weakly.

“I- I really needed that.”

“I know,” Catra said. “Can I ask?” Adora looked confused. “What happened?” Catra said, suppressing her mild irritation.

“Oh.” Adora, rubbed the back of her neck, “It’s kinda embarrassing?”

“Adora, I need to know if I need to go and kick some preppy girl’s ass for standing you up or something.” Adora reddened immediately. “Seriously though, if you don’t want to tell me yet that’s alright, I shouldn’t have-“

“No, no, I’m ok,” Adora said with a wave of her hand. “So-so I got to the Quad, and Gary said to meet by the bridge near the Archer memorial, and I got there and I couldn’t see anyone, then suddenly on the other side- the side by that big tree- I see-“

She pauses, and Catra thinks she’s about to cry, but instead, she lets out a little, insanely cute giggle. “I saw Jim Kirk.”

“Jim Kirk?” Catra blinked. “As in, dorky, bookish, Command school junior instructor Jim Kirk? The one the straight girls swoon over for some reason?” Adora nodded.

“Y-yeah, and he’s standing there, holding a massive bouquet of flowers-“ Catra snorted. “So I look at him, and he looks at me, and-“ she giggles again, and as much as Catra needs to hear where this is going, she can’t help but savor how much her heart _leaps_ at that noise – “and we both walk towards each other so we’re standing on the bridge, and he gives me this weird look and says ‘fancy seeing you here, Ms. Gray.’”

“Did he really call you Ms. Gray?” Catra snorted.

“Yeah, he did! Anyway, me being an idiot, I just say, ‘I’m meeting someone for a date.’” Adora swallows nervously, fiddling a thread on her sweatpants. “Then he-“ Adora makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a squawk, “and then he says ‘so am I’.”

“Oh shit,” Catra said, trying not to laugh as Adora's face became even redder. “Ohhh shit, that fucker wasn’t-“

Adora nodded quickly, obviously trying to get through the story before she breaks down. “And then he makes this weird gesture with the bouquet and me, and only then do I realize that-“

Catra cuts her off, “-that Gary fucking Mitchell set you up with Jim fucking Kirk.”

“Yup,” Adora says, popping the p as she falls back to lie on the bed.

“What happened next?”

“I….” Adora looks away. “I may have panicked.”

“ _Adora_.”

“He gave me this weird look and I took a step towards me and I panicked and-“ she turned back around, and Catra was caught in her grey-blue eyes again. “You know how all the bridges have, like, really low sides?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well he- oh god, he- stepped towards me, and I panicked, and I-“ she took a deep breath. “I may have pushed him over the side of the bridge.”  
“Adora!” Catra yelled.

“I was freaking out, and he was stepping into me, and I thought he was gonna hand me the flowers, or-“ she shuddered- “kiss me, or something horrible and heterosexual, so I just-” she twisted her finger through a strand of hair “pushed him. And he went over the side, and –“

“He grabbed out for something, grabbed you, and pulled you in.” Adora rolled over so she was face down on the bed and groaned. “Adora, you know you’re an idiot, right.”

“Yes,” came the muffled reply from the bed.

“So you both fell in the stream, then you, what? Freaked out, jumped out of the stream, then ran all the way here, soaking wet just to make sure he didn’t catch up with you and what, profess love at first sight?”

“…maybe?”

“You’re such a dummy.”

Adora looked up from the bed. “Not helping, Catra. I just chucked my Command instructor in a goddamn stream, then left him there, then on Monday I have to go to a seminar he’s leading and-“

She groaned into the bedsheets. “I’m so screwed.”

“Listen, he’s the one who tried to kiss you, and besides,” Catra said, pulling her friend up and taking her hand, “if he tries to fuck with you I’ll kick his ass.”

“My hero,” Adora snarked, “beating up the hets for me.”

“Nothing but the best for you,” Catra said with a smirked, pulling Adora in for a hug. “Seriously though, if you want me to kick his ass, I will. In fact, I’ll kick the ass of any moron who dates you and fucks you over.” She ignored how tense she felt about the concept of anyone dating Adora at all in the first place.

“Thanks, Catra.” Adora sniffled a bit in her arms. “Why am I so useless?”

“Your words, not mine.”

“ _Catra.”_

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok, but-“suddenly there was a knock on the door. “You expecting anyone?”

Catra shook her head. “Who is it?” she yelled.

“It’s Jim Kirk,” came the voice from behind the door. Adora’s eyes went wide and Catra felt her start to scramble.

“Shit, shit, shit-“she began to murmur, leaping over the bed and running into the Bathroom.

“what are you doing?” Catra hissed.

“Hiding!” she hissed back from behind the closed door.

“There?”

“Yeah!”

“Why not-“there was another knock. “Alright, Alright,” she griped, glancing back at the closed bathroom door before smoothing her shirt down, taking a deep breath, and opening the door. The blonde-haired senior cadet stood before her, dripping wet head to toe, his mop of hair flattened onto his scalp, his grey dress shirt and blue pants sticking to his body. He shivered slightly, but he still managed to give Catra a small smile. He was, inexplicably, still grasping onto a bundle of sodden, wrecked flowers.

“Catra, right?”

“What’s up, Jimmy boy?”

The senior cadet twitched slightly at the nickname. Catra would have regretting using Finnegan’s nickname if she wasn’t so pissed off at him.

“Is Adora, here, by any chance?” he said tentatively. Catra raised an eyebrow. “Well I went to her quarters, and there was no one there, and I know you two are very close friends, so if she was anywhere, she’d be with you, correct?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “She’s not here. What’s your beef with her anyway?”

“Well- “Kirk rubbed the back of his neck, “if I were to say it was complicated, would you believe me?”

“No.”

“So, do you want an explanation or- “

“An explanation for what?”

“For why I’m looking for Adora?”

Catra growled, and Kirk gave her a nervous look. “Try me.”

“Ok, so you know Gary Mitchell-“

“that Asshole,” Catra hissed.

“Yes, that Asshole,” Kirk agreed, much to Catra’s surprise. “He set me up on a blind date, and apparently he did the same for Adora, and decide not to tell either of us that.”

“That’s, like, kinda the point of a blind date, Kirk,” she hissed.

“-Yeah, I suppose it is,” he said sheepishly. “But the point I’m making is I didn’t know that Adora was coming.”

“Uh-huh.” Catra said, crossing her arms.

“I was expecting someone else, and then she was there as well, and So I kind of, panicked? And I think she did as well?”

“What do you mean, panicked?”

“Well-“Kirk paused, thinking, and Catra stared at his face curiously. There didn’t appear to be any malice, or sneering arrogance, or leering looks on Kirk’s face. The only thing she could see was…embarrassment? Shame? He did certainly look less like he was here to court Adora than apologise to her. _Then again, he did try to kiss her_. “I think she thought I was going to kiss her?”

Catra snorted. “By ‘thought’, do you mean, ‘I was going to but then she made it clear she didn’t want it’?”

Kirk blinked. “Am I really that bad?”

“You’re a blonde with a decent smile who learnt how to use a shower, I’ve seen your himbo-ass type before.” Kirk raised an eyebrow. “Shut up.”

“The point I’m trying to make is that I am distinctly aware that my ‘himbo-ass type’-“ hearing him say those words nearly broke Catra’s mind- “is not exactly something that Adora would be interested in.”

“Oh really?” she hissed. “What makes you think that?”  
He gave her a weird look. “Do you not remember the icebreaker fact sheets I made everyone fill out on your first day in my class?”

Catra blinked. “No?”

“You wrote in the Initial thoughts section, ‘this class is dumb, and the instructor needs to stop wearing platforms in his shoes’.”

“Ohhh, yeah,” Catra said. “I thought you just made those to learn all our names.”

“I like actually know something about the people I’m trying to teach.”

“God, you’re such a nerd,” she groaned.

“Thank you,” he said with a dumb smile. “Anyway, Adora filled in hers properly, and so-“he made a gesture with his hands. “-I know she’s gay.”

“Bit weird to remember that from a form she made out last September. Creepy, perhaps”

“I think I’m gonna remember the form written entirely in cursive with coloring pencils and pride flags in every corner,” he said tediously.

“God, she’s such a dork,” Catra said with a chuckle.

“So that’s why I had no intention of doing anything like-“he paused, thinking about how to phrase it.

“Having your Himbo-ass way with her?” Catra suggested? Kirk groaned.

“Yes, that.”

“Good,” she said firmly. “So what exactly were you doing?”

He gave her a nervous look. “Well, she was panicking, obviously, and I thought she was going to fall backward off the bridge- “he chuckled, earning a curious look from Catra. “Well, I can see how she thought I was some leery jock from the Command school, now.”

“And you’re aren’t?” Catra chuckled. “I can see why Adora freaked out when someone as aggressively straight as you leaned in.” What she didn’t expect was the chuckle that erupted from Jim Kirk as he stood there dripping on the carpet.

“Am I really that bad?” he laughed. “Jesus, Gary was right, I am aggressively straight sometimes.” Catra gave him a questioning look. “Gary Mitchell and I dated three years ago.” Catra raised an eyebrow at that. “Oh, of course, you weren’t here, but still, “he said with a smile. “You’re clever people, you could’ve figured it out.”

“I had other priorities,” Catra muttered.

“Of course,” Kirk said, with a glint in his eye.

“Shut up.”

“Fine.”

“So why are you here now?” Catra asked suddenly. “You could’ve sent her a message or something, instead of standing in the corridor dripping all over the carpet holding a bunch of tattered flowers.” Kirk glanced at the bunch, surprised to see he was still holding them, but then seemed to realize there wasn’t anywhere really to put them. “Well- she just sort of jumped up and ran, and left me there, and-“ he gave her a sheepish look. “I sorta get why? But I should really apologize. Now, instead of letting her spiral all weekend.”

Catra nodded slowly. “Sensible.”

“So…”

“So what?”

“Is she here?”

Catra gave him a blank look, then sighed. “ADORA!” There was a clunk from the bathroom. She sighed. “Gimme a sec.” She left him at the door (thankfully, he deferred from dripping more water in her room) and went to the bathroom door, which she opened to find Adora clutching a towel. “How much of that did you hear?”

“…none?” she said sheepishly. “I put a towel over my ears and tried to tune the pain out.” Catra groaned, then grabbed her and pushed her out of the bathroom, ignoring the panicked yelp.

“Go talk to him, you dummy,” she said, finally shoving the blonde girl forward so she staggered into the doorway, where a surprisingly non-plussed Jim Kirk still stood.

“Hi, Adora,” he said, with a small smile.

“Hi.” She said, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Listen-“

“I’m-“  
“You first, please,” Kirk said. Adora blinked, then breathed, then glanced back at Catra, who was now sitting on the bed watching this farce continue.

“I’m-“ Catra watched Adora force herself to look at him. “I’m sorry that I pushed you in the stream. I kinda freaked out, and you were all in my face and you were leaning in and-“ Kirk opened his mouth to talk but Adora kept babbling- “And you’re really nice and smart and all but you’re my course instructor and that’s kinda not a great relationship, and beyond that point, I don’t really-“

“I know you don’t like men,” Kirk cut in, causing Adora’s babbling and slightly crazed gesticulation to stop while she stared at him for a second.

“…How?”

“Adora, you’re the least straight person I’ve ever met.” She raised an eyebrow at that. “You make Finger guns at me at me every time you see me.”

“Seriously?”

“It was also on your Icebreaker sheet.”

“How do you remember that?”

Catra snorted. “You doodled pride flags on it you dummy,” she said, fiddling with her guitar.

“Oh.” She said, giving kirk a nervous look. “But if you knew I was gay, then-“

“Firstly, it’s a blind date.” Adora blinked.

“She’s still dealing with that concept,” Catra called from in the room, and watched as Adora relaxed slightly at the jibe.

“You’re my best student, and you don’t understand how a blind date works?”

Adora groaned. “Don’t rub it in, Jim.”

“Please do,” Catra added. Kirk chuckled.

“Secondly, Gary is…” he paused, looking for the words “not very observant.” Adora gave him a weird look. “Like, ‘couldn’t see another gay person if they were standing in front of him waving a rainbow flag’ not observant.”

“So he didn’t know I’m not into men?”

“No.”

“So this-“ Adora gestured between them – “happened because your ex can’t spot the gays?”

“Yes,” Kirk said with a sigh of defeat.

“Oh.” Adora seemed both more relaxed, but also more confused. “So what was the bit where you leaned in about?”

“You were about to fall into the river.” Adora blinked.

“Seriously.”

“Those bridges are not very wide,” Kirk added as if that somehow explained how much of a klutz Adora was. “I was trying to prevent-“ he gestured at himself. “Well, this.”  
“Oh god!” Adora said, suddenly realizing that he was still in his completely soaked clothes. “I’m so sorry! Catra, can you get a towel or-“

“I’m fine,” Kirk said, dismissing Adora’s frantic searching for a spare towel, but then he begrudgingly accepted the T-shirt she picked up (Catra would complain about that violation later) and shoved it in his hands.

“Thanks?” he said, as he tentatively used it to mop his face, before looking down at the flowers still in his hand. “Can I-“Adora took them from his hands and dumped them in Catra’s bin gingerly.

“I’m sorry, they were nice flowers.”

“Please stop apologizing,” Kirk insisted.

“Sorry.” He gave her a look, and she smiled back.

“Are you two done?” Catra said with a note of irritation. “You aren’t planning to stand in my doorway all night chatting, right?”

“Oh! I mean-“

“You’re staying, Adora,” she said firmly. “What about you, Jimbo?”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Whatever.”

“What are you doing now?” Adora asked.

Kirk looked down at himself. “Having a shower, I think,” he said sarcastically.

“Oh! Of course!” Adora said dumbly. “I’ll see you around? Outside of class, I mean?”

Catra groaned. “Adora, are you trying to hang out with the dude you tried to drown.”

“Shut up, Catra,” she replied.

“That’d be fun,” Kirk replied. “You could help me get revenge on Gary. I’m…not so good with the practical joke side of things.”

“That sounds fun,” Adora said with a smile.

Catra groaned. “Stop being a teachers’ pet, Adora.” Adora took no notice.

“I should really go, though,” Kirk said. “I think this carpet’s gonna start molding otherwise. He poked his head in past Adora. “Look after her Catra, alright?”

“Whatever, Jimmy,” she said, not looking up from the guitar.

“ _Catra.”_ She looked up to see him giving her a firm, but reassuring look. “I mean it.” She blinked, trying to figure out what he meant.

“…Sure.” He seemed accepting of that reply, then stepped back into the corridor. Adora stood there for a second, then shut Catra’s door and shuffled over to the bed, humming to herself.

“Thank fuck he’s gone,” the Caitian said. “I thought he’d yammer on there forever.”

“He’s nice,” Adora said with a smile. “I like him.”

“He’s a massive dork,” Catra added.

“So am I,” Adora countered.

“Yeah, but you’re my dork,” Catra replied, inwardly smacking herself for saying something so soft, but then Adora grinned and pulled her in for a hug, which she found herself accepting.

“You still smell of Pondweed,” Catra hissed.

“That’s not my problem,” she replied, tightening the hug. Catra shrugged to herself. “Thank you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“Looking after me.”

“Anytime, Dumbass.”

****

That was more or less how Catra told it, but with more embellishment, and leaving room for the laughter and whispered reactions from the others. It wasn’t a long story, but it was a good one, and one that Catra very rarely had the chance to tell – as much as _everyone_ who had met Captain Kirk had a story to tell, hers was..unique, and certainly more enjoyable. There were definitely bits she didn’t tell them about – Kirk’s insinuations towards Catra’s feelings for her friend were to remain between them and them alone – but there was enough there to leave everyone satisfied and highly amused with the disastrous escapades of their Captain.

“I can’t believe you nearly drowned James T. Kirk!” Bow giggled, giving Adora a look of mock horror. “How could you!”

“I did not drown Jim! He’s the own who grabbed me and pulled me in with him!” Adora shot back, but her mouth was curled upwards and she was giggling along with the other. Catra had been scared that she might’ve crossed a line here, but as she’d got into the flow of the story Adora had begun to fill parts in as she went. She almost seemed happy to actually talk about it. It felt comfortable to be able to make fun of Adora again, and know she was enjoying it.

“I still can’t believe you both know James T. Kirk,” Perfuma said. “He has always seemed to resonate such strength in the face of adversity to me.”

Catra snorted. “He’s also a massive dork.” Glimmer raised an eyebrow at her. “C’mon Sparkles, his middle name is Tiberius.” Scorpia (and Perfuma, actually) but snorted loudly.

“Seriously!” Scorpia said excitedly, while Perfuma giggled next to her. “Man, I wish I had as cool a middle name as Tiberius.”

“Now Scorpia, I think Anastasia is a very beautiful middle name,” Perfuma said, making Scorpia’s cheeks turn the same color as her tunic. Catra rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” she said, “I wasn’t really friends with Jim, that was all Adora’s doing.” She jerked a thumb at Adora, who was staring dreamily at her from where she sat, and Catra swore that Adora had fallen asleep when suddenly her eye’s widened and she sat upright. “You alright there, Captain?”

“I-yeah, I’m ok!” she said hurriedly, and Catra caught the shared look of amusement Bow and Glimmer shard behind her.

“You and Kirk are friends?” Scorpia continued excitedly, ignorant of _whatever_ was going on there.

“Well- I wouldn’t say we were friends,” Adora stammered. “He taught my Command class for a bit-“

“You also pushed him into the river in the academy quad,” Glimmer pointed out.

“I did also push him into the river in the academy quad,” Adora nodded in acceptance, thinking. Catra caught herself (once again) staring dumbly at her friend’s face as she furrowed her brow in thought. It was cute. Ok, that was a lie, it was in fact extremely cute and made Catra’s brain stop working, but she could deal with that. Maybe. “I suppose we have kept in touch since then,” she mused. “Yeah, I’d say I’m friends with Jim. I think.” She looked up at the group.

“Shame you didn’t get to date him,” Glimmer mused, “I mean, you’re gay, so there was like *zero* chance of that ever happening ever, but like,” she shrugged her shoulders, “you’d be like a real Starfleet power couple.”

Catra burst out laughing. “I won’t lie to you Sparkes, two blonde dorks throwing themselves into danger without thinking about it beforehand is about as Starfleet as it gets.”

“Hey! I think about the danger beforehand!”

“Captain, you literally fell into a river to get her because you were too excited to look where you were going.”

“Yeah, but that’s not exactly danger, is it,” Adora grumped.

“Don’t defend yourself you goof,” she said, giving Adora a friendly shove. She giggled and shoved back, Catra blushing as their hands touched briefly. She looked away, as Adora did the same.

“Did we get a good look at that?” Adora was pointing at the spire, which still loomed over them in the midday sun. Glimmer shrugged.

“All we know is it scanned us for some reason when we first arrived, but it hasn’t done anything since. I think it has a voice-activated interface, but I can’t tell you how unless you can read 1000-year-old writing.”

“1000-year-old?” Adora said, incredulous. Catra nodded as they all stood up.

“That thing is old, but it’s still working. Sparkle’s detected an external power source keeping it running.”

“God knows where it is,” Glimmer said in frustration. “Where would you put a power source on this planet? We’ve got no signs of settlement – nothing on the civilizational scale that would be able to generate this kind of power so distant from anywhere.”

“Well,” Adora said as they reached the Spire, “Maybe this wasn’t so far from anywhere when it was built.” The Captain stared in awe at the carvings on the spire, running her hands along with the smaller carved writing at eye level along the plinth. Suddenly, Adora’s eyes went from thoughtful to alert, excited, and – there was something else.

“Are you alright, sir?” Bow asked.

“This….” She turned to Catra, and Catra saw that her eyes were watering slightly. “This is old Ethernian.”

“My God,” Catra breathed, and she felt Adora clutching her hand. “That’s what-“

“What Mara taught me….” Adora breathed back, running her hands along the writing. “It’s here.”

“…what’s going on?” Glimmer asked, less irritated and more confused. Adora took a deep breath and turned to face her and the rest of the landing party and Catra felted a hitch in her throat when she realized Adora was still holding her hand.

“The writing is in Etherian, the language of the First Ones. They – or more specifically, the Etherian Empire, ruled a large amount of this sector millennia ago before they disappeared.”

“What happened to them?” Perfuma asked.

“No one knows. War, strife, famine, A star went Supernova, you name it, there’s a theory. Whatever happened, about 2000 years ago they began to fade away until about a millennium ago, there was no sign of them.”

“How you do know this is Etherian then?” Bow asked.

“My-“Adora took a deep breath and squeezed Catra’s hand tighter. “My sister, Mara. She- she was in Starfleet as well, but before she joined she was an Archaeologist, and she was devoted to the Etherians. She wanted to be the person who figured it out. What happened to them, where they were from, how they lived.” Adora blinked a couple of tears out of her eyes. “The planet I- Catra and I grew up on, the Straczynski Colony, had been an Etherian colony at some point. Their architecture was everywhere, Mara learned their language, and she taught me as much as she could before she- she left. So,” she gave a goofy smile in that Adora way she did to lighten any situation, “here we are.” Catra gripped her hand tightly. _It’s ok,_ she wanted to say, but part of her knew Adora knew it was ok.

“Your sister sounds like a very special person to you, Captain,” Perfuma said tenderly. Adora gave a small nod.

“She-she was. After the attack on the Straczynski Colony, she was all I had left and all she had. We were everything to each other. We gave each other something to live for when we had nothing to keep us going.” She took a deep breath. “She passed about six years ago, and it-" Catra had to look again now, hiding her own feelings of shame from Adora and the others. "It hurt a lot. She was a good sister and a good Starfleet Officer, and I miss her every day.” They were still holding each other's hands.

“She’d be proud of you,” Perfuma says. Adora nods quickly, then looks back up at the writing.

“What does it say?” Glimmer asked. Part of Catra was irritated at her insistence, but Adora seemed relieved by the distraction and turned to run her hand along the plinth.

“First one’s is a phonetic language. The syllables of each word are hung off the main branch, so it’s a little hard to read, so give me a second.” Adora peered at the writing while the others watch curiously. “Alwyn….automated….communications…..hub.”

“It’s a communications device,” Glimmer breathed in wonder.

“There’s more,” Adora said. “State….target…to begin…communication.” She stood back from the writing, taking it all in.

“Anyone know any Etherian planets?” Catra snarked.

“I don’t think those will be in the star charts,” Scorpia said, still staring dumbly at the spire.

“..let me try,” Adora said. She took a deep breath. “Eternia!” she yelled dramatically. Nothing happened, and she turned sheepish to face them. Suddenly, every carving on the plinth began to light up in an eery blue-green shade, pulsing up and down the length. Everyone took a step back, suddenly.

“Woah,” Bow breath.

“Look!” Perfuma said, pointing across the grass, where fractals and lines of light shot across the meadow in strange, beautiful paths into the forest. A light, ancient hum of power flowing could be heard, and Catra notice that Glimmer and Bow had both flipped their tricorders open to take readings.

“Picking anything up yet?”

“A lot of power, that’s what,” Glimmer said without looking up. “We’re going to have to re-calibrate before we can-“ she was cut off by a loud, toneless voice that seemed to come out of nowhere, speaking unintelligibly. Catra whipped around, her small Type 1 Phaser drawn, Scorpia pointing her pincer- mounted phaser in the direction of the woods. They both relaxed slightly after a second as their fight or flight senses cooled.

“It’s Etherian…” Adora breathed.

“What?” Catra said.

“It’s old Etherian. Spoken out loud, for the first time in 1000 years or more.” Adora looked so happy, so in awe, and Catra couldn’t help but feel amazed by that knowledge as well. “It’s…like music. Even in that tone, it flows.”

“It’s weirdly beautiful,” Catra agreed. “Why hasn’t the universal translator kicked in?”

“It’s not a miracle device,” Bow huffed, holding a cylindrical device up to the spire. “Give it a second to deal with the syntax.” Catra raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m working it as fast as I can, ok? Hopefully Etherian shares roots with a language in the database, or we’re screwed.”

“Let’s not give up our faith in the power of technology yet, Bow,” Adora mused, still smiling at the spire, so enthralled in it, she practically jumped into the air when her communicator chirped in her back pocket. “Grey here.”

“ _Captain, we’re picking up large energy spikes across the planet,”_ Lonnie’s voice sounded concerned, but not exactly alarmed. _“Four of the other landing parties have reported Spires similar to the one Lieutenant Brightmoon found all activating.”_

“Anything dangerous?” Adora asked.

“ _No sir,_ ” Yeoman Shackleton replied. “ _Scans show a buildup in power at several locations, some larger, some smaller, but we aren’t picking up any signs of any defense systems being activated. Then again, we didn’t pick the power sources up until they activated, so there’s a good chance we might have missed them as well.”_

“Understood.” Adora started back up at the Spire, which was still talking at them. “Keep us posted. Captain out.” She flipped it closed, and sighed. “Any luck Bow?”

“Hold on, I think it’s-”

“ **Contact with Eternia is impossible at this time due to a power drain on this system. Please report to the Alwyn control center if communication is urgent. Contact with Eternia is impossible at this moment-“**

“Control center?” Adora glanced around the clearing. “What control center?” Suddenly one of the light paths on the ground began to light up red, startling Scorpia, who had been kneeling down next to it.

“ **Follow the designated path to the center.”**

“Oh, uh, Thank you?” Adora said, as Catra facepalmed. “C’mon guys, let’s go.”

“Wait,” Glimmer said, still looking into her tricorder. “I think that each of these paths leads to a different spire, or structure of some kind. I’m picking up similar signatures only about a mile and a half away along each path.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “What are you suggesting? We split up and search for clues?” Glimmer shrugged.

“Basically.”

“Alright,” Adora said, eyeing the exits from the clearing. “Scorpia, Perfuma, you take the south path. Bow, Glimmer, the one to the north-west. Catra and I will take the one to the control center.”

“Captain-“ Glimmer began “Surely I should go to the control center with you?”

“I’ll be fine Glim,” Adora said. “I don’t need to be babysat. Check-in every 30 minutes, understood?” They all nodded. “Let’s go.”

***

The path to the control center was surprisingly easy – it made Catra wonder if the animal track she’d walked down earlier with Scorpia had been left by the first ones – but it was leading her and Adora deeper and deeper into the forest, and the going was getting tougher and tougher as they went

Adora didn’t mind at all. She was practically leaping across fallen trees and over rocks in excitement, constantly hurrying Catra along. It was- it was kind of charming in a way, and it warmed Catra’s heart to see her excited about this, even if she was beginning to get a little winded. It was just like being kids again, scrambling through the bush outside Molari station on their own little adventures, Adora pretending to be some dumb sword-wielding princess, Catra leaping from tree to tree above her day long until their parents came out to drag them back in for dinner. Catra felt herself get dragged back to those memories, but unlike before she wasn’t drawn to the bad times. There was no recollection of the Klingon raid or leaving, or Weaver. She was just reveling in the innocence of her youth, and it felt fresh and she loved it and knew that her grin was ear to ear as she followed Adora through the undergrowth.

“How do you still remember First one’s writing?” Catra asked as she caught up to the Captain.

Adora chuckled. “Mara used to leave me notes in First one’s when we lived together. Everything from shopping lists to reminders to do my homework.” Her smile faded slightly. “She wrote her diaries in it as well. I still read them sometimes.” She looked distant, and Catra felt like closing the distance, but part of her brain remembered how vicious Adora had been to her when Mara had died, and even though the reasons for her reaction were-

Well, they were different, but it still hurt her. Catra kept her arms by her side. “I’m sorry Adora.”

Adora glanced back, her grey-blue eyes full of emotion. “I know she was important to you- as a way out of Weaver’s.” she sighed; eyes full of recollections. “She loved you as much as she loved me.” Catra nodded nervously, silently accepting the revelation. Adora kept her eyes on the forest floor, following the hints and pricks of red light that streamed up from the undergrowth. Suddenly she began to pick her pace up, breaking into a job as Catra, startled, struggled to keep up.

“Catra!” she heard from ahead of her. “I think I found it!” Adora was waving at her from a small clearing at the bottom of a strange rocky outcrop. As Catra got closer, she realized that up the whole rock face flowed the same fractal lights that had covered the spire and led the two of them here.

“What is this place?”

“I think it’s the control center,” Adora said, slightly in awe.

Catra raised an eye “Inside the rock? Like a bunker?”

“I…think it _is_ the rock. Look-“she pointed to places where there seemed to be apertures of some kind. Whether they were windows or gunports, Catra couldn’t tell.

“How do we get in?” Adora looked around for a second.

“I think that’s a door.” She pointed to a point where the blue-green lights met in a large triangular shape. They walked closer to it. It was a large door – large enough to fit a shuttle into.

“They didn’t build small did they,” Catra mused.

“The myths talk of glittering cities in the sky powered by diamonds, and temples that could bring people back from the dead. Usually ancient dead civilizations stuff.”

“Usual?”

“Did you ever pay attention to astroarchaeology?”

“You know the answer to that,” Adora smirked at that, then studied the door.

“I can’t see any way to open it.” She sighed.

“We could just phaser it open,” Catra suggested, pulling her Phaser out. “We’d need both our phasers to do it.” She was just about to give the settings changes when she noticed Adora reaching down her tunic front, and at roughly that point Catra’s entire brain froze and shut down, leaving her gawking at Adora, who was currently scrabbling for…something. The blonde idiot looked up at Catra, now suddenly aware that she was now staring at her chest. Catra just about registered Adora blushing red, before her brain restarted and she shoved away from the ~~exciting~~ terrifying thoughts that had filled her head instead of anything rational.

“What….are you doing.” She spat out before she said anything stupid. Adora was still staring back at her, still concentrating on rummaging around in her bra.

“Phaser!” Adora’s said triumphantly, as her hand came out her tunic (Catra was fairly sure she was still staring but frankly she wasn’t in full control of her body right now.) holding her small Type 1 phaser, holding it up to Catra as if she hadn’t just pulled a lethal weapon out of her bra.

“Wha-“ Catra’s eyes finally pulled away from Adora’s chest to give her a shocked look. “ADORA!”

“What?” she huffed. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Why did you keep your Phaser-“ Catra realized she was now pointing straight at Adora’s breasts “you know! There!”

Adora scoffed. “These pants’ don’t exactly have pockets, do they Catra. I’ve gotta put it somewhere.”

“It’s a PHASER Adora. Are you TRYING to vaporize yourself?”

Adora looked genuinely confused. “…no?”

“Then-“ Catra ran a hand across her face in frustration. “Then _why_ was it in your bra?”

“Duh, I don’t have any pockets!”

“Wha-what?”

“These pants. They don’t have pockets?” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Catra’s brain had just about recovered from the short circuit for her to begin rational thought. “They do, though.”

Adora blinked. “What?” Catra stuck her hand in one of the hidden pockets down the front of the uniform pants, pulling the pocket fabric out to demonstrate its’ existence to Adora, who blinked, before lifting up her uniform tunic to look at her own pants, which merely caused Catra’s brain to short circuit when she saw Adora’s abs, an image that she was fairly sure would be burned into Catra’s mind for the rest of her sorry existence. How exactly, after six years of separation, Catra still felt like a teenager around her was impossible to understand, but it was there, and the butterflies that danced around her stomach were doing so at Warp 9 right now.

“Oh!” Adora said dumbly, sticking her hands into the pockets excitedly. “I had no idea! Hey Catra, look!” she waved her hands around in her pockets, and Catra couldn’t help but snigger.

“Oh my God Adora, they’re just pockets!” she said, laughing.

“I know but, I’ve never seen them before!” she said, grinning. “I’m gonna keep so much stuff in these!”

“What, instead of putting it down your bra?” Catra shot back, before slapping her hand over her mouth and going her. Adora, for her part, merely chuckled.

“Yeah, like I’m ever gonna live that down.” She adjusted the settings on her phaser, before turning to Catra. “Setting six should do it.” Catra nodded, and together they slowly cut an aperture in the rock for them to pass through. It took enough time for Catra’s mind to calm down from the spiraling and for the butterflies in her stomach to drop out of warp long enough for her to calm down. She felt much more in control by the time the cut-out stone dropped away with the crash, and then she followed Adora into the cool, vast darkness of the Control center. The roof arched away from them into the darkness, and the air was flat and stale with dust. Support beams and fallen masons littered the massive space, and most of the doors that lead off from the central area were collapsed or closed. Thankfully, at the end of the room, a small light flickered as a guide.

“It’s big,” Adora breathed, turning on the small flashlight on her communicator and scanning it across the vast space. “I think it’s a hangar of some kind.” She turned to Catra. “Some works describe the First ones flying huge air-skiffs, like seagoing ships held off of the ground by magic.”

“Antigrav skimmers?” Catra suggested, waiting for the Tricorder to locate the power source.

“Something like that,” Adora mused. “Mara used to call them Air-dinghies.”

“Why?”

Adora grinned. “Because all the ones in carvings seemed to have crashed into something like she always did when she went dinghy sailing.” Adora chuckled, but it had a tone of sadness in it that made Catra want to hold her tightly in a ball and never let her go. Instead, she focused on the tricorder.

“This way,” she said, pointing them towards an anteroom, which gave off the only artificial light in the entire building.

“It’s strange that there isn’t a defence system of some kind,” Adora mused, her Phaser still held at the ready.

“I don’t think this was a military building. Perhaps a travel hub, or a civilian operations centre?”

“It’s weird,” Adora chuckled. “Ancient buildings are always Temples or Castles, never, y’know, post offices, or banks.”

Catra snorted. “Being the first person to unearth an ancient garbage dump must be a massive letdown.”

“Mara always said you could learn everything from a society’s garbage.”

“Are you sure she wasn’t talking about your bedroom?”

“Hey!” Adora grinned, but Catra could see the little sadness in her eyes. She sighed, forcing herself to look away from the beautiful blue-grey eyes.

“C’mon,” she said, and they passed through the doorway into the comms room, which was dimly lit by the glow of the single functioning control panel, which they both walked up to. Catra groaned. “The Universal translator can’t get this to work.”

“Let me try,” Adora said. She peered at the controls. “I think this panel is the interstellar transfer panel, for sending messages to other planets.” She glanced at some of the controls. “That’s to bring up messages from other stations, and this-“ he hand paused over a button with a strange lattice-shaped symbol. She stared at it for a second, then pushed it.

A bright pink light shot up behind then, and they both turned round to see-

“A starmap,” Catra breathed. “It’s-“

“It’s the Etherian Empire,” Adora said, quietly in awe as they looked at the huge holographic map of the Empire. Dozens of Star systems were linked together by Starlanes, each with their own labels and designations in First One’s writing, different colors designating _something._ Almost half the planets, maybe more, were lit up in a deep, dark red, others in various shades of pink or blue. Catra flipped the scanner open on her tricorder, taking as many imaging scans as the machine could handle. “It’s all here Catra.” She pointed to a flashing orb. “That’s us! Alwyn!” She pointed to others. “That’s Erelandia! And Candila! And Elberon! and-“ she pointed to the largest of the orbs, which seemed to pulse with power, that all the long starlanes converged on. “That’s Eternia,” she breathed.

“That Capital?” Catra asked. Adora nodded excitedly.

“We- we could find it,” Adora breathed. “We could find Eternia.” Catra could see the hope in her eyes, the pleading look, that good old Starfleet spirit of discovering blending with Adora’s own thirst for adventure.

“Where would we start?”

Adora seemed lost in the map, drinking in all the star systems. Suddenly she pointed to one planet, right on the edge of the Empire. “Dryl,” she breathed. Catra’s breath hitched for a second, and she and Adora exchanged a look. “It’s – it’s there.”

Catra took a deep breath, pulling herself up from the spiral that thinking about that planet caused. “And if we’re here,” she said, steadying her arm and finding the dot that Adora has pointed out as Alwyn, “We can calibrate our Star Charts based off of those two locations, and accounting for interstellar drift-“

“We could do it,” Adora breathed. “What Mara always dreamed of doing.” There were tears in her eyes – both of joy and sadness. Catra tentatively reached up and put an arm around Adora’s shoulders, her other hand taking Adora’s and squeezing it. The Blonde woman looked down at Catra, smiling. “We can, can’t we?”

“Catra smiled. “It sounds like boldy going to me,” she quipped, but Adora merely grinned at her, tears spilling from her eyes, as she nodded. “We’ll find Eternia Adora.”

“For Mara,” Adora breathed.

“For Mara,” Catra agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double-length this time! I hope you all enjoyed our second encounter with James "Himbo-Ass" Tiberius Kirk, and the beginnings of a plot (!)
> 
> A note on the pants: The uniforms in The Original Series did not actually have pockets, despite the fact that on several occasions people did seem to pull still from pockets of some kind when they weren't wearing utility belts (They had velcro strips to hold things on set, which is not very futuristic at all). So, hidden pockets! And Shennanigans!
> 
> (If anyone would like to draw fanart of Tired Catra dealing with soaked through softboy Jim Kirk/Adora being a dumbass about pockets, that would be appreciated)


	8. What lies Beneath

Adora slammed her head into the bulkhead. “I’m so screwed.”

“No, you’re not,” Glimmer said. She was still looking at the massive viewscreen that took up one of the walls of the Stellar Cartography lab, waiting for Yeoman Shackleton to finish calculating the latest computation.

Adora turned round to slump against the cool grey wall. “You don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Glimmer turned round with a tedious, almost parental look. “Well, we’re here to try and figure out if- if that planet we went to yesterday-“

“Volgas IV,” The yeoman supplied.

“-Volgas IV is Elberon, or some other devastated planet whose atmosphere got stripped away by something.”

“I know,” Adora sighed, “it’s just-“

“I know this has been difficult, and we’ve hit a lot of dead ends over the last month, but it’s not that bad, is it? I mean-“Glimmer fiddled with her Padd and a transparent layer appeared on the map, with annotations and a few lines connecting highlighted stars. “We’ve got this. And this is good! No one has _ever_ had a big lead on the Eternian Empire before. Not even real archaeologists!”

“I know,” The blonde said, pushed off the wall to stand next to Glimmer. “And I am excited, but-“

“But what?”

“That’s not what’s on my mind.”

Glimmer raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what’s bugging you?” Adora shook her head. “Then what else? Cos I can’t think of anything more important to you than this.” The image of Catra smiling ear to ear flashed through Adora’s head, quickly followed by Adora imagining picking her up and smothering her face in kisses until she couldn’t breathe.

“Adora?”

“Uh-“

“You’ve been doing _that-“_ Glimmer pointed at her face, presumably referencing the vacant smile that had filled her face while she imagined carrying Catra across her quarters to her bed – “for like, a week. What’s going on?”

“It’s…” Adora went read. Did she want to talk about this to Glimmer? What exactly was going to happen. How was she going to phrase it? ‘So, you know how I hated Catra for like, six years, or at least thought I did. Well, I don’t, I like her, in fact, I like her so much when I’m in a room with her my brain stops working and all I can think about is kissing her on the mouth until I can’t breathe then carrying her to my bed and make sweet sweet love to her forever, but I’m also terrified of that fact, not just because of my general fear of rejection and failure, but because behind her façade she could quite easily still blame me for everything?’

No, Adora couldn’t say that, because Glimmer would turn round and scream “WHAT THE HELL ADORA! YOU CAN’T SLEEP WITH YOUR FIRST OFFICER, ESPECIALLY HER! SHE’S INSANE AND PROBABLY A KLINGON SPY AND-‘ Well, something on those lines.

So what was she to do? She would talk to Bow about it, but he was busy doing stupid things like the work he was meant to be doing coding the Etherian language into the Universal Translator. Which left her alone with Glimmer, the person she did not want to talk to about this. What she really wanted to do was to walk to the bridge and pin Catra against a wall and then-

“Adora!” Glimmer said, waving a hand in front of her face. “What is going on? You're barely on this plane of existence!”

“Erm, you see-“

“The Captain would like to bone Lieutenant Commander Weaver so badly it’s kind of embarrassing for her,” Frosta said promptly, still not looking up from her viewscreen. Both senior officers turned to look at her, at which point the Yeoman looked up into Adora’s horrified and Glimmer’s shocked eyes. “What?”

“I-“

“What-“

“Where did that come from?” Glimmer said, far calmer than Adora expected. She still sounded shocked, though.

Frosta shrugged. “There is no privacy on this ship, which is something you should remember if you go and lie on the floor in the Shuttlebay observation deck and talk out loud about how you want her to climb you like a tree.” The Blonde gaped at the ensign, who was still staring at her with a vacantly bored expression. “I had to do sensor maintenance ok? Jesus?” she huffed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.

“Remind me why I haven’t thrown you out the airlock yet?” Glimmer groaned.

“Because I’m your cousin, and your mum would kill you if she found out you hurt her favourite niece?”

Adora blinked. “Wait, you’re related?”

Frosta groaned. “How on earth did you make Captain?”

“Frosta, do me a favour,” Glimmer said, cutting in.

“What.”

“Put some headphones on and do some real work.” Frosta pouted, but reached into her pockets (It had been a week and it still astounds Adora that these pants have _pockets_ ) and put two earbuds in, the sound of early 21st-century grime music betraying the dangerously high volume she’d set them in.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Adora said.

“We’re not here to discuss how nice I am to my cousin,” Glimmer huffed.

“Then what are we talking about?” the pink-haired woman stared at her. “Fine, we’ll talk about it.” There was an uncomfortable silence as Adora looked down at the deck and waited for Glimmer to yell at her. It never came, instead, she looked up to see Glimmer staring at her, one hand on her hip, with a look of….resignation?

“What?” she said, looking shyly at her friend.

“I’d like to say I’m surprised, but honestly? I’m not.” Glimmer looked her in the eye with a hint of _something._ Not anger, but _something._ “You do have a thing for…sticking your foot in it when it comes to being having a crush on people.”

“Is this about Huntara?”

“I mean this was also about _me,_ but yes, it’s also about Huntara.”

“Glimmer! That was, like six years ago!”

“Four years ago.”

“I was talking about _us,_ ” Adora hissed.

“If we’re gonna talk about that,” Glimmer said, both hands on her hips now, “then you get why I’m just a little bit concerned, right?”

The Blonde sighed. “Yeah, I guess,” she said, trying to think about how much the broken, lonely and vulnerable Lieutenant Gray had latched onto Glimmer only to be broken when that had decidedly _not_ gone well for either of them. “But this is different!”

“Yes, it is,” Glimmer hissed, irritated but not antagonised. “This is – this is your first officer!”

“Never stopped anyone before,” Frosta shot from behind Glimmer.

“ _Frosta!”_ Glimmer yelled in frustration.

“You’re being loud ok! Jeez,” the yeoman rolled her eyes then went back to her work.

“Anyway,” Glimmer said, quieter, “You can’t go chasing after her this time.”

“Why not? Frosta’s right, it never stopped anyone before.”

“It’s not that, it’s”- Glimmer took a deep breath to calm herself, then stepped forward and placed two hands on Adora’s shoulders. “She _hurt_ you, Adora. I remember how much she hurt you. I remember how much you cried whenever you remembered her, or how distant you’d get when something reminded you of her. For christ’s sake Adora, you couldn’t listen to David Bowie for two years. Two Years!”

Adora blushed. “I know, but she’s…”

“Different?” Glimmer raised an eyebrow. “Why does everyone say that?”

“Well, _I’m_ saying it because it’s true. She’s different, Glimmer. I’m different as well. It’s been six years, and…this is different than then.”

“How so?”

“I don’t think I was in love with her then.” Glimmer gave her a sceptical look. “I least I didn’t think I was.” The sceptical look wasn’t moving. “Ok, I was sort of aware but too scared to do anything about it.”

“Are you in love with her now?”

“I-“

“Didn’t think so,” Glimmer huffed, thankfully preventing Adora from having to actually answer _that_ question. “What’s so different then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why is different from Huntara, or even me?”

Adora sighed. “Catra has…always meant something to me. She’s always been someone I could rely on – who would be there to look out for me. That- that relationship was so important to me growing up. It got me through a lot of bad times. And when it was gone, it ripped me apart, and now I’ve got it back, but it’s…different.” Glimmer gave her a _go on_ look. “When I latched onto Huntara, and you, I was craving a level of support I’d had my entire life that was suddenly withdrawn. And that was _massively_ unhealthy.” Glimmer nodded. “I think I was dependent on Catra for emotional strength, as much as she was dependent on me, so trying to detach the friendship from the….other feelings were hard. It was scary.”

“What happened then?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you, Adora. You don’t stay scared for long. You get very scared, spiral, then just jump headlong into the mess and get it done.” Adora went to correct her but decided against it.

“I- I was gonna tell her, but then,” she sighed. “You know what happened.”

“I don’t actually.” Glimmer said forcefully. “You know for six-odd years I have respected that you didn’t want to tell us about what happened at Dryl, but at some point, you are gonna have to tell us.” Adora was sure Glimmer said more after that, but all she could think about was the images flashing through her head- the burned-out Phaser room; hauling singed bodies out into the corridor; seeing the gash in Catra’s head; the look of shame in her eyes; then hurried flashes of the arrest; the court-martial, her testimony to the board of Inquiery; then the screaming, burning hatred that flowed out of Catra as harshly as it had flowed out her mouth, then the loneliness afterwards, the cruel empty loneliness that had filled her life before she had met Bow and Glimmer (and even after to be honest). “I…don’t think I loved her after that.”

She took a deep breath, and looked at Glimmer, who had stopped talking, and was merely giving her a sympathetic (but not, thankfully, pitying) look. “What did she do? That it could destroy you, and still make you want to go back to her?”

“I don’t want you to hate her,” Adora said tentatively. Glimmer rolled her eyes.

“Please, I have my own reasons to hate her,” she scowled.

“Really?” Adora said, surprised. “First I’m hearing of it.”

“Well, it’s personal.” Glimmer said, earning a snort from Frosta. “You got something to say, Yeoman?”

“Only that you’re wrong,” Frosta said matter-of-factly, “but we’ve had this discussion before.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “We are not having this argument again, _Yeoman Shackleton._ ”

Adora wasn’t entirely sure what the next step here was. She’d known that Glimmer didn’t like Catra, but there was a _specific_ reason? She’d just assumed it was typical Glimmer hostility towards people who brushed her up the wrong way. Had Adora been too busy pining like an idiot to consider how her friend felt? How much must it have hurt to have Catra on the ship? Why had she not thought about other people before she’d tried to fix things with her oldest friend? Why-

“Listen, Adora,” Glimmer said, once again pulling Adora out of the spiral. “I-I have my own _problems_ with Catra, but-“ she gave Adora a tender look. “I’m getting past them now. This isn’t about that.”

“What is this about?”

“You need to do what’s right for you. For your career. And I don’t think ‘boning your first officer’ is the way to do that.”

“….why not?” Adora said, with a raised eyebrow. “Are you really playing the ‘don’t destroy a friendship for a relationship you might not get’ card, Glimmer? How’s that going with Bow, huh?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, but that couldn’t hide how much she was blushing. “We’re talking about you, ok? And you….you don’t do these things carefully Adora. And this sort of thing needs, carefulness.”

“What kind of carefulness? To Catra? I’m aware of that, Glimmer.” The Pink-haired girl gave her a withering look, but it softened as she gave out a soft sigh.

“I’m telling you to be careful to yourself, Adora.”

“Eh?”

“You’re always looking out for everyone else, but you never ask what _you_ want. Hell, when Catra first came here you were more concerned about what this environment would be like for _her,_ and whether you would be able to behave yourself, instead of what you wanted. I don’t know what you feel for her, or what you intend to do, but-“ Glimmer gave a small smile. “Just think about what you want, for once.”

“I-I’ll try.” Adora said, not quite believing herself.

“Good.” Glimmer turned with a smile and left the room, leaving Adora in her wake. Frosta (who had given up pretending not to listen) watched her leave.

“I’ll be honest,” Adora said to herself. “I expected her to be angrier.”

“So did I, but you take what you get,” Frosta muttered in reply, earning a curious look from Adora. “What? She’s not known in our family for being sensible about personal relations.”

“Huh.” Adora mused as Frosta went back to her work. “So…Glimmer’s your cousin?”

“uh-huh” Frosta didn’t look up.

Adora hummed in response. “How does that work?”

“My uncle fucked her mother and she popped out nine months later,” the Yeoman said, still not looking up from her work.

“Huh.” Adora looked from her back to Starchart, mulling over everyone Glimmer had said. As much as she had been glad not to get shouted at, getting a deep talk instead wasn’t exactly better. Did she think about everyone else before her? Maybe she did, but wasn’t that a good thing? Aren’t people always attacked for being selfish and uncaring? No one would ever call her selfish. Except maybe Catra, when they-

 _Let’s not think about that, shall we?_ Adora said with a grimace, instead filling her mind with images of Catra’s pretty face (it wasn’t a hard thing to think about) and how it would feel to run her hand through her short haircut and to cup her cheeks in her and-

“God, please, will you just bone her already.” Frosta groaned. Adora reddened and glared at her. “What?” the Yeoman said, unfazed. “You do the exact same look Glimmer does when she thinks about Bow.”

“I- it’s not like that,” Adora babbled.

“Sure.”

Adora looked at her for a second, the yeoman meeting her with bored eyes. “If-if I tried to, y’know-“

“Bone her?”

“-do you think she’d say yes?” Frosta chewed on some gum she’d got from somewhere, (once again, Adora was marvelled at the existence of _pockets!_ ) before shrugging.

“I dunno.” Adora groaned. “What did you expect me to say?”

“Something helpful?” Frosta smirked, then before she could reply a Boatswain whistle interrupted her.

“ _Bridge to Captain Grey,”_ game Catra’s voice, both startling and soothing Adora’s barely functional single remaining brain cell. Adora blinked, then stumbled over to the wall, tripping over her own foot and earning a snort from the Yeoman.

“Capt-Captain here!” Adora said, cringing at how excited she sounded. She heard Catra chuckle and her heart leapt about fifteen feet. “What’s up?”

“ _Mr. Sherwood has cracked some of the Etherian language base using that plinth we found on Volgas IV. Should help us figure out if you can actually read a map properly or not.”_

“Please,” Adora snorted, “Wasn’t this planet _your_ pick? I think you’re the one on trial here, _Commander_.” Behind her, Frosta gagged. Adora shot her a glare.

“ _Well, there’s only one way to find out. You gonna come up here or what?_ ”

“What happens if I don’t?”

“ _I guess I’ll have to come down there and make you._ ” Adora giggled, dodging the data cartridge Frosta threw at her.

“No need to come chasing me, I’ll be seeing you in a second,” Adora said, making finger guns at the comms panel before physically cringing. “Uhhh- Captain out!” she said, punching the channel closed behind groaning into the wall next to it.

“You’re such a disaster, Captain,” Frosta muttered.

“Shut up, Yeoman.”

***

About a week later, Catra was slamming her head into a similarly coloured bulkhead. It was on a different deck, in a different part of the ship, but the sentiment was somewhat the same.

“I’m so screwed,” she groaned.

“Yeah, you are,” snarked a voice from behind her. She whipped around to face the rest of Phaser control room, where Lonnie was standing behind the main console while a redshirted engineer fought with a busted relay underneath.

“Shut up, Lonnie,” Catra hissed, with some malice, but not a lot.

The Navigator merely shrugged. “I’m not wrong though. You are screwed.”

“You don’t even know what I’m talking about.” Lonnie gave her a tedious look. “Trust me, you don’t.”

“I do, trust me.”

“That’s lovely Lonnie, but we’re here to analyse a power drop, not my brain.”

“Sure, because that’s more interesting than _you_ being a complete disaster.” Catra blinked at her. “I’m not wrong.”

“I am not being a complete disaster,” Catra growled. “And once again, you don’t know what I’m talking about!”

“Please, I do,” Lonnie said confidently.

“Sure.”

“If I do know, will you actually get off our ass about this power drop? It’s not that important, you know that.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “You say that now, but when you’re in here and there’s a collapse in containment and the room fills with coolant gas, you’ll be the one wishing you’d done the work.”

“ _Catra._ ” Lonnie pressed. “C’mon, if we guess it, can we get some time off?”

“Well-“

“Oh!” the engineering under the console started suddenly. “Are we talking about Catra and Adora?”

“Dammit, Kyle!” Lonnie groaned, earning a thump on the bottom of the console as the engineer rammed his head into it by accident. She helped him to his feet as Catra stared at him, aghast. “I take it he was right, then?”

“Shut up.”

“Does this mean we can go?” Kyle said nervously. “Because I did promise Rogelio I’d meet him for-“

“I didn’t agree to any deal here Lieutenant,” Catra shot back.

“Fine, but can we at least talk about it?”

“No.” Lonnie gave her a derisory look. “I’m not going to say anything understood.”

“Fine, I’ll talk,” Catra groaned, but as much as in any other circumstance she would just walk about the room and leave them, she did need to make sure that Kyle didn’t shunt half the power overloads into the shield grid or do anything dangerous. Lonnie smirked as she saw the look of resignation on Catra’s face. “You, Miss Catra Weaver, would like very much to see the insides of the Captain’s quarters.”

“So would I!” Kyle piped up. “I mean apparently she’s-“ he squealed when Lonnie kicked him in the stomach.

“That’s _not what I meant **Kyle** ,”_ the Navigator groaned. “I meant-“

“I know what you meant,” Catra hissed.

“Oh, so you’re talking now?” Catra growled a response to that, but Lonnie merely smirked at her. “Not gonna challenge me on that?”

“I don’t have to.”

“Why not?”

“Cos I’m the First Officer.”

“The first officer who wants to bang the Captain.” Catra reddened, less at the accusation and more at the rather racy concept of what exactly seeing the inside of that part of the Captain’s quarters would look like.

“You going to present any evidence for that?”

Lonnie poked a smug finger in her direction. “That fact your face is currently the same colour as Kyles’s redshirt?”

“Apart from that?”

“That’s enough for me.” Catra huffed. “Now can you do the whole bridge crew a favour and stop eye-fucking each other and, y’know? Get on with it?”

“I’m fairly sure we’re not eye-fucking each other, _Lieutenant_.”

“Since when have you been blind, Catra?”

“I think I’d know if Adora was being anything more than just polite to me,” the first officer replied primly.

“Oh, so you’re blind _and_ stupid,” Lonnie snarked. “C’mon Catra, either you’re actively ignoring the signs or there’s something else going on here.”

“That’s really not your problem, is it?”

“No, I think it is because you’ve decided to be very stupid.”

Catra attempted to raise an eyebrow passively. “How so.”

“You’ve decided that Adora doesn’t like you.”

Catra growled, “She has her reasons.”

“Really.” Lonnie seemed unconvinced. “And they are?” Catra felt her heart race a bit.

“None of your business, _Lieutenant_.” Catra hissed, feeling what little was left of her patience thinning.

Lonnie was grinning, keenly aware that she was getting to something here, but as she began to press on there was a loud clunk. Suddenly the orange relay in front of her turned green and Kyle crawled out with a grin on his face. “I got it!” he announced in triumph, ignoring the disappointed grimace on Lonnie’s face.

“God Dammit Kyle!”

“What?”

“Thank you, Mr Kyle,” Catra said through a smug smile, ticking it off the list on her padd. “Mr LaForge?” she said, pointedly giving Lonnie a sickeningly professional smile. “Why don’t you run the phaser crews through a combat drill? Just to check everything’s up to standard.” She turned and strutted out of the room into the corridor before Lonnie could reply, trying not to think about the lucky escape she’d had.

How bad was she being if even _Kyle_ had noticed? She thought she was being subtle – hell, she thought she was being sneaky, but hell was that even possible with Adora? It didn’t help much that they’d gone from barely talking to whatever _this_ was. Were they friends now? At the very least they were talking, and Adora seemed to be acting rather… _amicable_. She wouldn’t call their banter _eye-fucking_. It might not be professional, but then again neither she nor Adora had been very good at the _professional_ bit of this job. It was...comfortable. That’s all it was. It was where they used to be, back before- well before that. Was this real? Adora had been more…nervous recently. Scorpia had called it ‘giddy’ but that seemed to be more about finding the Etherian Empire than her. Then again, had she ever been good at spotting whether people were flirting with her. She hadn’t spotted how infatuated Scorpia had been with her for six months. Hell, she could barely tell when she was flirting with people. Was she flirting with Adora? She supposed she was, especially considering how her brain seemed to barely function in briefings anymore, but she sincerely doubted that it was mutual. Catra had-had scarred her. Dragged her down. _Ruined_ her. It must be hard enough for her have got just as far as amicability. Catra knew very well how _she_ felt, deep down, about Adora, but – Adora was never going to feel that back. She wasn’t capable. And she knew very well whose fault that was.

“Catra!” she looked up suddenly to see Adora coming the other way and _oh no my brain is leaking out my ears_ and _how does someone look so beautiful in Starship lighting? How? What horrible engineer designed Starship lighting to make Blonde hair look like halos?_ The Captain was coming down the corridor with Mermista and a less-than-enthused Glimmer, who looked like she had been in the middle of explaining something. “Come listen to this!” she said, waving her too them. Catra looked nervously at the crew around her (who seemed rather used to Adora’s nonsense at this point) as she filed towards the trio. The Doctor was holding a large cardboard cut-out of Seahawk under her shoulder, which while it was strange, seemed about normal for the ship. She regarded the Caitian with bemusement as she approached them. Glimmer just looked grumpy, which was…normal.

“What’s up, ‘Cap?” Catra said, trying to sound like she was in fact capable of higher thought when she looked at the Blonde.

“Glimmer! Tell the _Lieutenant Commander_ what you just told us?”

The Science Officer groaned. “Do I **have** too?”

“I mean,” Mermista snarked. “She _is_ the first officer. It’s kind of, like, your job to tell her.” Glimmer glared at the doctor. “I’m not wrong.”

“Don’t you have Phaser practice to go to?”

“Glimmer!” Adora whined, “just tell Catra about Candila Six!”

“Candila six?” Catra raised an eyebrow. “That scorched planet near Tellun?” Adora nodded excitedly, gesturing for Glimmer to continue. The Science officer sighed and took a deep breath.

“Entrapta was able to decode some of the data from Volgas IV with some of the extra information we got from Candila six.”

“…and?”

“We found Erelandia!” Adora said excitedly. Mermista rolled her eyes and Glimmer groaned, and _normally_ Catra would as well, but there was something about Adora’s glee, the ways her bright blue-grey eyes had light up and the way that she was bouncing on her heels that just seemed to melt the poor first officer’s heart.

“That’s great!” Catra said, unable to prevent the warm smile that now graced her face. Adora only seemed to be more pleased now that Catra knew. "When do we set a course?"

“We’re already on our way!” the Captain said giddily. “One step closer to the centre!”

“Oh calm down,” Catra taunted, “Don’t crash us into a moon trying to get us there first.”

“Are you criticising my piloting?” the Captain said in mock horror. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“You done much ship flying recently? Or do you just leave it to the Doctor's boy toy?”

“I can fly if you’d like to see it,” Adora said in what seemed to be a suave tone. Catra wasn't sure.

“Okay, Captain, we have a briefing with Commander Entrapta, right now?” Glimmer said, exasperation mixing heavily with a pleading tone. Adora went red.

“Oh! Er- yeah – yeah we do. I’ll see you around, Catra.” The Caitian snorted.

“Adora, I have to stand next to your chair by regulation.”

Adora giggled.” Then you really do have no escape from me.” She grinned, then shot Catra finger guns as Glimmer dragged her down the corridor.

“Oh my god you two are _terrible,_ ” the Doctor groaned. Catra shot her a glare. “What?”

“Why are we so terrible?” Catra hissed, hands-on-hips.

“Are you, like, seriously telling me that you didn’t notice what that was.”

Catra blinked. “No.” Mermista gave her what Adora assumed was a shocked look, before resuming her usually tedious look. “What?”

“You two are *just* as bad as each other. No, actually, you know what Commander, you’re worse. You’re like, definitely worse. “

Catra snarled. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Seriously? How are you so smart but your love life is so dumb?”

“You’re one to talk, you take a cut out of your boyfriend with you to Phaser practice to shoot him.”

“Oh come on Catra, you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”

“Right in front of me?”

“The Captain, you moron.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s got the hots for you,” Mermista said smugly.

"You're saying that beneath her being a complete dork and a workaholic, the Captain is currently flirting with _me?"_ Catra snorted. "Are you insane?"

"Are you insane?" the Doctor shot back. "How the hell aren't you seeing this?"

Catra blustered at her. “How- how the hell are you-“

“MerrMISSTA!” came a yell from down the corridor, interrupting them both as Seahawk came strutting towards them from a turbo-lift. Catra used Mermista’s loud groan as a chance to slip away, weaving through the crew to escape the blunt doctor’s wrath.

“Seahawk, you-“ Mermista turned to see Catra disappearing down the corridor. “I’m not done here Catra!” The first officer flipped off as she hurried away, before stowing herself in a turbo-lift.

“Main Bridge,” she said, not entirely thinking about it. _What the hell was Mermista-_

 _Oh my god._ Adora was flirting with her. “Halt,” she said, the turbo-lift coming to a stop. She leant against the sidewall of the lift, head swimming.

 _No, no she isn’t. Adora still hates me. At least part of her does. She couldn’t forgive me. Not yet._ She sighed and shoved Mermista’s words down with Lonnie’s. “Resume,” she said, the lift hummed it’s way to the bridge as Catra thought about Adora’s bright blue eyes.

***

The base they found on Erelandia was…different. Erelandia was supposed to have been a large mercantile hub, but the planet's surface was wiped clean. Even from orbit, the scars from brutal, concentrated orbital bombardment marked the location of population centres, all of which had been ground to dust. It took them a solid ten hours before they found an Etherian Command centre that they could beam down to without suffering from radiation burns. 

The surface scans they’d made of the base, which was located deep underground on the northwestern continent, had been promising – very promising, in fact, if Entrapta’s excited ramblings were anything to go by as she babbled about active power signatures. Adora hadn’t thought much of it then. What had really alerted her to the fact that *something* was up was the eerie, green glow that lit the hollowed-out hangar when they had beamed in. She’d shared a curious look with Catra, who shrugged, before ordering out the security team to cover the base. “Wilson, Russell, take those two side rooms. “Hawkins, De Valera, take that side-bay.” Scorpia, go cover Entrapta.” The five officer’s nodded, Scorpia setting her pincer-mounter Phaser to the stun setting before following the Engineer, who had already scamped off into the control room, which glowed bright green where it should have been pink.

“I don’t like it here,” Adora murmured, gripping her Phaser tightly.

Catra shrugged. “Well, at least it’s not falling down around us.” She gave the blonde a coy smile. “C’mon, she said, strolling into the deepness of the Hangar’s glow. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” Adora grimaced at her as she followed.

“This place seems rather well maintained for a 1000-year-old base,” she pondered. “Look-“ Adora pointed to a beam that still shined with a cool sheen that set it apart from the rough stone ones either side of it. “That certainly looks new.”

“It’s duranium,” Catra supplied, her tricorder whirring. “High quality as well, only about 10-15 years old? Maybe newer?”

“Who the hell was here a decade ago?” Adora thought out loud. Catra was staring at her curiously. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said, smiling. “You’re just cute when you’re confused.”

“Not the time, _Catra_ ,” gained a bristled look from the first officer. “People don’t come and tinker with a base on a dead world. Especially when it’s 10 kilometres underground.,

“Sir!” Scorpia waved at them from the doorway of the control room. “Entrapta’s found something!” The two of then jogged over to the room, ducking under the worryingly well-maintained doorway to see Entrapta crouched over the console, which was emanating the same sickly green as every other piece of technology in the building.

“What you got ‘Trap?” Catra said, and Adora could sense the tinge of nervousness in her voice.

“This. Is . Fascinating!” the engineer shouted, her hands gliding over the console at speed.

“Good fascinating or bad fascinating?” Adora asked.

Entrapta ignored her. “It seems like at some point about a decade ago, a new cache of information and computer commands was dumped into the core of this computer, at which point it’s original protocols were completely overridden in favour of the new system! It's like they shoved a whole layer of computing right underneath the First One's code, so no one could find it. Well-" she gave them a smug look. "No one but _me_ could find it."

“Someone came here to reprogramme the computer?” Adora asked.

“That’s the thing!” Entrapta continued excitedly. “The reprogramming wasn’t done from here. It was transmitted through the computer core’s direct connection with Eternia!”

“What?”

“I know!” the Engineer squealed.

Adora went to stand by the console. “Can you get anything up on the new files?”

“Already on it,” she said, her hands now joined on the console by her prehensile hair, while Adora stared in wonder (and fear) at the flickering green screen in front of her.

“Sir! There’s something here!” Russell’s voice shouted from outside. Catra turned to Scorpia and gestured to the door with her head, and the Security chief bounded out to investigate.

“What the hell is this, Adora?” Catra asked, drawing her Phaser on instinct.

“I..” she turned to look at the Caitian, seeing the fear in her eyes as well. “I don’t know.” Catra’s communicator chirped suddenly, making them both jump.

“Go ahead,” Catra said as she flipped it open.

“ _Catra-“_ Scorpia sounded just as scared as they did. “ _There’s- there are-“_

“What is it, Lieutenant.”

“ _There are people here, sir”!_

“People?”

 _“Half a dozen in this room alone._ _They’re in these pods, hooked up to some machine. De Valera says there's more in the next room as well!”_

Catra glanced back at Adora, her eyes full of worry. "Are they alive?”

“ _Russell says so, but they seem to be in some sort of hibernation status. Also- some of them are human.”_

“What?” Adora cut in.

Russell came onto the channel, his voice much calmer than Scorpia's. “ _There are two humans here sir – one male, one female. I can’t tell you how old they are – it looks like the stations they’re in act as Stasis chambers of some kind.”_

“Can you revive them?” the Captain asked.

_“Possibly. At the very least, I think I can detach them from the pods and beam them up to the ship.”_

_“I can put them over my shoulders, it should make it easier,”_ Scorpia added.

“Do it.” Adora glanced at Catra, who didn’t offer anything but a look of mild horror. “Bring them to outside the control room.

“ _Understood, Scorpia out._ ”

“This just got even weirder,” Catra said, her hand now tightly round her Phaser. Adora glanced at it, then took her free hand for a second.

“We’ll be alright,” she said, squeezing it for a second, before realising what she was doing and dropping the hand hurriedly. “Entrapta, any closer to getting into the code?”

“Almost…got it…” the Engineer learnt back from the console in triumph. “I got it!” she grinned, before suddenly the whole base was lit up in a bright green wash of light that bounced off of all the rusting metallic surfaces on every wall.

“What did you do?” Catra demanded.

“I- I just activated the new protocols!” Entrapta answers, standing up and stepping away from the console. Behind them, the holographic map projector sputtered into life, but instead of the mystical points of light and arcing lines of the star chart, the hologram flickered on to reveal a towering figure clad in silvery white robes who stood menacing the three Starfleet officers with ease, four bright green eyes boring through them with a terrifying aura of control and self-assurance. When the hologram spoke, it spoke with a chillingly calm voice that seemed to still the air and command the room.

**“This planet is the property of the glorious Empire of the Horde. As violators of Primes domain, you will be destroyed Immediately. Glory be to Horde Prime.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lieutenant Kyle Kyle. So nice they named him twice.


	9. Whispers of Prime

Alarms began to sound across the entire facility, their sirens blaring deafeningly from every direction.

“It must be a defence program!” Entrapta said, running back to the console. "Let me see what I can do!"

Adora stepped away from the massive hologram, flipping her communicator open. “Captain to away team, report to my position immediately.” She shifted the channel quickly. “Gray to _Alliance_ , prepare to retrieve the away team.”

 _“We can’t, sir_ ,” Glimmer replied, _“The base has a shield up. We can’t beam you through at all.”_

“Shield?” The Captain glanced at Catra, who was staring at the projection.

“ _Some energy field of some kind. We’re trying to cut through the interference now, but it’ll take time.”_ Adora grimaced.

“Anything you can do from up there to help?”

“I- _wait-“muffled_ sounds came from the communicator, then silence.

“Mr. Brightmoon?” nothing. “Glimmer?”

“ _She’s gone down to the transporter room, sir,_ ” Bow’s voice sounded equally urgent. Adora groaned.

“Keep an eye on this channel Bow, understood? Beam us up the moment the shield is down.”

“ _Aye, sir_.” The Captain shut the communicator with a snap.

“Entrapta, get that shield down!”

“Already on it!” the engineer replied as she wrenched a panel off the other computer. Adora turned to her first officer.

“Catra I need you to-“The Caitian was still staring in horror at the projection, horrifically enraptured in its cold stare. The hand that held her phaser was white as it gripped it tightly. Adora stepped towards her. “Commander!” The woman flinched and turned to Adora, instinctively raising the phaser at her hip before hurriedly dropping it.

“I’m- I’m alright.” She didn’t sound alright, but Adora didn’t have the time for it. “What do you need.”

“Give Entrapta a hand – I’m going to get the rest of the away team!” Adora did not wait to hear an affirmation, but instead ran to the doorway to see the main hangar bathed in the same bleach-white light, sirens blaring. She glanced to her left to see Scorpia and Russell running towards them, Scorpia carrying two bodies with ease. Further away, she could see Hawkins and DeValera heading her direction as well, moving as fast as they could across the wide expanse of the hangar.

“What’s happening, sir?” Scorpia asked as she trotted up to Adora, easing both lifeless bodies off her shoulders and putting them against the wall.

“I don’t know, but –“she was interrupted by Russell’s alarmed shout.

“Over there!” Suddenly, from behind the two security officers, bodies clad in the same white jumpsuits as the two lifeless bodies were emerging from various doorways and converging on the hangar. Their eyes all lit up the same eerie green, their faces – Human, Klingon, Andoria, Orion, a dozen other species all expressionless, eyes glowing, their right hands all holding large, bulky disrupted cannons. “My God.”

“What the….” Scorpia breathed.

“Phasers on stun,” Adora ordered, eying the crowd that now numbered more than three dozen.

“Captain?” Russell queried.

“They’re still sentient beings Ensign. I won’t kill them.”

Russell went to counter, but then there was a scream, and they turned to see the last fragments of Hawkins dissolving in green light as a beam from one of the hostiles struck him in the body. DeValera ducked as disrupter bolts flew over her head, but the sentries kept moving towards her.

“Peter!” Russell yelled. Adora fired her phaser, the blue bolt striking one of the bodies, Scorpia following with her pincer-mounted phaser as Russell joined them. Their targets fell with ease but were replaced with more and more of the strange green-eyed sentries. DeValera had used the respite to jump up and sprint for their exposed position, which was now coming under erratic disrupter fire, firey green bolts smashing into the wall around them as the Starfleet Officers make precise shots at their slowly closing opponents.

“Are you alright?” Adora asked as the Redshirt slid underneath a Phaser burst from Scorpia.

“I’ll be fine,” she said as she drew her phaser. “Their aim isn’t very good though!” As if to counter it, a disruptor bolt flew right over their heads and smashed into a column behind them. “We need better cover!” The Captain nodded in agreement.

“Scorpia! Russell! Into the control room!” The two officers nodded, Russell dragging the male body with one hand while Scorpia pulled the other one with one pincer, her other one still firing aimed shots at the approaching hostiles. They rushed through the doorway, the two junior officers crouching either side of it taking potshots.

“ _Alliance to Captain! We’ve got an inbound enemy vessel, weapons hot!”_ Bow sounded mortified. Adora suppressed a groan – as much as Bow was a good Officer, he was not someone who excelled at Bridge command. That was why she’d left Glimmer in Command, except that Glimmer had… _well we’ll deal with that if we make it out of here alive._

“Standby Bow!” Adora yelled, slamming her Communicator shut.

“They’re getting closer sir!” yelled DeValera as she took another shot. The Captain grimaced, then turned to see Catra and Entrapta hunched over the console.

“Is the shield down yet?”

“Not…..quite….” the chief engineer’s hand scrambled across the controls while Catra wrangled with the strange alien processors below. “Oh....oh dear.”

“ _Entrapta..”_ Adora pressed.

“We- we can’t bring the shield down without shutting down the computer!”

“What’s wrong with that?” Adora asked, the sound of disrupter fire edging closer and closer.

“We’d need to get the computer to authorise out shutdown programme and then it’d- I don’t know how long it’d take!” the Engineer looked distraught, but suddenly Catra stood up, turning to her with determination.

“Have you got all the readings you need from the computer? Both from it and the visuals?”

Entrapta gave her a weird look. “Yes, but-“

“Stand back!” Catra shoved the engineer behind her then levelled her phaser.

“Catra!” Entrapta warned. “If you do that then you’ll destroy the computer! You might even blow the whole base up”

“It’s the only way to shut the shield down!” Catra was already adjusting her Phaser to the highest setting.

“Commander!” Adora yelled. “What the hell do you think you’re- “

She was cut off by the sound of Catra’s Phaser firing into the exposed panel, which burned brightly the moment the blue beam struck it. The whole console erupted into flames, and the hologram began to flicker before it died. Outside, Adora heard the hiss of sparking electrics accompanied by a chorus of horrendous screams, but before she could turn to see what had happened, she felt the tingle of the transporter beam wash over her, and the next thing she knew she was standing in the transporter room, Glimmer and Chief Netossa staring at them in relief.

“Thank God,” Glimmer breathed, clapping the Transporter Chief on the back. Adora took a deep breath, then stepped off the platform.

“What happened?” she said, looking at the stricken faces of Scorpia and Russell.

“They…they just died. All of them.” Scorpia looked horrified. “All at once. You could see the electricity arcing through their bodies.” She shuddered. “These two were alright, but the others….” She trailed off.

Adora grimaced and glared at Catra. “Did you know that it was going to do that?” The First Officer looked at her with distant eyes. "Did you know you were going to take three dozen lives when you fired that shot?"

“There…there was no other way to shut the shield down without crashing the entire system.”

“Really? How do you know that?” Adora tried to hold her anger down as Catra still looked at her with a slightly vacant expression. 

“I…I just did. I don’t know how.” There was some light coming back to her eyes, but there was no fight behind it. Just _–_ just _fear._ Adora looked curiously at her for a second, then moved onto more important things.

“Entrapta, DeValera, get to work on the readings from that computer – I want to know what the hell that was down there, and fast.” The two officers nodded and headed out the room, Entrapta already babbling. “Scorpia, Russell, get those two to sickbay – make sure Mermista get’s those…control chips off as quickly as possible.” The Security chief nodded, hoisting the two bodies onto her shoulders.

“Wait!” the chief cried, running around the console to Scorpia. She stopped at one of the bodies, lifting her hair away from her face to cradle it in her eyes, running one hand over the silver-white chip embedded in her neck. “Spinny..” she breathed.

“What is it, Netossa?” Glimmer asked.

“It’s…” the chief turned around; her eyes were full of tears, but she was wearing a weak smile. “It’s my wife.”

“What?” Adora and Glimmer said in shock. Netossa nodded.

“It’s…it’s her. I promise.” Adora nodded earnestly at her. “Can I-“

“Go with her, chief.” She left with the security chief.

Glimmer watched them leave with a curious look.“That…I didn’t expect.” 

Adora whirled on her suddenly. “What the hell are you doing down here Lieutenant?” The Science officer's eyes went wide, flinching at the harsh reaction.

“I- I thought I could help!”

“I left you in command of the ship, which is currently at Red Alert status. In those circumstances, the most helpful you can be in those circumstances is to stay in the command chair, understood?”

“But Bow was there!” Glimmer pleaded, not expecting this level of anger.

“Mr Archer was not left in charge of the ship. You don’t get to bolt just because you think you could be useful somewhere else.” Glimmer went to argue more. “I don’t want to hear it, Mr Brightmoon. Get back to the bridge, at the double!” The Science Officer nodded nervously, then strode out the door, leaving Adora alone in the Transporter room with Catra, who still stood stock-still on the Transporter pad. “What is wrong with you?”

Catra blinked, then stepped slowly off of the pad and shuffled over to Adora. “I…I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Adora rolled her eyes. “I'll tell you what-“ Suddenly Catra was running past her to comms panel.

“Weaver to Sickbay!” she yelled.

“ _uhh…go ahead.”_ Mermista sounded perplexed, but not enough to say anything. “ _What’s up?”_

“Make sure to have an energy dampening field around the patients when you try to take the control chips off their necks.”

“ _Uhhh…what patients?”_ The sound of doors opening in the background came through the speaker, as Adora eyed her first officer. “ _Oh, those ones. An energy dampening field you say?”_

“Yes.” Catra nodded furiously to herself, her tail flicking agitatedly. “They have a failsafe in them. If you try to remove them normally, they’ll run an electric current through the subject’s nervous system and fry their brains.”

“ _Right. Thanks, Catra, for wherever you learnt that terrifying piece of information. Sickbay out.”_ Catra let out a sigh of relief, slumping against the bulkhead next to the panel and dropping until he was sitting on her heels

“What was that?” Adora stared her down.

“I…I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.” Adora glared at her, but the only emotion, behind a glimpse of defiance that was her usual reaction being yelled at, was fear.

“I…I really don’t. It just-“she shivered for a second. “It just came into my head. As if it had always been there.” Adora raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know where it came from. I **promise**.”

Adora sighed. “We can talk about this later.” She put her hand out and pulled Catra up. “We need to get to the bridge.” They walked in silence through the corridor, Adora stealing glances at her First Officer as they passed between the crew. The Caitian looked…disturbed. As if there something had knocked her over. Her eyes seemed unfocused, and Adora noticed her right palm squeezing and unsqueezing, as they reached the Turbolift. The last time she’d seen that-

That wasn’t going to happen again, was it?

“Bridge,” she called, the lift humming as it started moving. She glanced at Catra, who was now shaking visibly. “Halt,” she snapped, then rushed across the lift and grabbed her. “What is it?” she asked, holding Catra by both of her forearms. She stared at Adora with wide eyes.

“Did..did you recognise him, Adora?”

“Who?”

“Him…the hologram. Did you recognise him?”

“No.” Adora saw the horror in Catra’s eyes, the confidence she’d always known her childhood friend slipping away, like the tears that welled in her eyes.

“It’s him. Hordak.” She rattled, barely able to get the words out. “It was him.” Adora blinked, feeling her own heart race.

“The Governor? Are you sure?” Catra nodded. “How do you know?”

“I can hear..something?.” She screwed her face up. “I…I don’t know how, but it’s like I can hear him. Whispering. In the back of my head.”

“How do you know it’s him? For sure?”

Catra sniffed, then looked away from her. “I’m…not But I remember feeling like this before. This…hazy – this out of control.”

Adora cradled her closely. “When?” Catra sniffled. “When, Catra. This is important!”

“On the _Mikasa_ ,” she murmured, the stared at the ceiling. Adora went rigid, then ran her hands across the back of Catra’s neck. “Over Dryl. A-after I did-“she suddenly pulled away from Adora, shrinking from her. “I- I don’t know why it’s back! Why?”

“I don’t understand Catra.”

“Neither do I!” she yelled. Adora stared then fixed her expression into determination. She turned the control handle.

“Resume.” The lift began to whirr upwards again. “I’m going to bridge. You’re going to sickbay, understood?” Catra nodded meekly at the command. Adora realised she had reverted to the same coldness as she had with Glimmer but shook away the doubts. The ship needed Captain Gray now, not Adora. The doors slid open, and Catra eyed the bridge nervously.

“Mr Russo,” Adora said to one of the security guards at the door. “Take Commander Weaver to Sickbay.” The Redshirt nodded, stepping into the lift with the still white-faced Caitian. Adora didn’t look back as she stepped into the central well of the ship, where Glimmer sat in the command chair, eyeing a strange shape on the viewscreen.

“Is Catra alright?” she asked as she vacated the chair for Adora.

“Commander Weaver will be fine.” She snapped. “What have we got?” she said, gesturing at the unidentified ship on the screen.

“She first appeared when the shield went up over the command centre,” Seahawk answered as Glimmer went back to her station. “She appeared to come up from the planet’s atmosphere.”

“She was armed, but once the shield went down….” Glimmer shrugged. “She’s still got power, but she’s just idling.” Adora leaned forward in the chair.

“What will happen if we leave her?”

“She’ll drift into the planet’s gravity well and burn up on re-entry within a few days.” Adora nodded an affirmation.

“Can we get a closer look?” The screen blinked as Glimmer adjusted it for a zoomed shot of the ship. It was a long, arrowhead-shaped ship, with aerodynamic fins above its warp nacelles. Its hull plating was a smooth, silvery-white sheen - at least it would be if it was not so battered and bruised, grey and brown chunks marking the surface of what was once a clean, smooth hull.

“Are those Klingon Disrupters?” Lonnie asked, peering over her console.

“They are!” Glimmer said in shock. “Mark 9s. From a D-6 by the look of it.”

“Did the Klingons arm these people?” Seahawk asked.

“I doubt it,” Lonnie shot back. “Those look like they were ripped right off the ship they came from.” Adora stood up, slowly walking around the forward console to look at the ship.

“Glimmer, I want as many scans of that ship as you can manage. Every sensor you’ve got.” The Science Officer lifted her head to make a query but ducked back down when she saw the determined look on the Captain’s face, saving her precociousness for another time. "Make sure to send them down to Entrapta and Russell."

Adora went back to look at the drifting vessel. “I’ve seen ships like this before…” she murmured. She peered at the shapes, the blade-like angles arcing away from a forward disrupter, the faded green glow of the deactivated main deflector grid, then suddenly she remembered. She remembered it all. The menacing smile of Governor Hordak over the viewscreen as the ship went to Red Alert. The bridge of the _Mikasa_ , burning as she clung onto the Helm console as three of the blade-like vessels charged them down. The Phaser’s refusing to answer as Captain Kearney lay bleeding out on the deck, while Commander Carrero tried to steer the ship out of orbit. The acrid smoke she fought her way through to find-

“Catra...” she breathed, then she turned and went back to the command chair, opening a channel. “Bridge to de Garnet.”

 _“De Garnet here, sir_.” Scorpia sounded tired but attentive.

“I want guards on Sickbay, on the double.”

 _“Are-are you sure, sir?_ _The Doctor has both patients sedated and restrained, for now, I don’t know what two Redshirts will do._ ”

Adora grimaced. “They’re not for them.”

“ _Oh.”_ Scorpia sounded confused.

“Just do it, Lieutenant.”

“ _Aye sir. De Garnet out_.”

She sighed, running a hand down her face. “Bow, can you get me Starfleet Command?” He gave her a confused look. “Just answer the question.”

“We’re still within range, sir.”

Adora nodded, then gripped the sides of the command chair. “Get me Admiral FitzPatrick.”

***

_“Catra!” Adora’s scream could be heard above the crackle of flames and blaring sirens as Catra tried to push herself up from the floor of the Phaser control room. She barely remembered any of the battle, apart from the splitting headache she’d had all day and the fact that the Phaser’s had refused to power up. After that, all she remembered was the sound of the room collapsing around her, and the screams of her colleagues as they were crushed by falling beams, and the terrifying crash as the ceiling above her came down on top of her as she struggled to escape the smoke-filled room. “Where are you Catra!” Adora was clambering over a collapsed bulkhead, past the bodies of Specialist Kilroy and Hutchinson._

_“I’m over here!” Catra groaned, wincing as her leg twisted underneath a fallen hunk of metal._

_“Hold still!” her friend yelled. “I’m coming to get you!” She heard the sound of metal being moved around, and suddenly through the smoke came Adora, her face grey with soot, hair hanging askew, a long gash down the side of her blue and gold uniform as she shoved aside debris to get to her._

_“H-Hey Adora,” Catra managed, her breath laboured with smoke inhalation. Adora smiled weakly, but then looked down at her foot. “I think I’m stuck,” the Caitian ventured._

_“Hang on.” She crouched down and grabbed the metal, groaning as she lifted it. Catra took the chance to scramble out from underneath, hissing at the pain in her as she dragged it across the deck. Adora dropped her load and climbed over to Catra, running her eyes all over her body. “Let me help you!”_

_“I can stand!” Catra insisted, beginning to lift herself up on her arms, but then she felt Adora lift her up and sling her over her shoulders in a fireman’s lift, before carrying her through the smoke-filled chaos to the corridor. “Adora, I’m ok, put me down!” The corridor (or what Catra could see of it) wasn’t much better – the smoke may have been clearer, but the flickering lights and smashed conduits were enough to tell her that the ship wasn’t in much of a better state than the room she’d been in._

_“Your leg is broken, Catra.” She couldn’t see the blondes face from where she was, but she could sense the look of determination that she must have just from memory. “We’re going to sickbay.” Catra didn’t protest. Her head throbbed, and she felt herself fading in and out of consciousness._

_“What happened?” she murmured as Adora carried her past a Damage Control party readying a firehose._

_“You don’t remember?”_

_“I…” Why didn’t she remember? “I must be con..conc..” she winced, her head whirring with foreign sounds and voices._

_“You’re definitely concussed,” Adora concluded, as they turned the corner to the outside of Sickbay, where medical technicians had set up a triage zone that was already overflowing with wounded. "We were attacked by three ships without warning. We barely detected them before our shields were down and they were punching through the hull. We couldn't get the Phasers online."_

_"I...I remember that..." Catra murmured. "Are we safe? Now?"_

_"Commander Carrero took us out of orbit," Adora supplied. "Well, I guess she'd Captain Carrero now." Catra's stomach sank. Kearney had been a good Captain- he'd treated her fairly, ignoring the looming shadow of her foster mother and her powers. She'd miss him._

_“What’s her injury?” An unknown voice asked, and Catra realised that Adora must have been waiting for a member of the medical staff to come to their aid._

_“Broken right leg, and a heavy concussion,” her friend replied._

_“And you, Lieutenant?”_

“ _I’m fine.” Adora snapped. “Just look after her.”_

_“Alright,” the voice said dubiously. “Put her over there.” Adora proceeded down the corridor before stopping the other side of the sickbay doors._

_“I’m going have to leave you here, ok?” She said as she crouched down._

_“But-“ Catra felt herself being lifted off Adora’s shoulder and carefully laid down on a stretcher. “What about you?”_

_“I’m fine, I promise,” Adora said, her warm eyes meeting Catra’s._

_“But-“ Catra waved a weak hand at the open gash on Adora’s chest._

_“I’ll be ok. Look after yourself first, please, for me?” Adora had taken her hand in hers and together pressed them onto Catra’s chest over her heart. “Promise?”_

_“I – I promise.” Catra nodded quickly. Adora smiled. She squeezed her hand then stood up._

_“I’m gonna go and help, ok?” Adora straightened her tunic, then rolled her sleeves up._

_“Be careful!” Catra croaked, straining to sit up as Adora walked away._

_“Always am!” she grinned back. Catra smiled, then groaned as a wave of nausea overtook her. She lay back, her eyes flickering closed. Suddenly, she felt a welt of pain in the back of her, like a sharp cut._

_“ **Well done, little sister. You have served us well.”**_ _Catra’s eyes blinked open in shock._

_“Who was that?” he said, looking around frantically. All she heard was the beeps of medical devices and hiss of smoke leaving conduits._

_“_ Are you ok, Commander?” _A voice came from in front of her, but there was no one there._

 _“_ What?” _Catra croaked._

“Commander!” Catra blinked her eyes open to see Mermista staring at her. “Now you’re awake, can you please hold still!”

“…awake?”

“Yeah. Russo dropped you off here like, an hour ago and you collapsed on one of my beds.”

“An hour ago?” Catra tried to sit up, but the Doctor pushed her back onto the bed. “But- but I need to be on the bridge! I need to-“

“You need to stay, like, right here until I figure out what made you pass out in the middle of Sickbay.” Mermista was scanning her with several different implements, the beeping noises grating Catra.

“There’s a hostile ship in Orbit! I can’t lie in sickbay while-“

The Doctor rolled her eyes. “It’s inactive. Just a piece of space junk floating in orbit, like you’ll be if you don’t lie back down.”

“What about the two people from the planet? Did you-“ Mermista dismissed her with a wave.

“Yes, I used an energy dampening field, no, there were no complications, they’re still resting next door, no, you can’t talk to them.”

Catra blinked. “Next door?” she looked around the room, realising she was in the secondary check-up room instead of the main sickbay. “Why aren’t I in the main room.”

“Captain’s orders,” Mermista said, looking at the Medbay readouts about her.

“The same ones that put Mr Russo on the door?” The Redshirt didn’t look at her.

“I dunno,” Mermista said. “I was too busy, I dunno, trying to save lives here.” Suddenly, she crooked an eyebrow upwards. “You swallow a communicator or something?”

“What?” Catra snorted. “What is this, open mic night?” Mermista looked unimpressed. “Seriously, Doc, what are you playing at?”

“I don’t play games in my sickbay, Commander.” She shut her scanner off and sighed. “Your collapse was caused by the electrical impulses from…something on the back of your neck.”

“My neck?” Catra rubbed the back of her neck.

“Uh-huh.” Whatever that device is, it’s also transmitting two way between you and…somewhere.”

“Somewhere?” Catra huffed. “Can’t you tell me where?”

“I’m a Doctor, not a Communications Officer,” Mermista shot back. “I’ll get Entrapta to look at it in a moment, but until-“ the doors slid open, and Adora strode through the door, her face set with determination.

“Doctor?” She queried in a commanding tone. Mermista groaned, then stepped away from the biobed to converse with Captain on the other side of the room. Catra craned to hear but then winced as another wave of pain rose through her. She blinked, remembering the same wince in the back of her neck before.

“Hey, Doc, you got something for the pain?” she asked, sitting up.

“What pain?”

“In the back of my neck. What other places would be causing me pain?” Mermista gave her a confused look, but stepped away from Adora (who still watched her from the other side of the room) and grabbed a hypospray, leaning over Catra to administer the shot.

“Hold still

“ **Li-ttt S- _strrr…”_ **the sudden words were slurred and contorted as if put through a broken computer, and they filled Catra’s brain, shutting out all other thought. Suddenly the pain was worse, and she screamed, going to grab the back of her neck before her arms were pulled forward, out of her control. “ **Little _Sis_ terrrrr…” **her hands were suddenly at Mermista’s throat, the Doctor’s eyes wide as Catra’s thumbs began to press at her throat against her will, and as much as she tried to pull them back, her brain was dampened with the static, and she couldn't focus.

“Catra!” Adora yelled as she leapt across the room, wrenching her hands from Mermista’s neck.

“I- can’t stop it!” her head and neck throbbed, her brain filled with the eery voice taking over every nook and cranny. “Make it stop!” she yelled, barely aware of Adora grabbing her and holding her down as she flailed about, trying to rip whatever it was that was speaking to her through the back of her neck from beneath her skin.

 **“Do _not_ fii- fight it..” **She felt once hand moving to Adora’s neck, fighting to hold it away, her claws extending without her even realising. “Help me!” she cried, as Adora grabbed the offending arm and held it down, despite the terrifying commands from out of Catra’s body fighting her.

“Her blood pressure and heart rate are rising…brain activity is through the roof!” She could barely hear her over the overwhelming fog in her head, the static overbearing all her thoughts.

 **“C _om_ \- t _o_ _m_ e, _lLit_ t…lleee _Si_ sss _t_ eeerrr…” **The voice was still garbled, but it was louder, overpowering Catra’s brain.

“Catra!” Adora yelled, holding her down as Mermista prepared a hypospray. “Focus on me Catra, Focus on my voice!” The pain in Catra’s head was stronger, sharper, the static voice boring into her head, but she latched onto Adora’s face staring straight at her, and the firm hands on each of her shoulders. “Come back to me, Catra!”

“ ** _Commmme to_ Pri-“**there was a hiss as the hypospray pushed into Catra’s arm, and then suddenly the disjointed voice was gone, and the fog in Catra’s head lifted slowly.

“Catra?” Adora’s voice was low, soft, but still the voice of a superior officer, not a friend.

“Hey, Adora...” she said tentatively. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s..it’s fine,” The Captain said, rubbing the bloody spot on her wrist where Catra’s claws had dug in.

Catra winced, then glanced at the doctor. “I’m..I’m sorry.”

“Don’t mention it,” Mermista said, rubbing her neck, the red bruise from Catra’s fingers already visible.

“What…. what did you do?”

“I used a suppressant to dull the nerve endings around it,” she said, eyeing the readings above her head. “It’s still working I think, but as long as I keep shooting you up, it shouldn’t hurt.”

“…the voice?” She asked. Mermista glanced at Adora.

“If you can’t hear it…then I guess it’s gone?” the Doctor shrugged. “I’ll need to run more tests.” Catra groaned.

“They’ll have to wait,” she went to stand up, only to be met by Adora standing in front of her.

“You’re not going anywhere,” she said, arms crossed on her chest.

Mermista snorted. “For once, a Captain who thinks the way I do. Where have you been my entire life!” Adora glared at her, then back to Catra.

“I can’t have you roaming the halls while that thing is still in your neck. Whatever it is, it took control of your body and damn near throttled the both of us.”

“I can control it!” Catra shot back. “I just need the suppressant!”

“I’m not sure that it will work for very long,” Mermista countered. “It’s already beginning to wear off. I’ll need a stronger dosage next time.”

“Gee, thanks for the support Doc,” the First Officer huffed.

“Anytime.” Catra rolled her eyes.

“The point is,” Adora continued irritably, “that at present you are a threat to the crew of this ship, whether you like it or not.” Her stern face became softer for a second. “I know that it’s…out of your control, but you understand why I have to do this.” Catra stared at her, searching for an ulterior motive, some sign that this was all some delusion, part of some plot to get rid of her, some sign that all along Adora _had_ hated her, and that this was her taking the chance to dispose of her pesky little ex-friend for good. It would have been easier if it were really just Catra against the universe.

All she could find, however, was the stoic concern of someone who knew that their actions could decide the fate of nearly 300 people, and a soft smile that hid fear – fear not of her, but of what could happen to her. She felt Adora take her right hand in both of hers, squeezing it tightly. Catra blushed, but she nodded a quick affirmation. “I get it.”

“Good,” Adora said, smiling at her, her eyes full of a level of concern Catra did not really understand. “Besides, I won’t let you get bored.” The Captain handed her a Padd, which was a surprise. “I need you to compile a report based on these, as well as your own personal experience and speculations, to be delivered to the command staff."

“Oh gee, paperwork, not like I have enough of that.” Adora frowned slightly. “What?” The Captain sighed

“I’m having Lieutenant Brightmoon take over your main duties while you’re in Quarantine.”

“Oh.” Catra tried to hide her jealously and bitterness behind a professional nod. “Is..she up to it?”

“No,” Adora sighed, “but I need you focused on digesting this.” She tapped the Padd, directing Catra’s attention to it.

“What is this exactly?”

Adora’s jaw tightened again as she looked away from Catra. “It’s a declassified report of the Dryl Incident.” Catra looked at her in shock. “Admiral Fitzpatrick has given us specific access to the files, as well as other…related access to personnel.”

“Why?” Adora looked her with a scathing stare. Catra felt her stomach lurch. “Oh. You think-“

“I saw the ships Catra.” She said, pacing slightly. “Arrowheads. Silver Arrowheads. They’re the same.” Catra stared at her, as she turned back to face her. “I need it done within the next 52 hours, understood?”

Catra crooked her head slightly. “Why 52?”

Adora looked away from her again. “Because that’s when we arrive at Mystacor.”

“Mystacor?” Catra stared at her for a second. “Why are we going to Mystacor?”

Adora’s whole body stiffened, and Catra could tell that she was debating whether to tell her what was going on or not, finally, she unclenched her balled fists and turned to the biobed. “We need to consult someone. Someone who knows more than is in those files.”

“Who? Who on Mystacor could we-“she looked up at Adora, who had a sad, apologetic look in her eyes all of a sudden, and Catra suddenly felt very small, very bitter and very angry. “Shadow Weaver.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in update: End of Term Assignments have caught up with me a little, as has my other slightly batty She-Ra Brainrot.
> 
> Also: if you're interested, here's the playlist I listen to to get me in the mood for writing this...whatever this is  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/26mRpf4DwxDJHf3G0f6PlG?si=zPqedBWHQYeyzDKKLCfJ2w 
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed it! Until next time!


	10. No Escape

_“I hate Calculus,” Catra groaned. Adora merely smiled at her. “What? I do!”_

_“You don’t hate Calculus,” she chided, “You’re so good at it!” Her friend still smiled at her despite Catra’s glower as they walked down the leafy streets of the Straczynski Colony towards their homes. The two of them had both lived there as long as they remembered – they’d known each other since their parents had worked together long ago, and despite many attempts to separate them, even fostering and adoption hadn’t managed to drive a wedge between the duo, who had ended up living across from each other. Adora called it fate – Catra called it luck, though when she did believe in fate she was inclined to agree with her friend. Said friend looked down at her (puberty had sent Adora rocketing past Catra to gangly heights) with big blue eyes and a wide grin. “You’re sooo much better with the numbers than I am!”_

_“No I’m not,” she stomped. “Not as good as you, Ms Goody-too-shoes, top of the class every single test.”_

_“What do you mean?” Adora gave her a confused look as they rounded a corner. “You got, like 89 on that last test! That’s great!”_

_“You got 92,” Catra hissed, shrugged her backpack on her hunched shoulders and staring at the floor._

_“That’s only because you helped me study, silly! And anyway it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, I know you’re the smartest person in the class.” Catra looked up from her sulking to see her friend looking at her with earnestness. “You actually like the learning – the problem-solving. I just learn it all by rote. You actually enjoy it though! That makes you smarter than all the other chumps in that classroom.”_

_“Chumps?” Catra raised an eyebrow. "Where does a 14-year-old pick up a word like chumps?"_

_“It’s a word Mara uses!”_

_“It’s dumb.”_

_“I like it!” Adora grinned._

_“That’s cos you’re a dummy,” Catra teased, poking Adora in the stomach. “And you like dumb words.”_

_“Well I hope you do, cos I’m gonna start calling everyone a chump, isn’t that right you chump?” the blonde girl said with a grin. Catra gave a mock groan and rolled her eyes. “I know you do..”_

_“I do not! Shut up!” Catra gave her friend a shove, Adora giggling and shoving her back. “You’re such a dork!”_

_“Yeah, but I’m your dork,” she said smugly, making Catra blush slightly as she smiled at her, before the blondie became suddenly nervous. “Hey, Catra? Do you wanna come over today? Mara’s making Mac and Cheese!”_

_The Caitian grinned at the prospect. Catra’s foster mother – a relative of her mum’s called Sharon Weaver – was almost always away on work for the Federation, often leaving Catra alone in their massive home with little warning but a terse note and a pittance of credits for the food synthesiser. That wasn’t much better than when Weaver was around in Catra’s opinion. For a long time, Catra had been too stubborn to tell anyone about her ‘forgotten’ meals until Adora had noticed her stealing food from people’s trays at lunchtime. The Blonde Girl had practically dragged Catra back to her house and made Mara – he elder half-sister – feed her. Catra pretended she didn’t like the ritual, but Adora and Mara’s cluttered, messy house was always more like home than the cold, sterile cleanliness of her own abode._

_“Catarina!” She was about to reply when a voice from the other side of the street called out, making Catra’s blood run cold. She turned slowly to see the sallow, masked face of her carer standing at the doorway to her house. “What took you so long to get home? Your schooling ended over 30 minutes ago!”_

_“I-“_

_“I do not want to hear your excuses, child!” she snapped, stepping out of the door to come closer to the two of them. Catra felt the sun seemed to ebb away as she came to stand next to her, her world filling with shadows as the woman loomed over her._

_“I’m sorry Ms Weaver!” Adora said brightly, ignoring the panicked glance from Catra. “Catra was helping me with some Calculus work and we ran over!”_

_Weaver looked unimpressed. “Really? Catarina? Helping **you**_ _with work? I wouldn’t think that she would have anything to offer you of all people Adora.” Catra resisted the urge to fight back, knowing that at best she’d be locked in her room and at worst-_

_“I wouldn’t have done so well in this week’s test if it wasn’t for Catra!” Adora continued, oblivious to the fear in Catra’s eyes that lay behind her sullen grimace. “She’s very smart.”_

_“Is she now,” Weaver said, casting her pit-like black eyes over Catra like an invasive sensor beam. “Well, at least she is good for something.” She reached out and grabbed the Caitian roughly. “Come, Catarina, we have wasted enough of young Ms Gray’s time.” She went to pull Catra towards their house, Catra struggling slightly in her firm grip._

_“But-“ Catra began_

_“Actually Ms Weaver,” Adora began tentatively, eyes flicking between her friend and her foster mother. “Would it be ok if Catra came over this afternoon? I wanted to do a bit more studying for our Physics test.” The woman glared at Adora, who stilled slightly as she was probed by her eyes, but the blonde stood her ground, holding her rucksack while giving Weaver a polite smile. “Please? I’ll make sure she’s back before 8.”_

_Weaver’s glare softened slightly – as much as she could ever soften. “Very well, but I would like a word with Catarina first.” Catra sighed in relief before she felt herself being dragged into her house, the door slamming shut behind her. She dropped her bag as Weaver slammed her against the wall. “What do you think you are playing at, child?”_

_“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Catra replied._

_“Oh really? 89 per cent in Maths? 85 in Literature? 78 in History?” Catra blinked. “I know your failures, Catarina! I know how little you try, how little you care, how ready you are to waste your life away!”_

_“That’s-that’s not true! I just – I can’t be top of the class in everything?”_

_“Is that your excuse for the Dishonour you bring on this house?” Weaver had loosened her grip on Catra, but the girl was still pinned against the wall by the mere fury of the woman who claimed to be her ‘mother’. “I recused you from a life of destitution and poverty and waste, bring you up under my own roof, try to give you **some** of the lessons I have learned in my life, and you pay me back with what? Failure after failure after failure!”_

_“I do not!” Catra protested. “Mr Randall says if I keep my grades up I’ll have a shot at the Academy!”_

_“Is that what you want to do with your life?” Weaver sneered. “Give your life up to the altar of ‘liberty’? To become a cog in the Starfleet machine? I have plans for you Catra. Ambitions. You could be capable of so much more if you listen to me. If you just **listen to the light of Prime.**_

_“What?” Catra blinked, and suddenly Weaver’s eyes, instead of the deep, empty black were a neon, sickly green, and the light from outside was the same colour, bathing Catra’s world in a hue of putrid lime-green as she felt herself begin to shrink. “What is this?” she screamed, her voice no longer sounding like her own._

_“Catra!” A voice called from outside the house. “Catra, please! What have you done?”_

_“Adora?” she called out, grasping for the door but feeling herself being held down by some unknown force. She looked down to see her body being pulled into a bath of luminous, green liquid “Adora! Help me! Please!” she screamed again, her throat hoarse with yelling._

_“ **Come to Prime’s light,”** Weaver’s voice boomed. **“Redeem yourself for your failure, child.** ” _

_“Why did you do it Catra?” Adora’s voice pleaded again, desperately. “Why?”_

_“I don’t know,” she pleaded. “I don’t know, please, please!” The green liquid was up to her neck now, and Catra began gasping for air as it began to rise above her head. “Adora!”_

_“Catra!” the voice called, distant and unclear as the green liquid subsumed Catra entirely, her whole world now just the terrifying light. She felt it pressing into her brain, suffocating her thoughts and destroying her mind, the words of Weaver rolling about in her mind, tearing away at her confidence and dreams and loves. “Catra, please!” Adora’s voice was ebbing away every second. Catra reached out with her arms desperately, begging for this to end before her brain was taken by the voices._

“Adora!” she yelled, bolting upright in her bed. Catra’s forehead was beaded with sweat, and as she wiped it from her brow, she realised she was still in the Quarantine room on the _Alliance_. This was her third night here. Her third night with those same haunted nightmares made of broken memories and drowning in a pool of green light. She leant back on her elbows taking in the three walls of her prison she could see from her biobed, the thumping of her own heart repeated on the monitor above her head. It wasn’t a particularly homely place – just grey walls, a computer console and screen and some medical scanners on the other side of the room. Then again, there wasn’t really anywhere that could as home to Catra. Had there ever been? She didn’t think so. This prison wasn’t much better, to be honest.

“Computer, time?” she asked.

 **“ _The time is 02:23 hours.”_** Catra sighed. She lay back for a second and closed her eyes, the shifting voices and booming commands flowed through her mind the moment she closed her eyes.

“For fuck’s sake,” she groaned, opening her eyes again and sitting up, this time swinging her legs over to perch on the side of the bed, reaching for the hyposprays on the counter next to her. After her first night of nightmares and chilling commands, which had ended in a screaming Catra having to be sedated before she could scratch Mermista’s eyes out, the Doctor had made sure that Catra had the correct hypos available to put herself out if she woke up in the middle of the night. It had worked the last two nights, even if it had made Catra feel drowsy all day anyway. Not that she had much work to do anyway. She took the hypospray with the suppressant and applied it to her neck, the device hissing as she injected it into the area around the goddamn chip in her skin, before glancing back at the sedative on the table.

She glanced over at the computer console to the left of the bed, which still displayed the latest draft of her brief to the command staff that she was supposed to give tomorrow. She still, honestly, wasn’t happy with it, even though she’d had _literally_ nothing else to do for the last two days but read all the briefings that had been declassified (there had been a **lot** more than she’d expected gathering dust in the Starfleet archives). It...hadn’t been easy to detach herself from the events, knowing the role she’d played in it all, knowing that she played a role forming those lists of dead personnel and destroyed Starships, even if she’d not even known. She had played a role in this, even if she didn’t know.

 _But I can get it right this time,_ she told herself. _If I do this right, I can stop this happening again._ She slipped off the bed and pulled on her uniform pants, glancing for a second at her gold tunic before leaving it behind, not really caring to exchange the comfort of the dark breathable t-shirt for it. Right now, the rank braids and stylised _Alliance_ flower felt wrong to be wearing. That Catra was being attacked right now, by herself, by a force within her brain that was hacking away at every piece of self-confidence and growth she’d made in the last six years.

She closed her eyes, the shining green lights of Prime glowing in her head before she blinked them open again.

“Will you please just fuck off?” she groaned, turning to the food synthesiser and calling up for black coffee, leaning against the wall as it quietly hummed. She’d start now by looking again at the section on what exactly the Horde was – there had been some more work done on that by Starfleet Intelligence since her trial six years ago, even if Hordak himself hadn’t been around to help then. She’d just sat down and booted the system up when her door chime sounded. She paused for a second, not entirely sure if she had made the sound up, her ears pricked up to hear anything over the constant hum of the warp engines.

Catra really hadn’t had visitors while she’d been in here. She’d seen Mermista every day, the doctor nonchalantly scanning her and off-handedly commenting about how pleased she was that Catra wasn’t trying to choke her to death. Scorpia and Entrapta had come once, the engineer babbling excitedly about all the progress she’d made on uncovering the hidden program in the Eternian computer until the Caitian had felt ill. Perfuma had left her a plant, for some reason. But no one else came, really. She understood why. She resented being locked up like this, restrained for her own safety and that of everyone around her. At best she was a charity case; at worst, a threat to all her comrades and friends.

The door chimed again, and she groaned, trying to figure out who exactly would be up at 2:30 in the morning and want to talk to her of all people. Best guess? Entrapta had made some wild and completely incomprehensible breakthrough at 2 am and **needed** to tell someone immediately. Or maybe Scorpia had decided that Catra was lonely and would like some company.

“Come on in then,” she grumbled turning in the chair to face the door, watching the door nonchalantly. It slid open with a squeak, and in walked a security officer (Captain’s orders, she presumed) and Glimmer, of all people. Catra couldn’t help but let her eyes widen at the sight of the Science officer, who stood facing her with one hand holding a Padd, the other with it’s had fidgeting in a balled fist.

“Well, you’re not dead yet,” she deadpanned, watching Catra curiously. She looked tired – just as tired as Catra looked, to be frank. Her Pink-purple hair was tousled and unkempt, despite whatever lengths she had gone to to make it look professional.

“I’m feeling fine too Sparkles,” Catra shot back, smirking at the tired scowl on the other woman’s face. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Glimmer rolled her eyes before dismissing the security guard and strolling over to Catra, thrusting the Padd in Catra’s direction.

“It’s a Padd, Lieutenant. You use it to do work.” Catra looked up from it to give her a mock confused look. “You did get taught that at the Msytacor Academy, right? Or did they have to teach you to read first?”

“It’s _your_ work,” she sneered, dropping the Padd into Catra’s arms. “I can’t make head nor tail of it.”

“Why would you need to-“ Catra stopped herself, remembering what Glimmer was doing right now, which not only explained why she was looking at Catra’s recommendation document but why she looked like she had had about four hours sleep in the last 24 hours. “Oh,” she said quietly. “I see.” With her sorry ass locked up her, Glimmer had been provisionally assigned to the First officer's duties, and from what Catra could see, she wasn’t exactly warming to the job.

“You see?” Glimmer snarked. “Good. Cos I cannot make head nor tail of this. Maybe you can tell what your unintelligible script says.” Catra peered at her for a second, waiting for the next barb to fly, but Glimmer merely stared back at her expectantly. “Well?”

Catra looked back at the chart, a few choice snarky remarks and sharp quips on her tongue, but instead she decided that there was absolutely nothing to gain right now in pushing the sparkly woman to the edge. “These are my notes on improvements to the current preparations for bringing the ship to General Quarters.”

“Thank the Lord, the Woman can read!” Glimmer threw her hands up, waving them in mock celebration. Catra was not amused.

“Listen, do you want my help or not?”

“Do you think I’m here for a courtesy call?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “If you’re going to be all pissy, you can have this back and leave me alone.” Glimmer pouted as she went to hand the Padd back, halting before she deposited in the Science Officer’s arms. “Or, you can try and treat me with some decorum, and we can get this done." Glimmer glowered at her for another second, before huffing and pulling a chair up from the medical console, plopping herself down to Catra’s side.

“So,” Catra began, scanning through the document. “I take it that Ad-The Captain wants my changes implemented?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Glimmer shot back, arms folded. “ _Adora_ just wants to see what the options are.”

“I take it she presumes we’ll see some action soon,” Catra said, running a finger along the lines as she skim read the document.

“I wonder why,” Glimmer snorted. "She's told us sweet fuck-all about what's going on, but I can make my own guesses."

Catra looked up into the Science Officer's fierce glare.“What are you saying, Lieutenant?”

“I don’t need to say anything,” she replied. “You’re the one quarantined in here, for some reason.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Are you saying I’m a threat to this ship?” She said it accusatorily, watching Glimmer’s face as the cogs turning in her head.

Glimmer stared through here, giving her enough of an answer. Catra huffed, but she knew that she agreed with Glimmer at heart. Frankly, She didn’t know exactly how dangerous she was. It was- it was frightening, not knowing how much control she had over her body, losing that freedom over herself. It was like-

Well, it was like being 14 again, trapped in Weaver’s house again, not knowing what she was going to do to her this time. She hadn’t thought a lot about weaver in the last six years, not since the trial, the last time she’d seen the bastard woman in the flesh, sneering at her across the courtroom, glowering as she was-

 _There’s no point dwelling on that now is there_ , she reminded herself. “Thank you for being honest with me, Lieutenant. In your own way.” Glimmer blinked at Catra’s earnestness. “So, what’s the problem?”

“I-“ Glimmer sighed. “I’m a science officer. I might be ok in a fight-“Catra smirked at that- “But I don’t know what I’m doing with a ship.” She looked up, weariness in her eyes. “I don’t know where you learnt all this.”

“I had a lot of time to run simulations when I was stuck planetside,” Catra said with a grin, a small smile running across Sparkle’s face before it returned to weary agitation. “Listen, I don’t think you want me to go through all of this right now, do you?”

“Not really,” she replied. “Just tell me what the gist of it is.”

“Basically, I suggested Phaser targeting and control be handled directly through the Tactical Console instead of the Helm.” Glimmer raised an eyebrow, less in scepticism and more in confusion. “It means that Fire Control is handled separately from the Helm console,”

“Meaning that Seahawk can focus on flying the ship,” Glimmer finished. “But don’t most ships use their targeting scanner for that?” Catra went to reply, but then Glimmer continued. “But the _Alliance_ doesn’t have a dedicated Fire Control Room feeding data to the Helmsman, so they have to do all that themselves.”

“Which, as advanced as this ship is, takes time and skill and as much as Seahawk is a good pilot, he’s not that good.” Glimmer nodded in understanding. “Also, I feel like he’d find a way to set the ship on fire as well.” Catra couldn’t help but smile at her own joke.

“The Torpedoes are staying with helm and navigation though, as well as an override targeting array, just in case though.”

“You’re getting the hang of this, Sparkles.” The Science officer nodded but didn’t smile with Catra. “Is…there anything else?” Glimmer gave a small shrug.

“I think I can handle it from here.” Her eyes were locked on Catra as she picked the Padd up. “I can follow it through.”

Catra nodded, realising that the limited warmth of the conversation was already over, the small woman staring at her with questioning eyes. There seemed to be no direct fear – only agitation, and apprehensive curiosity. She wasn’t scared of Catra. She was sizing her up.

“Can I ask you a question, Lieutenant?”

“Shoot.” Glimmer folded her arms and stared a Catra.

“Does the Captain think I’m a threat to this ship?” If Glimmer was surprised to hear the question, she didn’t show it, instead of letting out a long weary breath as she drummed up a reply.

“She thinks that whatever is controlling you is a threat.” Glimmer sounded somewhat unconvinced by the statement. “That _the voice in your head_ ” she sneered those words- “is doing this to you.” Glimmer’s expression hardened as Catra stared at her. “At least that’s what she says to me. When she talks about it at all.”

“Fine,” Catra said, standing up and going to face Glimmer, twitching the voice in her head whispered violent suggestions into her mind. She shoved them away. “I know you don’t believe me.”

“I don’t have to. I have my orders.”

“Good for you,” Catra growled.

“So do you, _Commander_ ,” Glimmer shot back, gestured to the control panel. “Make sure not to skip anything, eh?” she sneered. Catra resisted the urge to roll her eyes or throw a snark back, her tail twitching behind her. Instead, she took a long, deep breath, watching Glimmer stare her down defiantly.

“Is that all, Mr Brightmoon?” She asked, stared down at her.

“Yes, sir.”

“Great. Now, get out,” Catra snapped, not bothering to watch while Glimmer strutted out of the room. She sighed in frustration, and went back to the console, her eyes drooping as she began to read for the fourth or fifth time. She knew Glimmer was right not to trust her, or what she said. She couldn’t trust it entirely herself. But she had to try and make things better this time.

***

Catra watched the collected command staff carefully as she stood at the front of the room, her tail swishing behind her. It was the first time she’d seen most of them since she’d gotten back from Erelandia. Mermista, over course, had accompanied her from sickbay, shooting her neck up with the suppressant just before they left before sidling in next to Seahawk, who beamed at Catra from behind his moustache (which seemed shinier than she remembered). Scorpia had greeted her with a massive hug (not entirely unexpected), while Entrapta had babbled on about how she was _this_ close to being able to find out exactly where Eternia actually was. Bow made some passing comment about bringing her Cello to the quarantine room (where exactly he’d found out that she played the instrument evaded her), while Glimmer simply glared at her.

The Captain hadn’t been here when she’d arrived, so despite everyone else being seating, Catra had merely stood awkwardly at the front of the room, bouncing on the balls of her feet while the others chatted amongst themselves. She felt like a spectacle in front of them, the senior staff whispering in twos and threes about her (presumably) while she stood alone. Separate. Catra hated it. She was about to ask when Adora was coming when the woman in question can striding through the conference room doors, the senior staff standing as she entered.

“Keep your seats,” she muttered, ignoring her First Officer entirely as she passed behind her and sat in a chair, watching the collected officers studiously. “Thank you all for coming. I know that being in the dark for so long on this hasn’t been easy, but hopefully, this briefing should clear it all up.”

“So, we’re going to actually find out what the hell this is all about?” Glimmer asked, tediously. Catra glanced at Adora, who was staring past her at the viewscreen. "I guess we're not about to find out the real homeworld of the Eternian empire?"

"That project of ours is going to be on hold until further notice," The Captain replied sharply. Catra glanced at her- partially for permission to begin, and partially for reassurance. She got neither.

“Do you want to start, sir, or shall I?” she asked tentatively. Adora glanced at her briefly, before going back to the viewscreen.

“You take the lead, Commander,” she said stoically. Catra took a breath in, started the presentation, and turned to the group.

“Everything I am about to say is officially classified by Starfleet Command. It will not leave this room without the express permission of either the Captain or Myself.” She switched to the next slide, which showed a diagram of the Eternia sector, the Crimson Waste Malestrom labelled as a yellow cloud. “How aware are you of the situation in this sector during the last Klingon War?”

“It was…contested, right?” Scorpia suggested. “Neither we nor the Klingons had total control.”

“That’s the official story.”

“What’s the actual story then?” Mermista asked.

Catra changed to the next slide. “This, “she said, gesturing to the gaunt, sallow-faced man on the viewscreen. “Is Phillip Hordak, senior administrator of the Eternia Sector in 2257.” Hordak looked like a slightly less disjointed more alive (barely) version of the hologram that had appeared back on Erelandia. His hair was blue, slicked back in a similar fashion to the hologram. His eyes, despite being still set back into the pale skin of his skull, were alive with passion and a cold, piercing stare that could transfix you even through the viewscreen.

“Hordak was an industrialist of some repute in the 2230s and 40s. He mainly dealt in the shipping of Duranium and Tritanium, as well as the construction and delivery of high-specs computer equipment to colonies and outposts as a contractor for Starfleet. In the 25 years before the Battle of the Binary Stars, he’d built himself a fleet of small courier ships to carry goods for himself. In 2254, he ran for and became Governor of Frightus, a Colony world at the heart of the Sector. He had also begun an expansion project into the Crimson Waste, where he believed that the subspace anomalies and tetrionic fields were hiding a treasure trove of material wealth. Starfleet was willing to invest a lot into his plans, but as we all know, the situation changed.”

“Unlucky Hordak,” Mermista commented, earning a glare from Glimmer. Catra ignored it.

“When the war began, Starfleet didn’t have the ships to cover the defence of the border, let alone the Eternia sector, which was already scattered enough to make it a headache for Starfleet Command. So Hordak here offered to pick up the slack. Politics and Business gave him a lot of friends in high places, so he had the links to pull strings and get enough ships to convince the Admiralty that he could handle it.” She glanced at Adora, who was staring at the picture of Hordak in contemplation, almost unaware of the presence of Catra, let alone the rest of the command staff.

“So, Starfleet just let a private Militia run this part of Space?” Bow sounded dubious. “Doesn’t exactly sound like the best of ideas.”

“I don’t know if you remember, Lieutenant, but we weren’t exactly winning the war at the time. Starfleet Command wanted every break they could get.” Catra moved the slides on, showing a labelled photograph of a Horde-Corporation Scout ship from 2257. It looked much like the rapier-like craft they had encountered, but it looked cleaner, shinier, with no bolted-on panels or stolen disrupter cannons. “These new frigates he turned up with were enough of a match for a Bird of Prey that the Klingons just left him alone after a while.” She pressed another button, and specs of the craft appeared beside it. “As you can see, they packed quite a punch.”

Scorpia whistled slowly. “Grade II disruptors, Multi-spectrum shielding, Mark VI Warp engines – these aren’t just your average private security ship. They could match a Burke-class frigate, maybe even a Saladin at a push.”

Catra nodded in agreement. “Starfleet always wondered how exactly he’d got his courier craft to such advanced levels, but frankly with the conflict going as badly as it was, there was little room to question it.”

“What about after the war?” Glimmer asked.

Catra sighed and glanced again at Adora, who was still staring at the viewscreen. Her posture, however, was stiffer. “By the time the Armistice was declared, Starfleet had been out of contact with the Eternia sector for over four months. When the dust settled, Starfleet sent an expedition to Etheria system. Flying the flag, that sort of thing. The first ship was ordered not to enter the sector, which was now ‘Horde Space’. When it did, it was destroyed. At the same time, reports came from across Eternia and other neighbouring sectors of attacks on convoys and civilian craft by vessels that refused to identify themselves before firing upon their targets and carving them up for parts, whether they be hull plating, engines or defence systems. Eventually, a larger expedition was formed up the command of Commodore Mara Gray to investigate properly and deal with the threat to Federation shipping.” Adora’s breathed at the mention of the name, but Catra pushed on.

“Every Federation outpost they found on their approach route to Frightus was abandoned, every ship floating lifeless in space, it's husk stripped of useful parts and equipment. But the state of Frightus itself showed the scale of whatever Hordak was organising.” The next slide showed a comparison of the same planet; in the first photograph a shot of a small town nestled between mountains in a river valley, with luscious forests and verdant plains all the way to the horizon. The other photo showed the same mountains torn up by open cast mines; the river a sickly green; the woods ripped up and the sky blackened by smoke from foundries as far as the eye could see. “Hordak had converted the second planet in the system into- well into that. He had converted the colony from a regional outpost into the industrial heart of an empire, using every resource available to build more and more ships.”

Seahawk looked aghast. “How? Surely the inhabitants wouldn’t agree to this?”

“They didn’t have much choice,” Catra replied, feeling the sickness in her stomach before she’d even switched to the next slide.

“By the time Starfleet turned up again, Hordak had moved a little beyond Local industrialist turned governor. He was now calling himself “Horde Prime”, the supreme saviour and deity to his chosen people in their time of need, demanding total obedience to his will. His most loyal followers took an extra step to show their loyalty to his light.” Catra didn’t need to look at the slide to be reminded of what it was.

“Ah, I was wondering when the other shoe would drop,” Mermista drawled, staring at the small, silver device that was on the viewscreen, which Catra had last seen on the necks of the two people they’d saved from Erelandia. “So, like, what exactly are those two things I’ve got in a locked case in sickbay?”

“These are control chips. They were originally an Orion design, for use in slave control, “ Catra began. “We think they were originally purchased for use with the penal colony on Corvus II, which Hordak took over administration of in 2256. We think that they were used originally by his security forces to maintain order during the war, but then things escalated.”

“At their core, they should just be elaborate shock bolts with a long range,” Entrapta piped up, adding to Catra’s point. “but Hordak did something…different. Something that I’ve never quite seen before. Something, frankly, he should have had no idea how to do at all!”

“What do you mean?” Bow sounded nervous.

Catra moved to the next slide. “Hordak had gained access to a supercomputer of some kind. No one knows where it came from or where it really was, but when he rigged the chips up to it the computer took over your body; subsumed its’ will, which was also the will of Horde Prime.” Photographs of various civilians and Horde personnel with green glowing eyes and the chips on their necks were enough to make clear the horror what had happened. “The Horde programme seemed to have leaked into much of the equipment that Hordak had installed across the sector, subsuming hundreds of personnel to the hive mind without anyone else being aware.”

“That’s how Lt. Spinner got chipped,” Glimmer surmised, a frown across her face. “She wasn’t even near Frightus, was she?”

Catra nodded, then took a deep breath. “It was believed by many, including Commodore Gray, that Hordak intended to the use the chips to take over as much of the weakened Federation as he could, using its citizens to his supreme will to help him conquer the Galaxy.”

“My God,” Glimmer breathed.

“The task force attempted to rescue as many survivors as possible from the planet, and shut down the programme, but was unable to overcome the Horde forces. Two of the four Starships were lost before Commodore Gray was forced to use General Order 24 on Frightus, to prevent the further spread of the Horde to other Federation Worlds.” There was a moment of silence in the briefing room as the command staff took in the weight of the action. The complete decimation of a world – any world – was something that no Starfleet officer liked to contemplate, but if any situation made it seem necessary it was this one.

“The construction facilities on Frightus were destroyed entirely, and the planet was left lifeless. Unfortunately, Commodore Gray was killed in action when the _Indefatigable_ was destroyed.” Adora was looking away from them all now, even though the whole room was pointedly staring at Catra and the presentation.

“What happened to Hordak?” Bow asked.

“We don’t know. The general opinion was that he was on Frightus when the _Indefatigable_ and _Gorch_ opened fire on the planet, but the recent…discovery on Erelandia casts doubts on that.”

“Isn’t Erelandia the other size of the Crimson Waste from Frightus?” Seahawk leaned forward, Catra hiding her surprise at the madman asking her a sensible question. “It seems to me that if he were to escape to this side of the Sector, he’d have a long and dangerous journey.”

Catra nodded in agreement. “As I stated before, before the war, Hordak had begun a series of major expeditions into the Crimson Waste in search of new resources to mine. Based on several different pieces of evidence, both from the reports left by Hordak and Lt. Entrapta’s triangulation of the signals from Erelandia and-“

“And from you!” the engineer added, oblivious to how uncomfortable that made Catra. “The chip in your neck helped a lot!” Everyone looked to Entrapta, then back at Catra, who tried not to turn too red with embarrassment and frustration.

“And, yes, the long-dormant chip that I have had in my neck this whole time, we can surmise that not only did Hordak have outposts and bases within the Crimson waste, but that at the present time, Horde signals themselves are currently active.” She leaned forward on the table, a grim look on her face. “The possibility of the Horde returning to its aggressive activities is a serious one for Starfleet, not only due to the obvious risk to the Federation’s security. With the current relations with the Klingons, the possibility of a rogue power in this sector massively ups the possibility of a dangerous confrontation with the Empire.”

Adora stood up suddenly to stand beside Catra. “Starfleet Command's orders are to discover as much as possible about the current state of the Horde, before providing support to a task force that will be dispatched to this sector as soon as possible.” She looked stoically at her officers, completely ignorant of Catra next to her as if she didn’t exist. “It is vital that we gather as much intelligence as possible on their current status and capabilities.” They all nodded at her, taking in the ramifications of it all.

“This doesn’t feel like the end of the briefing,” Glimmer said after a few seconds of silence, staring straight past the Captain at the Caitian. “More importantly, it doesn’t explain why we’re making a detour to Mystacor instead of warping straight into the Crimson Waste.”

Catra felt the panic in her build for a second but steeled it down. “There’s a lot we still need to know about the Horde, and it’s dealings in the Crimson waste before we can even start there. The Waste is big, and with the Subspace anomalies and other interference, our ability to use sensors and communicate across long distances would be severely limited. However, there are other avenues of information gathering we can go down before beginning our hunt.”

“Such as?” Glimmer crooked an eyebrow.

“It was clear at the time that Hordak had received assistance from external sources. A lot of it. Much of his equipment was Starfleet issue, and what wasn’t had been procured through Federation governmental channels. Someone outside of Eternia had been helping him get away with his project for a very long time, right up until the destruction of Frightus.”

“So who was helping him?”

Catra steeled herself for a second. “Sharon Weaver.” She sighed, waiting for what would inevitably come next.

“Your mother!” Glimmer exploded. “Your goddamn mother! You fucking traitor, I knew it!”

Adora stirred into life suddenly. “ _Lieutenant.”_ Glimmer stared at the Captain in fury but shut her mouth. Adora turned back to Catra. “Continue, please.”

“Yes. Former _Governor_ Weaver, the senior administrator for the regional sector government, was supplying equipment to Hordak from the beginning. She’d already helped him secure government contracts before the war and was most of the reason Starfleet had let him set up his Militia in the first place. She also had…other reasons to act against the Federation, and this seemed to her to be another opportunity to do so.” Said reasons had not been in the declassified files – probably because they were still too sensitive for general discussion – but Catra knew what they said, and she had to suppress a growl as she thought about that woman, and the mind-sifter that had lived in their basement all those years she’d lived in that house.

Did Adora know? Catra doubted it. She hadn’t been in those close sessions thank god, as Catra’s breakdown had been made public spectacle (and Starfleet Record), while her mother figure deconstructed day after day, only to have it all fall apart in front of her as the bitch’s façade was exposed.

“So, if Starfleet knew she was in on it, why didn’t they do anything?” Glimmer snorted. “It doesn’t exactly seem to be Prime directive territory.”

“Weaver was-is smart,” Adora cut in. “There’s a reason they called her Shadow Weaver back in the day. She has people everywhere, and influence in offices she has no position to have influence in. Treason or not, she wasn’t going down without a fight.” Adora strolled around the desk to stand next to the computer console, tapping it to move it to the next slide. “Six years ago, the USS Mikasa was dispatched to conduct a full survey and investigation of the Crimson Waste. Her first survey was to be conducted on the planet Dryl, where a Federation Science outpost that had gone dark during the first days of the Horde Insurgency was inexplicably receiving and sending subspace radio messages despite there being no life forms present. On approach to the planet, the Mikasa encountered trouble with her warp engines, and when she was forced to stop for repairs, she was attacked by three unidentified craft.”

Catra knew where this was going. She had long tried to avoid having to face this with Adora, first by running all the way to Starbase Six, and then by simply pretending it hadn’t happened. She was absolutely not ready for this conversation behind closed doors, let alone in front of the senior staff, but the Captain had decided to force the issue right now, right here. Part of her was furious. Part of her wanted to run. But most of her just wanted to get on with it. Expose her failure to these people. End the facades of trust and friendship they all had with each other. Send her back to the pit of loneliness she knew, at heart she belonged. At the back of her head, the low droning commands of the chip in her neck were replaced by the sneered catcalls of Weaver telling her how much of a failure she was, and how her failures would always leave her alone, friendless, useless to society. She wanted to tell the bitch she was wrong, but how could she? In this case, Catra knew she was right. She had always been right.

Adora continued despite her First Officer’s visible discomfort. “The Mikasa fought off the attackers, but not without the cost of dozens of the dead and wounded, including her Captain. A later investigation of the defensive systems and warp drive found evidence of intentional damage to both systems.” Adora went to continue. “The sabotage to the Mikasa-” she hitched a breath, and Catra suddenly realised what was about to happen. “The sabotage was conducted by a known associate of Governor Weaver.”

“Who?” Scorpia asked. Catra looked to Adora, who was staring impassively at the back wall. There was no reassurance. No warmth. Only the distance of command, and cold, detachment that sent shivers down Catra’s spine.

“Who was it?” Glimmer pressed. Catra sighed, staring square at Glimmer. _What else is there to lose?_

“Me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the rather long delay in update: Finals, and travelling home, and the impending collapse of civil society will do that to ya, but there's still always time for She Ra!
> 
> Once again: leave a comment if you like it/ want more!


	11. Not Going Anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! Yay! 
> 
> There are four pieces of music described or alluded to in this chapter, in the following chronological order:
> 
> #1: Scarborough fair (Arr. Parkin), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQVqxzzEhG4&ab_channel=ShekuKannehMasonVEVO  
> #2: Boccherini: String Quintet in C, Op.30 No.6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsU0nb927NA&t=2s&ab_channel=Adama  
> #3: Shostakovich (Jazz Suite No.2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UIHl0oJEpg&ab_channel=BreckDonohue  
> #4 Mozart's Violin Concerto No. 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXYgocI4Pds&ab_channel=RobertHaydon

_Six Years Ago - USS Mikasa, near Federation Space_

_Catra stared at the component in her hands. She had been for about ten minutes – or however long she’d been back in the quarters she shared with Adora. It was a circular, bulky item, with wires coming off of it where it had been yanked away by. Its job, despite its humble looks, was vital - without it, there would be no power to the Phasers or Torpedoes of any kind, no matter how much energy was shunted there way. And here it was, in her room, left by whoever had -_

_Well, she supposed it had to be her. She didn’t exactly remember pulling the device out of the wall. Actually, that wasn’t true. She did remember doing it, some strange voice compelling her to do so, crawling into the Jefferies tube and climbing up to the power relays for the Phaser control circuit, yanking the flow regulator out with her bare hands, her claws ripping into the metal and wires. She didn’t know why she did it. She barely remembered doing it. But she knew she did it. Somehow. She remembered it. She remembered thinking – **knowing –** it was the right thing to do at the time. But now. She had absolutely no idea why she did it._

_The didn’t really matter now, did it? She’d done it. She’d removed the flow regulator, cutting power to the Phasers in such a way that she’d left the Mikasa defenceless when she had been ambushed, her shields inoperable, unable to fight back. What she’d done had crippled the ship, and killed over 55 people – the Captain included and injured dozens of others. The pit that formed in her stomach was about as deep as the one the Starfleet would throw her in when – if they found out about this._

_Catra took a deep breath, and stood shakily to her feet, taking a deep breath as she looked again at the object of her destruction. She glanced behind herself nervously, stuffed it back into her locker and slammed the door shut, then slumped onto her bed, her head in her hands. She had to tell someone. She hadn’t meant to do this. Someone-something had made her do this. Adora would believe her. She’d trust Catra, vouch for her. She could still fix this if-_

_Suddenly her communicator went off on her bed. She spun to look at it. Since when did she have a communicator? Since when were ships communications functioning? More importantly, who the hell would want to talk to her, of all people. She knew she should ignore it, but instead she reached for the device and flipped it open._

**_“Is it done?”_ ** _A voice asked, recognisable but still unknown in the haze that suddenly clouded Catra’s mind, making her barely aware of her surroundings._

_“Yes,” she replied without realising. “The ship has turned back.”_

**_“Well done my child,”_ ** _the voice spoke. **“Does anyone suspect foul play?”**_

_“Not that I know of.” What? Catra hadn’t wanted to say that either. What the hell was going on? She would have said that if the words had not died in her throat without even a struggle._

**_“Good. Has the evidence been destroyed?”_ **

_“I have been unable to yet,” Catra replied even as she willed herself to yell accusations down the communicator, willing any, ANY, kind of response beyond her current compliance. Her arms her rigid, her breathing stilled, automatic even as her mind raced, trapped in – whatever it was trapped in, exactly._

**_“Report back when you have completed that task. No one must know that you are the saboteur. If they find out, eliminate them.”_ ** _The Communicator snapped shut, and the haze lifted, and suddenly Catra was back in control of her own body. She stared at the communicator for a second, before throwing it across the room where it shattered against a wall. Her hand shook as she pulled it back and planted it on the bed. Even now as she tried to remember the conversation, it receded away into haze and confusion. It hurt to remember it. It didn’t even seem important. It wasn’t important. What was important was getting rid of the damn regulator._

Options, Catra _, she told herself._ Think about options. We can still fix this! _The waste disposal in her shared quarters was an immediate no-go. For a start, the regulator would never fit in there, unless she took it apart and shoved it in, piece by piece. No, she’d have to try something else. There weren’t many other ways to dispose of equipment on the ship, except –_

_She sat up suddenly as the idea came to her. If she could get her hands on a Phaser, she could vaporise the regulator. It wouldn’t be too difficult to short out the sensors in their quarters, or just find another part of the ship where the internal sensors just weren’t working at all. Hell, if she chose the right time, it wouldn’t even be that hard getting her hands on a Phaser. Her hand twitched as she thought about it. It was doable. Very doable. She’d just need to not be spotted. Maybe if Adora-_

No, _she told herself, gripping the edge of the bedframe tightly as she stared across the room at her best friend’s side of their shared quarters, adorned with trophies and photographs of the two of them that made Catra’s stomach do flips every time she looked at them._ She doesn’t need to get involved. This is my problem; I can fix this myself. I don’t need her getting involved. I can handle this myself. I can protect her from this. From me. I can manage.

_As she went to stand up, the door slid open to reveal Adora, who gave Catra a weary smile before walking in their quarters. “There you are Catra! I was wondering where you got to,” she said, sitting on her bed and unzipping her red uniform jacket. “I thought you’d be in the rec room or something.”_

_“Why would I be in there?” Catra hissed suddenly, ignoring the startled look on her roommate’s face._

_“Well, it’s the only place where the food synthesisers are working right now,” Adora replied tentatively, “and the last time I saw you, you did say you were hungry, so..” she made a ‘figure it out’ gestured, which Catra replied to with a roll of her eyes._

_“I wasn’t feeling well,” Catra replied, not meeting Adora’s eyes, but she knew that her friend was giving her a sympathetic look. She hated it._

_“I can go if you want, get you some-“_

_“I’m fine!” Catra snapped. There was nothing for Adora to be sympathetic about. The shame boiled up in her as she suppressed the urge to just tell Adora everything. She couldn’t know. No one could know. “Stop worrying about me!”_

_“I-“Adora caught herself and took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m just trying to look out for you Catra. I know you don’t like help, but-“ her expression softened despite the glare Catra knew was on her face. “You haven’t been all yourself since the battle.”_

_“Oh really,” she scoffed. “What makes you say that?”_

_“Well,” Adora began. “I don’t know. You just seem…not right.”_

_“Oh, and you’re the expert here, huh? Forgive me, but I don’t feel like being patronised tonight.”_

_“Catra! I’m trying to help you!” she reached out for Catra’s right hand, but she stepped away from it, growling._

_“I don’t need your help!” she barked. “I can do this all by myself! Like I always have! So leave me alone!” Adora had shrunk back onto her bed from the yelling, but her eyes still held a look of concern. “I don’t need you babying me or leading me around! I’m not the little kid who followed you around school all now!”_

_Catra didn’t know she could be this angry, this bitter, that she could spit this vile out at her best friend – her only friend. But part of her knew she’d always thought this, that she’d always known that it was all fake. She didn’t care about Catra. No one ever cared about Catra. “Now, just- leave me alone, ok?”_

_Adora wavered one more time before admitting defeat._ _“Okay.” She murmured. Catra could see there was still some fight in her, eyes, but knew that she’d get left alone now. She turned away and strode out of their quarters._ A Phaser, _she told herself_. If I can find a phaser a vaporise that damned part then this will all be ok. I can fix this myself.

***

Catra’s bow glided effortlessly across the strings with as much as it had when she had played the first notes over an hour and a half ago, the notes ringing out of the deep bass of the Cello with certainty and clarity as her fingers danced up and down the neck of the instrument like clockwork, her body moving steadily to the tempo of the music as it rose and fell. It wasn’t a complicated piece – no Bach, or Schubert, or anything that really required much thought – just a piece of old earth folk music she had learnt when she had first started playing back in her brief time in prison.

It had been Angella’s idea to start with – her legal counsel had suggested it as a way to pass the long, uneventful hours alone behind the forcefield. She’d scoffed at it originally, scornful of this older woman telling _her_ that this Cello would bring her more enjoyment than a Guitar, or just sitting alone staring at the ceiling wallowing in her own fate. Eventually, she got tired of the damn thing mocking her from across the cell and picked it up, and a few swearing practice sessions and a nights’ sleep lost to a long series of tutorials on the library computer and suddenly the hours were lost to a whole area of music that she’d never have imagined herself ever going near before. Then again, she’d never really imagined being in a Starfleet brig before, so if there was ever a time to do new things, that had been it.

She’d been surprised at herself for keeping the practice up when she’d gone to Starbase Six, and that she’d only manage to get better at it as time went on. Catra didn’t like to admit how good she was – sure, she’d performed with the Starbase Orchestra, and the Jazz Band (that was on the Double Bass though, that’s different), but she’d never call herself a musician. She was an amateur, always playing second fiddle (well, second cello) to someone greater than her. She wasn’t happy about it, but she knew that’s what she would always be. That was ok.

What mattered to her about playing the cello was that it meant she was in control. She may be following the music, but she got to decide how fast she played it, in what tempo, how loudly or how softly the notes were plays, how the bow was manipulated to produce different rhythms. She could through in a vibrato here, or an extra note there and make the music all her own, with her own influences and meanings. She was in control here, running her fingers along the black woodwork as the bow rushed across the strings, in the dimly lit quarantine room at 1:30 in the morning. It had become somewhat a habit since she’d figured out that sleeping just left her at the mercy of Horde Prime and voices in her head.

Music had sort of been Mermista’s idea – she’d postulated that playing music while she slept might prevent her from hearing the voices in the first place – a rather crude form of ‘signal-jamming’. What had proved more effective than blasting Andorian synth music into her skull had been the act of creating music itself. Apparently, the focus required was enough to cancel out the signals from the chip. Entrapta had babbled some science at her instead of saying that, obviously, but it seemed to be the gist of it really. So, she’d had her Cello delivered from her Quarters to her quarantine room (which, at this rate, would have more or her possessions than her quarters), and, when the suppressants and sedatives weren’t enough to make the voices go away, she’d pick it up and play until her eyelids were heavy and the voices didn’t have enough time to catch her before she fell into slumber.

Part of her was darkly amused by wondering what Weaver would think of her musical talent now. The bitch had spent years trying to tear Catra away from the guitar, berating her, hiding it from her, smashing them up if she found Catra with them no matter the circumstances, locking her in to keep her from band practice, decrying the instrument as the ‘tool of the charlatan and the fool without skill’. She’d probably still find a way to stamp on Catra’s success, calling her a failure for only picking the cello up at such an old age, or dismissing her music as “too simple” or “childlike”. She shuddered at the thought, almost seeing the women in the corner of her eye sneering down at her.

Catra had been thinking a lot about Weaver recently. It had started in passive thoughts, the odd reminder of the childhood lost to torment and dejection, but then it had seeped into her dreams, her isolation from the crew – from her comrades, and from Adora (who had been noticeably absent from all her medical checkups since her briefing). Her isolation from Adora had been a most noticeable reminder of her teenage years, when she would spend days locked away while Adora would continue with her life, unaware of her friend's plight. Catra would wave it off as ‘sick days’ or ‘family’ events (not as if she had any real family), and Adora would believe her in her carefree way, and Catra wouldn’t mind because she got to see her carefree smile framed in golden, windswept hair and all her worries would fade away.

Catra _had_ wanted to tell her – always wanted to tell her, to run over to her and Mara’s house, and spell everything out, but something always kept from doing it, a force pulling her back from the porch, forcing the words back down, telling her not to show weakness, making her snap at Adora if and when she showed any concern for her. She hated it, but she couldn’t help it. At a point, it just became normal to hide from her feelings, to push others away. It was safe. Comfortable. She didn’t like it, and it had taken her a long time (six years, in fact) to unlearn it, but here she was, hiding from her friends when she needed help the most.

Well, hiding implied it was her choice in the matter. She wasn’t exactly allowed to seek them out, but then again, they weren’t exactly coming to her. Sure, she saw Mermista every day, but putting a shot in your arm and saying, “don’t throttle anyone today, got it?” hardly counted as a heartfelt conversation. Glimmer nearly had to be restrained from smacking her around, the last time she saw her. Scorpia and Perfuma had hugged her before she’d gone back into isolation, but then they’d been busy with work (imagine having _work_ ) and hadn’t stopped by. Adora? Well, Catra had seen her through a lattice screen in sickbay after one of her check-ups, but the Captain had disappeared into Mermista’s office without a word. She was hiding from her, really. That was the only conclusion.

_Of course, she’s hiding from you. You’re a failure. A Coward. You can’t even defeat a guileless computer device in your own body! She sees **nothing** in you! None of them do!_

The door chime buzzed, and as Catra blinked herself back into reality she was aware that it wasn’t the first time it had sounded. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for a repeat of the last conversation with someone that had happened at 1 in the morning. She thought about calling the door from here, but instead, she leant over to the console and tapped the manual lock, the door sliding open effortlessly. No one stepped in immediately, which suggested that it wasn’t Glimmer, thank god.

“Well?” she asked, irritably. “What do you want?”

Catra didn’t expect Bow to put his head through the door. “Can I come in?” he asked, watching her nervously. She blinked at him.

“Sure.” He nodded at trotted him. He was still in his uniform boots and trousers, but he’d swapped his uniform tunic out for a red Starfleet undershirt that he’d cropped at some point so that his abs were open to the air. He had a violin and Bow tucked under his right arm as she stood across the room watching her awkwardly.

“…is that a crop top?” She offered, which was apparently the only available comment.

He grinned. “Yeah!"

"...is that allowed?"

The Comms officer shrugged. "Last I checked it was.I can make you one if you want!”

“I-I’m fine,” she replied, biting down a snarky comment, still watching him for any explanation for his presence.

“I heard you playing as I came off duty,” he supplied. “The vents on this deck have good acoustics.”

“Oh.” She said, slumping slightly. “I- I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“Relax, there’s nothing but stores either side of you.”

“Oh. Then why are you here?”

“I wondered if you wanted some company?” he looked a little sheepish, offering the violin up as some form of explanation for his intrusion. _Oh. That made more sense than a noise complaint_.

Part of Catra wanted to get him to get out, to laugh in the face of his charity and push him away, or yell at him to leave her alone to wallow with her music. Maybe she’d have enjoyed the seconds of elation she’d have at the small power she’d wielded to reject him out of hand, but she knew how short-lived that feeling was, and how much she’d regret it afterwards as she was left alone again. Instead, she took a deep breath and smile, gesturing to the only other chair the room. “Please,” she offered quietly. He nodded, smiling politely as he dragged the chair over to sit beside him and began fiddling with the knobs on his violin.

Catra watched him carefully as he adjusted the tone of his strings dutifully, watching him. He looked up suddenly. “All ready to go!”

Catra studied him for another second. “Why are you here?”

“I told you. To play some music,” he said, no irritation audible.

“No, _really_ ,” Catra pressed. “Why are you here.”

He gave her another amused look. “Now Catra, what will you do if I don’t tell you?”

“I’m _quarantined_ here,” she snorted.

He gave her a wry smile. “You’re not going anywhere then.” He suddenly started strumming a quick, pattering, jovial tune on his violin, the tune irritatingly upbeat, but also weirdly familiar. After a second staring at his smug grin, she picked her bow up again and began to play the cello side of the melody, bouncing the horsehair across the string as her fingers paced up and down the neck of the instrument in triplets. Her knee bounced in time with Bow's, and she couldn’t suppress a small smile of satisfaction when she finished her section and swung the Cello up onto her knee and began to strum with him, suppressing a cackle at the brief shock that wiped across Bow’s face as she met his eyes, somewhat challenging him with the intensity of her stare.

Instead of flinching, he merely grinned back before putting the violin to his shoulder and beginning his part. Bow played with much more enthusiasm and movement than her, his whole body moving with the music, dipped forward with emphasis while he stared down the fingerboard, his eyes alight as much with enjoyment as concentration. Catra snorted as he slid a finger up the board dramatically (show-off) before breaking into the finale, cranking his bow aggressively across the strings as Catra picked up the pace or her strumming, unable to wipe the grin off her face as she ended the final note with a flourish.

He bowed several times to an imaginary audience before finally turning to her. “Had a hunch you might know that one.”

“Really?” She said, propped the Cello down on the floor for a second to stretch. “Ang-the woman who first encouraged me to play taught me it.” Bow watched her for a second, and despite the knowledge that he’d never press it, she felt herself stiffen slightly at the prospect of having to explain it all.

“Glimmer likes it when I play it,” he offered as he fiddled with his bow for a second. “It’s nice. Aggressive, but jovial.”

“Can’t imagine you being aggressive,” Catra snarked.

He gave her a dark look. “You should see me playing Shostakovich.” She couldn’t help but chuckle at that, and the mock threatening look on his face disappeared behind a hearty laugh.

“Why don’t we?” Catra said, forgetting her queries for a moment, caught up in the joy of the music. She smirked at him as began to play, his own smile matching hers as the leapt into the melody of a new song.

***

_The Phaser was tucked into Catra’s left pocket. It jolted painfully against her hip, but she still had to stop herself from touching it as she walked down the corridor just to check it was still there. It was the small type 1 – compact, but still powerful enough to vaporise the whole regulator with no chance of overheating. It hadn’t been difficult to steal it – the armour had been shot up badly in the battle, and she’d just walked in and took it like she owned the place. No one had batted an eyelid._

_No one cared. They were all exhausted, physically and mentally, drained from the fighting and the escape and constant repairs that were needed to keep them spaceworthy as they limped back to the nearest Starbase. There hadn’t even been anyone on watch in the weapons room. But Catra’s skin still crawled whenever anyone passed her in the dim corridors, averting her eyes whenever someone appeared in the still flickering hallway lights. No one noticed her – why would they? They all had things to do, duties to attend to, fires to put out. So did she. This was just another fire. Nothing to worry about. She just had to get rid of the evidence, and everything would be fine. No one would have to know._

_She turned the corner into the hallway outside her quarters as her heart rate began to rise uncontrollably. What if Adora found out? What if she had already gone to get help? What would she do?_

**What needs to be done** _**,** the voice told her, and she found herself agreeing with it. Adora would understand. She would help – she’d be there for us. She said she would be. And if she’s not?_

_Well, that’d never happen, would it?_

_Catra took a deep breath, then stepped into her quarters, steeling herself for a conversation with Adora. “Hey-“ she stopped, noticing her open locker door, and the body standing in front of it, holding something._

_“…Adora?” she asked, running a hand over her the phaser in her pocket before unconsciously unzipping it._

_Adora took a deep breath, her shoulders hunching as she tried to calm herself – it was an old coping method she’d long tried and failed to teach Catra. The memory of her trying time and again to teach suddenly grated the Caitian, whose tailed flicked erratically behind her. “Why are you looking through my locker, Adora?”_

_“..Catra?” she asked, her voice sharp and high, as it always was when she was scared. It made Catra’s blood boil even more. Adora turned slowly to reveal she was holding the flow regulator. “Wha-what is this?”_

_“None of your business.” Her hand went over the Phaser again, trying to remember what setting it was on, whether she’d switched it from Stun to Vaporise. Her eyes flicked to the Emergency case on the far wall and back to Adora, who was still cradling the regulator like a small child. “Why were you in my locker, anyway?”_

_“I- you left it open, and this was sticking out, and-“_

_“You thought you’d stick your nose in my business,” Catra hissed. “Couldn’t let me deal with my problems on my own? You just had to leap to the rescue?”_

_“I-“ Adora looked shocked and heartbroken, and terrified, but all Catra felt was fear, and agitation, and fury. This wasn’t how it was meant to go. “What did you do, Catra?”_

**Remove her** , _the voice told Catra._ **Remove her and proceed, little sister** _. Her hand ran across the phaser in her pocket again, but she held back from drawing it yet. “It doesn’t matter,” she shot back. “Just- just let me deal with this.”_

_“Deal with this?” Adora cried. “How? We- “she started forward. “We need to go to Commander Carrero, or Security Chief Renyolds, or-“_

_“And what? Hand me over?”_

_“I- I don’t know!” Adora looked desperate. “May- maybe you can explain to them that you didn’t know how it got here, or tell -tell them how you found it, and-“_

_“Oh, like that’ll work.” Catra’s hand slipped into the pocket, holding the phaser tightly. “You think they’ll believe me? That I just_ found _this? That the key piece of evidence in the manhunt for a saboteur aboard ship just_ turned up _in_ my _locker? Come on, Adora!”_

_The Blonde wouldn’t give up, taking another small step towards Catra. “But- maybe we can help find the real Sabetour? The one who put it in your locker? We could find whoever’s framing you and-“_

_“Framing me?” Catra let out a heartless laugh. “You are such an idiot, Adora.”_

_“C’mon Catra!” Adora pleaded. “Let’s go! We-we can’t wait here! If we just-“ Adora went for her hand to pull her out of the room, but Catra flinched back, her right hand leaping out her pocket. Adora flinched as the phaser was pointed straight at her, the aim steady in Catra’s palm._

_“We’re not going anywhere, Adora,” Catra said shakily. “Understand?”_

_“Catra?”_

_“Shut up!” the hand holding the Phaser was less steady now._ **Remove her! Purge her!**

I can’t! _She told the voice, wincing at an ineffable pain in her neck._ She’s too important- She means to much to me! I- I can’t! **Clear the path for Prime’s light!** _Catra held firm against the growing chorus of demands in her head. “P-put the Regulator on the floor, Adora.”_

_Adora looked down at the Phaser, and back at her. “What?”_

_“Do it, damn it!” Adora looked at her, then back to the Phaser, then at the regulator. “Dammit_ Adora, _don’t play games with me.”_

_“Please Catra, you don’t have to do this.”_

_“I’m sorry, Adora, I really am, but it’s the only way! Now- Now put it down, or I’ll- I’ll vaporise the both of you!” Adora’s breath hitched at that, but the Phaser remained tightly in Catra’s hand, pointed straight at Adora’s chest. She didn’t want to do it. But she had to, right? There wasn’t another choice. None at all._

_“F-Fine,” Adora replied, eventually._

_“Thank you,” Catra growled. Adora slowly released the regulator from the cradle she carried it, eyes always on the Phaser. Maybe they could talk it out – maybe she’d listen – maybe-_

_There was a clatter as Adora dropped threw the regulator at Catra, who dived to her left to avoid the massive hunk of metal and circuits slamming into her body. Adora’s body strained as she desperately grasped at the handle on the emergency case. The cover had already slipped off, revealing the medkit and Phaser within. Her hand scrabbled desperately for the Phaser, fingers brushing against it. Catra had levelled hers the instant she had sat back up._ **Remove her!** _She hadn’t even checked the setting – it could vaporise her, or blow out the whole bulkhead, or kill them both._ **Remove the betrayer!** _Her thumb pressed the trigger._

_Catra’s world stopped as she watched the beam strike her friend – the only person she ever cared about, or ever will - square in the small of her back, waiting for the only friend she had in the world to light out a terrifying Red as the beam encompassed her before dissolving in the light. Instead, Adora groaned and slumped to the ground. No vaporisation. No boom. After a second staring at the body, she looked down at the Phaser. Setting 1 – minimal Stun. She let herself breathe again._

_Catra stood back up and looked to wear the regulator sat on the floor, dented from where it had landed in Adora’s desperate throw. She quickly flipped the Phaser to setting 8, her heart pumping loudly, her mind racing. What the hell was next? Where do you go from this? How would Adora ever trust her again? Ever be in a room with her? Ever get to know how Catra_ really _felt about her?_

**It does not matter, little sister. What must be done will be done.**

_She pointed the weapon at the regulator, then turning back to Adora’s crumpled body on the floor. What would she say to her?_

**Nothing. She betrayed us.** _Catra nodded, replying to the voice, for god knows what reason._ What must be done will be done, _she told herself, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from Adora’s sleeping face, or the haunted, terrified look in her eyes as Catra had threatened her. She was barely away of the main door opening before she whipped back round to see the stun shot hit her squarely in the chest, and then there was nothing but darkness._

***

Catra needed second to recover from that last movement – it was exhausting enough playing with music, let alone from memory. They were back in the comfortable silence, Bow tapping his bow ( _that would be a weird thing to say aloud_ , Catra thought) on the toe of his boot mindlessly.

Eventually, the courage came back to her, and she turned to look at him, as he looked up from his shoe. “Why are you here, Bow? Beyond the music, I mean.”

“I thought you’d like the company,” he offered earnestly.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not exactly popular regularly, let alone at a time like this.”

“Does that matter?”

“I mean, it’s not like anyone’s volunteering to play Parrises squares with me right now.”

“So?” Bow countered, plucking a random tune on the strings idly.

“I’m sorry, were you in the briefing I gave?” Catra asked, biting back a bitter strain from her tone. “You know, the one where I admitted to committing an act of sabotage and then effecting a cover-up?” He nodded. “Well, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be so pally.”

“Good thing you’re not in my shoes then,” he shot back. “I care about my friends, Catra no matter what?”

“I’m-“she blinked for a second. “I’m you’re superior officer, not your friend.”

He snorted. “Why can’t you be both?”

Catra smiled at that, feeling some warmth at the glim possibility that she really wasn’t alone here, and in that instant, the voice of Weaver cut through, in the same, deep, back of the mind tone as Prime’s. _Foolish child, thinking you can succeed in this world? That these people will trust you? Like you? **Love** you? You are nothing to them but another tool to be used, just a useless shell without honour or respect._

“Catra?” She shook herself to see Bow kneeling in front of her, hands on each of her shoulders. She flinched at the touch, and thankfully he did hold on, allowing her to come back to reality on her own terms. “Are you ok?”

“I…I think so.” She said uncertainly.

“Was that an episode? With the chip? Should I get the doctor or-“

“No-“she said, waving a hand away. “I’m fine-“

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yes.” She decided, not wanting to think about how _different_ that episode had been, how direct it was, how pointedly bitter, vicious and deconstructing it had been. _I’m just distracted,_ she told herself. _Stop overanalysing, Catra. Focus on something else_. “How is everyone else? I mean, how is everyone faring?” Bow looked surprised at the question. “Listen, I’m still technically the first officer. I want to know how – how my people are faring?”

Bow leaned back and took a small breath. “Honestly?”

“No, Crop-top, I want you to lie to me to make me feel better.”

Bow let out an unnecessarily hearty chuckle at that before his expression sobered into something far more thoughtful. “They’re…concerned.”

“Scared?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but-“he took another moment to think. “I think that they’re worried for you.”

Catra gave him a dubious look. “Why the hell would they be worried about me?”

Bow shrugged. “They like you.”

“I made a hobby of pushing them to limit, Bow.”

“That doesn’t mean they hate you,” he countered. “You pushed them to the limit because you knew they could take it.” _And to impress Adora_ , a different niggling voice told her. “And frankly, we needed it.”

“You’re telling me,” Catra muttered. “But I doubt they’re out there working day and night to figure out what’s wrong with me.”

“Some of them are,” Bow countered. “When do you think the last time Entrapta slept was?”

“Enlighten me.”

“No one knows. She’s been in her engineering lab almost constantly. Scorpia has to make her eat.” He chuckled at the anecdote.

“Well I’m inspired by their confidence in me, but I doubt it’s shared by a lot of others.” Bow didn’t flinch at the dismissal.

“There’s a reason Glimmer and Lonnie are still trying to implement your changes to Fire Control systems you know.” Catra couldn’t hide the surprise at that. “You didn’t know?”

“I mean, Glimmer asked me about it, but I didn’t think she was being serious. She hasn’t exactly been quiet about how much she doesn’t like me.”

“Glimmer…” Bow sighed. “She says she has her reasons. I don’t know what they are, but they’re there.” He shrugged. “Whatever they are, it’s not enough for her not to respect you and what you do.”

“Really.”

“Listen Catra,” he pushed on. “I know it’s hard to accept when you’ve been denied it before, but we are all here for you right now. Sure, we might be concerned, or apprehensive, but we’re more worried about you than ourselves. We care Catra, I promise. All of us. We’re family here, whether you like it or not.”

The snarky put-down, the self-hating remark that always stood ready for deployment at the tip of Catra’s tongue was missing this time, as she looked into Bow’s eyes and saw only his honestly. She watched for any deviation for a second and found none. “I – thank you,” she decided on saying.

He smiled and pulled her in for a half-hug, which Catra (much to her shock) found herself enjoying. After a second, he pulled away, leaving her sitting there sheepishly. “How’s Ad-the Captain?” Unexpectedly, Bow looked a little morose. “I- I’m sorry I asked, but I’ve barely seen her at all since the briefing, and that was days ago, and-“ she sighed. “I don’t know, I’m worried about her.”

“So am I,” Bow agreed, “but I’ve seen about as much of her as you have. Oh, I’ve _seen_ her – she’s been on the bridge, and in briefings but that’s been Captain Gray. In command. Authoritative. By the book. Adora? Who makes giddy noises when she feels the ship jump a warp factor? Who makes bad jokes with Seahawk on the Bridge? Who giggles when Glimmer makes a frustrated noise over some scientific anomaly? I haven't seen here for over a week."

"She hides in her room. She doesn’t talk to anyone about anything but work. She shrinks from social invitations of any kind. She barely speaks in staff meetings, and when she does she’s bitter and scathing and-“ he sighed. “Something has broken her. _Is_ braking her.”

“Me,” Catra muttered. "I'm braking her."

“I wouldn’t be so harsh-“

“You don’t _understand_ Bow,” Catra hissed, angry at herself more than him. “You can’t. You weren’t there- you don’t know what _I_ did the last time – the last time something like this happened. I did a lot of damage, Bow. I don’t know whether she could survive if I did it again.”

“But you won’t this time,” he replied.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because you’re not alone this time. You’ve got all of us. And we've got your back.” He picked his bow back up and played a few test notes, not offering Catra the chance to argue. “Now, what shall we play?”

 _FIne,_ she decided.“How about some Mozart?”

He nodded, sitting back in the chair, and picking the instrument back up. “Concerto number 3?”

She nodded, taking a moment to gather herself and bring the music back to her mind and shove the intrusive, terrifying messages from beyond away, and then she was away with the music, the melodies floating out from the duo across the room, emanating through the bulkheads and carrying themselves across the ship, to where a Blonde woman in a Gold shirt with gold braids on her sleeves lay wide awake in her bed, unable to stop thinking about pained, terrified blue and gold eyes begging her for help while a phaser pointed straight at her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the second angst/filler chapter, but I have to get some plot points through before we get to Mystacor. Hope you enjoyed it though, and yes, I did get Catra and Bow to do the duet from the end of Master and Commander. Sue me.
> 
> I went back through and added a few extra notes for explanation, which I've copied below.
> 
> Just for your Reference: The USS Alliance is a Pioneer Class Light Cruiser, as features in Star Trek Online, and looks like so: https://memory-beta.fandom.com/wiki/Pioneer_class
> 
> Senior Staff, USS Alliance (From Stardate 4515.3)  
> Captain: Adora Gray  
> First Officer: Lieutenant Commander Catra Weaver  
> Science Officer: Lieutenant Glimmer Brightmoon  
> Chief Engineer: Lieutenant Commander Entrapta  
> CMO: Dr. Helena Mermista  
> Security Chief: Lieutenant Scorpia D'Ream  
> Operations/Communications: Lieutenant Bow Sherwood  
> Helm: Lieutenant Samuel H Hawk  
> Navigation: Lieutenant Lonnie LaForge  
> Relief Navigation/Chief Botanist: Lieutenant Perfuma Flowers
> 
> As always, leave a comment/complaint/suggestion below!


	12. Mystacor, Part 1

“Shuttle _Dragons’ Daughter III_ to Mystacor control, requesting clearance to pass through planetary shield perimeter.” Seahawk sounded deceptively professional as he spoke through the shuttles’ comm system. “Security code 1985-ADVENTURE!” He glanced at Adora for a second. “Is that the right code?”

“Seahawk, you decided on the code.”

“…and what if I forgot what I decided?” The captain groaned.

“If it’s wrong,” she replied tersely. “that security satellite over _there_ will blow us into tiny pieces in about ten seconds.”

“Oh.” He nodded. “Really?”

“Yes,” Glimmer supplied, with gritted teeth. There were about eight seconds of silence as the _Dragon’s Daughter III_ hurtled through space before-

“ ** _Shuttle Dragons’ Daughter III, this is Mystacor Control, you are cleared to pass through the Lunarium and land at Pad 14-AC._** _"_

“Oh thank god,” Glimmer muttered.

“Understood. Dragons’ Daughter Out!” Seahawk replied a _little_ too enthusiastically before dropping the nose of the shuttle down and taking the craft out of low orbit and towards the pink-hued shield that lay at the edge of the planet’s atmosphere, where a small space station marked of the few openings in the planetwide shield. “No Dragon’s Daughter IV this week then!” he joked, turning round to smile at the rest of the shuttle crew. None of Adora, Catra, Scorpia, Glimmer or the two security officers looked remotely amused.

“Please try to actually fly through the shield opening Seahawk,” Glimmer grumbled.

“Don’t worry, Glitter! I mean Glimmer! I mean sir!” he boomed back as they shot through the opening at slightly too fast a speed, the shuttle bucking a second before the helmsman levelled her out into for atmospherical travel.

“God, I hate shuttles,” the Science officer muttered.

“Then why are you even here?” Catra sniped.

“The CO at the Starfleet Outpost wants to run-over some strange readings they have on their sensors. Me and Mr de Garnet are going to have a look.” She gave Catra a smug smile. “We’re here to do our jobs, unlike _some_ people.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that the Mysatcorans insisted on having her serve her sentence here,” Catra shot back. “At least under that shield, she can’t come out and bother the rest of us. We have to come to her.”

“It’s one hell of a thing, isn’t it,” Scorpia said, marvelling at the pulsing shield that extended across the sky as far as the eye could see. “How did they build it? How do they power it?”

“No one knows,” Glimmer replied. “The Mystacorans have always had it. They don’t know how it works really, beyond the limited control they have over it to open and close entrances and exits. The technology is ancient – probably as old as the planet itself.”

“Apparently,” Adora replied, looking down at her Padd, “it can even be used to hide the planet entirely.”

“Wow,” Scorpia breathed in wonder. “Why would ya need to do something like that?

“I dunno, maybe to protect it from evil people?” Glimmer said, glaring at Catra. Catra thought about glaring back at her but settled for staring over Seahawk’s shoulder at the glimmering domes of Mystacara below them as they flew across the ancient city. “Seems like a good idea if you ask me.”

“I mean, I guess it did work for them.”

“Did it?” Glimmer was still staring straight at Catra. Adora looked up from her Padd at met Catra’s eyes, vacantly looking back before returning to her Padd. _No help from you then today, Princess_.

“The Mystacorans seem to be alright,” Catra offered noncommittally.

“I wonder how they’ll deal with seeing you here again,” the science officer snarled. “No chance or a ticker-tape parade?”

Catra snorted. “How’s your aunt Sparkles? Still trying to reason with rioters?” Glimmer growled back, but the possible threat of violence from the sparkly women was thankfully mitigated by Scorpia and Catra’s own armed escorted.

“Wha- what’s this about?” the Security chief asked. “You been here before, Wildcat?”

“Remember when I got reprimanded for stunning that ambassador?”

Scorpia blinked. “Yes? Now honestly, I don’t think you really deserved that. I mean from what you were saying about it all it seemed like she was being very obtuse and putting not just you but the safety of the entire landing part and all the Federation personnel at risk by trying to leave the compound like that and I completely understand why she was, y’know, not happy about it but-“she suddenly noticed that Glimmer glaring at her instead, her knuckles white as she gripped the seat in front of her. “-there’s something here I’m missing here.”

“The Ambassador I stunned was Castaspella.” Scorpia blinked.

“My aunt,” Glimmer hissed.

“Oh!” Catra gave Scorpia an amused look as the Security chief babbled and tried to walk her statement book. “I – I mean I only heard one side of the story and- and- I mean maybe there’s more to be said and-“

“Relax, Scorp,” Catra said. “I’m sure she’s over it now.” Glimmer glowered at her but decided not to take the bait. _Thank god_ , she thought. The shuttle was approaching the land pad now, and Seahawk hand thankfully decided to bring them down without any of his usual theatrics (having Adora sitting next to him up front was probably the reason for that). The hum of the engines increased slightly as he brought them to a gentled halt on the padd before he cut them completely.

Catra waited for everyone else to exit before clambering out – well, waited implied she had a choice and wasn’t being ferried around by two redshirts wearing Phasers on their hips. She blinked for a second as she stepped out onto the wide space of the landing bay at the Starfleet outpost on Mystacor, the spires of the city visible in the distance as the landing party walked leisurely across the wide expanse to the main area of the compound.

The last time she had been here, the trip from the Shuttle to the outpost had been a mad dash, dodging mortar shells and stray phaser fire from the city below. Thankfully, things had cooled down a little in the previous four years, but she still felt nervous as they walked a little too slowly towards the relative safety of the Outpost buildings. Ahead of her, Adora was already talking with the CO of the outposts, her hands tucked behind her back and fiddling with her Padd in the usual way she did when she was stressed but didn’t want anyone to know. Catra suppressed a smirk at the thought but pondered how in control the Captain was right now.

She’d been one of the least shocked about the revelation of Catra’s crimes – _probably because she already knew_ , she reminded herself. Most reactions had been a little more overt than hers but still shocked. Scorpia had just hugged her, for some reason, while Perfuma had just stared at her in confusion. Bow had been kind and considerate. Glimmer had been cold. None of them really understood. Not even Adora, really. Maybe it was better that way.

 _They must all be destroyed, they know too much, my child_ , the voice called out, pulling Catra’s mind into subspace. _They must be destroyed before they learn the truth. All of it, no matter what you want._

 _But, but they’re my comrades. My- my friends,_ she found herself telling the voice, only aware now she could talk back. Was she really talking back? Or were the new hypos Mermista had switched her to working better? Not well enough, if she was still hearing the voice.

_They are not your friends, my child, but enemies of Prime’s will. They must be cast out!_

“Commander Weaver?” Catra blinked and suddenly the haze lifted again. Everyone was staring at her curiously (Glimmer looked more bored than anything, but she was still staring).

“I’m fine!” she said, a little too quickly. “I’m fine.”

“…Right,” Adora said, unconvinced. “We need to head to the Security Compound now. Glimmer, Scorpia, call in when you’re finished with Commander Norwyn.”

“Aye sir,” they said, heading off with the Outpost commander while Adora led Catra and the other two Starfleet officers towards the small Starfleet skiff that would take them to the facility where Weaver was being held. The Captain was determined staring straight ahead, putting the security escort between her and Catra. Even so, Catra could see her having to force her head forward, and when they passed a window, in the reflection Catra caught Adora staring at her for a second. What was the look in her eyes? Concern? Anger? It looked closer to fear. Of what, or who, exactly, Catra didn’t need to ask.

***

“All weapons and communicators need to be deposited here.”

“Really?” Adora groaned.

“Sorry, sir. Mystacoran policy.” The Security chief shrugged. “They won’t allow us to use full-body scanners or any similar technology onsite, so you have to leave everything here.” He glanced at the two Redshirts as well. “They’ll have to wait outside as well I’m afraid, sir.”

Adora glared at her for a second, then unbuckled her Phaser holster and handed it over to one of the grounds personnel along with her communicator. The chief glanced at Catra, who shook her head. “Got nothing for you, chief.”

“Okay,” she said, watching her for another second before opening the doors into the building with a press of a button. “You can call here on any com panel using channel one, sir, but you'll have to come up here to talk to any outside channels.”

“Thank you,” Adora said through gritted teeth. “Commander?” she said, staring at – well, _through_ Catra. Catra nodded and followed her through the doors into the main area of the compound. For a prison, it was very air, with high glass ceilings and tumbling plants that cascaded artfully down the columns ever as redshirted Starfleet security officers stood watch at all the doorways.

“This is probably the nicest prison I’ve ever been in,” Catra said, more to herself. She knew Adora wouldn’t reply. She didn’t, even though Catra could see her mouth twitched as she stopped herself to snarking back. “That bitch doesn’t deserve anything this nice,” Catra added. That earned a smirk from the Captain. The duo passed through another checkpoint before they reached the wing with Weavers’ ‘Cell’, another security officer buzzing them through the security doors before they could enter.

They passed through the double doors into a small, claustrophobic corridor, with high walls that slanted into a small skyline that barely let any light in even on such a clear day. Catra didn’t like it. She didn’t like any of this. Her skin was beginning to crawl, her mind racing out of control. About ten metres from the door, she stopped suddenly, leaning on one wall for a second the catch her breath. The air felt heavy, and she looked up to see Adora standing over her.

“What?” she hissed, pushing herself to stand upright.

“Are you alright?” She asked, her tone more concerned than Catra expected.

“I’m fine,” she hissed, it’s just- “ Catra sighed. “I...I have a bad feeling about this place. It’s making me feel…weird.”

“Weird?”

“Yeah.” Catra didn’t really know what she was talking right now. Why would Adora care? She’d been ignoring her. She didn’t want to know how Catra felt anymore.

“Do you want to explain?” the Captain asked tentatively.

“I- I dunno. It’s just a feeling. Not a good one. And the last time I felt like this I-“ _I shot you in the back_ , she told herself, shrinking from Adora and looking aware from her, unaware of the pale hand that wavered inches above her shoulder before being withdrawn. “Something’s about to happen here and I don’t think it’s going to be good.”

“Ok.” Adora’s voice was firm. “Whatever happens, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my first officer, and – and my friend,” Adora said, almost forcing it out for some reason.

“No, I mean-“Catra sighed, blushing. “I know that, but why do you care? I’m just being a mess here, Adora. Overworked, nervous shot to hell, imagining things, having small panic attacks in corridors. I’m – I’m not exactly _trustworthy_.”

“Catra, I’ll always trust you.”

“Really?” The memories of the horrified look in Adora’s eyes when Catra had pulled a Phaser on her, the looks of fear and anger they’d exchange in the courtroom and the screaming match outside flooded into her mind. “You really trust me?” Adora didn’t say anything. “Because right now it’d be really weird to trust me. _I_ don’t trust me right now.”

“What do you mean, _you don’t trust yourself?_ ”

“Do you know what this does?” Catra asked desperately, pointing at the back of my neck, the Captain still looking strangely at her. “Because I don’t. All I know is that it whispers into my ear, demanding total control, trying to remove all independent and coherent thought from my head without halting and without giving me a break. It tries to make me leap up and throttle my crewmates. My friends. My- “she broke off for a second, wiping the water that had come to her eyes away with her wrists, before looking back up. “It controls me, Adora. And it’s destroying me. And I don’t think I can trust myself while it’s still _in me_.”

“I still trust you Catra.” Adora didn’t waver for a second as she said it. “I- I know it was hard to relearn that trust, but I have. You aren’t what that- that _thing_ makes you do."

“How would you know?” Catra spat. “You haven’t exactly been around to watch me tearing at door panels or scream my lungs out, have you?”

She broke away for a second and looked morosely at the wall to her right. “I’m… sorry, Catra. I…haven’t been very present lately. I’ve had a bit to deal with.”

“Fair,” Catra shrugged. “You’re the Captain, and I wasn’t making that job easier.”

“But that’s not _fair_ on you Catra. I may have had the pressures of command on me, but…I don’t think that’s an excuse.”

“I'm not exactly a top priority,” the Caitain murmured.

“You _matter_ though, Catra.” Adora looked tired, suddenly, the bags in her eyes, the weariness clear in her short if affectionate tone. “You don’t get to throw yourself down because other people tell you you should, chip or no chip.”

“I – can’t matter like that right now,” Catra countered. “As long as this _thing_ is in me, you need to protect your crew from me. I- I’m not safe with it in me.”

“Then we’ll get it out, Catra.” Adora’s voice was firm and determined as she grabbed both of her shoulders and held her steady. “We’re Starfleet. We don’t leave anyone behind. _I_ don’t leave anyone behind. We’re going to figure it out, and Weaver’s going to help us do it, even if I have to beat it out of her.”

“I…as much as I’d like for you to do that, I don’t think Starfleet Intelligence would be fans of that.”

“Fine, I’ll stun her or something.”

“The guards took your Phaser.”

“Well I- “Adora sighed, and Catra chuckled. “We’ll figure it out, ok? I promise?” Catra swallowed, painfully aware that Adora was still holding on her tightly.

“If she knows about Hordak, she’ll know about the chips, and if she doesn’t know about Hordak, well-she’ll see.” Adora’s little smirk had a glint of malice to it that did _something_ to Catra that she wasn’t sure she could describe, and it took Catra’s brain a second to recover before she could hurry along down the corridor and catch up with the Blonde, whose business-like smile was weirdly reassuring.

***

Shadow Weaver’s Cell did not really deserve such a shabby name. On any Starbase, this would be closer to an executive suite, the sort of quarters that Admirals and Ambassadors and Bureaucrats tussled over, with a large, wide, well-lit living area outfitted with a lounge set, a work desk and a large, wall-length bookshelf. In front of them, a tea set lay on a low coffee table between a sofa and two armchairs, while to their left a floor to ceiling window showed the view of the expansive prison gardens.

“You know, if I knew this was where I was heading, I’d commit treason more often,” Catra quipped, earning a severe look from Adora.

“If you commit treason, they’d lock you in a cage and leave you for dead,” a sneered voice called from another room, and they turned to see the tall woman in a long red dress with a mask over her lower face emerge, gliding across the lounge eerily to tower over the two of them. Even behind it, Catra knew she was sneering at the two of them, her piercing eyes taking her apart piece by piece. The sudden chill that rose through her body and made we feel half her height came suddenly, throwing Catra back into a childhood of fear, pain, the inadequacy of loneliness.

The woman stared down at her wrists, a smug look for derision on her face. “I see you’ve managed to scrape yourself further up the ladder _Catra_ – or should I say, _Lieutenant Commander._ What has Starfleet come to when they value the likes of _you_ above more worthy individuals?” She didn’t feel like a Starfleet Officer right now. She was the kid who failed the maths tests, who never got a high enough score in computing, who never lived up to what her foster mother wanted of her. Her tailed twitched from side to side, and she found herself counting the exits like she used to. Next to her, however, Adora stood tall, arms crossed as she stared Weaver down.

“Ms Weaver.”

“Oh please, _Adora,_ you know me. Call me Sharon,” the bitch crooned as she glided across to them.

“You can call me Captain Gray, Ms Weaver,” Adora said firmly, a small snarl in her voice. Catra hid a small smirk as Weaver flinched at the retort before she leant down to the table.

“Very well, _Captain._ ” She gestured to the sofa with one hand. Adora glanced at Catra with an indecipherable look before they walked over and sat down. Catra sat bolt upright before realising she was sitting the exact way she used to as a child, and relaxed slightly into a more comfortable position, still placing her hands on her knees to still herself. Adora, however, sat leaning forward, her piercing blue-gray eyes not leaving Weaver for a second. “Tea?” she offered. Catra shook her head. Adora didn’t answer either. Weaver shrugged and poured herself a cup. “It’s very good. Grown here on the compound. Helps calm the nerves after a stressful day tending the garden. I’ve been very busy, you know. Roses do not grow very well in Mystacoran soil, but I think I’ve managed to get them to really grip onto what good there is in it”

“With the greatest respect, I really don’t care about your choice in Beverage,” Adora replied. “We came here on Starfleet Business, not to chance about your horticultural endeavours.” Catra say Weaver paused for a second as she stared at Adora, who held her gaze despite the glare coming from the prisoner.

“The Governor did mention that this wasn’t a social call,” she replied eventually. “Something about my dear old friend Phillip Hordak?”

“Prick,” Catra muttered, earning a glare from Weaver.

“Have you not learnt to speak only when your betters allow?” Weaver hissed. Catra glared back, but without much determination.

Adora watched Catra curiously, then turned back to Weaver. “The Alliance was surveying a planet when we encountered the Horde, both chipped individuals and Horde spacecraft.” The Captain handed weaver the Padd.

“Remnants?” Weaver mused, running a knarled finger along the padd as she read the report. “I assure you; Starfleet did a very thorough job when it turned Frightus into a pile of ash.”

Adora pushed on, ignoring the dismissal. “There are signs that the computer terminals we encountered were connected to a larger system of terminals across several star systems.”

Weaver raised an eyebrow. “What star systems?” Adora leant over and pointed to a list on the Padd. Weaver let out a small, heartless chuckle. “Now, now, what do we have here? Yet another Starfleet Captain on the wild goose chase to find Etheria?” She handed the padd back to Adora. “I don’t know what this has to do with me. I try not to get myself involved with _lost causes_ these days,” she said with a mocking sneer, staring straight at Catra.

“We know that Hordak had begun searching for something in the Crimson Waste before the War. Something big.”

“How is that my business?” she said huffily. “My dealings with Hordak had no relationship with his independent prospecting. All I did was...” Weaver trailed off as she searched for the correct euphemism for treason. “aid his other efforts.”

Adora raised an unconvinced eyebrow at her. “Are you seriously telling me you had no idea about anything Hordak was doing in the Crimson Waste?”

“Nothing. I may have supplied him with equipment, but I didn’t ask questions.” She glared at Catra for a second. _Do not waver now, little sister_ the chilling voice said as it washed through Catra’s body. Adora didn’t see, still staring at Weaver.

“Nothing?” She asked one more time.

“I’m sorry, _Captain_ ,” Weaver said, almost purring. “You must be misinformed.” She turned to stare daggers down at Catra. “I think you should do better than to trust sewer rats like Catra here.”

Catra had to use all her willpower not to flinch under that gaze. _Pull it together Catra. You’re 29. She owes you nothing. She has no power over you now._ “I’m not the source for you knowing about this, Weaver,” she replied.

“Really? Then who is?” She sneered.

“You are,” replied Adora.

“Oh, really?” Weaver replied. If she was shocked, she didn’t let them know. “When would I say such a thing?”

“Your deposition to the Emergency Tribunal of the Federation Supreme Court on the 22nd of September 2262, Time 16:45 pm Earth Standard.” Adora tapped the padd another time, highlighting the section. “Your specific words were, ‘I knew everything Phillip planned. He told me everything, and I told him. If you want to know what he plans to do, when and how, you best keep me around or they’ll go to the grave with me.’”

Weaver’s eyes now turned on Adora like the glare of Starship’s phaser cutting through space, locking on the Blonde Womans’ eyes, but Adora’s once fierce gaze met it. “It’s all here, Ms Weaver.”

“I see,” She hummed. “I’m afraid my memory has slipped much since then. I don’t think I can help you. I’m sorry Captain.”

“I understand,” Adora said, a sickeningly official smile on her face as she tapped away at the padd. “Now, Commander Weaver, do you think we could make a stop at Elba II before we proceed into the Waste?”

 _What?_ “…Elba II? That’s the other side of Starbase 22 from the Waste sir.”

Adora nodded. “That’s true. Now the _Hood_ is nearby, isn’t it?. Do you think she could take Ms Weaver to Elba II? I sure Captain Toussaint wouldn’t mind the detour.”

“Elba II?” Weaver looked, worried. Catra liked that.

“It’s a Penal Colony,” Adora continued, tapping away at nothing on the Padd. “State of the art. Deals in those patients who require high-security treatment, especially the criminally insane.”

“Criminally insane?” Weaver spat. “What are you implying?”

“Well, if you can’t remember your own deposition, that’s very concerning, and considering the level of your crimes it would be dangerous to Federation security for you to be left in this facility.” Adora’s face betrayed nothing but professional passivity even as Catra could see the cogs whirring in Shadow Weaver’s head.

“You -you can’t do that! I am a Mystacoran citizen! You have no right to extradite me!” Catra rolled her eyes at that, for several reasons.

Adora sucked her teeth dramatically. “I suppose that’s true. Then again, the punishment for treason on Mystacor is still Death of Personality, and the Federation sentence does apply in this jurisdiction.” Adora sighed even more dramatically. “I _suppose_ I will have to talk to the Legate Council about this, but you do seem to be right here.” She stood up, and Catra instinctively got to her feet with her, watching the horrified look in Weaver’s eyes with some glee. “I’m sorry for wasting your time, Ms Weaver,” Adora said with another sickly smile, giving her a polite not. “Come along, Commander.”

“Wait!” Weaver said as they started to leave.

“Yes?” Adora said, watching her.

“I…” Weaver sighed. “Fine. You win, _Captain Gray,_ ” Weaver hissed. Adora smiled again, and Catra couldn’t help but give Weaver her own smug grin as they went to sit back down again.

“Now, where were we?” Adora tapped at the padd again, before fixing Weaver with another glare. “The Crimson Waste, I believe.”

“Yes.”

“Now why exactly was Hordak interested in the Waste?”

“The resources. It was always the resources. _More_ materials to build _more_ foundries to build _more_ ships to conquer _more_ star systems, and so on and so on.” She sighed. “He had ambition, but no imagination. Just more control, more power, more numbers on a spreadsheet. He had no desire to create a legacy, a culture. Just power, for its own sake.”

“You don’t sound impressed,” Catra muttered.

Weaver glowered at her. “He was nowhere as near a waste of potential as you are, mongrel.”

“So, that was it? He had no other motivations for going into the Crimson Waste?”

“Not at first,” Weaver remarked off-handedly.

“I have neither the time nor the patience for cryptic answers Weaver,” Adora pressed, unaware of what exactly her commanding tone did to Catra, who had to force herself not to stare at the Captain as she drilled down Weaver with a hard-set jawline and unflinching eyes. She looked back at Weaver, who watched them both cool from behind her mask.

“Fine. His original intention had been to search the waste for resources, but his early efforts turned up little of use.” She stood up and began to pace. “It had been a smart gamble, really, uncharacteristic for someone as single-minded as Phillip. If he did ‘strike gold’, so to speak, he could exploit it all within the bounds of the waste, under the protection of its anomalies, and no one would be the wiser, especially Starfleet. But nothing turned up. Just dead planets already stripped of all their value. Burnt out husks.” She suddenly turned on her heels to look back at them. “Then, he made a discovery. An abandoned base, over a thousand years old, that had once belonged to the Eternian Empire.”

“The Eternians?” Catra wondered aloud. “What does that have to do with this?”

Weaver rolled her eyes. “I see you are still the dim-witted child who left my care all those years ago. No perspective, no knowledge, no understanding of how the real world works. You cannot see what is really happening even when it scares you in the face!” Catra held her gaze defiantly.

 _You cannot keep us out forever, little sister. The Servant of Prime will be your salvation._ Catra flinched as the voice buzzed through her head, breaking her stare with Weaver.

“Can we get back on topic, please?” Adora said, directing it less at Catra than Weaver, who shrugged nonchalantly. “So Hordak did what exactly with his outpost.”

“The outpost had been a centre of communications before the fall of the Eternians, but the main computer was still connected to the mainframe of the Eternian system, which even through the aeons of history still ran, undisturbed by the rest of the galaxy around it. It was old, and powerful beyond imagination, able to co-ordinate immense systems across light-years. But what was even more important, even more powerful than the computer itself, was the programme it was running.” Weaver had sat back down now and merely refilled her teacup as the two Starfleet Officer’s stared at her.

“Can we cut dramatics, please?” Catra spat. Adora suppressed a cute snort, but weaver merely glared at her.

“Hordak discovered the access codes and controls for what the Eternians called their Light Hope programme. Light Hope was their last, and greatest project – a massive, light-year spanning command and control programme able to defend their entire empire in its dying days. It had immense computing power, and more importantly the ability to coalesce with any other computing software or hardware and repurpose it for its own uses.”

She sipped the tea thoughtfully, drinking in her rapt audience of two. “Hordak rewrote the code for his own purpose and dubbed his new programme ‘Horde Prime’, the ultimate representative of his will so survives, expand and endure. And then he set it to work, enslaving the people of the Eternia sector and expanding his domain while he got on with his other plan.”

“Wait-“Adora cut in. “That was the program? Not Hordak?”

“At this point, there was little difference between the two. What Hordak wanted Prime did, and what Prime willed was what Hordak had commanded, whether it was chipping entire cities or waging war on the Federation.”

“Where was Hordak during all this?” Catra asked. “You said he was up to something else?”

“Much like you two youths, Hordak had been dazzled by the lure of Eternia. Frankly so had I, but for different reasons to you noble, exploration minded Starfleet Officers.”

“What exactly is there to find?” Adora said. “Beyond archaeological discoveries and, well, you know a giant supercomputer, but he’d already found that.”

Weaver snorted. “Please. Do you not remember what people said about the Eternians? Mountains of Pink-Purple Crystal as high as the clouds? Cities that could float in the sky and fly across the world? The Eternian Empire sat on the heart of one of the largest mineral deposits in this Quadrant if ancient history is to be believed, but no one has ever found out where they were. The Waste makes it impossible to scan, and enough ships have disappeared inside it to make prospecting inside it a fools’ errand.”

“But Hordak thought he’d cracked it, right?” Catra pushed. “He had his big crazy computer, and he could use that to help put the pieces together? And funky defence programme so no one would find out?”

“That was the idea. Whether he achieved it or not, I don’t know. The last time he spoke to me he said he had nearly discovered enough to pinpoint the location of Etheria itself.” She sipped the tea again maliciously. “He even sent me proof. He said that he was going to use the planet as a new base of operations, turning all its technology to his will.”

Adora raised an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t happen to have this proof with you, perhaps?”

Weaver let out a small, unnatural chuckle. “You really think that they’d let me keep my files here?”

Adora rolled her eyes. “You’re clever. If you needed to hide them, you’d find a way.” Her and Weaver had another, painfully long staredown before eventually the other woman relented and stood up. She glided across the room to the bookcase, and picked a large tome off the wall, opening it to reveal a hidden compartment inside which held several brightly coloured data slates.

She picked one and handed it over to Adora without looking her in the eye. “This has the final communication he sent to me, along with his plans for operating on _so-called Etheria_ and some of the calculations he’d made for finding its location.”

“Thank you, Ms Weaver,” the Captain said breezily. She stuck it into the slot on her Padd, watching the readout carefully. Even from where she sat, Catra could feel the seething anger boiling off of weaver and rolling across the room. She’d always hated being caught out, having _her_ secrets being revealed by anyone, especially those she felt unworthy. Suddenly her eyes were turned to Catra, running over her like a sensor beam again.

“Why is _she_ here anyway? We could have easily had this conversation without such a _disturbing_ presence ruining the atmosphere.” Catra held Weaver’s gaze despite the discomforting itch that rolled across her body as her old tormentor watched her.

Adora didn’t look up from the readings on her Padd. “We’ll get to that in a second, Weaver.” The Padd chirped suddenly, and Catra craned over Adora’s shoulder (probably closer to her than necessary) to read it. “It’s picking up correlations between our data and Hordak’s, but it will take time to get a result.”

“Why not go back to your ship?” Weaver asked slyly. “Surely it would be quicker.”

“We’ll get our answer in time,” Adora brushed off. “Anyway, it gives us time to talk about Commander Weaver.”

“What about, exactly?” Weaver preened.

“Well,” Adora began, suddenly more hesitant. She glanced briefly at Catra before continuing, the fresh nervousness clear in her eyes. “during our investigation of the Horde base on Erelandia, Commander Weaver-Catra- had an incident. Her- her body was taken over by an external force.”

Across from them, Ms Weaver looked visibly uncomfortable. Well, as uncomfortable as that bitch was physically capable of being. “I don’t understand.”

“Oh for fucks’-“Catra had really no time for this. “I have a chip in my neck you cow! One of Hordak's! And I think you know something about that!”

Weaver seemed unmollified by the outburst, even as Adora gave Catra a concerned look. “I have no idea what you mean, Catra. If you found yourself at the mercy of Hordak, that can only be down to your own failings as an individual. You can’t simply blame me for things that are _clearly_ your fault.”

“My fault? I-“

“Don’t you _dare_ yell at me, you-“

“That’s enough!” Adora growled at both of them, her force mainly directed at Weaver. “Answer the question. Do you know anything about a different kind of chip?”

Weaver’s phaser-like glare was directed on Adora now, but the blonde didn’t seem to notice. Catra realised that she was holding her hand now, gripping it tightly to ground herself. She wanted to pull it away but couldn’t.

“Phillip had mentioned something about smaller chips, but then the Starfleet task force turned up and-“Weaver gave a dramatic sigh. “Well, I heard nothing but hypotheticals.”

“Really.” Adora didn’t sound convinced.

“It’s the truth, _Captain_ Gray. I don’t know what else to offer you.”

Adora went to push on but was interrupted by the Padd on her knee chirping. She picked it up, looking at the readout with some curiosity, and detectable unease.

“Well?” Weaver asked impatiently.

“It’s got a rough estimate for the Etheria system. Somewhere within the waste itself…” She held up a map, a red light pinging deep within the yellow cloud that designated the hazard zone.

“Closer to the Klingon side,” Weaver mused. “But still within striking distance of three Starbases and several colonies. A good forward base, would you not agree?”

Adora ignored her, standing up with the Padd. “I need to get this to the ship.”

“You’ll have to head out to the main control centre,” Weaver noted matter-of-factly. “They won’t let any external communications in the wings.”

“Fine.” Adora turned to Catra. “Do you want to come, Commander?”

“Y-“Catra caught herself. She had wanted to go, but suddenly the idea seemed stupid. No, she should stay. She could get Weaver to ‘fess up about the damn chip in her next. She could do that. She didn’t need to tag along, nipping at Adora’s legs like a dog. She could look after herself. “I’ll stay,” she declared.

“Sure?” Adora looked concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” she snapped, glaring at Adora. She stopped immediately, unsure where the anger even came from. “I – I can manage. I can grab you on the internal comms if there are any problems.” Adora nodded, cast one last severe look at Weaver, then strode out of the room.

Weaver watched her go, then stood up and glided over to her desk. Catra watched her, glued to her seat somehow. “So,” she began. “About that chip in my neck-“

“Ah yes, _the chip_.” Weaver’s hand went to a panel on the side of her desk that Catra hadn’t noticed before. “What peculiar devices. You know they were originally used by Orion slavers?”

“I’m aware.” Catra snapped.

“They didn’t have anything as magnificent as a supercomputer to control them. No, they had to manage their control with simple pain and _discipline._ Something you never understood as a child.”

“You didn’t exactly help,” Catra hissed. “No one’s giving you the parent of the year award, are they?”

Weaver glowered at her again as she tapped at some buttons on the panel, something behind the bookshelf beginning to whirr, almost like a computer booting up a new programme. “You know, Catra, now I think about it properly, I do think I might remember more about that _special_ chip you and _Captain_ Gray mentioned.”

Catra’s ears pricked up. “Really?”

“Yes,” Weaver said, hands resting on the console while she looked measuredly at the Caitain. “They were designed for deep infiltration, undetectable by any but the most severe inspections, and able to influence a person without them even knowing.”

Catra blinked at her for a second. “What are you- you mean –“ Her mind raced for a second. The Mikasa. The Trial. Her sudden acquittal. Could it really be- “Who knows this?

“Well, very few people, my dear. Me. My prosecutor, _Commodore_ Brightmoon. The rest of that Show-Trial’s rogues gallery.”

“And me, now.”

“You always seem to know my secrets, don’t you?”

“Sure I do, _Nuqjatlh_ ,” Catra sneered, spitting Weaver’s real, Klingon name at her, much to the woman’s surprise. “I’m sorry, did you really think I didn’t know?”

“It appears I can’t hide much from you,” Weaver noted with disgust.

“That’s very much your problem,” Catra huffed.

“ _Not for long_ ,” Weaver snarled. She twisted the dials and instantly pain seized the Caitain’s body.

Catra fell to the floor, gasping, before the pain ebbed for a second and she staggered to her feet, wincing as another pulse shuddered through her. “What the hell are you-“ there was another pulse and she crumpled onto the floor.

“You know, Catra, you’ve done a lot to me over the last 20 years,” Weaver said emotionlessly as Catra writhed on the floor. “You embarrassed me with your failures. Upstaged me with your escapades and riotous acts. Disowned me and fled to _Starfleet_ , throwing away every plan I ever had for you.”

“Fuck you and your goodman plans, you crazy Klingon bitch!” Catra yelled as the electrical charge pulsed through her again.

“I had a duty to the Empire, Catra, and _you_ could have been part of it. Honourable. Glorious. But you chose to take the earther’s path. And then, when I finally had _use_ for you, you could even do that properly, even with me controlling your every action. Your every thought. _Even_ then you were still a failure. You _destroyed_ me Catra, and now I’m going to destroy _you!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger? Cliffhanger. (Sorry)
> 
> I'll not to leave this one hanging for too long - this was only meant to be one chapter originally, so the next one is basically ready to go. 
> 
> Once again, leave comments, they're the best way to make sure I keep writing!


	13. Mystacor, Part 2

_The Cellblock was cold. It seemed like a conscious choice, and Adora awkwardly rubbed her hands together as she stood at a security post, waiting for the guard in front of her ran her visitor pass through the system. Part of her was scared it would be rejected; that she’d be sent away; that she wouldn’t get to speak to-_

_Well, she wouldn’t know what to do then. She – she had to talk to Catra. She **had** to. Her name had been the first thing she’d said when she’d woken up in the _Mikasa’s _sickbay and had felt sick when she’d been told Catra – **her** Catra – was locked up in the brig until they arrived at Starbase 14. Now, she was told that she was being put on trial for sabotage – and that she was going to plead guilty. Guilty! How could Catra be guilty! Sure, she had shot Adora in the back, but that had all been a misunderstanding, right? Maybe if she talked to her, maybe she’d listen, right? I mean, it hadn’t worked back on the ship, but this was different, right? But what if-_

_“All clear, Lieutenant,” the guard spoke up. Adora looked up from her feet to see him holding her pass out._

_“Oh! -“ Adora took it gingerly._

_“If you’ll follow me, sir.” Adora nodded and followed the guard deeper into the stockade and finally down a corridor lined with cells. They were all empty, except for one at the far end of the corridor. Behind the hum of a forcefield, a caitain in a Red Starfleet uniform lay on a bed, staring at a ceiling. She didn’t move until the guard deactivated the forcefield, quickly turning to face away from the corridor and Adora, presenting only a bushy head of hair. Adora glanced at the guard, then stepped into the cell, flinching as the field behind her snapped back into place._

_For a second, she stood there awkwardly, waiting for something to happen. The only noise was the hum of the forcefield and the heavy, agitated breathing of the cell’s occupant, the cold, grey walls lit by harsh overhead lighting. The room stank of disinfectant, the air staler than it had been in the corridor._

_“Hi, Catra.” Adora began. Catra didn’t turn around. “How- how are you?”_

_Catra didn’t reply. She didn’t even insult her. She didn’t even make a noise. If she hadn’t been breathing so heavily, Adora might have thought she was dead._

_“…are they treating you well? What's the food like?”_

_“Why do you care?” Catra spat, still facing the wall._

_“Well- I was in the canteen and they were serving that sequenced protein that’s meant to be chicken and I know you don’t like that and-“_

_“Like you were thinking about me,” Catra muttered, her tailing twitching with agitation._

_Adora frowned. “Of course I was thinking about you. I care.”_

_“Sure.”_

_Adora waited for any further comment. “So, erm, are they-“_

_“They’re feeding me fine, Adora. You don’t have to coddle me.”_

_“I’m- I’m sorry.”_

_“Sure.”_

_Adora stared at Catra’s back for a second, willing her to turn around. She didn’t. Adora sighed, a slumped a little lower in the chair. “I came to talk, Catra.”_

_“Talk?” Catra’s tail fluffed up suddenly. “About **what**?”_

_“Well- I came to talk about what happened.” Adora rubbed her hands together nervously, then began fiddling with her right cuff. “I- I wanted to ask-“_

_“To ask what?”_

_“Well-“_

_“Spit it out, Adora,” Catra hissed._

_“Why are you pleading guilty?” Adora asked, pleadingly. “It’s a sabotage and manslaughter charge. You’ll get 20 years in the stockade, maybe even more!”_

_Catra flipped around to lie flat on her back, turning her head to glare at Adora. She looked gaunt and sallow, her face uncharacteristically pale, her lips cracked and dry. Her hair was unkempt by even Catra’s standards. Deep, heavy-set bags clung to her eyelids; the eyes behind them haggard as they glared from their pits deep into Adora’s soul. The blonde girl couldn’t help but gasp, and Catra flinched at the noise._

_“Catra…” she breathed._

_“I’m pleading guilty, Adora. You can’t change that.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because **I’m guilty,**_ _you moron.”_

_“But-“Adora’s breath hitched as Catra snarled at her. “There must be some misunderstanding here- you- you didn’t do anything wrong!”_

_“Oh get a grip Adora,” Catra growled. " I didn’t do anything wrong?’ What the hell is that meant to mean?”_

_“C’mon, Catra! You didn’t mean to do anything wrong! You- you just found that regulator in there and panicked!” That was true, wasn’t it? That was what had happened. That’s what Adora **knew** had happened. There was nothing else that could have happened. Nothing._

_But instead of nodding, or smiling, or agreeing, Catra merely let out a high, mocking cackle. “ **Panicked?** ” She laughed again, even as she glared at Adora with menace. “I didn’t panic, Adora. I’m didn’t freak. I wasn’t acting on impulse. I knew exactly what I was doing, and why. I needed to do it. I knew that. And the fact you don’t understand that yet disgusts me.”_

_“Catra-“ Adora breathed._

_“I only mistake I made was setting that Phaser to stun,” Catra continued, shifting her head so she was staring at the ceiling now. “Then I wouldn’t have to listen to your prattling.”_

_“You-you don’t mean that-“_

_“Why shouldn’t I?”_

_“I came here to help you!”_

_“ **Help** me? When have you ever helped me? All you’ve ever done is use me as a crutch, as a sob story, as someone to make you feel better about everything you do.”_

_“That’s-” Adora was struggling to stay calm. “That’s not true Catra! I care about you! I believe in you! You're my friend!"_

_“If you **care** about me Adora- if you **believe** in me, then for once in your goddamn life will you shut your stupid mouth and just **listen** to me.” Catra rolled back over to glare at Adora. “I knew what I was doing. Everything. And I’m not going to defend it. And I’m not going to let **you** use me to cover yourself in glory!”_

_“Glor-what are you talking about?”_

_“Oh, shut up Adora,” Catra hissed as she sat up on the bed. “I already know how this goes. You get to go up on the stand and say how noble and brave and kind I am and how you would die for me, and then you offer yourself up and say it was you or something.” She stood up and walked slowly over to Adora, who stood up nervously as Catra paced in front of her. “You don’t get to do this for me, Adora. You don’t get to **save** me, just because you’re the hero. Just because you’re the glory girl. The one everyone loved more than me, even my own Mother!”_

_“Catra I’m trying to help!” Adora was blinking tears away from her eyes as Catra seethed across the cell from her. “I- I don’t want you to go to jail!”_

_“What if I want to, huh. What about what **I** want?”_

_Adora stared at her, shocked. “Why would you want to go to jail?”_

_“I don’t know, because I deserve it?” Catra had locked eyes with Adora now, glaring into her soul. “I’m not little miss perfect, Adora. I don’t walk in lockstep with whatever people think of me. I don’t think my **duty** is more important than my friends on myself. I do what I want. And that has consequences, and I knew that. So I’ll face them.”_

_“But Catra! We can fix this! **I** can fix this!”_

_“I don’t **want** you to fix this. I don’t **want** you to fix me like I’m some broken toy. I’m my own person Adora. I don’t need you using me to make yourself feel better.”_

_“Make my-“Adora blinked, then glared back. “I’m not doing this for myself Catra, I’m doing this for you!”_

_“For me? Why? You don’t care about me!”_

_“Don’t-“ the blonde flinched for a second, horrified. “Of course, I care about you! I- you’re my friend!”_

_“Oh give me a break,” Catra growled. “You didn’t care about me.”_

_“Catra!”_

_“Save it, Adora. I don’t care what you think, or what you’re gonna say on that stand. You had your chance to help me and instead, you ran away like the coward you are.”_

_“Catra, Please, I-“_

_“Save it, Adora! I know you don’t care!”_

_“Don’t care? **Don’t care?** ” Adora seethed, her fists balled. “You know how hard I had to fight to see you! You know how many hoops I had to jump through, how many times I had to vouch for you, defend you, stake my career on the fact that you weren’t what everyone said you were? You **really** think I don’t care?”_

_“If you cared, you would have helped me!”_

_“That wasn’t an option, and you know it!”_

_“Well-“_

_“Lieutenant Weaver?” a new voice interrupted them, and both Catra and Adora whipped around to see a tall, thin Starfleet Captain with long, flowing hair standing on the other side of the cell’s forcefield. Adora immediately snapped to attention, while Catra merely glared at her._

_“What do you want?” the caitian hissed. If the Captain was surprised or offended, it didn’t show._

_“My name is Captain Angella Brightmoon.”'m your defence counsel."_

_“Counsel?” Catra snorted. “I don’t need counsel. I’m pleading guilty, or did you not get that memo?”_

_“I saw it,” the Captain replied, “and I wanted to talk to you first. I think I can help.”_

_“I **don’t** need help,” Catra growled, looking more at Adora than Captain Brightmoon. “Why are you doing this anyway? I’m gutter trash.”_

_"I'm a sucker for lost causes," Angella said with a small laugh. Neither of the cells other occupants joined in. "In all seriousness, I think you're making a mistake in not fighting this."_

_The caitain rolled her eyes."I mean, the evidence is pretty damning. I don't want to tell some sob story on the stand. I just want this over with."_

_"Well I do have something substantial," Angella began. “ I was reviewing the security footage, and there’s something that doesn’t sit right with me. I think you'll want to see it.” Catra stared at her for a good while, taking in the poised, elegant but firm posture and the severe smile on the Captain’s face._

_“Fine. Five minutes.” Catra decided on, stepping back, and sitting on her bed, still glaring at Captain Brightmoon, who merely gave a polite smile before turning to Adora._

_“Is Lieutenant-“_

_“Gray, sir,” Adora added promptly._

_“Is Lieutenant Gray a friend?” Adora glanced over a Catra, frightened. Catra didn’t look at her._

_“No,” Catra said, looking at the floor. “She doesn’t care.”_

_“Then I’m afraid you’ll have to leave, Lieutenant.”_

_“Catra?” she breathed, barely audible. The Captain frowned at her client but turned to guide Adora to the cell exit._

_“I’m sorry, but there are rules for this,” Captain Brightmoon said gently as the guard deactivated the forcefield._

_“I- I understand,” Adora said, ignoring the tears welling in her eyes. “Just- let me know how she is, please? Sir? I- “the blonde dropped her eyeline, hiding her tears from the superior officer. “I just want her to be safe.”_

_“I understand,” Angella said tenderly. “I’ll see what I can do.”_

*******

**“Mystacor Control here.”**

“This is Captain Adora Gray. Put me through to the USS _Alliance_.”

“ **Aye Sir.”** There was a moment of static before call passed through the shield above them.

 **“Sherwood here!** ” Bow squeaked, which was…concerning.

“This is the Captain. Governor Weaver has supplied us with the rough location of Etheria itself and confirmed that if Hordak is operating anywhere, it’ll be there. It should be transmitting now.”

“ **Oh! That’s, erm, great! I’ll pass it on to Stellar Cartography to work on immediately, but I think we’ve got a bigger problem.”**

Adora frowned. “Go on.”

“ **I- I’ll pass you down to Glimmer.”** There was a second as the communication channel passed back into the hands of Mystacor control, leaving Adora in frustrated suspense. She didn’t like being out here while Catra was alone in _there_ with that woman. Adora knew what she could do to Catra, even without technology. Abuse her. Twist her. Destroy her mentally.

 **“Captain?”** Glimmer’s voice came haggardly through the comm panel.

“Gray here."

“ **Oh! Captain! I didn’t realise you’d be here too!”** Entrapta’s voice bubbled through the speaker.

“ **Entrapta!** ” Glimmer hissed.

“What’s going on, Glimmer?” Adora asked. “Bow said there was a problem of some kind?”

“Well-“Glimmer sighed. “ **We have good news and bad news.”**

Adora frowned. “The good news?”

“ **We know what Catra’s chip does!** ”

“ **Entrapta! That’s the bad news!”** Glimmer groaned.

“Wait, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?”

“ **Well- actually, that’s – you know what, now I think about it, there’s no good news is there.”**

“Glimmer, can you just tell me what’s going on.”

“ **Ok, well-“** The science officer sighed. **“Entrapta?”**

**“Oh! The chip in Catra’s neck is a similar, but more intricate design to the one Hordak used. Much harder to find, with rotating subspace wavebands to prevent jamming, as a well as a farrrr subtler method of mind control.”**

“…how so?”

**“Well, it _can_ operate as a standard Horde chip, as it did when first reactivated, but normally it runs by feeding suggestive ideas and information into a person’s subconscious – it can even replace subconscious thought entirely, changing moods and personalities at whim. It can also make them perform actions and then wipe their memories completely!”**

“How do you know this?”

**“I was only able to pinpoint it’s operating specs because Bow was able to match the harmonic frequency with an old Mystacoran punishment band. Apparently, before they perfected the technology for death of personality – horrific and inhumane form of punishment, by the way – they would use these devices to subvert subconscious thoughts in the criminally insane. They could, however, be used to take direct control of the prisoners, or even to kill them entirely.”**

“My God,” Adora breathed. “And this had been in Catra for how long?”

**“I couldn’t tell without a direct examination, but I’d say at least seven years, most likely longer. The signals piggyback on subspace radio channels with almost unlimited range, so anywhere she went in that time, it was active.”**

there was a scuffling noise that made it clear that Glimmer was now running somewhere at speed. “ **Scorpia and I were helping the Commander her locate those strange signals when Entrapta called to update us on her work. It was then that we realised that they were being targeted at the _Alliance._ ”**

“The Ship?”

“ **That’s right. And not just recently.”**

“What do you mean, ‘not just recently.’”

 **“The Commander confirmed that the signals have been being transmitted from as early as Stardate 4624.21. Which is-** “

“When we activated the Horde programme on Erelandia…” Suddenly, Adora’s suspicions became more than a hunch, the pieces falling together in front of her as Glimmer continued.

**“Then, with Entrapta’s aid, we realised that the signals the Commander was detecting were the exact same operating frequency as the ones we picked up being transmitted to Catra.”**

“What?” Adora blinked in shock.

 **“Now, the signals stopped once we arrived on the surface, but then a few minutes ago they suddenly started up again.** **We were able to pinpoint the source of the transmission directly, to within 10 metres. Scorpia and I are already en route with a security team.”**

“Where is it?” Adora tensed unconsciously, her hand balled tightly in a fist. “Where?”

**“The room you just left, Captain.”**

Adora’s blood ran cold. “Catra…”

 **“Captain, we’ll be there in five minutes, maybe less.”** _She doesn’t have that long._ **“Hold your position and-“**.The communications panel was already forgotten as Adora raced through the corridors of the prison, ignoring the yell of a redshirt at a guard post as she vaulted his desk and broke into a sprint, her heart racing. The door to Weaver’s cell seemed so far, even as she pushed herself to run faster and faster, her tricorder and Padd jolting against her hip as she ran through the gabled corridors.

“Catra!” she yelled, pushing herself further. “I’m coming! Hold on!”

***

_“What the hell is this?” Catra was staring at the Padd, watching herself talk into a communicator in her and Adora’s quarters. “I have no recollection of this at all. None. Zero. This did not happen.”_

_“Well,” Angella said gently. “It’s here. The footage is real.”_

_“But-“ Catra winced as a jolt came up her neck. “I- it doesn’t matter. I’m guilty.”_

_“There’s a difference between whether you did this because you wanted to, or because you were coerced.”_

_“Coerced?” Catra leant back from the small table, crooking an eyebrow at Captain Brightmoon. “I wasn’t coerced.”_

_The Captain sighed. “There are ways people have been coerced without knowing it. Forced. Devices that can place suggestive tendencies in a person.”_

_“Bullshit,” Catra countered._

_“I’ve had experience with it,” the tall woman said with some remorse. “With your foster Mother, to be exact?”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“I can’t really give many details, but it’s safe to say that Governor Weaver had some…interesting proposals for winning the last war with the Klingons.” Angella let out a weary sigh._

_“What does that cow have to do with this?” Catra growled._

_“I don’t know, but-“ The Captain gave Catra a weary smile. “If my hunch is right, she’s at fault here, not you.”_

_Catra snorted. “That sounds fucking likely. There’s nothing she enjoys more than inflicting pain on me." A shiver went up to her spine at the thought, twisting in her neck. “I- I don’t know though. Would she really do this? Why?”_

_“Weaver has…some reasons to be considered less than loyal,” Angella said tactfully. “Some other officers and I have had suspicions about her allegiance for several years now. Missing supply shipments. Bungled orders. General scheming.” The Captain sighed. “We think she’s dangerous to Starfleet and to the Federation, and she needs to be stopped.”_

_“And where does little me fit into this?” Catra snarked. “I’d remember if Shadow weaver threatened me, wouldn’t I?”_

_Angella gave a weary smile. “Would you? Think about that day. What do you remember about that day? Do you remember taking the Regulator?”_

_Catra thought for a second. “I…don’t.” How did she not remember? “I know I did it, but I don’t actually- well, I know I think I did it.” She shuddered. “What the hell is going on?”_

_“Think harder,” Captain Brightmoon pressed. “Try.”_

_“I- I can’t remember removing the regulator. I can’t remember that conversation with the communicator.” Catra winced, clutching her head in her heads. “Why can’t I remember it!!”_

_“Are you sure you can’t remember those events specifically?”_

_“Yes! Everything around them is so clear! Stealing the Phaser, confronting Adora, firing the-“ Catra hid in her hands. “God, I don’t even know why I did it! This doesn’t make sense!”_

_“It makes sense to me,” Angella said gently._

_“Why?” Catra muttered. “It’s bullshit.”_

_“Someone messed with you mind Catra. I don’t know how, but I’m going to find out.” She laid a soft hand on Catra’s shoulder, steadying her. “I might be able to help you, Lieutenant.”_

_“Why do you care?” Catra asked. “I’m not important. I just help you get Weaver.” She looked up from her arms, fixing her gaze determinedly. “What can I do?”_

_“We can make you take a verifier scan. If you aren’t lying-“_

_“I’m not.”_

_“I know, and the machine will verify that you cannot remember those specific events or why you did them. Matched with the communicator records, and the video of events the verifier will confirm you do not remember, we have a case for foul play.”_

_“And what’ll that get me?”_

_“A fighting chance,” Angella said with determination. “You deserve that much.”_

_Catra scowled. “I’m not sure I do.”_

_Angella looked unconvinced by the self-loathing “You **are** important. People care about you. Your friend Adora cares enough about you, doesn’t she?”_

_Catra shivered at the mention of the name. “I – it doesn’t matter. She’s gone now. She’s not coming back.”_

***

Catra’s whole body was on fire. Her head throbbed, her skin burned, her lungs ached, and her whole neck felt like it was about to snap off. The voices in her head were no longer understandable, just screeching and yelling and groans, murderous words and cries in an unceasingly unending din. And above it all, the sneering voice of Weaver as she twisted the control knobs on her device, staring dispassionately down at her.

“You know, I still think this is too easy a death for you, _Catra_. I take no enjoyment from drawing the life out of you through machinery. It’s…dispassionate….sterile. _Dishonourable_. I do not even have to draw any of your feeble blood from your body. I just sit here and turn these dials, and the device in your neck does all the work for me.”

“Then why not come over here and do it yourself?” Catra hissed through the pain.

“Because _you_ do not deserve the honour of an easy death, or a quick death, or any death with _any_ honour. _You_ are the reason I am here, Catra, stuck in this padded cell drinking green tea and tending to _roses_ like a pe’tach instead of walking the halls of Kronos, a lauded hero. _You_ are the reason my name is disgraced, a bitter taste in every Klingon who dares to speak its mouth, a ‘traitor to the empire’ who betrayed their people during our great war with the Federation.”

She turned the dials up higher, and Catra’s limbs almost buckled under the strain. “I had great plans Catra. _Glorious_ plans. Plans that would have made the Klingon Empire the most powerful force in the whole Alpha Quadrant. I could have harnessed all that Hordak had created for the glory of the Empire and _crushed_ Starfleet beneath me, but _you_ had to break. You were always the weakest link, the runt, the coward, the one who stepped out of line. You had to talk, to plead for you own weak, pointless life and defend your pitiful honour.”

“Go to hell!” Catra spat as another wave of electricity shot through her.

“You destroyed me, Catra! And I will destroy you, bit by bit, in mind and in body, and I will enjoy _every second of it._ The pulsing pain grew worse, and she had to resist the urge to try and tear her own skin off in desperation. “No one is coming, for you Catra. No one cares about you, you mongrel. Why would they? You mean _nothing_ to them. They think you’re a liar. A coward. A Traitor. And they’re right, aren’t they? You’re a _failure,_ Catra Weaver. And you will die here, alone, with only me to watch.”

“Catra!” the voice was distant, and Catra could barely hear it above the booming din in her own head. Was it real? It couldn’t me, she forced her eyes open. From where she lay, she could see the door in front of her, mocking her. Adora wasn’t coming. No one was.

The doorway burst open. The Captain stood there her eyes wide, panting, her hair askew. She was looking straight at Catra, horror etched into her face. “Catra!”

“There’s nothing you can do for her, _Captain_ ,” Weaver hissed, twisting the knobs as far as they’d go. “She’s going to rip your throat out, and then her brain will turn to fire, and then she'll be gone. There’s _nothing_ you can do.”

The pain leapt through every nerve in Catra's body, every sinew and every inch of her body, contorting and twisting. Catra screamed as she felt herself push off of the floor and leap at Adora, her claws unsheathed, aiming for Adora’s neck with malice. There was nothing she could do as her hands went around the Captain’s throat, the arm that came up to push Catra away easily deflected away. Her claws were seconds from sinking into Adora’s skin when suddenly Adora’s free hand shoved Catra away before -

Behind them, the whole room shook as a harsh whine of a phaser sounded close to Catra’s left ear. Instantly, a wall of heat crashed over her painfully, but it passed within seconds, and when it did, the pulsing pain of the chip had vanished. Her muscles ached and her skin crawled, and her head still rung with terrifying voices, but they were ebbing away. Slowly, but gradually, feeling returned to her body, and she forced her eyes open.

Adora had crawled out from underneath her and was now climbing slowly to her feet. She had a Type one Phaser aimed determinedly at Weaver, her blues eyes glistening with fury. Catra sat up and turned to see the burnt-out husk of the bookshelf, the hidden computer terminal behind it hissing and sparking in its death throes. The large windows had blown out, and the curtain blew slightly in the cool breeze while sirens wailed in the prison compound outside. Weaver had been thrown clear of her console by the explosion, and she lay on the ground, glaring up at Adora.

“…Adora?” Catra croaked.

“Are you ok?” She asked, standing closer, but where she still had a clear line of fire to Weaver.

“…I don’t think I’m gonna be Mermista’s favourite person at this rate,” the Caitian managed to croak. “How did you get that Phaser?”

“It was in my bra,” Adora replied, still watching weaver recover from the blast.

“…did I just get my life shared by a bra Phaser?”

“If that’s how you want this story to be told.”

Catra let out a painful chuckle. “God, I’ll never live this down will I.”

“Not that you’ll live for long, you pe’tach,” Weaver hissed as she staggered back to her feet, her own Phaser in her hands. “I can still kill you with my bare hands, but this will do for now.”

“Save it, _Nuqjatlh_ ,” Adora growled. “After this, I don’t think Starfleet Intelligence would mind very much if I vaporised you on the spot.”

“You wouldn’t _dare_ ,” she spat. “I still have value to your _Federation_.”

“Try me. _Please._ ” Adora’s grip tightened, the phaser steady in her hand.

Catra could see Weaver making the calculations in her head, grasping her own weapon tightly, looking for any opportunity to kill them before Adora could fire at her. There was a second where Catra thought she’d do it, but then there was a crash as Scorpia, Glimmer and a troop of Redshirts burst through the doorway, their weapons all pointed in Weaver’s direction.

“Hold it!” Scorpia called the Phaser on her right pincer mere metres from Weaver’s face. Weaver hesitated for a second, her eyes still locked on Catra, before she dropped the hand phaser. Two of the officers ran up to her and pulled her aside as the Caitain slumped back onto on the rear of one of the sofas in relief. Glimmer ran over to Catra, a medical tricorder in hand, quickly scanning her.

“What’s the verdict Sparkles?” Catra hissed, her lungs aching.

“The chip in your neck hasn’t done permanent damage to your nervous system, but I can’t be sure here.” The Pink haired woman scowled. “Dammit, I could have avoided this if I’d been paying attention earlier.”

“Paying attention?” Catra croaked.

“The dodgy signals that we were picking up were your chip,” Glimmer muttered as the tricorder whirred. “I could’ve figured out that the crazy bitch over there was behind this.” Glimmer frowned at the readings“No internal bleeding, which is good… but you’ll still need to go to sickbay. Immediately.”

Catra glanced behind Glimmer to see Adora staring at her with a new tenderness in her eyes. “Get her back to the Alliance. I need to speak to the Prison Commandant about their security arrangements, and then get _Nuqjatlh_ here dealt with.”

Catra went to stand up , but her legs gave out under her, still weak from the almost-endless torture. Glimmer and Adora caught her, however, before she could crash back to the ground, and she soon steadied herself and began limping out of the room. Weaver stood by the door, glowering between the two security officers. Catra stopped in front of her, panting at the exertion of standing up.

“You can’t even stand up without help,” Weaver sneered. “You really are a waste of space. I should have left you in the gutter to die like the rat you are. Everything you are, I made and you have _wasted_ it all.”

“You may think you made me, Weaver, but I made me. **I** get to decide who I am, not you. **I** get to choose my friends and my comrades, and they get to choose **me**. You don’t get to decide how good a person I am, chip or no chip. That’s on me.”

“I was this close to being rid of you _Catra_ , but you just had to get away with it. I should have just killed you then.”

“Well, that’s your mistake, not mine,” Catra said severely. She stared up at Weaver’s sneering face, her skin charred with fresh burns, her eyes still boring deep into the Caitain’s skull. She could feel the child in her flinching in fear, cowering in a corner, trying so hard to be _just right_ and good enough for this woman. She could feel the temptation in her to gloat, to scream, to beat this monstrosity of the being into a pulp, but above all she felt _pity_. Pity that this woman needed to destroy others to feel good. Pity that she saw Power, and the wielding of power as her only purpose. That other people were only ever tools for her. That she had made herself incapable of any real connection.

She _wanted_ Catra to be angry with her, to hate her, to despise her because then she’d still always have power over her, wherever she was. But now Catra was free – _really_ free, and all she wanted was to walk away.

Catra turned without a word and staggered out, barely aware that Glimmer was carrying her on one shoulder to the emergency transporter padd that would beam them to the Base before Seahawk could rush them back up to the ship.

***

_Angella looked exhausted. Catra hadn’t seen her since the preliminary inquest had begun. She had been on call for the whole time, but instead of being hauled through the halls of the Starbase to the courtroom, no one had come. She’d sat alone in her cell, picking up the Cello Angella had left with her a few times and playing a few ragged pieces, but no one had disturbed her solitude until late into the night when Angella had arrived out of the blue. There were no guards with her, and when she stepped into the cell, she waved Catra down before she could stand._

_“What’s going on?” the caitain asked. Angella looked at her, took a deep breath and sighed._

_“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.”_

_“Why? It’s my trial, isn’t it?”_

_Angella leant back in her chair, hands steepled in her lap. “Not any more, I’m afraid.”_

_“I don’t understand.”_

_“It appears that N- Governor Weaver was heavily involved in the sabotage on the Mikasa. More involved, really, than you were.”_

_Catra took it all in, taking measured breaths as she processed it. “So, the mind control thing- it’s true?”_

_Angella gave her another pained look. “Yes, Catra. I’m sorry. We don’t know how.”_

_Catra shrugged. “Well, whatever she did do, she can't do it anymore, right?"_ _The Captain gave an affirmative nod, and Catra sighed in relief._ _"Hold on, if you never figured out how she controlled me, then why did she-“_

_“When I presented the evidence from your verifier scan, along with the Communicator call and your blackouts to her, she…” Angella gave weird sort of chuckle. “She decided to tell us all how **stupid** we were that we hadn’t caught her before now.”_

_“That seems pretty stupid in the first place.”_

_“I suppose it was. Anyway, the evidence suggests that you were not acting on your volition or consciously when you performed the acts of sabotage. Thus, all of the most severe charges have been passed onto Governor Weaver, who will be tried in her own right at a later date.”_

_“You got her, then.”_

_“No, Catra. **You** got her.” Angella smiled genuinely at her. It was warm. Nice. _

_Catra thought for a second. “Then why am I still in here?”_

_“Not all the charges are dropped. You are still going to have to face disciplinary action for firing upon a fellow officer.”_

_Oh. Adora. Catra had been trying not to think about Adora. It had been hard. She had just about managed – just - but now she’d have to face her properly. “How does that work?”_

_“You’ll go in front of a board of Captains who will assess your testimony against the evidence and then make a disciplinary decision.”_

_Catra nodded. “What’s our plan then?”_

_Angella looked sad, abruptly. “I can’t be there for you, Catra. I’m sorry.”_

_Catra looked up, horrified. “Why?”_

_“It appears that while Weaver will probably go away for a very long time, many of her friends and allies won’t, and they want their revenge.” Angella looked morose for a second. “I’ve been recalled to Earth for a review. It’s likely I’ll be given a ground assignment. Permanently”_

_“You’ll never sit in the centre chair again,” Catra breathed, “and it’s my fault.”_

_“It’s not your fault Catra,” Angella asserted. “None of this is your fault. It never has been. **Never** tell yourself that. I knew the risks when I decided to help you, and even if I knew what was going to happen before I do it again."_

_Catra nodded, but she didn’t believe it one iota. She’d told Adora she was guilty, and that she’d **enjoyed** what she’d done, and now she hated her. That was her fault. Now she’d have to go into a courtroom and defend herself on the basis that she’d lied to her comrade’s face for **no** reason she could imagine. And now she’d destroyed the career of the only other person who had ever even hinted at seeing her worth. _

_Catra was scared. But she wasn’t going to let that show. She wasn’t going to let anyone pity her. Not Adora, not **anyone.** She could look after herself. She only hurt people when they tried to help. So she’d manage alone. _

***

Neither the First Officer nor the Science Officer uttered a word until the _Dragon’s Daughter III_ was in the air heading for the aperture in the shield. Glimmer spoke first, softly, and apprehensively. “I’m, err, sorry about not trusting you, Catra.”

Catra wasn’t quite sure what to do with that. “I didn’t trust myself, Sparkles. Can’t fault you for having as good judgement as I did.”

“Still,” Glimmer began, rubbing her hands to nervously. “I didn’t need to be so unprofessional.”

“I appreciate the sentiment. And thank you, as well.”

“What for?”

“For figuring this out,” Catra explained, gesturing to the back of her neck. “For helping me. I might be dead if it wasn’t for you.”

Glimmer smiled and shrugged. “We’re Starfleet. It’s what we do.” Catra gave her own wearily smile in reply before they slipped into a comfortable silence as Seahawk began his final approach of the _Alliance_ Hangar bay.

“She’s a real piece of work,” Glimmer commented tentatively. “Your foster mother, I mean.” Catra gave a slow nod, slumping low in her seat as she watched the Gray Starship grow closer. Somehow, the stars seemed brighter now than they had on the way down.

“Yeah,” Catra replied simply. There were no voices lurking anywhere, anymore. It was just her own thoughts. “Not gonna miss her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shadow Weaver getting what she deserved (sort of) was cathartic to write, and I hope you enjoyed reaching this chapter as well! 
> 
> I also got bored and did Picrews of the Command crew which you can see here: https://twitter.com/BadSocialism/status/1355997828196270081?s=19 (if you wanna follow me on twitter too that's cool)
> 
> As always, leave a comment/kudos!


	14. General Quarters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few preliminary notes:
> 
> A Klingon D6 looks like so: https://www.deviantart.com/metlesitsfleetyards/art/Klingon-D6-from-Axanar-575972551 
> 
> I also suggest the following as a musical accompaniment to the first half of this chapter: https://youtu.be/lYDud6kPdmY?t=985 
> 
> Also ICYMI: I made Piccrew Icons of all the crew and put them on Twitter! https://twitter.com/BadSocialism/status/1355997828196270081

Catra didn’t really know why exactly she was going to bridge at 1 am. She didn’t really feel like she could go there, even if Adora had ended her confinement to sickbay and she wasn’t being escorted around the ship anymore. She couldn’t hear the voice anymore – any voices at all, thank god, especially not that bitch’s voice, but was she free? She didn’t know anymore. She had thought she was free, after the trial, but now? Obviously, that wasn’t true. Was it true now? Of course, it was. Her mind was clear now. There was only voice now. She was fine.

Had Catra been tricked again? It seemed possible. She had tried not to think about it, but the moment they had beamed back and Mermista had given her another suppressant shot “just for safety” she’d been unable to stop herself wondering if suddenly she was going to start lurching at people’s throats or trying to turn her Phaser on her friends just as she’d done before. Even now as she walked through the near-empty corridors of the _Alliance_ , she saw the wary looks (at least they seemed wary) in the crew she passed and felt their anxiety at her presence.

Was it her fault? Were they scared of her specifically? Maybe not, but she made their jobs harder – more dangerous. Adora had assured her she wasn’t a threat anymore, and she could return to duty anytime she wanted to – Adora certainly needed it, if the bags under her eyes and weary looks were anything to go by. If they were going to Etheria to stop Hordak and the Prime programme, they’d need everything they had ready to go. That, apparently, included Catra. And if Catra was going to be a useful asset, she needed to be at 100 per cent. She needed to be comfortable around the crew, and for the crew to be comfortable around her. To trust her. They were deep into the Crimson Waste now, out of contact with Starfleet and any help that would come. The crew now only had themselves and the other 167 people on the ship to count on. Catra needed to be one of them. But she needed to trust herself again first. There was a process to that.

Part of that process, apparently, was getting out of bed at 12:45 am, throwing a uniform on and heading to the bridge, but now she was in the turbo lift heading up to Deck 1, she was beginning to regret having gotten up at all. What exactly was she going to do? Just wander around the bridge, conversing with the night crew? Did she really need to do that? No, this wasn’t about that. She needed to be on this bridge when none of the other senior staff was around, to deal with being in that space without the prying eyes of her fellow officers. She needed to feel comfortable in that place before then.

 _That seems sensible_ , she told herself as the red doors in front of her slid open. Taking a second to scan the bridge, she noted (with some relief) that Adora wasn’t here. It wasn’t that Catra didn’t want to talk to her yet, it was just that-

Well, what was it really? Fear? Probably. Of Adora? Absolutely not. Then it was still residual fear of what she’d do then.

No, that wasn’t that. The pit in her stomach wasn’t that seething or agitated. It was quiet, but ever-present, sapping away at her confidence. It was the same sensation as she had felt when she stepped onto the _Alliance_ months ago on Starbase 14, the one that had evaporated immediately when she had stopped onto that bridge back then.

This time? She felt just as hollow inside. The pips and beeps of the sensors, the hum of computers as the stars sliding past on the viewscreen provided no comfort right now, no regularity. She felt alien here again – like a stranger – an interloper. She shouldn’t be here. No, she should go back to her quarters. The crew were all busy, none of them would know if she just shut the lift door and went back down, right?

“Catra?” Glimmer was staring at her from where she stood next to the comms station. “Are you…ok?”

“I’m- “Too _late now_ , Catra groaned to herself. “I’m fine. I just-“what _do I say now?_ “-wanted to see how you were doing.” _Is that the best you had, Catra?_

“…I didn’t know you knew I was on night duty,” Glimmer said dubiously. “But I’m fine, thanks for checking. Much easier now I'm not doing your workload.”

“…great,” Catra offered, glad that Glimmer wasn’t going to press it. “Mind if I have a look around?”

“Sure, but I’m in command, remember?” Catra blinked, unsure about how serious Glimmer was.

“I mean, sure, I am off duty,” she replied breezily. “I won’t get in your hair.” That earned a snort from Yeoman Frosta, who sat idly at the Sciences station. Glimmer glared at her, but otherwise did nothing to reprimand the younger girl. It would have been futile anyway.

The bridge was quiet, beyond the regular noises of sensor sweeps. The night duty officers, beyond Glimmer, Frosta and Lonnie at Navigation, were unknown faces to Catra, and as they looked up and nodded to her, she could see the uncertainty in their eyes as they met hers. Were they afraid of her? Still? She tried not to think about it as she strolled deliberately around the rim of the bridge. Lonnie looked up from the console and flashed Catra a knowing, recognisable smirk, but that was just Lonnie’s way. Did _she_ trust Catra? She’d never _liked_ Catra, but that’s different. Would she take Catra’s orders? Would she listen to them, or would she and the fresh-looking Andorian at the helm baulk at her commands and have her thrown off the bridge? Catra didn’t know but didn’t want to find out either.

“You know, the Captain’s been asking after you,” Glimmer said, appearing at Catra’s side as if she’d just beamed there.

“I’m aware,” Catra replied, quietly, ignoring the curious look on Glimmer’s face. “I’m just…not really ready to discuss what happened yet.”

“I can imagine.” The Science officer nodded, tapping away at the Padd in her arms. “But I think you should really go and talk to her, Catra. She needs you right now.” The Caitan raised an eyebrow. “She’s…not faring well. She’s worried about you.”

“She doesn’t need to be.” Catra looked away from Glimmer, hands behind her back in a parade ground pose. “I can handle myself.”

“Sure.” Glimmer sounded unconvinced. “I think she’d like to help, though.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s your friend, Catra.” Glimmer frowned at the scoff that she got in response. “Come on, Catra, she’s barely functioning right now. You’d know that if you came out of your quarters to do anything but eat.”

“There’s a reason for that,” Catra growled. “I’m medically recuperating. Mermista’s orders.

“Oh please, “Glimmer said with an overly-dramatic eyeroll, “that’s not a good enough reason. You look fine. You _feel_ fine, don’t you?” Catra didn’t reply. “Then what’s really up?”

“I _don’t want to talk about it,_ ” Catra murmured through gritted teeth.

“Well if not now, then-“

“Lieutenant Brightmoon, sir?” The duo turned to the communications officer. “Can you take a look at this?”

Glimmer glared at them, then at Catra. “We’re not done here,” she warned as she strode over to deal with whatever Ensign Hopkins had going on, leaving Catra to stew in what she’d said.

What had Glimmer been getting at? Well, she’d been getting at the fact that Catra was frightened of going back on duty. She’d been right about avoiding Adora as well. And she had (sort of) been right about the reasons. Sort of. Catra was afraid of talking to now, but not because she thought she’d hurt Adora – but because she already had. This crisis- the _Catra_ crisis, as she presumed people called it – had thrown them right back to how they were when she had first beamed aboard. At least that’s how she felt. Would Adora be hostile to her? Overfriendly? Angry? Upset? Catra didn’t want to know. It was easier avoiding it, at least for now. At least until she was ready.

 _Will I ever be ready to deal with Adora, though?_ Catra’s answer to her own question, however, was interrupted by an exclamation.

“What the hell is that?” Glimmer and Hopkins leaned closer to their console, trying to work the controls.

Catra stared at her across the bridge for a second, then groaned as curiosity overtook her. “Problem, Lieutenant?”

“There’s a signal being beamed at us, sir. Very tight beam.”

“From where?”

Glimmer shrugged. “Somewhere out in the Waste. The interference is too strong at this point for the sensors to get a lock, but it’s gotta be close.”

Catra peered over the comms officer’s shoulder. “Never seen anything like this before. Very low frequency, but-“ there was something worrying identifiable in the way it repeated itself, but that wasn’t what stuck out to her immediately. “I think it’s a Klingon signal.”

“Klingon?” Glimmer seemed dubious. “What do you think, Hopkins?”

The comms officer nodded “Confirmed, sir. Very low frequency, but definitely an Imperial Navy Transmitter.”

The Science officer gave Catra a snide look. “Nice guess.”

“It wasn’t a guess,” Catra replied, leaning closer to look at the message being transmitted.

“What are they doing here? They’re on our side of the Neutral Zone. There’s nothing here for them.”

“There was,” Catra growled. “Weaver.” She stood up from the console, frowning.

“But Weaver was on Mystacor,” Glimmer seemed unconvinced. “Why are they out here in the Waste then?”

“I’ll bet all my wages that Weaver was signalling them everything we told her about the wastes. They’ll know everything they need to grab the riches of it for themselves.”

“Firstly, Catra, we’re not paid. Secondly – well, you’re probably right actually.”

Catra wasn’t listening to Glimmer’s pedantry. “Lieutenant, look at these wave patterns.” The pink-hair woman stared at Catra. “Please?”

“Why?”

“You picked up the frequency Weaver was transmitting back when I-“Catra shuddered involuntarily, “when I was on the planet.”

“What-“Glimmer went white, then leaned in to look at the screen. “My God.”

“It’s the same signal isn’t it.” Glimmer didn’t reply. Is this why Catra was feeling off? Had Weaver got the last laugh?

“Ensign, Jam that signal.” The tiredness in Glimmer’s face had vanished for an almost terrifying look of determination. “Catra, I think you should leave the bridge.”  
  
“Now, hang on-“

Glimmer wasn’t budging. “We don’t know if they got through, sir. Now-“

“Sensor contact!” Frosta yelled from the Science Station. “Klingon Battlecruiser at 099 mark 168.” 

“Onscreen.” The screen switched to show a distant speck, which magnified to reveal the distinctive shape of a Klingon Battlecruiser, the bulbous forward section connected to the wing-like rear by a long thick neck and struts. The D6 was nowhere as sleek as the more modern D7, but they were still mean, packing enough of a punch to make the _Alliance_ think twice before engaging.

“D6-K,” Catra mused. “She’ll try and pin us down with hit and run attacks before using her Phasers to finish us off.”

“I remember the combat drills, Commander,” Glimmer growled. “Range, Yeoman.”

“1.2 Million Kilometres, matching our course and speed.”

Glimmer frowned. “How’d they get that close?”

“With the interference from the waste, we were lucky to pick them up at all, sir,” Frosta commented. “You’re welcome for upgrading the sensors, by the way.”

“Not now, Yeoman,” Catra growled, before turning back to Glimmer. “What do you think?”

Glimmer looked up, surprised that Catra was asking her a question. “I…think they’re trying to hide. By matching us at that range, they want us to think we’re a sensor ghost. They nearly managed it as well. Hell, if we’d got any deeper into the waste, we wouldn’t have picked them up at all.” She seemed to have completely forgotten about kicking Catra off the bridge, entirely focused on the tactical questions. _Good,_ Catra thought.

“They could’ve followed us all the way to Etheria without us knowing at all.” Catra squared her jaw, watching the cold, green-grey ship on the screen. “They know their stuff; I’ll say that much.”

“Not well enough,” Glimmer snarled. “Sound yellow Alert. Phaser Crews, standby for action.” Catra felt like this was the opportunity – nay, the correct time under all regulations – for her to step in and take command, but something was warning her not too. It wasn’t like Weaver’s voice, undermining her for its’ own sake, or the vicious, overpowering call of Prime. It was her own voice, quiet. _You aren’t ready yet._ _If Glimmer wasn’t ready, she’d give the chair to you._

“Glimmer…” Catra said warily. “What are you doing here.”

“We have to stop them, Commander.” Glimmer was looking determined now. “You said it yourself, they’re making a run for Etheria’s mineral wealth as well. We can’t allow that.”

“What are you gonna do, blow them up?”

“What? No!” Glimmer snorted. “We’re going to warn them off. That’s all.”

“That won’t work,” Catra replied. “They’ll see it as a challenge. More importantly, it gives away that we know they’re following us. They don’t know that yet. We have that advantage right now. We could lure them into the waste and disable them, on our own terms.”

Glimmer frowned. “That isn’t very Starfleet.”

“Neither is getting blown up by Klingon torpedoes,” Catra growled.

“Well, if they don’t withdraw, we can do your plan,” Glimmer concluded. “Hail the Klingons, Ensign.”

The Comms officer nodded, and Glimmer sat up slightly in the chair as she attempted her most authoritative voice. “Unidentified Klingon vessel, this is the _USS Alliance_. Identify yourself and state your intentions.” There was no reply.

Glimmer sighed. “Klingon vessel, if you do not identify yourself, we will assume your intentions are hostile and respond in kind. Please Identify yourself and state your intention.” Nothing again.

“Glimmer, “Catra urged, “Don’t try and bluff a Klingon, especially not when you’re outgunned.” _Take command_ , she told herself, but the chair still frightened her, even more with Glimmer sitting in it confidently.

“It’ll be fine,” Glimmer insisted, “They’ll just-“

“Klingons changing course sir!” the Navigator shouted. “Coming about at Warp 5!” The Battlecruiser had swung towards them, her bulbous forward now facing them to reveal the large torpedo launcher in her prow, which glowed red with malice.

“Her weapons are hot,” Frosta warned. “She’s got torpedoes ready to fire!”

 _Shit._ Catra watched as Glimmer froze for a second before she smacked the alert button on her console. “Red Alert! All hands to General Quarters. Captain Gray to the bridge.” The siren behind them began to wail. Catra glanced around her, watching the bridge crew spring into action. “Helm, bring us around to face her. Phaser Crews, target their warp engines.”

 ** _Gray to the Bridge. What the hell is going on?”_** Adora sounded weary, but alert.

“There’s a D6 bearing down on us, sir. We’re preparing to defend ourselves.” She sounded very confident in herself. It troubled Catra.

_“ **D6? Glimmer what are you talking about-“**_

“I’ll explain when you get to the bridge sir,” Glimmer growled through gritted teeth.

_**“We’re on our way.”** _

Catra watched the ready lights for each weapons room flash to green in sequence on the Navigator console at an achingly slow pace. _Not good enough, not good enough!_ she thought as the D6 flew towards them in a steep dive, aiming for the topside of the ship. “Evasive manoeuvres!” she yelled. The Helmsman, panicked, looked between her and Glimmer for guidance, wasting precious time.

“Do it, dammit!” Glimmer yelled, but the Helm had waited too long.

“They’re firing sir!” There was a red flash, and a Klingon torpedo whirled towards them before hitting them with a crash, jolting the entire bridge and throwing Catra to the floor. She was up an instant later. Glimmer had clung onto the command chair, but she still looked as shook up as the rest of the bridge crew.

“Damage Report!” Catra called, as the first return shots were fired, bouncing harmlessly off the Klingon ship’s shields as it pulled away from them at speed, swinging around for another attack run.

“Damage to the number 1 shield!” called the ensign at the engineering station. Another torpedo smashed into them, rocking the bridge again. “Power outage on decks 2 through 4! Turbolifts have no power!”

“Keep our forward shield to her! Fire Photon torpedoes, full spread!” The red bolts struck the Klingons amidships as they closed, but the Battlecruiser took the hits with ease before firing another volley, swooping over the _Alliance_ as the bridge shook. 

The shock of the hit threw Catra into a handrail, winding her. Gasping, she spun angrily to face the command chair. “I did warn you, -“Catra began before she saw Glimmer slumped on the floor, dazed, blood oozing from a head gash. _Dammit._ “Someone get her some medical attention!” she shouted, before leaping into the command chair without another seconds thought. It felt wrong, but there was no other choice at this stage. The ship had to be saved.

“Warp engines have cut out- we’re at Impulse only!” _Dammit,_ Catra growled. At sublight speeds, the _Alliance_ could do nothing but wallow like a garbage scow while the D6 made hit-and-run attacks at Warp speed.

“Helm, evasive manoeuvres, Pattern 01-Georgiou Sierra!” The ship began to drop vertically away from the Klingons, forcing the D6 to adjust its attack run as the _Alliance’s_ phasers fired wildly towards it. The next torpedo hit was less accurate, glancing off the shields with little more than a light rattle. Someone had hauled Glimmer into a chair, where she slumped, glassy-eyed. Catra glanced at her, concerned, before concentrating on the viewscreen in front of her. _If we make it out of here alive, I can worry about her_. “What’s our status?”

“Number one shield is close to collapsing. If it goes, we’ll lose warp power completely.”

“What about the Klingons?”

“She’s in not much of a better state,” Frosta replied. “One good Phaser hit might crack her, but it’d have to be close.”

“How close?” Catra asked.

“Under 150,000 km.”

“It’ll have to do.” Catra smacked the comms panel on the chair. “Bridge to Phaser room. Standby to fire on my mark. Target enemy warp engines.”

 **“ _Aye, sir!_** _”_ Kyle’s voice wavered. _Dammit Kyle_ , _don’t let me down now._

“Here they come!” Lonnie called from navigation, as the D6 rolled round into her attack run, the torpedo launcher in her prow lighting up a sinister red.

“Range 450,000 kilometres and dropping,” Frosta called, watching her scanner.

“400,000.” _Closer,_ Catra willed.

“350,000.” The was a crash as the Klingons let loose with another torpedo. “Shields, holding, but barely!”

 _We don’t have much wiggle room here._ The Klingon ship was looming closer now, like a scavenger watching a dying prey animal limp desperately away.

“250,000,” There was an almighty smash, and for a second, the bridge lights flickered. “Number One shield has collapsed, sir!”

 _200,000_ , Catra told herself. “Phaser crews, standby to fire at 150,000 km.” _That should take about_ _5,4,3,2,1-_

“Fire!” There was no response. “Phaser Crews, fire!”

“Range now 120,000km and closing!”

Catra leapt up to the Helm console. “Override!” she yelled, desperately pressing the fire button as the D6 barrelled towards them.

“I tried!” The Helmsman cried. “No response!”

“Range now 80,000 km!” Frosta sounded urgent now. Catra stared desperately at the viewscreen. If the Klingons let loose at them at under 40,000 km at their unshielded upper hull, there would be little chance of survival. Their disruptors would smash cleanly through the hull plating and rip through the warp engines before the whole ship went up in a quick flash of light and fire that would consume them all. The was nothing to do but take the punishment and pray to whatever deities the crew believed in.

Catra, for her part, was cursing the memory of Shadow Weaver. _I hope she dies in more pain than I was in_. Suddenly two blue bolts flew out from the top of the _Alliance_ , cutting through space in searing beams of white light before they smashed squarely into the Klingon Drive section.

“Kyle, you magnificent bastard!” Catra yelled as an explosion ripped into the enemy ship’s hull, an explosion ripping into the plating as the Klingon warship veered erratically away.

“Direct hit at 49,000 kilometres!” Frosta confirmed excitedly. “Klingon Warp engines are damaged, and she is moving off at…Warp 1.5.”

Catra grinned at the trail of green plasma oozing out of the D6 as it limped into the distance.

“ Bridge to Phaser Control, do you receive?”

 **“ _Phaser control here,_ ” **Kyle said nervously. **“ _Is everything alright?”_**

“Perfectly fine here, Mr Kyle,” Catra grinned. “You had us worried when you didn’t fire at 150.”

 ** _“I was supposed to fire at 150! I- I just heard the 50 – oh, I’m sorry Commander I didn’t mean to-“_ **Catra rolled her eyes as Lonnie groaned.

“Kyle?”

**_“Yes sir?”_ **

“Well Done.”

**_“Thank you, sir.”_ **

Catra smirked and closed the channel. “I really don’t know what you see in him, Lonnie.” The Navigator shrugged, and Catra turned to face the Comms officer. “Mr Hopkins, Secure from General Quarters.” Hopkins grinned back at Catra, who spun back in the chair to face the front of the bridge. It felt comfortable now - moulded, as much a part of the well-oiled machine of the bridge crew as Catra felt she finally was again. 

“Are…we ok?” Glimmer’s voice was weak, but Catra was up instantly and at her side, helping her to her feet. “Is the ship safe?”

“We’re alright,” Catra reassured her. “A few knocks and bumps. Not as bad as the Klingons. How do you feel?”

“Like I just drank a pint of Romulan Ale,” Glimmer groaned, rubbing her forehead. “I’ll be alright.” She looked up at Catra nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t mention it,” Catra said dismissively.

“No-“Glimmer grimaced as she stood on her probably-sprained ankle. “I mean it, Catra. If I’d listened to you, none of this would have happened.”

“Sparkles, -“ Catra began.

“Just take the apology, Catra,” she said with an eye roll. “Please?”

“Fine,” Catra said with mock reluctance, then flinched as Glimmer gave her an impromptu hug. “Not on the bridge, maybe?” she gasped.

“Shut up.”

Glimmer only let go when there was a crash from behind her, and they both looked to see Adora crawling out of a kick out panel by the turbolift, Bow quickly following through behind her from the emergency access ladder. The Captain looked weary, and a bit bruised, but mainly she determined as she straightened her Uniform and glared the two of them down. “What the hell have you two done to my ship?” she yelled, hands on her hips.

“Well-“

“You see-“

“I was the senior officer and-“

“I was in command though-“

“You were incapacitated-“

“But only because I didn’t-“

“I outrank you so-“

“ _You_ weren’t in the centre chair-“

“Oh _come on_ Sparkles, I am clearly responsible-“

“ _Really,_ Catra?”

“When you’ve _quite_ finished,” Adora growled. Glimmer and Catra stopped babbling out their explanations at around the same time. “Commander Weaver, Report.”

“The Klingons got the drop on us, sir,” Catra began, ignoring the confused look on Glimmer’s face. “We should’ve picked their weapons up earlier. I take full responsibility.”

“Full responsibility?”

“Yes sir.” The Captain seemed unimpressed, at the very least.

“Anything to add, Lieutenant Brightmoon?” Glimmer glanced at Catra for guidance. “Lieutenant?”

“No sir,” Glimmer murmured. “Nothing to add.”

Adora stared at her for a second, then sighed and stepped into the central well. “You’re relieved, Lieutenant. Go get yourself checked out by the Doc.” Glimmer frowned at Adora, but nodded as a damage control party moved onto the bridge from the now-functional turbolift.

“Aye, sir.” Glimmer glanced at Catra, who gave her a small smile before the Science Officer trudged over to the lift.

“What’s our status?” Adora asked out loud, 

“Damage to the Warp drive and hull. Shields might take a while to recover, but they’ll still hold against any radiation.” Adora nodded to herself as she listened to Frosta’s report. “Sickbay reports 12 injured, none severe. Could’ve been worse, sir, if it wasn’t for the Commander.”

“I’ll make that judgement myself, Yeoman.” Adora stared at the starfield on the screen for a few seconds. Catra wondered what she was thinking. “What speed can we make?”

“Warp Engines are back online, but we can only make Warp 4 maximum right now, sir,” the Helmsman replied. “Engineering gives it 3 hours before we can make Warp 6, longer for anything higher than that.”

Adora grimaced. “If the Klingons get their damage under control, they’ll make Etheria before us.” Catra wanted to protest – Kyle had got a clean square hit on the Klingon’s engines. However, If Adora’s judgement was right (and irritatingly, it tended to be) then the Klingons could get to Etheria hours, if not days before them. “Helm, resume course for Etheria, maximum available warp. Lonnie, you have the Conn.”

“Aye sir,” The Navigator affirmed, shifting to sit in the central chair, as Catra stood by the Engineering console, watching Adora walk towards her, a grimace marring the Captain's face.

“You’re with me, Commander,” she half-growled, not bothering to see if Catra followed her. Catra did, of course.

Neither of them said anything until the lift started moving. “What the hell was that, Catra?”

“What do you mean? Sir?” Catra didn’t understand, for once.

“Why were you covering for Glimmer?”

“I wasn’t _covering_ for her. It was my responsibility. I was the superior officer on the bridge.”

“Then why weren’t you in the centre chair?” Adora asked. It was a fair question. If Catra had been in the chair, this might’ve been avoidable. “You _were_ the superior officer on the bridge. Your duty in that situation was to take command from a junior officer.”

“Lieutenant Brightmoon had it under control.”

“Lieutenant Brightmoon is inexperienced with handling a ship in a combat situation,” Adora countered as she strode out of the turbolift, Catra in lockstep with her. “She needs further training in command situations.”

“Who told you that?”

“You did, Commander,” Adora growled. “In your crew evaluations.”

“Well, maybe I was wrong.”

“You _weren’t_.”

“Oh, and you know that for certain?” Catra growled. Adora rolled her eyes, stopping outside her quarters to glare at her first officer.

“I might not, but I do know when my first officer isn’t being honest with me.”

“Not _being honest?_ ” Catra echoed furiously, following Adora into her quarters. “I know what I’m talking about. I was not on the ball then. Glimmer was.”

“Bullshit,” Adora said, turning round to face Catra, almost shielding her from entering the rest of the room. They were a bit of a mess right now, which didn’t make sense to Catra. Adora was a neat freak, so why was there a pile of uniform tunics on her bed (which barely looked slept in), and books lying half-opened on every surface, along with a meal that looked like it had barely been inspected, let alone eaten. It wasn’t right. _Adora_ wasn’t right.

“You saved the ship, Catra. But it wouldn’t have needed to be saved if you had done what you should have done.” Adora was leaning in close now, their height difference apparent enough not even accounting for how small Catra felt right now. “You knew what you needed to do, Commander, but you failed to do it. You put this ship in danger by leaving it in the hands of a less experienced officer, and I need to know why!”

Adora’s tone was firm. She wasn’t shouting, but Catra could see the frustration in her eyes. The frustration with their situation, with the state of the ship, with the weight of their mission and with _her._ She could see how weary she must have been to snap like this. Was it all just the burden of command? Surely not. What else could be eating away at her? Why did she look so pained when she looked at Catra?

“Why, Catra? What’s wrong?” Catra blinked. Adora’s tone had shifted out of command, it was softer, but it was still creased with tension, like the calloused palms that gripped Catra’s shoulders as she stood in the dim light of the Captain’s Quarters. “I _need_ to know.”

“it’s- it’s not a problem, sir,” Catra tried to dismiss it like she dismissed all her feelings. “I’m fine. I can handle it.”

“But you can’t, Catra.” Adora looked close to weeping now. “I can see it in your eyes – in your posture – dammit, Catra you don’t sound yourself! You barely sound like you can trust the words coming out of your mouth!”

“What if I can’t though?” Catra shot back, even now sounding a little half-hearted. “Those Klingons were trying to activate my chip, Adora! They were trying to take control of me! I don’t know who else could do that!”

“I won’t let that happen to you. Not now, not ever.” Adora looked mournful for a second. “I let it happen once and I won’t let it happen again.”

“Let it-“ Catra growled, her tail flicking in frustration. “This isn’t about _you_ Adora. This is about me. I have to handle this, myself! I spent long enough having other people save me when I can deal with this myself!”

“You don’t have to do it yourself, Catra!” Adora sounded frustrated- no, exhausted, the bags under her eyes looking more pronounced in the dim light.

“Oh, because people will stand up for me? Dammit, Adora, I spent a week and a half locked up because _you_ were scared I’d hurt everyone!”

“It was for your safety!”

“That went well, didn’t it!” Catra yelled, twitching at the thought of the pain that had pulsed through her when Adora had left her alone with that woman. “It’s all about the mission with you Adora, isn’t it? About the ship. About the chair. About Duty. Not me. I’m just part of the machine to you, aren’t I?”

Adora looked shocked. “Part of the _machine?_ Who do you think I am? Catra I’ve known you for twenty-four years, you’re not just another body in a gold shirt to me. You never were”

“And for that matter, you’re not just another officer to the rest of the crew. You’re the XO. You matter to them as much as you do to me. We’re all here for you. _I’m_ here for you.”

“I-“ Catra thought back to the hug Glimmer had given her on the bridge, to the tenderness Bow had shown her in her lowest hours, to the look of anger and fury on Adora’s face as she had found Catra half-dead on the floor of Weaver’s cell. Did they care? _No_ , the quiet voice said. _They can’t. You don’t, so why should they?_ “. Don’t say that. _Please._ You don’t care about me.”

“I care about you Catra!” Adora pleaded. “I really do!”

“I know, but- I can’t get myself to believe it. It’s not your fault, but-“Catra winced. “I can’t convince myself that I can be- be-“ tears were falling freely from her eyes.

“Be what, Catra?” Adora asked quietly.

“ _Be wanted_ ,” Catra sobbed. “I…I just can’t. I don’t know whether I’m wanted as a leader, or as a friend. You hated me, Adora! And I deserved your hatred!”

“Catra…” Adora put a palm out to Catra, slowly, waiting for her to flinch away. She didn’t, and Adora’s hand came to rest on her cheek cupping her face, thumb brushing in a soothing motion. “You are my- my friend. You always will be. I never hated you. _Please_ trust me when I say that.”

“It’s hard, ok!” Catra continued. “A-a lot has happened. Not just on the ship, but with us. I- I don’t know what we are any more, Adora! When I first came here, I just wanted to be professional. But that wasn’t working. Then I tried to be friendly – and that was working, but then _the chip_ happened, and I barely knew who _I_ was, let alone what _we_ were! “She shivered slightly. “I don’t _know_! I just-“

“What- what do you want us to be, Catra?” Adora asked tentatively. Catra looked up slowly at her, tears matting her fur.

“I- what do _you_ want us to be, Adora?”

“I-“Adora paused for a second, and Catra watched her face as she thought for a moement, the wrinkles in her brow creasing and uncreasing. The wait was unbearable. “Adora? Please, just tell me, I need to-“

It’s a very strange thing to be surprised by a kiss. Not in a bad way. It’s a very, very good thing. But it’s strange. Especially so when the moment it happens – the very instant that your lips touch theirs – you realise it is the thing that you have wanted the most in the world.

It’s the thing that you think about the last instant before you drift off into your dreams but can never recall; the half-forgotten wish you chose not to remember because it seemed so silly and would never happen; the shot-down daydream when you see those lips smiling and wondering things that you tell yourself you wouldn’t wonder. All those moments of silliness; the heartfelt smiles across classrooms, the grins in the Academy quad, the giggles in shared quarters and at duty stations – they all came together as one moment of past and present combined in this sensation of sheer joy. Catra thought it would be awkward, or messy, but if it was, she hadn’t noticed. It was too much – too exultant, too magnificent.

That’s what it felt like when Adora kissed her. Catra wondered what Adora felt. Was she afraid? Was she scared? Would she regret it?” Was she-

Adora pulled away for a second, and Catra dared to open her eyes, trying to read her face as she looked down at her. The blonde was staring at her in wonder, a small, nervous smile on her face, blue eyes dazzling and wide.

“Wow,” She breathed, her voice quiet and wonderous.

Catra rolled her eyes. “Don’t ruin it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Camera pans up to the ceiling while dramatic love theme plays* 
> 
> The slow burn is (sort of) over! Hurrah!
> 
> As always, leave me a comment/kudos! It's what writers live on!


	15. The No-Win Scenario

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead this time either! Hooray!

“You have nice arms.”

Adora blushed but didn’t move. “Thank you?”

Catra hummed in satisfaction as she ran her down the skin on Adora’s right arm, which hugged the caitian tightly. “Your skin is softer than I thought it would be.”

“What did you expect?” Catra shrugged. Adora couldn’t see her face from where she lay, but she could tell Catra had a smug smile on her face.

“I dunno. I mean your hands are always so rough, it’s nice that your arms…aren’t.”

“You didn’t seem to mind my hands last night,” Adora snarked, unable to stop the smug grin that emerged as Catra rolled over to glare playfully at her. “I’m not wrong.”

“No,” Catra mused, her mismatched eyes dancing in the dim light of Adora’s quarters, “no I did not.” Her smile was almost hypnotic and Adora couldn’t stop leaning in to leave a peck on her lips. Well, that was the plan. In reality, her and Catra’s lips were in contact for a good few minutes before either of them broke to take a breather, both trying not to grin too madly.

It had been – well, it was difficult for Adora to describe. She felt quite giddy, really. Did she want to take the time to understand what happened? No. She wasn’t entirely _how_ it had happened, but it had. That’s what mattered. Catra was here. In her quarters. In her bed. In her _arms_ , no less, her tail rubbing up and down Adora’s spin and across her back muscles while she smiled lovingly at-

Well, that was something that did need to be understood. Adora opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again. Catra giggled. “Hey!”

“You look silly,” she said with a smile. “What’s going on in that big head of yours?” she asked as she leaned forward to kiss the aforementioned head, leaving a peck on Adora’s forehead.

“Well-“Adora’s brain, now fried after that _last_ kiss, took a second to reboot while Catra watched her with amusement. “I think we need to talk.” Catra looked less amused now.

“About what?” Adora motioned between the two of them. “Use your words, dummy.”

“That’s _Captain_ dummy to you,” Adora scowled.

“I refuse to call you Captain when we are in bed, Adora.”

“Well- you’re distracting me Catra!” Adora whined. The caitian’s smile fell, obviously sheepish.

“Sorry.”

“It’s-“ Adora sighed, and turned over to lie on her back, staring at the dark ceiling. Catra had shifted onto her side to prop herself up with one arm, and Adora felt her eyes watching her concernedly.

“I’m listening, Adora.”

“I- I need a second to think.” Thankfully, this time Catra didn’t interrupt. _How do I phrase this?_ “What- what are we doing?”

“…having a conversation?” _Ok, not like that_.

“I mean-“Adora sighed, and turned her head to look at Catra, who even in the dim light looked _radiant_. Blinking herself back to reality, Adora continued. “What are we?”

Catra shrugged. “Whatever you want us to be?”

“Not helpful, Catra.”

“I’m not on duty, I have no obligation to be helpful.”

Adora groaned. “Why are you so…”

“So what?”

“So casual about this!”

Catra’s face shifted for a second, but Adora couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I-“Catra sighed. “I just want to enjoy it. Enjoy _us._ Whatever _us_ is. That can wait.”

“But like-“Adora didn’t _want_ to wait. She’d never been a person with any patience at all. She had always been the first kid into class and first out, the one who put her hand up to try the new thing first, always ready to take the leap or make the big, crazy, stupid decision. _Usually,_ Catra was at her side. Not right now, however. “-it’s kinda important.”

“Is it?” Catra shifted to look at her more seriously now, sitting up on the bed while Adora lay flat. “Why do you need to know what I want?”

“Because-“

“What do you want?”

“I-“well, this was the heart of the problem. What did Adora want? “I don’t want you to get in trouble for this.”

“You won’t,” Catra said breezily. “Jim Kirk and his First Officer fuck all the time, and no one makes a fuss about it.”

“I- you know that’s never been proven right.” Catra snorted. “Listen we can sit her and argue about whether or not Kirk and Spock are together, or we can try and figure out what we are doing, one of the other.”

“You’re the one evading the question _Adora._ ”

“I- what I want doesn’t matter.” Catra huffed. “What?”

“You can’t figure out _us_ until you figure out what _you_ want, Adora.” The blonde resisted a groan at that.

“What I want doesn’t matter. I have a job to do.” Catra winced at those words, but Adora kept talking. “You have a job. And beyond those two things, I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to get hurt.” _I don’t want to hurt you again._

“I don’t want to hurt you either! I don’t you to-“she was interrupted by her Comm panel whistling.

 _ **“Brightmoon to Captain.”** _Adora groaned, and Catra stared daggers at the console.

“I should probably get that.”

“Sure,” Catra glowered as she rolled away to face the wall. Adora frowned but rolled over to answer the message.

“Gray here.” The irritated face of Glimmer appeared on the viewscreen. “What’s up?”

_**“I just thought I’d remind you we have a Senior Staff Briefing at 09:30 hours, sir.”** _

“Oh! Great!” Adora replied.

_**“In Fifteen minutes, Sir.”** _

_Shit._ “Understood. I’ll see you there, Lieutenant.” Glimmer made a grumbling noise, but closed the channel, nonetheless. Adora turned round to talk to Catra, who was still facing the wall. “We should probably shower.”

“Yeah.”

“What were you going to say, Catra?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Catra muttered, getting up without ceremony and walking to the bathroom without another word. Adora blinked, unsure of what to say or do in reaction to that. Catra was clearly unhappy about something, and Adora _should_ have figured out why by now.

The key problem, of course, being that Adora wasn’t a “figure feelings out” person. More of a “set your fists to stun and your kicks to kill” person. Asking her what Catra was going to say was like asking her to do a Klingon crossword. I mean, obviously Catra was angry and upset, but about what? God knows.

Sometimes she wished she could the thing Glimmer and Bow do where they communicated without words, but she’d probably screw that up as well. She just didn’t understand what had pissed her off about what Adora had said. Catra mattered. The mission mattered. She didn’t want one to hurt the other, but she needed to be clear about it now. She couldn’t assume.

Catra came out of the bathroom and Adora started speaking before she even knew she was, as Catra opened her mouth almost simultaneously.

“Listen-“

“Hey-“

“You first,” Adora said. Catra nodded.

“I’m sorry, I overacted, I just-“she sighed, and Adora couldn’t help but smile slightly at the way she looked in the light as she thought. “This is big, ok? I- don’t want to open this Pandora’s box while we’re still dealing with the other, possibly civilisation-ending one out in the Crimson Waste. I- do you get that? I don’t want you to get hyper fixated when you’ve got everything else to do.”

“But you matter Catra. You’re-“ Adora caught herself, unable to say the words. She hated that she couldn’t say the words. Whatever the words were. She wasn’t really sure. “You’re my first officer. Part of the crew. I need you.”

“Yeah,” Catra replied, clearly deflated.

“I’m sorry for bringing up the – y’know, complicated stuff.”

“It’s fine. Friends?” That word didn’t seem right anymore, but Adora nodded with a small smile.

“I should probably shower though,” Adora added, grabbing her uniform tunic and pants off the chair she left them on.

She wasn’t quite sure what to make of that word. _Friends_. She tried to figure out why it felt wrong while she was in the sonic shower, but nothing seemed to stick. It wasn’t because they weren’t close. Hell, they were closer now than they’d ever been. She’d been willing to die for Catra mere days ago. Then again, now she thought about it, she’d kind of always been willing to die for Catra or any of her other friends. _This isn’t the time to deal with my martyr complex._ Is there ever a good time to deal with a martyr complex?

_If there is, it’s probably not while dealing with an interstellar crisis while making your relationship with your childhood best friend turned first officer even more complicated than it already was, is it?_

It was complicated. Adora didn’t like complicated. But then again, if she hadn’t wanted this to be complicated, she shouldn’t have kissed Catra last night. Or pulled her over to her bed or- But how could she have said no? How could she have told herself no? Well, she could-

 _Concentrate, Adora,_ she told herself as she pulled her uniforms pants on. It had happened now. It had been good. She had enjoyed it. _Catra_ had enjoyed it. But what happened next? Adora wasn’t sure. They couldn’t go back to being _friends,_ even if that now- useless word had fit before. Had it really fit before? Adora hadn’t been keeping track. _Why is this tunic so tight?_ Adora shrugged it off and walked out into her room, where Catra sat on the bed watching Adora with a quietly irritable expression, and without her gold uniform on. “Where’s your tunic?”

Catra looked at her, then pointed at Adora’s sleeves.

“What? I don’t- “the gold piping was missing a ring. “Oh, this is your shirt isn’t it.”

“Yes.”

“I thought it smelt nice.”

“Take the damn shirt off Adora,” Catra said with a groan as the Captain grinned. “I don’t even know how it fit you in the first place.”

“Xenylon is very stretchy you know,” Adora replied as she threw it at Catra then put the _correct_ uniform on, checking the rank tabs just to be sure.

“Is that why it rips so easily?” Catra asked slyly as she stood up.

“I dunno. Who do I look like, a tailor?”

The caitian looked her up and down for a second. “You look like a lot of things, Adora.”

“…was that flirting?”

“Maybe.”

“Ok, none of that when we’re in public,” Adora warned with a very serious waggle of the finger. “I’ve got a ship to run.”

“Oh, have you, _Captain_?”

Adora gave her a terse look. “I’m being serious.”

“Fiiiine.” Catra gave her a small smile. “C’mon, we’re late. We don’t want Sparkles to get on our ass, do we?”

“Well-“How _was she so relaxed about this now?_ “Alright then. Carry on, Commander.”

***

Catra seemed very relaxed about this all. Adora would be irritated by it, but frankly, she had other things on her mind at present. Specifically, the briefing, which they had (thankfully) been right on time for. Glimmer had given her a look (we’re _talking about this later_ look) when they’d come in the door together, but no one else seemed to notice. They were all far more interested in their guest, who sat awkwardly between Chief Netossa and Scorpia.

Lt. Spinner looked like a nice woman. Adora wasn’t exactly the best judge of people (especially people she’d never spoken to), but at first glance, she did seem _nice_. But she also looked tired – very tired, as if she’d been drained for years and years without rest. Which, considered what Mermista had said about the strain the Prime chips put on people physically, was true. Physically strain could be fixed.

Mental though? That’s another thing. Even as she stood at the front of the briefing table, her eyes brushing across everyone sat around the table, Adora could see the disorientation on Lt. Spinner’s face. She was not an unimposing figure – security officers of all kinds rarely are – but she had a kind face and long flowing hear that was beginning to turn a pink-grey tinge. Overall, she looked _tired_ more than anything. Having the chip removed had been surgically simple (thanks to Mermista and Entrapta’s skill), but psychologically? Adora could see the lack of recognition as she glanced at her wife (who seemed to have aged years in the last two weeks) and the awkward she handled technology that had changed so much in the time she’d been brainwashed. There was light in her eyes, and a small, earnest smile on her face and her laugh lines were clear on her cheeks, but occasionally, she’d glance at Netossa with confusion and concern. Part of Adora wanted to call it all off and give everyone more time, but she knew she couldn’t. She was the Captain. She had her duties, and so did they.

“Thank you all for coming,” Adora began as the muted conversation hushed. “We’ve got a lot to get through, and not a lot of time to cover it in, so I’ll _try_ and make this brief.” She began the slideshow behind her as a map of the crimson waste with the _Alliance’s_ route through marked on, along with the locations of Starbase 14, Mystacor and a thick Red Line marking the edge of the Klingon Empire. “After our incident last night with the Klingons, it is now clear that our expedition into the Crimson Waste is more than a simple Archaeological Expedition, or merely a rogue AI. If _Nuqjatlh-“_

“Nuq-what?” Mermista frowned as she tried to get her mouth around the Klingon name.

“Governor Weaver. She-“Adora sighed. “She was a Klingon deep cover agent.”

“Fuck,” the Doctor murmured. “Does that mean she put the Klingons onto us?”

“Most likely,” Catra supplied. “She’d been feeding the signal to the chip in my neck all this time, so if she can do that getting a transmission across the border would be no problem.”

“Exactly,” Adora continued, giving Catra an affirming nod. “Which means that we can assume everything she told us, she also told them, which is a problem.”

“How so?” Scorpia leaned forward, bracing her pincers on the table. “What interest would the Klingons have in a dead planet?”

“It’s not that dead,” Catra growled. “It’s still got that computer on it. Amongst other things.”

“Other things?” The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Like what? Maps?”

Catra shook her head determinedly. “Resources. Dilithium, Pergium, Zenite. You name it, the Eternians had it, and plenty of it.”

Glimmer grimaced. “If the Klingons thought they could grab that from under our noses, they’d do anything for it.”

“Nuqjatlh-Weaver- told us that the resources of the Eternian Empire are not myths. Now she might have been exaggerating a little, but the presence of a Klingon Warship in the region, attempting to prevent us from reaching Etheria, means that they must believe it as much as we do. And even if there are no mountains of Dilithium out there, there may be something much worse.”

“What could be worse than the Klingons getting their hands on enough resources to destroy the Alpha Quadrant?”

“Them not needing the resources.” All heads turned to Spinner, who gave them a shallow wave.

“Who are you?” Frosta asked, courtesy (as usual) being far above her pay grade. “Sir?” she added, upon noticing the gold cord on Spinner’s sleeves.

“This, _Yeoman_ , is Lieutenant Noelle Spinner.” Spinner gave a small nod. “Spinner was on Frightus when Hordak took over and was-“Adora faltered as she met Catra’s mildly haunted gaze as she stared at the older women across the table from her. She swallowed and tried to continue. “She was-“

“I was chipped by Hordak’s forces during his coup,” Spinner continued for her, her voice level and gravelly, her vocal chords strained from lack of use. “I – I don’t really know when, but it was before he decided to expand into Federation Space.”

“Oh,” Frosta said quietly. “What were you saying about resources?Sir?” Adora stifled a remonstration at the Yeoman’s glibness, Anyway, but the look of the glare Netossa was giving her Yeoman Shackleton would get what she deserved.

Either way, the lack of direct concern seemed to bounce off Spinner. “Like us, the Klingons are interested in discovering the location of the Eternian Empire’s immense mineral wealth and technological advances. They are also then likely to know about the Light Hope programme.”

“What’s the Light Hope programme?” Glimmer asked.

“It’s the Eternian Command and Control system,” Adora supplied. “It’s what connected all their outposts and planets with almost instantaneous communications, allowing them direct control over all their colonies.”

“It’s more than just a communication system,” Spinner added. “Within its coding is a secret contingency programme, devised at the height of their last War. The She-Ra programme.”

“Nice name,” Catra commented breezily. “Bit frilly, but a nice name.”

Glimmer’s brow, furrowed for a few minutes, tightened as she interrupted. “Hold on a second. How do you know all this?”

Spinner’s expression tightened with phantom pain as she gripped her wife’s hand tightly. Adora frowned. _This was a mistake_. “Maybe we should-“

“It’s alright, Captain.” Spinner forced a smile out, then turned to Glimmer. “When I was – part of the Horde network, you see everything at once – you hear everything at once. When you are called on by Prime – the core directive of the computer – you are subsumed, but otherwise? You just kind of…exist in the ether, with all the other individuals and all the information in the system.” Spiner shuddered and the light in her eyes seemed to dim for a second.

“Spinny, do you want to take a break?” Netossa leaned into half-hug her while staring daggers at the Glimmer, who had the sense to look apologetic.

“I’m fine,” Spinner replied. “I need to make sure they know the danger they're in.”

“Danger?” Glimmer sounded less concerned about _how_ Spinner knew what she knew now. “What danger?”

“When I was in – whatever that zone of existence was, I saw the code for She Ra. It wasn’t easy to find – it wasn’t meant to be found – but _Prime_ had found it.”

“So what exactly is She-Ra?” Lonnie asked. “Or who?”

“She-Ra was one of the old gods of Etheria,” Adora replied. “She was the Goddess of Power, and the protector of Etheria’s natural world and beauty. She kept the balance between light and dark, and between the Eternians and the environment around them.”

“Sounds like a groovy girl,” Mermista snarked. “What does that have to do with this ‘weapon’.”

“The Eternians called their doomsday weapon She-Ra for a reason,” Spinner explained. “From what I can remember from the programme was designed for their last great war. The code seems to imply that it could destroy whole fleets in an instant, or strike across light-years to hit targets with impunity. Supposedly, it was going to win the war by “striking a balance across the empire.”

“That’s…descriptive,” Catra snarled. “Didn’t they leave an instruction manual or something?”

“The Eternians liked to be cryptic. Ancient peoples always do, for some reason. What I can tell you is that it could wipe out entire planets in seconds and did do so several times.” The viewscreen switched to a map of the Mystacor system, the two planets and four intermittent Asteroid belts labelled distinctly. “During the Eternian Imperial Era, there were six planets in the Mystacor system.”

“Great,” Glimmer growled. “So we have an ancient weapon that could or could not exist, but if it does-“

“Let’s assume it does, Glimmer,” Adora cut in hastily.

“Fine. This device can _apparently_ turn entire planets into asteroids in mere seconds.” There was a second as they took the implications in.

“If the Klingons get this, we can say goodbye to the Organian Peace Treaty,” Lonnie murmured. “Even if the Organians kicked up a fuss the Klingons would just blow their planet up and it wouldn’t matter that they’re made of energy.”

“Agreed,” Adora said. “We _have_ to get to Etheria first and prevent them from getting their hands on the computer.”

“What would we do with this She-Ra programme if it’s real?” Glimmer cut in. “Destroy the computer and it with it? Take it apart and study it?”

Adora sighed. “I would prefer not to have to destroy the computer systems of Etheria. If we can keep the system functional, we can far more learn about the Eternian Empire and the First Ones than anyone ever has.”

“If it doesn’t kill us first,” Catra growled.

“Either way,” Spinner said with a note of resignation, “I’m not sure destroying it is a possibility. It’s not one console. It’s basically the whole planet, deep under the crust and through the mantle, right through to the core.”

“So, it’s a no go with the Ship’s Phasers then,” Lonnie offered.

“Not unless we want to crack the planet, which- well, that’s not an option.” Adora stood up straight to face the table. “The only option is to take an away team to the planet and try and shut it down manually.”

“What, you think this thing has an off switch somewhere?” Catra scoffed.

“Hordak turned it on somehow,” Bow pointed out. “That means there must be a direct interface of some kind.”

“Sure. But it’s going to be protected,” Catra growled back. “We don’t know what kind of Security we’re going to face down there, let alone in orbit.”

“Well, I can tell you about orbital defences at least,” Spinner said, nodding to Adora to move the slides forward. An image of the Etheria system appeared on the viewscreen with the orbits of all 12 planetary bodies mapped on. “There are 5 main planets within the Etheria system. Etheria itself has four moons. Of note to us is the third one, Krytis.”

“Looks dead,” Glimmer commented.

“It was stripped for its resources millennia ago,” Spinner continued. “But before the Empire died, it served as its main Dockyard and Fleet Headquarters, as well as being the main defence line before Etheria itself.”

“It can’t be active now,” Scorpia said, more as a question than a statement. “It’s been over a thousand years since the Eternians were building ships, right?” She glaced around nervously. “Right?”

“Since they did, yes. But Hordak was building ships here only a decade ago, if Governor Weaver is to be believed.” Adora sighed. “Considered what we know about Hordaks’ industrial capacity, he could have dozens, maybe hundreds of ships here.”

“Why?” Seahawk asked.

“To fight, you fool,” Mermista chided. “People don’t build ships unless they mean to do something with them.”

“Most likely, they were built before Hordak and the Programme found out about She-Ra. What purpose they serve now, I don’t know. What I can tell you is that within the Etheria system itself, the system runs on an automatic detection system. You enter orbit of Etheria, it will destroy you, if not with ground-based weaponry, with flights of Lance ships.”

Catra was listening intently and spoke up immediately. “So, we shut it down first and head to the Homeworld, then what?”

“It might not be that easy,” Spinner countered gently. “If we set off the automatic defences at Krytis, we might set of the systemwide defence protocols. That’s assuming the Horde programme hasn’t been upgrading the systems.”

“What do you mean upgrading?” Adora didn’t like the sound of that. “I thought it was just a self-defence programme?”

“It is, but-“Spinner twitched, and Adora recognised the pained expression that had been washing over Catra’s face across the past few weeks. “The programme _thinks_. It’s not operating based on laid out patterns or pre-existing protocols. It learns. Sets its own. Proposes ideas, and then follows them through. Irrational ones, even.”

“It’s like the M-5,” Entrapta commented, breaking her silent notetaking to comment. “Does that mean Hordak imprinted his brain engrams onto it?”

“Possibly?” Spinner shrugged. “All I can tell you is that it wasn’t a machine. That thing was alive. And very paranoid.”

“Paranoid?” Catra scoffed. “How can a computer be paranoid?”

“Paranoia is just a form of self-defence,” Entrapta ventured before Spinner could reply. “if it was programmed to defend itself, it will tend to see all threats as being equally large if proper threat analysis was not provided.”

“Wonderful,” Catra snarled. “Well, what exactly was this ‘machine’ paranoid of?”

“You, for a start.”

“ _Excuse me?”_ All eyes in the room turned to Catra, who was staring aghast at Lieutenant Spinner, who merely smiled slightly and nodded.

“It thought you were a liability to the ‘will of Prime’. That you’d find a way to break the programme – and lead people to Etheria.”

Catra sounded as little less aggravated but still glared at Spinner. “I guess it was right about that.” Eventually, she broke the glare to meet Adora’s eyes, fixing her jaw with determination. “Which means we can be sure he’s expecting us.”

“So,” Adora began, “we can try and disable the security system, and waste valuable time and maybe even let the Klingons land of Etheria in the meantime.”

“Which might not even work,” Scorpia added.

“Or, we can make a run straight for Etheria and try and disable the whole programme before it destroys the ship.”

“That sounds…equally impossible,” Mermista scowled. “And I suppose fighting our way out is just _asking_ to be killed.”

“A Kobayashi Maru,” Seahawk mused. “It’s a no-win scen-“

“We all know what the Kobayashi Maru is, Seahawk,” Glimmer growled. “And unfortunately, this looks like one.”

“Even the Kobayashi Maru has loopholes,” Adora countered. “I need options people. Think outside the box”

“Could we jam the security system?” Bow suggested first. “Maybe prevent the programme from calling in reinforcements, at least for a time.”

“It’s possible,” Spinner replied, “but the window would be tight, and you’d have to make sure you got _every_ frequency.”

“We’ve got the operating frequencies of the ships we encountered on Erelandia, as well as the ones sent to commander Weaver in the Library computer,” Bow supplied. “We could extrapolate further frequencies to cover it but-“Bow sighed. “It’d be difficult.”

“What if we masked the _Alliance_?” Entrapta piped up again, and everyone’s head turned to look at her. “I mean, we know what frequencies the Horde ships use for signalling and recognition, as well as the signature of their Warp Engines. What if we used them to mask the Alliance’s communications and Warp Signature?”

“Fool them into thinking we’re a Horde ship? Sounds like quite an _adventure_!” Seahawk piped up to say. Adora suppressed an eye roll. Mermista and Catra audibly groaned.

“That might work,” Glimmer suggested tentatively. “Their sensors aren’t very advanced, and if they don’t know what they’re looking for they might miss it.”

“But if they spot it, they’ll be right on top of us,” Catra countered. “They’ll blast us into atoms before we can do anything.”

“Alright, that’s two for two. Any other ideas?” Silence. Adora frowned, willing herself not to fiddle with her tunic sleeve. They couldn’t fail now, at the first hurdle. She couldn’t let them all be killed. There _had_ to be a better way.

Glimmer spoke first. “What about near warp transport? We could pass Etheria at Warp 2, beam the team down to the planet and Warp back out to the edge of the system.”

“Near warp transport? Are you insane?” Catra sounded like Glimmer had suggested they asked the Gorn for help. “That’s barely been tried, and not anywhere about Warp 1.3. Are you trying to beam someone into a wall?”

Glimmer was undeterred “We could do it, right chief?” Netossa gave an affirmative nod, and Catra rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Glimmer. It won’t work. Besides, what’s the option for the return trip? Try and do the beam-up at Warp 6?”

“A return trip would be too risky,” Adora cut in, much to Catra’s satisfaction.

“You see, Glimmer?”

“I didn’t say it was a bad idea.” It honestly wasn’t one. This was a mission of vital importance. There was only one choice.

“What do you mean?” Catra swivelled to glare at the Captain. “You want to send people to _die_ down there?”

“I’m not sending anyone. I’ll go – with volunteers.” The whole command crew stared at Adora in muted horror. “If we have to.”

“Captain, I refuse to allow anyone – especially you – to attempt a near warp transport while there are any other options available.” Catra’s eyes were glazed with anger and determination as she waited for Adora’s answer.

“I’m with Weaver on this one, Captain,” Mermista added. “It’s too much of a risk.” Adora watched as no one else spoke up for the idea and sighed. They weren’t going to be convinced right now. Adora knew how the situation could (and would) spiral out of control, but there was no point having that conversation at present. When the time came, she would be ready.

“Fine.” She watched half the room let out breaths they didn’t know they’d been holding. Catra still stared at her, expression unreadable. “Let’s go with masking the _Alliance_. Entrapta, get to work on altering the Warp signature. Bow, Glimmer, Frosta, make sure out sensor image is as _close_ to a horde ship as possible. Scorpia, Lonnie, I need an away team selected immediately.” They all nodded in affirmation. “Alright, Dismissed.” They all nodded and began to leave, already chattering about their selected tasks. Adora sighed and turned to Lt. Spinner. “Thank you for the briefing, Lieutenant. That couldn’t have been easy.”

“It was fine, Captain. I’m glad I could help – it was a little strange, though.”

Adora crooked an eyebrow. “strange?”

“Talking to people again.”

“Oh!” Adora cringed internally. “I see.” Spinner chuckled to herself, seeming surprised at the noise.

“It’ll take some getting used to.” Spinner’s smile seemed warmer now than it had been at the start of the briefing, and Adora could see light emerging from her eyes as she spoke again. “I think I can provide some more help to you, sir. We – Netty and I – are going to try and see if I can map out Etheria’s surface for you. Dr Mermista’s agreed to help as well.”

Adora smiled. “That would help a lot, actually. Thank you.”

“All in a day’s work sir.” Spinner and Netossa nodded in farewell, and the couple walked quietly out of the briefing room. Adora watched them go, unsure of what the feeling deep in her stomach was as she watched them pass through the doors, arms wrapped around each other. What was that pang? Jealousy? Want? Admiration? Something like that. The feeling of yearning clung on (for some reason when she turned to talk to Catra, but disappeared the moment she saw the hollow, angry look on her features.

“Are you ok, Catra?” she asked quietly.

“I’m fine.” Catra didn’t look up from where she was staring as she sat in her chair, her mismatching eyes burrowing a hole into the bulkhead. “What did you want me to do, sir?”

“I-“Adora was going to ask her to do a tactical analysis of the Horde ships, but she stopped herself. _No ignoring problems_ , she told herself, _not in a time like this_. “What is going on, Catra.”

Catra looked up, muted anger was written all over her face. “Nothing, _sir._ ”

“C’mon Catra. It’s just us. _Please_.” Adora stepped over to her and reached out with her right hand. “You can trust me. I promise.”

Catra looked at Adora’s hand, then at her face, and took a deep breath. “Why are you always so ready to die?”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“I remember when we did the Kobayashi Maru at the academy. Every time you did it, you chose to sacrifice yourself. Not your ship, not the Maru, _yourself._ You’d try and beam over or exchange your life for the Maru with the Klingons, or some other idea that put the mission ahead of you.”

“It’s the Kobayashi Maru, Catra. It’s called the no-win scenario for a reason.”

“But you were always _so ready_ to die. It hurt, Adora. It hurt to watch you go into the simulator every single time and face death and defeat. I saw how much it hurt you to do it, but you did it every time because _you_ thought it was necessary.” Catra’s expression was pained now, and she took another deep breath to control her emotions. “I was so _relieved_ when you stopped, remember?”

Adora nodded. “You snuck out of confinement to congratulate me. I didn’t understand why.”

“Because you _gave up._ You gave up on sacrificing yourself. You thought for yourself and-“Catra broke her gaze for a second, and wiped the tears from her eyes. “You’re doing it again.”

“Again?” Adora blinked in confusion. “I don’t understand?”

“You were ready to go and _die_ , Adora.” Catra pronounced each word with force, pressing her hand into Adora’s palm. “I saw it in your eyes. You’ve already convinced yourself you need to, haven’t you?”

“I-“

“Is the risk worth it, Captain?” Catra was on her feet now, glaring at Adora. “You would put this ship – this crew – _yourself_ – on the line just to protect a _computer_ from the Klingons?”

“It’s not just a computer, Catra. It might well be the last real remnants of an entire civilisation! It can’t be destroyed. And either way, I don’t have a choice. It needs to be done.”

“And that’s worth it? Letting yourself die when you could use the damned thing to save everyone at once? Is that a risk you’re ready to take?”

“Risk is our Business, Catra!” Adora didn’t know she’d started shouting. “That’s why we’re here. That’s what this- this Starship is about. We give our lives for something better. We’re all ready for it!” 

“You seem very ready for it,” Catra murmured in reply, breaking eye contact, “Almost like you want to die down there.”

“Catra I-“

“We don’t know what we’re facing, but the first thing you went for is the worst-case scenario – the Kobayashi Maru. You die so we live. We don’t even _know_ if that choice is going to be made but you went _straight_ for it without thinking. Don’t you ever think about yourself first!”

“It’s my _job_ Catra.” Adora pleaded. “I’ll do what it takes even if it means my people get out alive.”

“And what about you?” Catra pressed. “What about keeping yourself alive?”

“I- we haven’t got to that yet.”

“You’re very willing to talk about how ready you are to throw your life down. What about living, huh?” Catra was standing now. “You find it so easy to justify dying but you can’t see a reason to live? Is your own life worth so little?”

“If I have to die so others will live then my life was worth it!” 

“What about the rest of us, huh?” Catra had moved to stand right in front of her, meeting her eyes with their face’s mere inches apart. “What about me?”

“What do you mean? I- the only reason I even thought about going down there was so that no one else had to. Especially you.” Adora watcher Catra’s face as she scowled, and then sighed.

“You’re not listening. Hell, you don’t really understand, do you? You don’t get how much you-” Catra stopped herself, swallowing whatever words were meant to come next. “You just _don’t_ get it, do you?”

“I have to protect _everyone_ , Catra.” _Especially you._ Adora thought of last night when they had been this close and they had met, and they had explored each other, and she had done things she’d only ever dreamed of. She couldn’t lose Catra. She couldn’t let anything happen to her. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. Keep _everyone_ safe.” Adora sighed, drawing a long breath as she reined herself in.

The caitian merely giving a small _harrumph_ as her tail lashed in agitation, glaring at the wall behind Adora for a second. She flinched away as Adora put a hand out to touch her shoulder. There was a twang in the Captain’s heart as she thought about how this day had begun, with Catra lying in her arms, neither of them thinking about the galaxy beyond the bulkhead wall. 

Eventually, Catra spoke, quietly. “I’m not asking as your l-friend. I’m asking as your first officer.”

“My first officer?”

“Yes, _sir._ It’s _my_ job to make sure your safety is guaranteed, and that includes making sure you aren’t going to engage in any suicidal missions.” Catra’s expression was professional now, her emotions masked by a scowl.

Adora watched her as she stood up to stand in front of her, hands behind her back. “If I can’t make sure the Captain isn’t going to try to kill themselves, I would be failing in _my_ duties, wouldn’t I?”

“I-yes,” Adora conceded. “As your Captain, and your _friend_ -“ Catra stilled at that word again, almost as much as Adora faltered on it- “I won’t go down there to tie.”

“Promise?” Catra said, quietly.

“I promise,” Adora replied. This time, Catra didn’t flinch as Adora took a step forward slowly linked their hands together, pressing her palm into Catras.

“Thank you,” Catra breathed. They stood there for a moment, alone in the briefing room, listening to each other’s heartbeats above the distant hum of the ship's engines. It was a strange feeling – like the last moments at home before a long journey – not as threatening as the last hours before a battle, but the same melancholy of the last moments of peace and certainty before a great calamity. It was a serene feeling – no thought, no daydreaming, just the quiet intimacy that two people can only have when something terrible is about to happen. It is it’s own form of No win scenario: you cannot achieve this level of calm without having the trauma to follow. Adora wished it wasn’t true, but she knew. She could feel what was about to happen in her bones. Catra could too. Behind her eyes there was fear; fear she’d channel to get her-get _them_ through this. Adora wondered what was behind that fear, and if she’d ever see it. Their war bodies tangled in her bedsheets seemed very distant now.

“Hey, Adora?”

Adora blinked as Catra pulled her out of her thoughts. “Yeah?”

“We should get to work. We haven’t got long before we reach Etheria.”

“Yeah,” Adora agreed, trying to hide her sadness. She wished they had more time. She _needed_ more time to figure this out. But not now. “I’ll see you on the bridge?”

“Yes sir,” Catra said with a small smile. She turned to leave, paused at the door, then walked slowly back to Adora, her eyes lighting up with something unreadable.

“Yes?” Adora asked. Catra looked into her eyes, then down at her lips, then pulled Adora down into a quick kiss, before walking out of the room.

 _Yeah, I definitely need time to figure this out_ , Adora thought as the room spun around her.

***

“We are now approaching the boundary of the Etheria System,” Lonnie announced to no one in particular. Adora nodded from the command chair, where she had been sitting for the last hour and a half, tapping nervously at the armrests. Behind her, Bow and Glimmer still hunched over the Communications and Sciences console, frantically working to readjust the ship’s computer output to no avail. The _Alliance_ was a big ship: she might be able to look like Klingon Bird of Prey to a sensor, but the Horde ships were far smaller, with a completely different sensor shadow. Bow and Glimmer would get it eventually: they were good, but they weren’t gods. But they couldn’t waste time ironing out the kinks. They had to go in now.

Catra had been equally displeased about the delay, but hopefully, a slow entry into the system would give them time to get the masking signature set up. That, or they get blown to oblivion but Hordes of enemy vessels.

The first officer grimaced at the starfield on the viewscreen, pursing her lips (the same ones that had pressed on Adora’s mere hours ago) with concentration. “Are we in sensor range yet?”

“Not yet,” Frosta replied from Science. “Even with our upgrades, we’re barely picking up more than the locations of the planets. It’s like a blizzard out there.”

“Well, at least they won’t see us,” Spinner commented from where she stood with Netossa by the Turbolift. “Can the maps of the Etheria system help you, Yeoman?”

“Probably,” Frosta said with an alarming level of acceptance. “I’d have to check but-“ she was interrupted by a warning alarm from her console. “Sensor Contact!”

“Horde ships?” Adora asked.

“Most likely,” the Yeoman replied as Glimmer shifted to look at the readouts with her.

“How?” Catra growled, before whipping round to glare at Spinner. “You said they only patrol when an enemy is detected?” Spinner, for her part, looked as baffled as Catra did, and took the muted accusation without much obstinacy.

“I don’t know, Commander. I can’t explain it, unless something set off the security protocols, there is no way this is possible.” She held Catra’s gaze across the bridge, unblinking.

“Confirmed, sir,” Glimmer peered into her viewer with concern. “Five Horde Lance ships directly in our path, course 0-1-1 mark 0-2-5”

“Have they seen us?” Catra asked.

“Unknown. They appear to be on some form of automatic patrol pattern.”

Adora frowned, then turned in her chair to face the Communications Station. “Bow, have any communications been sent from this ship into the system?”

Bow, for his part, tried not to look _too_ shocked at the implications of that question. “None on frequencies previously used by the Horde control chips, sir.”

“Try the low band channel that the Klingons used,” Adora said.

“Captain?” Glimmer gave her a _what the hell are you playing at_ look.

“We need to be sure, Lieutenant.” She glanced at Catra, who was still staring at Spinner.

“Nothing on that frequency, but –“ Bow paused for a second. “I am picking up Klingon transmissions.”

“What kind?”

“It’s…” Bow frowned, then turned back around. “It’s an automatic signal, sir. Sounds like a ship’s disaster beacon.”

“They must’ve set the security system off,” Spinner suggested.

Adora nodded in agreement. “Bring up a map of the system.” The viewscreen shimmered to show a tactical view of the system from above, Etheria itself labelled in red. “There’s no way we could skirt around the edge of the system?”

“This won’t be the only patrol,” Spinner replied.

“Agreed,” Catra said, stepping down into the central well of the bridge. “We’re going to have to fight our way through.”

“We don’t have time for that, Commander,” Adora said, fixing her jaw with determination.

“Well, we’re not doing the other option, are we?” Catra turned to meet Adora’s eye line. “Are we?” Adora didn’t reply.

“I hate to cut in,” Entrapta said from the Engineering Station. “But our warp signature should mask our presence enough for us to enter the system.”

Adora turned in the chair to eye the engineer. “You said it wouldn’t be ready in time?”

“We’re still having trouble masking out computer output and sensor readings, but our transponder codes and Warp signatures should get us past their sensors. If you want that. I know you said both but-”

“Wonderful. So we just have to get past several dozen Horde ships, land of the homeworld of a God-Computer, shut it down and get out alive.” Catra growled. “

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” Adora murmured, leaning forward in her chair. “Mr Sherwood, give me a ship-wide channel.”

“You’re tied in, sir.”

Adora took a deep breath, summoning her confidence. She glanced over at Catra, who gave her an affirming nod. “All hands, this is the Captain. By now, you are all aware of the mission we are about to undertake. We are about to enter a system controlled by an immensely powerful and dangerous computer, that will most likely try and destroy us. You all know how vital this mission is, and how many lives could be put at risk if we don’t shut this machine down. Stick to your posts. Trust your crewmates, and we will see this through. We’re Starfleet. We can do this. Red Alert.” Adora punched the channel close as the siren began to wail. “Take us in, Seahawk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to get this one out: real life has been a bit difficult but I'm back on track now.
> 
> As always, leave comments/praise/complaints!


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